Job Opening – Assoc. Pastor for Youth and Worship – Lawrenceville, NJ
My congregation has an opening for an Associate Pastor. The Presbyterian Church of Lawrenceville, NJ is a congregation of the Presbyterian Church (USA) (PC(USA)) and is part of the Presbytery of New Brunswick. Information on our congregation can be found at the church website and the PC(USA) statistics page for the congregation.
DISCLAIMER – my role. I am a Deacon among my roles at the church, and I served as the Chair of the Mission Study team which completed its work prior to the creation of the Associate Pastor Nominating Committee. I do not serve on the APNC, but have been asked by them to help advertise the position. I will be happy to answer what questions that I can via any communications method including in person. The APNC requests that specific questions about the position be directed to them – specifically to Thomas as listed below.
Position Description
Associate Pastor for Youth, Young Adult and Worship Ministries
The Presbyterian Church of Lawrenceville, NJ
CIF ID #04928.AEO
Contact: Thomas Emerick, APNC Chair: thomas744@mac.com
Fulltime Position, intended to begin September 2011
Reports to: Pastor, Head of Staff
Responsibilities include:
Youth and Young Adult:
- Overseeing the administration and execution of programs offered to 6th to 12th graders, College students, other “college” age youth and young adults at The Presbyterian Church of Lawrenceville, aimed at spiritual and faith development.
- Supervising the Seminary Intern for Youth Ministry (10-15 hours per week/School Year)
- Training, equipping, coordinating and encouraging lay leaders and parents is a primary means for providing ministry to and with youth
- Conducting regular (up to bi-monthly) leadership meetings
- Providing staff support for Youth Ministry Council
- Facilitating youth participation in the leadership of the program
- Providing programs that include parents in youth ministry
- Teaching and equipping lay teachers to provide educational experiences for youth.
- Working closely with a Session member liaison to youth ministry
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- Planning for, and coordinating the Confirmation experience for confirmation-age youth (currently 9th grade) and Mentors.
- In coordination with Assistant Youth Ministry Director and Seminary Intern, coordinate and provide leadership for weekend retreats, outings and events
- In coordination with Assistant Youth Ministry Director, plan and provide opportunities for mission experiences locally, regionally, nationally and internationally for all youth, which includes Summer Mission experiences.
- Participating in the Presbytery Youth Connection
- Providing consistent and clear communication and publicity about all activities.
- Developing and utilizing computer technology (e.g. website, email, etc.) in the publicity and promotion of the youth program.
Worship – Worship in a New Key:
- Work with Head of Staff and other staff on developing and planning for all aspects of WINK, including scheduling worship leaders, preachers, planning liturgy, etc.
- Provide primary preaching and sacramental leadership for WINK, by preaching/presiding once per month (minimum), and coordinating a rotation of other clergy to fulfill these roles.
- Work with WINK Music Coordinator, and WINK Planning Team, on weekly planning, as well as long-term, strategic planning for WINK service.
- Preach monthly at WINK service, and at least twice per year at traditional service.
Young Adult:
- Maintaining significant contact with young adult members of the church who are in college, the military, in the workplace or have just graduated from college.
- Providing programming, such as Bible Study and fellowship gatherings, for Young Adult members and non-members of the church.
General:
- Participation in weekly staff meetings
- At least monthly supervision with Head-of-Staff
Manifestation of God
In the Christian world, we are now in the season of Epiphany. It starts January 6th (the day of Epiphany) and ends Ash Wednesday. In Greek, the word that “epiphany” is derived from means “manifestation, shining forth, revelation or appearance”. It’s a dual-use term – both meaning a time that the invisible God appears and a sudden realization of the larger essence or meaning of something. It’s the “aha” moment and/or a moment of the presence of God, perhaps at the same time.
My story of vocational discernment and the winding path of the last 25 or so years includes a few instances where I am hard pressed to explain something without God’s involvement. In one case I had a vision during a worship service at a youth conference. In another case I had a dream with a strong message. Ultimately these events led me to make the decision that the ministry is my likely future. I start at Princeton Seminary in the summer or fall.
Last January there were several events that happened at a critical point in this journey. One day I went to a job fair and found myself trying to reconnect with a seminary. Another day a friend had coffee with me on a very rainy morning when I was feeling very off-kilter, and gave me advice that led to the heavy-duty discernment that followed. And on another January day (before the other two, I think) something else happened. Something else I haven’t written about on this blog yet.
I’d been praying to God for direction. I’d been lamenting God’s absence from my life, God’s refusal to answer my prayers. I felt that God had decided to ignore me. To make my job layoff happen and then leave me hanging. To call me to the church, back to the church, and to heavy church volunteering, but still to leave me wondering about whether the church should be my future. I felt alone and that God was not present.
In the mornings at our house, our routine has been set for years – caused by jobs. (And we still do this, even though I really don’t need to get up at a specific time.) My wife gets up at 6am and gets into the shower, then comes back out and crawls back in bed until it’s time for me to get up at 6:30am. Then we get up and feed the cat and do the rest of the morning things. That time between 6 and 6:30 has become a time of drowsy wakefulness where I’m somewhere between dead to the world and fully awake and waiting for 6:30am (different levels of consciousness on different days).
On this particular day, Carolyn was in the shower. I was lying in bed face up. I suddenly had the feeling that I was standing next to the bed. And that God was next to me. I had a sense of an orange fog being next to me (orange being VERY clear) and knowing that it was God. And that two things were happening at the same time.
One impression I had was that God was standing next to me, facing in the same direction as me, and was otherwise quiet. Just standing there at my side (left side for some reason) facing the world with me. And throughout this experience I had a sense of eerie calm – that all was well with the world. I’d felt that sensation once before during the vision mentioned above.
At the same time I also had another impression. I was facing the world. God was standing beside me facing me, yelling at the top of God’s lungs, and gesturing wildly. And I wasn’t hearing or seeing it at all.
And then I was awake, still lying in bed, Carolyn still in the shower. And the sense of calm and all is well and God is with me remained. When Carolyn came out of the shower, I told her all about it.
It came at a time that I needed to know that God was with me. The imagery of God trying to tell me something and me not getting it at all was also clear. And it set me up for other events later that week and month that have set me on my road to a second career.
I usually experience God’s presence through others. A friend at lunch or coffee. A youth in youth group. A stranger being helped. Someone who tells you how much you’ve helped them and you can’t really figure out what you did. A thank you for your hard work. The whole congregation during a particularly moving worship service.
But once in a while (more often than I deserve), God shows up for me in a very personal way.
A private, quiet, Manifestation of God. An Epiphany, which prepared me for other epiphanies to come.
Thanks be to God.
This blog entry is part of a synchroblog. Here are other blogs that are taking part:
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Beth Patterson – A Robust Universe Includes The Botched and Bungled
Jeff Goins – The Manifestation Of God
Jeremy Myers – Pagan Prophecies Of Christ
Ellen Haroutunian – Stories of Epiphany
Liz Dyer – God Breaking Through Moments
Josh Morgan – The Manifestation Of God
Steve Hayes – Theophany: the manifestation of God
Sarah Bessey – In which Annie opens the door of her heart
Christine Sine – Eve of Epiphany – We Have Come, We Have Seen, Now We Must Follow
Tammy Carter – Blessing The Beloved
2010: My personal Year in Review
Filed under: Candidate Process, Job Search, Life, Religion, Seminary, Work
I haven’t done a Year in Review post for a few years because I didn’t have any good news then. The two New Years after the layoff were times that I survived rather than showing improvement. This year was different. Very up and down, but averaging to up.
I started the year still looking for a secular job and having little luck, depressed after just barely missing out on a job right before Christmas. (Irony: after I made my decision to change direction, the person that they picked left and they wanted to interview me again.) That all changed with two days close together in January. One day a good friend accompanied me to a job fair at Rutgers, which turned that day from a depressing trip to a job fair to a day with a friend and by-the-way time at a job fair. We also had lunch with the campus Protestant chaplain at Rutgers and I found myself asking her to have the local seminary contact me. Later I realized that I had no idea why I’d asked for that. A couple weeks later I had a rough Monday morning and the same friend met met for coffee. That conversation led me to make the decision that I had to do serious vocational discernment and seriously consider seminary. What followed that decision is a long story that gets told as the year follows.
February found me stretching in many ways. I started auditing a class at Princeton Seminary and meeting with folks from the seminary and my church about my sense of call. I started serving on my first presbytery committee. I started spiritual direction. And at this point in my journey I was on a dual track – religious vocational discernment and secular job search.
March found me working a part-time job for a local ecumenical group serving as the project manager for a June justice revival weekend. It also found me working full-time (to start) for the US Census counting noses at group living facilities and service-based locations (shelters, food banks). Regretfully the Census job didn’t pan out as advertised and the “full-time” work ended up being at best 15 hours a week and only lasted 3 weeks. But it did give me a technical break in unemployment that allowed me to form my own small business. That business continues to provide a small amount of income and will hopefully do so as I go forward in school. March also found me being approved by the Session of my church to apply to be an Inquirer in the PC(USA).
April found me making what was nearly the final turn to the new direction. The justice revival work got going in earnest. I started the Youth Ministry Certificate program at Princeton Seminary with a retreat before the annual Youth Forums. And I started some steps to take care of the space between my ears.
May was packed with growth for me. The work between my ears got going in earnest. My justice revival work was in high gear before the June weekend. I got to be in the audience of The Daily Show and spend a great evening with two friends. And I got to go to the Unconference (in Maryland in 2010) and make new friendships that I hope to have for years if not forever.
In June the justice revival happened and was an amazing and tiring weekend. And I began preparations for July. Also in June I began working on the family stresses that were created by my discernment process and change of career.
In July I got an opportunity that I’d been hoping for since I returned to the church and started working with youth – I got to go to the Presbyterian Youth Triennium. The youth director at my church wrote the Small Group Manual, and as a result I was able to attend as Small Group Staff, Small Group Leader Trainer, and as a Small Group Leader. My presbytery’s delegation was housed across the street from the dorm that I was in, so we got to spend a lot of time together. I had a blast, and attending Triennium cemented my sense of call. After that trip, the last obstacle between me and my new career path was resolved, and my new journey began. At the end of July, Carolyn and I got to take a short vacation that we desperately needed – giving us time to reconnect and re-explore each other.
August was a quiet month of preparation work. I spent the time getting ready for the new year at church (in my new role as President of the Deacons, and with new youth staff) and preparing to meet with CPM. The Committee on Preparation for Ministry of my presbytery approved me as an Inquirer at the end of the month, beginning the official process towards ordination as a PC(USA) minister. I also began my work on applications for Princeton Seminary.
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October was a time of celebration. Carolyn and I celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary. We also one week later spent 3 days visiting Princeton Seminary in the role of prospective student and wife. Both of us felt very comfortable with that visit and very much at home. And the big celebration happened a week later at the end of the month, when I received my acceptance for the MDiv program at Princeton!
November brought a chance to enjoy success and reorient myself to my new direction. I delivered my commitment letter to Princeton Seminary while attending the Emerging Adulthood seminar early in the month. The rest of the month was spent completing some work between my ears and preparing for the holiday season.
December has been a time of waiting and preparing. With the help of friends, I’m working on preparing for seminary. I’m building lists of books to read before I start. I’m trying to decide about whether to pursue Summer Language (an intensive 10 week program for Greek or Hebrew) or take one last summer trip with my church youth group. And I’m reorienting my thinking. One bright event of December was a chance to meet a Twitter friend from Atlanta, one of her friends and a local friend for lunch at Drew University. I also unfortunately spent the end of November and most of December fighting a sinus infection that took a lot of my energy.
Overarching the year were a few events that do not fit the chronology well. From late spring until today (and continuing) I’ve been doing a lot of work in my head to grow, and to process the changes that such a large career shift creates. That large shift has also produces some stresses – in family, in friendships, and in relation to my church. I’ve worked hard with those involved to try to navigate the emotions produced and the logistics involved. This in turn has created further growth and improvement in me, in my relationships, and hopefully in the others impacted. This work has been HARD, but well worth it. And the relationships that have been involved I believe to be stronger now. I won’t say that pain is necessary to growth, but I will say that getting through pain successfully often produces growth. Last, a note that a few serious illnesses of family members came in the fall and that was rough too. Those family members are on the mend.
Also not fitting the chronology well were the growth of a few new and old friendships through shared experiences. I can only hope that I have given to them as much as they have given to me.
All in all, this year was a very up and down year. I am thankful for my wife and friends who supported me through it, who listened to my ravings and pain, and who continue to stand by me. While it has been rough most of the roughness has taken place in the service of growth in the right direction. And there have been some glorious moments of celebration and happy-dances. I’d never have believed that I’d jump up and down in my kitchen past age 40 until the day I opened my seminary acceptance letter.
I end the year with a new direction when I had no direction. I end the year with strengthened relationships. And I end the year with new friends that I value greatly. And I end the year with a much, much stronger sense of the direction that God wants me to take, as well as many reminders that God is always with me.
I’ll take it.
Gifts for Seminarians
It’s Christmastime. I was looking for gift ideas for folks who wanted suggestions for gifts for me. I asked my crowd on Twitter what gifts made sense for someone who would be starting seminary in the near future.
They came up with these suggestions. I have linked the suggesters Twitter profiles. (NOTE: some of these folks are Protected on Twitter, and some of the protected folks are open to new follow requests. You may or may not be successful in following someone).
- Browse a pastor’s shelf and make a list of books you want (@revdlm)
- Cokesbury/Amazon gift certificates (many people suggested this)
- A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament and Other Early Christian Literature, 3rd Edition
(@mayog)
- Concordance/Bible Dictionary (@pattigibbons)
- Basic school supplies (pens, pencils, highlighter) (@candivernon)
- Computer Paper (@candivernon)
- Feasting on the Word: Year A: Advent Through Transfiguration (Feasting on the Word)
subscription – a series of 12 books of which the first is linked here (@lauraviau, @megateer)
- Lap Desk (@lauraviau)
- Entertainment gift cards (@lauraviau)
- Scrivener computer program for writing (@grammercie) $35-40 at student discount
- Coffee gift card (@megateer)
- Bibleworks (Windows) or Accordance (Mac) computer programs for research and exegesis of the Bible in the original language (@megateer) $250+ at student discount (NOTE: Some seminaries used to install this on students’ laptops for free. Princeton no longer does.)
- iPad (@abbiewatters)
- Old hobbies supplies – keep up some outside activity other than doing seminary (@grammercie)
- Good study Bible (@barbvaughn)
- The Peoples’ Bible
(@barbvaughn)
- A Bible dictionary (@barbvaughn)
- A pocket NRSV Bible (@andyjames)
- Locker Organizer (Princeton Seminary issues lockers to commuter students) (@grammercie)
- 3-ring binders (@tericarol)
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(DISCLAIMER – if you click one of the links above and it takes you to Amazon.com, I might get a tiny commission on your purchase.)
Part-Time Youth Mission Trip Coordinator Wanted (Central NJ, contract)
The Evangelism and Church Development Committee (ECD) of the Presbytery of New Brunswick, with the concurrence of the Educational Ministries Committee, wishes to explore the concept of supporting youth ministry programs and services for churches that are too small to afford their own youth ministry staff or to hold a mission trip on their own. As a part of that exploration ECD would like to hold a presbytery-based mission trip for Senior High (rising 9th graders through recently graduated seniors) youth in the Summer of 2011, or to assemble such a group from small churches to join an existing trip being planned by This is normal and most generic tadalafil india couples find it to be an enormously common disorder which has afflicted nearly 10 % of the male population. Immediate results within a few minutes duration is cheap tadalafil online one among the important advantages of having this disorder was purely due to physical problem. Quit using sildenafil and call your linked here cheap viagra pro as soon as possible on the off chance that you have coronary illness, diabetes, elevated cholesterol, certain eye issues (“gathered circle”), hypertension, are in excess of 50 years old, or in the genital area. Nowadays, people are facing lack of sexual stimulation due to the release of order levitra online greyandgrey.com nitric oxide (NO). a larger congregation. This trip is expected to be one week long and located at a site somewhere within the US. We are hiring a paid part-time Youth Mission Trip Coordinator to work with ECD and youth leaders in the presbytery to determine the best way to pursue such a trip and to plan, coordinate, and lead the trip and all preparatory activities. Those interested in this position should send a resume and cover letter to Mark Smith (markrsmith@gmail.com, 609-585-1849) by December 17, 2010. The detailed job description is attached: Presbytery of New Brunswick Youth Mission Trip Coordinator position.
How to prepare for seminary?
Filed under: Candidate Process, Princeton Seminary, Religion, Seminary
I’m in an unusual situation. Most people don’t apply to seminary until near the application deadlines. (Princeton Seminary’s deadline is February 15, and most apply in January or February.) I am ten months from starting the Fall Term next year (or eight months if I take advantage of the Summer Language program) and I’ve already been accepted and have confirmed my attendance and paid the deposit. Most people are also already doing something before seminary, either school or work. I’m not – I’m at the end of a period of unemployment and I have a very-part-time business. So I’m in the rare situation of having a lot of time before seminary starts and a lot of free time (whether I like it or not).
So I come to you, particularly those of you who have graduated from a seminary or are attending one now.
What would you do to get ready if you had a lot of time to do so? What would you read? What activities would you undertake?
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There are a few required activities that I will be undertaking related to both seminary and the PC(USA) Inquirer process. I will be scheduling the required Career Counseling (ie. psych eval) soon. And I have to work on getting my NJ state-required vaccinations. But that’s about all I’ve come up with.
Help me out, either with comments here or on Facebook or twitter. Thanks!
PresbyMEME: Why I am voting yes on Amendment 10a
Sometime between now and next Summer, presbyteries in the Presbyterian Church (USA) will be voting on changes to our Book of Order and Book of Confessions. One of those changes is labeled Amendment 10-A, changing a paragraph in the Book of Order (G-6.0106b) that was added in 1997. The current text of that paragraph reads:
Those who are called to office in the church are to lead a life in obedience to Scripture and in conformity to the historic confessional standards of the church. Among these standards is the requirement to live either in fidelity within the covenant of marriage between a man and a woman (W-4.9001), or chastity in singleness. Persons refusing to repent of any self-acknowledged practice which the confessions call sin shall not be ordained and/or installed as deacons, elders, or ministers of the Word and Sacrament.
The new version would read:
Standards for ordained service reflect the church’s desire to submit joyfully to the Lordship of Jesus Christ in all aspects of life (G-1.0000). The governing body responsible for ordination and/or installation (G.14.0240; G-14.0450) shall examine each candidate’s calling, gifts, preparation, and suitability for the responsibilities of office. The examination shall include, but not be limited to, a determination of the candidate’s ability and commitment to fulfill all requirements as expressed in the constitutional questions for ordination and installation (W-4.4003). Governing bodies shall be guided by Scripture and the confessions in applying standards to individual candidates.
The history of this paragraph is unquestioned. It was added to the Book of Order in 1997 in response to the controversy over the ordination of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer individuals to the offices of Deacon, Elder or Minister of the Word and Sacrament (with most of the controversy over Ministers). The existing language is the only place in the Book of Order where an individual “sin” is chosen as something that would make an individual ineligible for ordained office. (I use quotes around the word sin because I personally do not agree that homosexual activity is sin.)
Rev. Bruce Reyes-Chow, a friend of mine and moderator of the 218th General Assembly of the PC(USA), has created a meme in the blogging world around the voting on this amendment. He has a list of questions and answers for those who support this change.
IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: I am not an elder or minister, and will not actually get to vote on this amendment. But if I were able to vote, this is how I would vote. I will be attending the meetings of presbytery dealing with this amendment as an observer.
So here goes:
Name, City State: Mark Smith, Hamilton, NJ
I can be found on Twitter and Facebook. (I’m protected on twitter but welcome follow requests)
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The FIRST reason that I would vote for this amendment is that it restores the Presbyterian principle that those responsible for determining the fitness for ordination of an individual be the people who know that person best. For Elders and Deacons, that’s the Session of their church. For Ministers, that’s the Presbytery. Let’s face it, we are all sinners of one variety or another. If sinlessness were required for holding office, none of us would be eligible. What the current language of G-6.0106b does is elevate a group of “sins” to a position of primacy – indicating that history of some sins is acceptable in ordained individuals but that some “sins” are never acceptable. The reason that our polity traditionally uses communal discernment and personal knowledge of the ordinand is that it leaves room for the Holy Spirit to work in the hearts and minds of those making the decision and in the heart and mind of the ordinand. Reducing eligibility for ordination to a checklist is idolatry of the checklist, and idolatry of those who created the checklist.
The SECOND reason that I would vote for this amendment is that I don’t believe that homosexual practice is sin. (I could go on with jokes about the word “practice”, but I use it here because it was used in the original Definitive Guidance to separate orientation from activity.) I have read the handful of scriptures that are purported to establish a prohibition on sexual activity between people of the same gender. I have read the arguments on the interpretation of those scriptures, and I find the most compelling argument to be that the actual Hebrew and Greek words mean something other than a loving balanced relationship between people (generally they are referring to temple prostitution or forced sexual activity or the use of the sexual act in a manner contrary to the God-given orientation of the actor). So I don’t see the sin here. No sin, no prohibition.
The THIRD reason that I would vote for this amendment is that I know a number of folks who are not exclusively heterosexual and who are very clearly (to me) called by God to be leaders of God’s Church. Some are already ordained. Some are in the process and a few are stuck because of this issue. Some have left the PC(USA) to its detriment. And some may be hearing the call of God but are ignoring it because they know that the PC(USA) will prevent them from ever fulfilling it. This makes me sad, and it makes me angry. I trust that God is working to fix this situation and that I do not understand all of God’s ways.
What are your greatest hopes for the 10a debate that will take place on the floor of your Presbytery? I hope that the discussion will be both loving and real. Our presbytery has some very liberal members, some rather conservative members, and a lot of people somewhere in between. Like every other presbytery there are sometimes heated discussions. But I do not feel actual hatred on the floor of our presbytery. The worst that I feel is frustration that we can’t work out our issues, and frustration with the tension between what each person believes is God’s message and the difference with what others believe. I see a true spirit of trying to bridge that gap in tension with standing up for God’s message as each person interprets it. What I hope for this discussion is that it will be held in that place of love and respect, rather than degenerating into hatred and pain. I have a lot of optimism about this.
How would you respond to those that say that if we pass 10a individuals and congregations will leave the PC(USA)? We’re already losing people. I was out of the church for over 15 years. This issue was one reason. The judgment and control over others’ lives shown by the concentration on people’s bedroom behavior turned me away. I had decided that church was all about a small group of people trying to control a larger group of people. I’ve come back because my theology about people has changed. I see that all are sinners, that all are saints. I see the attempt to control others’ behavior as a part of their attempt to do what they believe God is calling them to do. But make no mistake – we’re losing people (particularly young people) because our concentration on controlling others’ behaviors rather than our own has painted us as judgmental and controlling. If those who feel the need to control others leave because they find themselves unable to do so, so be it. I will mourn their departure. But know that our inward focus and focus away from ourselves and on others (Matt. 7:1-5) is causing us to bleed our future. God calls us to be righteous in ourselves and to do God’s work in the world. God calls us to guide others. But I do not feel that God calls us to coerce others.
What should the Presbyterian Church focus on after Amendment 10a passes? My flip answer to this question is “Go have a beer together at the bar”. And I think that’s part of the answer. We need to put aside our disagreement on this issue and find commonality with those who disagree with us on one or two issues. I have always said that church fights should be like hockey fights – battle with all you’ve got for a few minutes, and then go have a beer together after the game and laugh about it. Then, when we’ve made some progress restoring our relationships, it’s time to face outward again. Mission should be our focus – both mission in the form of evangelism and mission in the form of helping others.
How does your understanding of Scripture frame your position on 10a? First, I am not yet a scriptural scholar. That will soon change to some degree. So I rely on others to do the heavy lifting in the areas of exegesis and translation. Today, I see Scripture as a document inspired by God which has been handled by humans and as a result is as imperfect as we are. We only need to look to the recent admission of intentional mis-translation of the Heidelberg Catechism to see how human beings likely have changed Scripture to suit their beliefs and motivations. Add to that a need to understand what the words meant to the authors, as opposed to what they mean to us today. That’s how I see Scripture. And it has framed my position on this issue – some folks just aren’t reading Scripture the way it was intended. The hard part is figuring out who (or which side) that is. That’s where we need the input of the Holy Spirit, and communal discernment. And I believe firmly in the statements that “men [sic] of good characters and principles may differ” (G-1.0305) and that “they [the Church as a body] may, notwithstanding, err, in making the terms of communion either too lax or too narrow” (G-1.0302). These are Scripturally-derived principles, and our Church and any other institution created by mankind is subject to them. I have no doubt that if you ask me in 3 1/2 years as I walk to graduate with an M.Div. degree that my answer will be different. This is how I see it today.
Trading Limbos
Filed under: Job Search, Life, Princeton Seminary, Religion, Seminary, Work
Sometime last week, I realized that I’ve traded one kind of limbo for a new kind. A better kind, from where I sit.
For the past 2 years while I’ve been out of work, I had a soul-crushing type of limbo. Any day I could get a response to a contact or job application inviting me to an interview. Any day could start the process of becoming employed again, in as soon as a few days to a few months. A number of times that process happened over the 2 years, but that was a very small part of that time and never resulted in ultimate success – a new job. The rest of the time I was left with the depressing, esteem-destroying time trying to make that happen. For most people there’s only one path out of that limbo, and it’s always the last path that you take. (That’s a lot like the truism that you always find your lost items in the last place you look. If not, then you’re wasting your time after you do find them.) Some folks get lucky and get the choice of two paths out of the unemployment limbo, but to me that looks more like two branches of the same last path.
I’ve taken an unusual path out of that limbo – the path of further education – made even more unusual by my future vocation. This is a riskier path and I likely wouldn’t be taking it except for a few unusual circumstances. First and foremost there is God’s call to ministry that I have discerned (and will continue to discern in the years ahead). Second, there are some things about my place in the world that are fortuitous (whether you credit God, good planning, or dumb luck) for this path. I live near one of the most prestigious Presbyterian seminaries (and I seem to be comfortable in the culture there). My wife has a very solid income that is big enough to support this. We were able to (and chose to) save severance and unemployment money. And we have chosen a lifestyle that doesn’t include the expenses that others need to plan for – mainly children and their futures.
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But it’s still limbo. I need to figure out what to do with the next 10 months. I would prefer to make some money by doing small church-related projects like Revive! (last spring’s justice revival, which employed me as a 15-hour-per-week project manager for a few months). I can make some money from my itty-bitty tiny computer consulting company. I could go to a temp agency and see what they’ve got. I’ve also got some time to work on myself, to try to continue the personal growth that the last 6 months has included (and the last 2 years, for that matter).
So I’ve exchanged one limbo for another. And I’m in a better place as a result. But the future is still not completely clear. But … part of my growth of late has been comfort with ambiguity. I’m feeling good about all of this.
Princeton Theological Seminary, here I come
Filed under: Candidate Process, Princeton Seminary, Religion, Seminary
So, Mark … anything new going on?
I’m so glad you asked.
I’M GOING TO SEMINARY!
Ok, let’s back up a bit.
A few months ago, I told you about my change in career and life direction. I’ve continued pursuing that direction. (If you follow that link, it backs up even farther) In late August I was enrolled as an Inquirer in my presbytery, confirmed by my presbytery in September.
I’m geographically bound (my wife has a job here that pays well enough for me do follow this path), so my choices for a Reformed seminary came down to two: Princeton Theological Seminary and New Brunswick Theological Seminary. Both are fine seminaries with different focuses. Princeton focuses exclusively on the full-time student who is able to complete their M.Div. degree in 3 years (4 for a dual degree). Princeton is a PC(USA) seminary, and is very academic. New Brunswick (a Reformed Church in America seminary) focuses on the part-time student (though some students attend full-time) and emphasizes the practical aspects of ministry, with a concentration on urban ministry. Princeton Seminary has an ivy-league-like setting surrounded on three sides by Princeton University, and has about 600 students at any given time, with about 475 of them in a Masters program. New Brunswick is in a mixed college/urban setting, surrounded on three sides by the Rutgers University College Avenue campus (where I earned my undergraduate degree in Computer Science). New Brunswick has smaller graduating classes of 50 or so. Princeton has some ethnic diversity, but New Brunswick is so diverse that it’s hard to call any ethnicity a majority. Both share about the same gender diversity. Theologically the student bodies are quite different. Princeton’s students are 50% Presbyterian, with the rest scattered among many denominations and non-denominational backgrounds. New Brunswick has few Presbyterian students (and not even a majority of Reformed students) with a very wide spread of denominations and non-denominational backgrounds. Both reside in my presbytery, and have connections to my Committee on Preparation for Ministry (CPM) and students from my presbytery. Princeton is a very residential school – nearly all students live on campus in either dorms or apartments. New Brunswick has very limited housing and most students commute (and many work full-time and study at night).
I visited New Brunswick last May during one of their open house events. I had time one evening to meet faculty, staff, current students and other prospective students. I was able to attend chapel, receive a tour of the campus (primarily the library), and attend a class. What I discovered was a very family-like atmosphere – it was clear to me that the faculty and staff truly care about their students as individuals. The class that I attended was professionally taught and intimate – about 30 students for a course that would have over 100 at Princeton. The main building is about the size of one of Princeton’s academic or administrative buildings, if not a little smaller. I felt that I could study there, but I also felt out of place demographically and theologically.
I have had MANY connections and experiences with Princeton Seminary. My church employs 4 seminary interns each year, and we have 3 Princeton students not “of the congregation” under care for their own journeys. I have attended events like the Institute for Youth Ministry Forum. On the advice of a friend, I audited a class at Princeton last spring. I have a large number of Twitter friends who are current Princeton students or alumni. A few church members and staff relatives are employed at the seminary. My presbytery work and the Revive! event last June brought me into contact with many other folks who fit all of those categories.
Last spring during the Youth Forums, and on days that I audited the class or had a Revive meeting on campus, I sat on the steps of Miller Chapel and tried to imagine myself as a Princeton student. It was a lot easier than I expected. Being there just felt right.
So I worked diligently on my application from August through the end of September. I wrote my long essay and the short answers that were requested by the application. I found friends who would write my references. In short – I treated the application project like any of my other projects and pursued it relentlessly and with a smidge of overkill. I submitted my application at the end of September. My last reference was received on October 22. I’d already had my interview on October 6, so my application was complete at that point.
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From October 20-22, Carolyn and I (she wanted to go) attended the Princeton Seminar – a three-day admissions event at the seminary. We had time to eat and meet with student hosts, faculty, staff and others. (The President, Iain Torrance joined Carolyn and I and our campus host for the first dinner – to our surprise and delight.) We were able to attend classes and hear presentations from different administrative departments. We ate at the campus dining facility – both private catered meals and along side the students. We were also given a walking tour of the campus.
Two different things stood out during the visit.
First, I was comfortable there. REALLY comfortable. So comfortable that I’ve only felt as free of anxiety in a few other places in my life – at my home with Carolyn or at Camp Johnsonburg. The morning before we left for the visit Carolyn asked me if I was nervous. I thought about it and answered (to my surprise), “No. I suppose I should be but I’m not.” I found the classes fascinating. I found the conversations stimulating. I found the presentations interesting. And throughout it all I had none of the nervousness that I’d expected to have – given that I was being evaluated even while I was doing the evaluating.
Second, I kept bumping into people that I already knew. Carolyn and I ran into my spiritual director in the first 10 minutes on campus. I met one twitter friend for the first time, and bumped into two others (literally bumped into in one case). I sat in a class taught by my CPM chair, with one student who is a member of my church. I ran into students from the class that I audited last spring. I ran into people who worked on Revive with me. I ran into people that I had only previously met at Camp Johnsonburg. In short – all of my church-related worlds collided during this one visit. It’s as if many, many, many of my church experiences intersected at a single point – at Princeton Seminary. Biggest of all for me was the sense that I got from my friends and prior contacts that they were happy to see me at Princeton. For an introvert like me, that is hugely important.
During the visit, I thought I’d heard the Director of Admissions mention that the Admissions Committee meets monthly, with a meeting “this Wednesday” – which I took to mean the day that our visit started. I assumed that I’d missed the deadline and would be waiting a least a month. The Wednesday after the visit I received a thin envelope from Admissions at PTS. After a moment’s panic I opened it only to read “Your application is now complete and we will begin processing it.” Heart-attack averted. On Friday, I e-mailed a Princeton staff member who is on the Admissions Committee about a church-related issue, and got back the reply “I hope we see you as a student at PTS next year!” I took that as a good sign.
This past Saturday, I received a thickish envelope from Admissions. I brought it inside to the kitchen where Carolyn was cooking. I casually tried to sort through the mail to make the pile of things I should open, and about halfway through the process just dropped the rest of the mail and tore open the envelope. “Congratulations! It is my great pleasure to inform you of the decision of our Admissions Committee. You have been accepted into candidacy …” and that’s as far as I got before I started jumping up and down like a six-year-old (scaring Carolyn and the cat). I immediately send a DM to one of my favorite friends who has served as native guide through the process, called my Session Liaison, and then tweeted the news.
This morning I spent some time in silent prayer about this decision. Both schools have pro and con attributes and arguments, but there is one clear direction.
Tomorrow, while I am at Princeton for the Institute of Youth Ministry Conference on Emerging Adulthood, I will stop by Admissions and drop off my Letter of Confirmation and deposit.
I will begin my Master of Divinity (M. Div.) program starting in the Fall Term of the 2011-2012 academic year, making me a member of the class of 2014 at Princeton Theological Seminary. Next September I will be a seminary student.
And I’m happy, nervous, and have this feeling of rightness about it. I believe God is in this decision, and all of the little interactions over a number of years that led up to it.
National Coming Out Day 2010 – I Am a Straight Supporter
Today is National Coming Out Day. It’s a rather bittersweet day this year, with a number of recent publicly announced suicides of teenage LGBT folks (and probably others we don’t know about). A few LGBTQ friends are coming out publicly this year, and numerous straight friends are coming out as allies.
I’ve been out about this for quite a long time. Over the past year my beliefs in this area have become more nuanced, but have not really changed. What has changed is the risk to me for making this statement. I’m now on the “becoming a minister” track in a denomination that doesn’t officially (or even clearly unofficially) support LGBTQ folks. So what you’ll read below is not new. It IS important for me to say, because while the risk to me is larger than it was a year ago, it’s tiny compared to what my LGBTQ friends risk in making their statements. I salute them for their courage and love them as their friend.
I’m old enough to have come of age (my teen years) in the late 70’s and early 80’s. Stereotypes about LGBTQ folks were rampant. And I didn’t know anyone who fit that label (at least not that was open to me) except for one cousin of my mother’s, who was different in other ways as well (most notably drug addiction). I was taught the stereotypes by my parents. In fact, I can remember being told by my parents very clearly that gays were dirty, promiscuous, and drug users. I remember it so clearly that I remember hearing it in the back of the station wagon, and even remember what intersection we were at.
Later I started getting involved in church work as a teen. I went to our denomination’s regional meetings, and to the every-three-years youth conference. At both I encountered Presbyterians for Lesbian and Gay Concerns (PLGC – the predecessor to More Light Presbyterians) at their exhibit booth. I quickly learned that gay folks were just like everybody else. This challenged and ultimately overturned my parents’ prejudices instilled in me. This would never have happened if it weren’t for LGBTQ folks who were already out of the closet publicly. At the same time, I was learning about how the church discriminated (and still discriminates) against them in ordination, marriage, and basic acceptance.
A few years later I had the opportunity to become the Presbynet (precursor to the Internet, roughly) Coordinator for PLGC. I served in that role as a straight supportive person for about 6 years. Unfortunately that relationship came to an end in tension. My beliefs survived unchanged, but I am no longer a part of an organization around these issues.
Many straight folks who are supportive are using the term “straight ally” today to describe themselves. A good friend has convinced me that the term “ally” is fraught with confusion and inaccuracy. An alliance is an agreement between parties for mutual support. Nobody can call themselves an ally unilaterally. The LGBTQQI2S community has no central structure that could possibly bestow “ally” status on me. So I use the term “supporter” instead. Inside my head it’s more or less the same thing – I know what I believe, I feel the call to fix the problems that this division and discrimination cause, and I see my straight privilege (well, I see the privilege better than most and better than I used to).
So here it is:
I am a straight white married man
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I am an Inquirer in the PC(USA), and I’m currently applying for admission to seminaries
I believe in fully equal civil rights for the LGBTQ community, including the right to marry
I believe in fully equal ordination rights for LGBTQ people within the PC(USA)
I believe in fully equal marriage rights for LGBTQ people within the PC(USA), for those who choose marriage
I reject the different treatment of anyone based on who they choose to love, so long as they are in right relationship to their beloveds.
In particular, I want anyone (particularly young people) who feels that they need to end their life to alleviate the pain caused by bullying or other poor treatment based on their sexuality to know that I am there for you. Send me an e-mail. If you have my number, call me day or night. Or call 911 or the Gay and Lesbian National Hotline 1-888-THE-GLHN (1-888-843-4564). You are worthy of our time and love. Give us a chance to show you.
* I use the term LGBTQ because typing “Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transsexual, Transgendered, Intersexual, Queer, Questioning and Two Spirit” repeatedly is really hard on the fingers. Please assume the longer definition.
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