Blogging and MY local congregation
It’s been a few days since I posted the question about blogging and the local congregation. I’m still mulling over the question. I can’t seem to let it go – blogging is reflective of several major parts of my personality (the top 3 on my Goals for How to Live My Life), and I’m entering a new phase of my relationship with the congregation (though it will probably look a lot like the current phase). This question/problem is gnawing at me.
This post is kinda stream of consciousness. Please keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle, pull back on the bar until you hear the click, and hang on.
So far, the comments on blogging about one’s congregation (and the comments, concerns and complaints received offline) fall into a few categories:
- Be who you are. You’re good enough, and people will always pick on what they don’t like. (With a tiny bit of “what’s wrong with them?!?”)
- You should never write anything negative about your congregation. If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything.
- It might make things more difficult for you (and usually for the speaker) if someone in the congregation gets upset about what you write.
- You need to be sure you’re willing to take the consequences that come with writing about the congregation.
- You should always discuss any criticisms with the subject person first.
Surprisingly, nobody is talking about the upsides that I see of a person blogging about their congregation, positive or negative.
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- For positive posts, a potential member/attendee sees good things about the congregation. Pictures make an even greater impact.
- For positive posts, having individual feedback on the congregation can be more effective than the “insider” church website. Today’s seekers take individual reviews of a product, place, or service more seriously than the “advertising” of the “seller”.
- For positive or negative posts, the leadership gets a chance to “read the mind” of the blogger. (Of course, the good blogger knows this …)
- For negative posts, the blogger may provide early warning of a problem within the congregation.
There are a few other conclusions to draw from this stream of posts and comments. It seems to me that my fellow bloggers see me differently than the folks from my congregation. Some of that has to do with the fact that each side sees me in a different forum – the folks at the church see me in person and the folks online see me only through my writing (more rarely in person). It feels like the folks from my congregation see me as a nice guy, a little strange, and I have this annoying habit of blogging. The folks online seem to see me as a thoughtful writer, measured in criticism, sometimes prophetic, and sometimes a bit of a loose cannon. It really does feel like the folks online understand me better than most in my congregation – the online community has a level of activity and intimacy that is missing in the church model of one to a few times a week interacting in groups.
I’ll be honest – all of this feels a bit like a personal attack to me. What I’m hearing is “we really like your gifts, but we don’t like the way you’re using this one.” What I’m feeling is “we want you to be yourself, but not this part of you.”
All of this has me tending toward a decision never to blog about my congregation – good or bad. There are side-effects of that decision. This will likely decrease my feeling of being connected to the congregation. This will likely increase my feeling of being an outsider in the congregation. It probably won’t hurt my faith, though it will be something of putting at least part of my light under a basket. This will also reduce my ability to ask others for help with issues that come up through my work in the congregation.
Blogging only the good is not an option for me. There is no way that my psyche would allow it. I’m a person with a scientific mind – unchallenged ideas are of little value.
I haven’t made a decision yet, and I value your feedback on it. I particularly value the feedback of people from my congregation – either here on the blog, in e-mail, or in person.
Uncomfortable
Now I’ve gone from itchy to uncomfortable.
Enthusiasm for God: high
Enthusiasm for His followers: low
The Presbyterian bloggers have been at each others’ throats this past week or two. As always, there are still two camps: progressives and conservatives. The progressives are willing to (for the most part) allow conservatives to co-exist with them, but they are not willing to allow exclusion based on conservative criteria. The conservatives see themselves as the last bastion of the True Faith and are unwilling to bend in their defense of only people who follow their rules being ordained.
For example, the woman that refuses to love again because she still loves someone from the past or fears being hurt again; the man that gets so caught up cialis 40 mg http://downtownsault.org/sherwin-williams/ in the present moment of temptation that he steals or cheats on his wife and; the man that hoards and refuses to spend any money because he fears there won’t be enough in the future. Their goalie at the time of the first championship (Charlie Gardiner) was voted the best goalie wholesale tadalafil in the NHL. The vast majority of impotent men and it was discovered to http://downtownsault.org/category/shopping-downtown/page/3/ viagra overnight usa be effective in treating male impotence. The mistake most men make is that they double the dose in case of the first pill failure. http://downtownsault.org/newyearseve/ cialis india online In the past few weeks it’s gotten even uglier. Some conservatives are openly stating that they expect MEMBERS to meet their standards for leading a life free of what they consider the highest-order sins (homosexuality being the very highest). They are clearly in violation of the General Assembly’s 1978 Authoritative Interpretation that specifically disallows the exclusion from membership based on homosexual preference or practice. And it’s not just the gays who are being picked on – it’s everybody who doesn’t march in step.
It’s only going to get uglier. It’s clearer than ever that the evangelicals are going to accept nothing less than a denomination where their beliefs are dominant and where heresy trials are the rule rather than the extreme exception. The progressives are looking for a big tent. These are fundamentally incompatible positions.
This affects me personally. My enthusiasm for my own local church work is waning. I’m at the point where I’m seriously leaning towards taking Sunday off this week just to see what having a lazy Sunday was like. Last year I was trying to figure out whether or not I could stand a life that included organized religion. Now I’m wondering if I should go back.
Oh, I’ll probably go to church on Sunday. And I’ll lead my little committee. And I’ll work with the youth group. Just please understand why my enthusiasm is absent for a while.
Feeling a little itchy
I’m feeling a bit emotionally/spiritually itchy. You know – not quite comfortable. I suppose it’s a bit like the ailment of the month – Restless Legs Syndrome. Something is not quite right but not such a problem that it’s acute pain.
More on that in a minute. First an update.
Camp went well on Sunday. This was a really rough week for check in. There were 21 units, and something like 225 kids to check in. The Leadership Training Program (for the oldtimers – that’s Counselor-in-Training) participants were all going into units for the week, so they weren’t available to help out. With that many units, all available staff were going in unit. Volunteers were all pressed into service. I trained my wife Carolyn to be my assistant, and gave her all of the Elementary (grades 1-5 this fall) and Junior (grades 6-7 this fall) units. I took the Jr. High and Sr. Highs. First rule of check-in – the little kids show up first. Carolyn quickly got behind and I found myself with free time. My campers all came later. I finally ended up taking the Juniors from her in order to get us finished. She kept asking if she was being too slow but the truth is that it was just a really rough week. We had to hand out paperwork to the counselors and age-group directors at dinner after cross-checking the medical information against the nurses and medications received. We finished 5 minutes before dinner and walked in just after grace. Whew!
Last night I helped out at church. For August we’re doing Movie Night on Tuesdays for the Jr. High and Sr. High youth groups combined. It’s really simple – there is a different PG movie each night with a message and a few questions to discuss at the end. Last night we got 2 kids. This was not entirely unexpected – I had checked in 6-8 of the regulars at camp two days earlier. The movie was Pride – the story of the 1974 Philadelphia Department of Recreation swim team that was built out of an abandoned rec. center and went on to win the regionals. Nice evening.
Also this week I’ve been making the rounds of blogs. This week the Presbyterian blogging community (or at least some corners of it) are fighting again. The question this week is whether or not the denomination can abide people who push the boundaries of Presbyterian belief (if you’re a progressive) or are heretics (if you’re a conservative). The question is to what degree is each of us responsible for disciplining these people. The conservatives are making noise about how they can’t stand to be part of a denomination that includes these folks. The progressives question back – “Why aren’t you filing charges? Oh yeah, you only file charges against gays.” It’s all very ugly.
This led me to go back to foundations. One blogger made the statement that we are all collectively responsible for the pastoral care and discipline of people who stray from the essential tenets. I went back to the Book of Order (having determined that going back to Scripture is pointless in these disputes – any given verse has different meanings depending on who you talk to) and sure enough, there it is:
That our blessed Savior, for the edification of the visible Church, which is his body, hath appointed officers, not only to preach the gospel and administer the Sacraments, but also to exercise discipline, for the preservation of both truth and duty; and that it is incumbent upon these officers, and upon the whole Church, in whose name they act, to censure or cast out the erroneous and scandalous, observing, in all cases, the rules contained in the Word of God. (G-1.0303)
Yikes. I’m one of those officers, as a deacon (though I suspect the author of these words was thinking of elders and Ministers of the Word and Sacrament). I’m supposed to censure or cast out the erroneous! I AM the erroneous to some extent.
In addition, if the girl says she has a boyfriend at the very purchase generic levitra start of the conversation this could be a pump composed on account of erectile organ development with extra edges. Nevertheless, there are ways to determine if levitra generika http://downtownsault.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/06-14-17-DDA-MINUTES.pdf the results are satisfying enough. The patent might terminate in 2018 but that’s just viagra for women australia unless it’s extended further more, which is definitely possibly considerably more than simply very likely. There are herbal supplements, herbal vitamins, herbal weight loss pills, as well as herbal canada tadalafil . My beliefs are that faith is intensely personal. Each person is responsible for his or her own faith. Ministers are only responsible for our faith up to the point where they educate us on what they believe Scripture is saying and what they believe to be true. From there it’s up to us. We as members are responsible for listening, thinking, praying, and building our own faith. The Presbyterian denomination has always been a thinking denomination – we don’t assume that we are ministering to people who need to be led by the nose.
If you read the BOO passage above and the comments of my fellow bloggers, we are each responsible for applying the disciplinary system of our denomination to anyone who strays from the essentials of our faith (which we can’t agree on either, and I prefer it open-ended that way). According to these same bloggers, failure to take such action amounts to an endorsement of the other person’s ideas. That seems to be the justification used by those who are filing heresy complaints against people across the country that they’ve never met.
This is what’s making me itchy. I’m pretty uncomfortable being in a position where I’m responsible for the beliefs of ANY Presbyterian. I’m also uncomfortable that if I say the wrong thing my Session may get complaints about me.
I’m also profoundly bothered by the natural conclusion. This says that our officers are responsible for controlling our behaviors and beliefs. If you remember things I’ve written earlier, I left the church 20 years after I concluded that church was all about a small group of people controlling the beliefs and actions of a larger group of people. This seems to confirm that – the church really IS all about control of one group by another. Please note that I’m completely comfortable with God’s control – it’s the control of my peers that bothers me (particularly when a number of them want me to believe and do the exact opposite of what I feel God is calling me to do).
I’m also a little itchy in that I’m not sure that I’m “good enough” for the church work that I’ve been asked to do. I watched our seminary student intern last night working with the youth and he seemed so comfortable. I’m still feeling my way around (not literally – that would get me in trouble!) with youth work and I’m not completely comfortable leading. I’m pretty good with being the second or third or fourth banana, but not the main guy. Thankfully I’m not expected to be one at the moment. This in turn leads me into a spiral where I wonder if I’m even competent to lead the committee that I’m leading. These worries aren’t paralyzing me, just making me spiritually and emotionally “itchy”.
The Lighter Side
I just got an e-mail from a co-worker that read “Sorry for the incontinence.” It appears that if you misspell “inconvenience” in a certain way, Microsoft Outlook gives you “incontinence” as the first choice in spell check.
Another Roundup
I’d like to apologize to my readers for the lack of deeply thoughtful articles of late. Life and work are a bit busy at the moment and I only have time for these roundups.
Work
I’m on the old laptop, reloaded from scratch. I’ve been told today that I’m getting a new one in the next few weeks. Given that this one was nearly top of the line when we bought it in 2000 or 2001 – it’s time. Company culture issues aren’t touching me as much as they had been a while back. One of the “problem children” has resigned and another in a different state has been told that her job is moving to my location by spring and her department reorganized. Given that and a few other things I can’t mention here it’s unlikely that she’ll be here by then. It’s unfortunate when people lose their jobs, but in some cases it’s necessary – anybody who consistently and willfully provides negative productivity (not only are they not productive, they make others less productive) needs to go.
Church
I had a good meeting with with the Youth and Young Adult council this week. We’re getting ready for the new year. We talked a lot about the philosophy of how we lead/schedule the group and some possible changes. The one thing that was a common thread was consistency – that each weekly meeting follow the same pattern and that we choose simple and meaningful as opposed to trying to do a major production each week. This follows the trend in Youth Ministry nationally to move away from the “let’s bring in new converts” blockbuster events of the 80’s and 90’s and for most the over-30 crowd in the council represents a step back to what they experienced as a youth. We’re also talking about changing the names of the groups. Right now they are CHAOS (Christians Hanging Around On Sunday) for the Senior Highs and WILDLIFE (which is an acronym nobody can remember off the top of their heads) for the Junior Highs. The youth director wants to de-emphasize the chaotic aspects of the names and I agree. We’re going to see what the youth want early this fall.
The youth director also asked me if I wanted to help lead the Confirmation Class. This year is the first year doing the class for 9th grade youth (it had been 8th grade, and last year there was no class due to the switch). I’m honored to be asked, a little uncertain about my ability and the strength of my faith being sufficient, and probably nearly overbooked already. The Welcome and Outreach Task Force is about to get started, I’ll still be working with the Senior Highs weekly and attending the YAYA council once a month, and the confirmation class is every other week for 8 months plus 3 weekend retreats (one just overnight). I’ve asked the youth director to lay out time expectations, and perhaps I can be a guest speaker on topics that I know well (polity would be one, and I’m sure that there are a few others).
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The Lawrenceville church and a Princeton church (I think it’s Nassau Presbyterian) are putting together a new young adult event called Theology On Tap. It’s the 2nd Thursday of each month (starting September) in the Yankee Doodle Tap Room of the Nassau Inn in Princeton at 8pm. The idea is for 20’s/30’s somethings to get together and share a drink (alcohol optional), fellowship, and talk about theology. You can find more information HERE, or in the Theolodoodle group on Facebook. I barely qualify by age, but it’s intriguing enough to me that I’ll probably attend at least the first session.
The youth director also told me a freaky coincidence story. He was at Triennium 2 weeks ago, sitting with a woman minister friend of his. She was working on a sermon. On the table she had laid out a Bible, some books, a few printed e-mails, and one printed blog post. My director asked, “Can I look at that?” and picked up the blog post. You’ve probably guessed by now – it was one of mine (either from here or a comment elsewhere). He started laughing and when she asked why he explained: “This is one of my adult advisors.” Since Triennium was attended by youth from all over the world, he claims that I’m now internationally famous! Somehow I doubt that, but I’m glad that folks are finding worth in my ramblings.
Life
All is well, but we’re so busy with other people’s events (family, camp, church) that we’re neglecting work around the house. The outdoor trim needs to be painted, the garden needs weeding badly, and the driveway needs to be sealed. We need to decide whether or not to pay someone to do some of these things (we can afford to) or to stop our commitments and just get it done.
We also need to be sure that we get some downtime.
Are We Even in the Same Ballpark?
Today, Toby Brown of Texas posted a blog entry that I find very disturbing.
He handles two different situations.
First, the Rev. Janet Edwards of Pittsburgh Presbytery held a marriage ceremony between two lesbians in September of 2005. She was subsequently charged with performing a same-sex union by members of her presbytery. The presbytery investigated and filed charges to be tried. She was prepared for a trial, but the presbytery judicial commission dismissed the charges on the basis of being filed 5 days too late. The conservative side cried foul and claimed that there was a setup to make sure the charges were late, but others state that the delay was accidental.
Now, Rev. Brown from Texas has decided to join a group of ministers (presumably from all over the country) to file new charges against her. What those charges will be is unclear, but it seems that they will involve charges that she violated her ordination vows.
Sound like double-jeopardy to you? Yeah, me too. I’m sure that Rev. Edwards is ready for the trial, though.
This all flies in the face of the Definitive Guidance passed last summer in response to the Peace, Unity and Purity report from the last General Assembly meeting, in which presbyteries and session were exhorted to “outdo each other in trust”. Our system is in danger of ceasing to be a church and turning into a bad TV lawyer show if ministers from all over the country are filing charges against other ministers who aren’t in the same presbytery, or even the same synod. Such charges should be local, filed by people who are familiar with the details of the event and the people involved.
Rev. Brown’s second assertion is that any wedding that includes Christian elements and non-Christian elements should not take place. His specific reference is again to Rev. Edwards’ gay wedding, where one of the women was Buddhist. Rev. Edwards did what many ministers of all denominations (including Catholic) do all the time – they marry people of their faith to people of another faith. Often the ceremonies include elements from both traditions to make each family comfortable – the alternative being two ceremonies (which also happens).
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I am a product of a mixed marriage though not one that Rev. Brown would complain about – my wife is Catholic. I was married in a Catholic mass (not just a ceremony – a full mass with Eucharist, though I did not partake). The priest who married us told us about a wedding that he had performed between a Catholic and a Buddhist. He stated that he was very clear to the participants about the issues that a mixed marriage can create, particularly if children are involved.
What bothers me most is the idea that Presbyterians are so strict that they cannot abide reaching out to people of other faiths. This is an issue of hospitality. If I had a Muslim visitor to my home, I would have no trouble if that person felt the need to get up at a certain hour and pray (as long as they were kind enough to try not to wake the rest of us). Shoot, I can see Muslims in a Presbyterian church facing Mecca. My own church houses a Jewish congregation on Saturdays, and has done so for decades.
Apparently, this is too much for Rev. Brown. He expects that in his house, his rules will be followed (note the lowercase h). And his definition of which houses are his seems to include all PC(USA) churches.
This leads me to wonder if I have unequally yoked myself with Presbyterians such as Rev. Brown. (Personally, I interpret that passage to be more about morals than about religious practices, but Rev. Brown specifically mentions it in his blog post comments.) I believe that it is a sin NOT to respect and honor the religious practices of others. We might not choose them for ourselves or recommend them to others, but we should respect the choice of the person involved. And when we put two people together in marriage, I would much rather recognize two religious traditions in one ceremony than drive one or the other person away from their faith.
So that leaves the question – did I make a mistake joining a denomination that has a significant number of leaders who hold such a different belief about people of other religions? Did I make a mistake joining a denomination that has a signficant number of leaders who view respecting other religions as sin?
Let me know what you think. I really am wondering whether my new Presbyterian membership is a mistake.
Blogger’s House Burns Down
Jay McCarthy writes about how his house burned down Sunday morning after being struck by lightning.
There was originally a movement to give him money, but in his latest post he tells us thanks, but he really doesn’t need it – he’s covered by insurance and already has an empty grandparent’s house to move to.
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Blogging from your backyard while your house burns has to be a first!
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