Getting Involved at church

November 7, 2006 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Church New Member Process, Religion 

This week I have a homework assignment from New Member Class.  I have to check off a list of activities that the church does that interest me.  I also need to answer two questions:  What do I expect to get out of Lawrenceville Presbyterian, and what do I expect to give to Lawrenceville Presbyterian?

I’m a rather strong introvert.  It’s not always easy to detect – I tend to speak of myself as a “loud introvert”, someone who can keep up a facade that makes me appear more outgoing.  As you may or may not know, introverts draw their energy from a different type of activity than extroverts (aside from eating and sleeping, of course).  Extroverts go into social situations and actually draw energy from the room.  Introverts on the other hand need solitude or a small group of close friends to create energy.  Introverts can actually feel the energy draining from them in a large social setting like a party.  Extroverts may go home charged up – introverts tend to go home exhausted.  This is a big generalization, but still true.

So how does this relate to new church members (and me in particular)?  I speak from my own experience.

I have to work hard to feel comfortable in a setting like the usual Fellowship Hour after church.  I’m fairly comfortable in church – I’m there as part of a mostly anonymous crowd and only interact personally with those sitting around me, and even then only for the passing of the peace.  But put me in a room and I’m lost.  I end up a single individual wandering around the room without talking to someone, or even standing on the side.  I will talk to those that I know, but I’m fairly unlikely to walk up to someone and introduce myself.

On the other hand, in a known group and particularly a small group, I’m fairly comfortable.  On a committee, in a small study group, as part of a team – I’m comfortable.  I know my place.  It’s even more comfortable when I’m part of a group working towards a goal – putting together a special service, running a youth activity, serving on a committee, or even just bean-counting.  In fact, that’s the best way for me to meet people – to work with them towards a common goal.

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So the hard part is getting that bootstrap job in an organization.  I feel like I need to be invited to participate in that first activity, and if it’s not joining an organized group but is more like an open activity I need to be dragged along.  Once I’ve done something with people, I will know them and be more open to fully voluntary participation in the next thing.  It’s just getting into that first thing that’s so hard.

The one exception to this rule is Camp Johnsonburg.  This camp is the one place on the planet (no hyperbole here) where I have felt totally accepted for being authentically ME outside of my marriage.  Camp Johnsonburg works hard to create that acceptance and even celebration of each of us – it’s probably the 2nd or 3rd core value of the camp.  I go there, smell the unique combination of plants in the air, and feel at home immediately.  The tension in my body drops dramatically nearly instantly.  I am ME, and people like me for being me.  There’s nothing more powerful than hearing “We’re glad that you came” and knowing that they really meant it.  That they didn’t mean “We’re glad that you brought your money” or “We’re glad that you brought your skills” or even “We’re glad that you added one to the headcount”.  We’re glad that you came – that you are who you are and that you are sharing it with us.  That’s powerful.  That’s a core of my theology – that all people are good to God to some degree or in some way unique to them.

As I re-read what I wrote above, I realize that camp isn’t really the only such time.  There have been a few more.  Serving as a YAD to Synod was like that.  More recently, meeting with Jill, Nolan and Rick about Lawrenceville Presbyterian was like that – I felt at ease in the first few minutes.  It might not have been on my checklist, but it was a huge factor in choosing a church.

So what does this mean when joining a church?  I need to be pulled in.  Please pull me in.  You won’t be disappointed.  I know that I have skills that can be put to good use, and I’ll give you a list on that piece of paper you asked me to fill out.  I just need a little tug to get out of my shell.