Montreat Youth Conference, part 2

August 5, 2008 by · 1 Comment
Filed under: Religion, Youth 

The Montreat trip was absolutely wonderful.  Amazing.  Transformational.  Fun.  There are so many reasons.

We started out by driving 9 hours to Greensboro.  Our youth director used to be the youth director at First Presbyterian Church of Greensboro, NC.  We stayed overnight in their youth room (VERY NICE, and with lots of comfy couches and other things to sleep on).  In the evening Saturday we were treated to dinner by our youth director’s in-laws at their beautiful home (not to mention entertained by the dog).

In the morning, we were treated to a tour of this VERY large church (new members have a class on how not to get lost) and breakfast.  We then attended worship.  I found lots of useful information on how they work with visitors that will be useful for my committee.

Then we went to lunch at Fincastle’s Diner and headed for Montreat.

In Montreat we stayed at First House, a private home owned by the Greensboro church that is rented out to groups staying in Montreat.  It was a nice house and suited our needs very well.

Sunday evening, the program began with a welcome session at Anderson Auditorium and Recreation outside.

The program continued with keynote in the morning, small group once or twice, and worship in the evening.  Friday night’s worship was capped by people with candles all the way around Lake Susan two deep – it was so pretty.

Then we drove home 12 hours.  Ooof.

The youth from my church could not possibly have been a better group, or worked together better.  They were ready to go on time every time (sometimes earlier).  They voluntarily pitched in and helped with chores, often before being asked.  They supported each other emotionally and clued in the adults later – leaving the adults free to handle the big stuff (or their own stuff).  Everybody got along well aside from the minor frictions caused by 14 people spending a lot of time together.  I could not ask for a better group.  These 10 youth are now permanently on my list of favorite people.

I feel the same way about my small group.  There were 26 participants (3 adults and 23 youth) plus our small group leader.  I liked everybody in the group.  Think about that.  26 other people, and not one of them was even the slightest bit bothersome or annoying.  This is amazing.  The conversations were deep and meaningful, the games were hysterical and fun (I “won” Big Booty), and I was truly impressed by what other people said.  I hope that I have made one or two or a few friends for life from that group.  I know that I truly love and care for all 26.  Our small group leader was a newbie – having just turned 21 (we couldn’t believe that – he is mature beyond his years) – and he hit the ball out of the park.

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  1. It was HOT most of the week.  The week redefined the concept of sweat for me.  However, I didn’t really mind.  It was cool enough in the evening to sleep and the small group room was air conditioned.
  2. The keynote team did a great job.  We’ll probably use at least one part for our confirmation class.  The concepts that they discussed were well reflected in small group and worship.
  3. The worship was especially meaningful for me (particularly Monday and Friday).  Michelle Thomas-Bush did a good job.
  4. Music was fun, and included some songs that I really enjoyed.  One in particular was very meaningful for me.  Jorge Gonzales was the music leader, and was joined for a lot of the week by Wallness from Haiti (who knew our youth director from when Wallness was a youth in Haiti).
  5. Recreation was well done.  I didn’t get involved in most of the “optional” recreational activities though I did enjoy watching them.  The first night recreation was where I met one of those “friends for life” that I mentioned above.
  6. The site is gorgeous.  Hilly to be sure (I seem to have lost 5 pounds, and moved some of my remaining weight away from my waist), but beautiful.
  7. Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream and Raspberry Sorbet make a great combination.  The boundary layer is to die for.
  8. When we went to Asheville NC on our free afternoon, I bought the first pair of sandals that I’ve ever owned in my adult life.  I am now fully qualified for youth ministry.  (There is no need to tell me not to wear socks with them – others have done that already.)
  9. I went swimming.  Unfortunately, I was rock-hopping at the time.  I went into the water and completely soaked myself.  I also completely soaked my backpack.  The electronics all survived, but I need a new Bible and a replacement for the hardcover book that was in the backpack.  I also had some nasty scrapes.  My youth were perfect in that they refused to let me walk back to the house alone – they insisted on accompanying me and carrying my backpack.
  10. My co-workers actually said I seemed relaxed when I got back to work yesterday.  No, really!
  11. You can’t imagine how fun it is to do energizers with a bunch of youth every day.  Adult silliness should be mandatory.
  12. One of the adults in my church group has the uncanny ability to sing harmony with any piece, even if she hasn’t heard it before.  It was beautiful.
  13. I had lots of deep one-on-one conversations with my youth.  This started the first night and I think it’s continuing now.  They impress me with how seriously they take their lives and how thoughtful they are of others.  There is unexpected depth here.
  14. Every group needs at least one unabashedly sunny morning person.
  15. See this post for the most strange and wonderful part of the week for me.
  16. The Jesus in Me loves the Jesus in You.  ‘Nuff said.

I’ve already written in another post about my personal transformation.  I’d like to add to that some confidence in doing youth ministry.  I’m now wondering how to make my job better aligned with my faith and personal ideas about life.  Or find one that is.  I don’t feel a call to ministry (though several others talked about this after this week).  I just feel like I’m not where I should be.

If you are a youth, or you work with youth, you should really consider going to a Montreat Youth Conference.  Groups can be as small as 2 or 3, or very large (I’ve heard of the neighborhood of 50).  Yes, it’s a little scary going to a new place and doing “Jesus stuff” for a week, but it’s really worth it.  My nervousness was wholly unnecessary.

I’d like to thank Rich, Mary Alice, Sara, Gingles, Michelle, Jorge, Wallness, Bill, Aimee, David, and so many others who made my week probably one of the top 10 experiences in my life.

Montreat Youth Conference, part 1

August 5, 2008 by · 5 Comments
Filed under: Religion, Youth 

Last week I went to the Montreat Youth Conference as an adult advisor for my church’s youth group.  During the trip, I had an experience that was … well … let me just describe it.

First, a little background.  I’ve written before about my experiences with the church and my departure from the church almost 20 years ago.  If you don’t want to read that, here’s a summary:  very involved as a youth (deacon, Synod YAD, church camp), in college a few things happened and I left the church completely.  I began searching for a congregation related to my return to church just about 3 years ago this month, and joined my current congregation later that fall.  I’m currently serving as a youth advisor for the Sr. High youth group, co-chairing a committee, and I’m about to start serving as a deacon again.

During Monday night’s worship at Montreat, the song “Here I Am, Lord” was sung.  This song was very popular at Camp Johnsonburg when I was working there, and I was happy to sing it again.

Around about the 2nd verse, I started getting very emotional and tearing up.  Around about the 3rd verse, I started to get a picture in my head – one that I can’t claim came from me.

The picture showed something of a timeline.  Over on the left side, there was a dark black line that represented my religious involvement of the past – from about age 13 to age 19.  On the right side, there was another shorter dark black line that represented my religious involvement of the past few years.  There was a big blank space in between.  As we sang, I saw the picture of a jumper wire (almost like a car’s jumper cable, but more like something used in electronics work) connecting the two lines.  I have been considering my religious life of the past to be different from the present.  I believe that the message here is that they are part of a single whole and remain connected.

So I was standing there, singing, tears in my eyes, and a picture in my head that I didn’t put there.

In my mind, this was a full-on Religious Experience.  Maybe even a Vision.  I mean … if there had been a shaft of sunlight and Baptist dancers flying through the air I’d be a Blues Brother now.  It was a really weird experience.

I’ve been skeptical of those who claim to have visions or have other divinely-inspired events in their lives.  Not anymore.  I think I get it now.  A later discussion with a family member produced that person’s story of a similar experience.

At the time that this happened, I had no idea what it meant.  I’m still not sure that I do.
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The first thing that I did was ask my youth director to join me at The Huck for some ice cream so that I could talk about this (and another youth joined us for “Introvert Time”).  On the way we met Jorge Gonzales who was doing music for the week and I got a chance to thank him.

Later in the week I might have gotten some idea of the meaning behind this.

All youth and adults participating in small groups were assigned to a Small Group of about 30 people.  Those groups were broken down into smaller “Threshold” groups of about 6.  I got an opportunity to talk about this experience with my Threshold Group, but due to time constraints I barely got through the story before we had to move onto something else.

The theme for the week was “Throw Open the Doors”.  There were door metaphors tossed around during all activities.  On Friday (the last day of the conference), our Small Group leader asked “what doors have opened for you this week?”  I had a few ideas in my head, and the one that I chose was:  Don’t let the experiences of the past (meaning negative ones) color your view of your experiences of the present.  When I said that the Small Group said things like, “Dude.  That’s not just a door – that’s like a big gate or something.”

Later that evening we had the closing worship.  The preacher was Michelle Thomas-Bush (who I met through this blog).  She told a story about her 20th high school reunion.  At the reunion she met a man who had been in school with her.  He explained that he couldn’t remember anything about his high school experience at all.  He was being abused by his parents at the time, and all of his memories of that period are one big black mess.  He came to the reunion in order to rediscover his high school memories.  He was the life of the party, talked to everybody, and learned a few things.  At the end of the evening he talked to Michelle again.  She asked him if he’d learned anything.  He reported a few memories of good times and stupid high school tricks, but his main message was that this night was his New High School Memory.

Sound familiar?  Yeah, I thought so too.

I’m still working on how to apply these revelations to my life, though the implications for my church life are pretty obvious.  Back in December, I wrote this about how those once hurt by the church may keep looking over their shoulder for trouble to come again.  I think that part of the message is clear – stop looking over your shoulder.  We’ll see.  Being a Christian is hard.

As for the rest, that is not quite apparent yet.  More in the next post on the conference.

OH. Hmmm.

July 23, 2008 by · 5 Comments
Filed under: Religion, Youth 

This weekend, I’m off with 3 other adults, 2 college students, and something like 8 or so high school youth to the Montreat Youth Conference (week VI) at the Montreat Conference Center in (you guessed it) Montreat, NC.

I’ve been a little nervous about this trip.  So much so that I think I’m annoying our youth director with questions, which he is patiently answering.  I don’t have any good reason to be nervous.  I trust the youth director and the other adults going on the trip.  The college students and youth going on the trip are great and I expect fewer than average problems with them or their behavior (as compared to what I read on Youth Ministry websites).  I’ve heard nothing but good things about the place and the conference from a large number of people.

I’ve been telling myself that the reason that I’m nervous is that the last time I went to a church youth conference was the Youth Triennium in 1986 – when I WAS a youth.  That I was just worried about whether the 40-year-old air-conditioning-loving, out-of-shape, used-to-sleeping-in-his-own-room me could keep up.

While shaving this morning it hit me.

Triennium wasn’t the last time I went to a church youth conference.

Several months after Triennium, I went to a weekend retreat sponsored by some of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship’s NJ chapters.  Here’s what I wrote about that previously:

Back in 1986, I was a freshman at Rutgers University.  On the first day, I was wandering around campus looking at the booths that various student organizations had set up.  One of them near the Busch Student Center was for the InterVarsity Christian Fellowship.  They were giving away ice cream.  I figured that as a rather religious person (at this point I was already a deacon and serving on two Synod committees) I should take a look and find a campus christian fellowship.  The local Campus Crusade for Christ seemed too fundamentalist for me, so I tried out InterVarsity.

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In October I took a retreat with them for a weekend in the woods.  It turned out to be a very cult-like situation for me.  The 48-hour retreat turned out to be (as experienced by me) 24 hours of telling me
how terrible my beliefs are, and then once I stopped fighting them, 24 hours of pouring in their own beliefs.  As expected, those beliefs were strongly conservative.

Fortunately, my personality turned out to be strong enough to resist such tactics.  I made the right noises and they stopped treating me as the “resisting” attendee and moved on to other people.  Once I returned to campus, I never went back to their group again.  And as I wrote before, this was the first step in my turn away from the church

This hit me like a ton of bricks today.  My last experience traveling away with youth to a place foreign to me was a negative one.  While I’ve done some overnights with the youth in the past year, those were either at the church or at Camp Johnsonburg where I felt very comfortable and always knew that I had the ability to leave (since it was at home or I was driving my vehicle).  I wasn’t miles away from home without control over my movements.

Having realized what has been going on in my head, I feel much more comfortable now.  I’m shifting rapidly from nervous to excited.  This is going to be fun!

It’s amazing how things from your past can influence the way you perceive the present.  Not a new lesson for me (by a long shot), but a newly reinforced lesson.

If you or anybody you know will be at Montreat for 7/27-8/1, leave a comment or send an e-mail.  I’d love to say Hi.

What’s going on

July 18, 2008 by · 1 Comment
Filed under: Ham Radio, Life, Religion, Youth 

My blog has been quiet, and light on what’s going on in my life.  Most of that is due to the Sword of Damocles question about what I should write here.  (By the way, more input is desired in the Bible Study on blogging.)

Here’s a short roundup of what’s been happening and what is going to be happening.

  • Car Accident – This happened back on June 20.  As I said before – minor damage and no injuries.  My car has been repaired.  I’m apparently at the beginning of the subrogation process – my insurance company has decided that I’m not at fault and has submitted a claim to the other driver’s company.  The other driver got a ticket for Careless Driving, so it should be an easy decision in my favor.
  • DirecTV – I have two DirecTV DVRs.  One of them developed hard drive problems and was randomly rebooting.  That has since been replaced for what amounts to Free.  It was just a pain, but much less of a pain than expected.
  • Deacon – I perform my first deacon duty this weekend.  I’ll be putting juice and iced tea on the table in Fellowship Hall after the service.  As one other blogger said, “They also serve who stir and pour.”  I’ll be greeting in August, and Officer Training and Installation will be in September.
  • Camp Johnsonburg – I’ve assisted twice with Sunday check-in.  Once I was a medical check person for the “no medication” line, and the other time I managed the medical form paperwork process (an all-paper process that is a bit labor-intensive for 200+ campers).  I was pleasantly surprised to run into one of my youth group members checking into the camp’s Leadership Training Program (a 3-week program that is essentially Counselor training).  I’ll be back again in August for one more Sunday.
  • Youth Group – I drove the youth mission trip to and from Philadelphia where they stayed at and worked with Broad Street Ministries.  By all reports a good time was had by all and several report transformational experiences.  I’ll be going with the youth group trip to Montreat for the Youth Conference (week VI) starting next weekend.  I’m a smidge nervous about that – the last time I did a week road trip with a bunch of youth was my trip to the Presbyterian Youth Triennium in 1986, when I was a youth.  I’m hoping that a mostly out of shape 40-year-old can keep up.
  • Birthday – it was quiet, which is the desired result.  I didn’t ask for much, and the presents that I received were thoughtful.  I got a lot of cards with old people on them for some reason …
  • Ham Radio – I participated in the national Field Day at the end of June.  I was only able to help set up in the morning and operate for a few hours in the afternoon.  This event is when amateur radio clubs and individuals all over the country set up their equipment in the field (we were at Mercer County Park) and demonstrate their ability to operate in an emergency.
  • Home, Wife, Cats – all about as good as usual.

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Blogging will be non-existent between July 25 and August 3 or so due to the youth trip.  It may be light until then, unless I think of something compelling to say.

Just talk to me

July 2, 2008 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Religion 

Sara, commenting in another thread, tells me that there are members of the congregation that I belong to who read my blog solely to make sure that they aren’t mentioned.  So far, only one person has talked to me about this – at the prompting of the pastor.

There’s a simple remedy for this that is already being used by the one person who spoke to me.

TALK TO ME
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Just tell me that you would prefer not to be mentioned on this blog.  I will promise that I will avoid mentioning you or events involving you, and if I am unable to do so I will at least clue you into the fact that I’m writing about X (whatever it may be).

If I am called to follow Matthew 18:15-17 on this matter, then others are called to do the same.

Deacon-elect delayed

June 17, 2008 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Religion 

Apparently, the folks on the church staff have decided to delay new officer training and the ordination/installation service to September.  One reason is that our senior Pastor will be at General Assembly on the date previously mentioned.

By the Book of Order that means that I’m actually not serving on the Board of Deacons until I am installed, but I will be happy to volunteer for duty during the summer as required.  I guess this means that the Session will have to meet using the old group all the way through the fall, since they are the examining body that will approve the new officers.
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UPDATE 6/18:  It looks like installation will be on 9/14, with officer training on 9/6.

Deacon-elect

June 16, 2008 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Religion 

I am a deacon-elect.

The congregation also elected the first elder under the age of 18 in our 310 year history.
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Installation is scheduled for June 29.

Busy Weekend

June 12, 2008 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Ham Radio, Life, Religion 

This is going to be a busy weekend.

On Saturday, I have to be at ETS in Princeton by 6:30am in order to work with my fellow ham radio operators to support the American Diabetes Association Tour de Cure bike race.  We’ll be providing radio support to handle bike rider problems, such as needing the sag wagon to get taken back to the start/finish line, needing repairs, or getting into accidents and needing medical attention.  There are 3 races occurring simultaneously and it should be complicated.  Right now I’m scheduled to be a “net control”, roughly equivalent to a central dispatcher.
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Sunday I’ll be at church for worship, followed by the Annual Congregational Meeting.  That meeting will take a while because this is the meeting where organizations make their annual reports.  There is also the election of elders and deacons.  In the afternoon I’ll need to get the lawn cut and get bills paid and such.

Blogging and MY local congregation

June 11, 2008 by · 5 Comments
Filed under: Religion 

It’s been a few days since I posted the question about blogging and the local congregation.  I’m still mulling over the question.  I can’t seem to let it go – blogging is reflective of several major parts of my personality (the top 3 on my Goals for How to Live My Life), and I’m entering a new phase of my relationship with the congregation (though it will probably look a lot like the current phase).  This question/problem is gnawing at me.

This post is kinda stream of consciousness.  Please keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle, pull back on the bar until you hear the click, and hang on.

So far, the comments on blogging about one’s congregation (and the comments, concerns and complaints received offline) fall into a few categories:

  1. Be who you are.  You’re good enough, and people will always pick on what they don’t like.  (With a tiny bit of “what’s wrong with them?!?”)
  2. You should never write anything negative about your congregation.  If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything.
  3. It might make things more difficult for you (and usually for the speaker) if someone in the congregation gets upset about what you write.
  4. You need to be sure you’re willing to take the consequences that come with writing about the congregation.
  5. You should always discuss any criticisms with the subject person first.

Surprisingly, nobody is talking about the upsides that I see of a person blogging about their congregation, positive or negative.

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  1. For positive posts, a potential member/attendee sees good things about the congregation.  Pictures make an even greater impact.
  2. For positive posts, having individual feedback on the congregation can be more effective than the “insider” church website.  Today’s seekers take individual reviews of a product, place, or service more seriously than the “advertising” of the “seller”.
  3. For positive or negative posts, the leadership gets a chance to “read the mind” of the blogger.  (Of course, the good blogger knows this …)
  4. For negative posts, the blogger may provide early warning of a problem within the congregation.

There are a few other conclusions to draw from this stream of posts and comments.  It seems to me that my fellow bloggers see me differently than the folks from my congregation.  Some of that has to do with the fact that each side sees me in a different forum – the folks at the church see me in person and the folks online see me only through my writing (more rarely in person).  It feels like the folks from my congregation see me as a nice guy, a little strange, and I have this annoying habit of blogging.  The folks online seem to see me as a thoughtful writer, measured in criticism, sometimes prophetic, and sometimes a bit of a loose cannon.  It really does feel like the folks online understand me better than most in my congregation – the online community has a level of activity and intimacy that is missing in the church model of one to a few times a week interacting in groups.

I’ll be honest – all of this feels a bit like a personal attack to me.  What I’m hearing is “we really like your gifts, but we don’t like the way you’re using this one.”  What I’m feeling is “we want you to be yourself, but not this part of you.”

All of this has me tending toward a decision never to blog about my congregation – good or bad.  There are side-effects of that decision.  This will likely decrease my feeling of being connected to the congregation.  This will likely increase my feeling of being an outsider in the congregation.  It probably won’t hurt my faith, though it will be something of putting at least part of my light under a basket.  This will also reduce my ability to ask others for help with issues that come up through my work in the congregation.

Blogging only the good is not an option for me.  There is no way that my psyche would allow it.  I’m a person with a scientific mind – unchallenged ideas are of little value.

I haven’t made a decision yet, and I value your feedback on it.  I particularly value the feedback of people from my congregation – either here on the blog, in e-mail, or in person.

Oh, boy

May 31, 2008 by · 3 Comments
Filed under: Religion 

Today, I was at church participating in the Spring Cleanup Day, where we cleaned up the grounds.  Lots of raking, digging, moving bushes, mulching were done.

When it was time for me to go I found the woman in charge and the pastor together.  I told them that I was done and heading out.  I was thanked for my service, and then ….

Pastor:  Thanks for coming.  Let’s talk this week about deacons.

Me:  OK ….

Pastor:  Didn’t you get the letter?

Me:  No.  What letter?

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Mark:  We’ll see.

The letter was in the mail when I got home.

I’m inclined to say no simply based on the fact that I’m clearly not even on the C list – I’m on the D list or E list.  They started asking people in mid-April – it’s now 2 weeks before the Congregational Meeting.  I figure I’m about #35 on a list to fill 8 slots.  It’s hard to feel called by the congregation (represented by the Nominating Committee) when you’re that far down the list and asked at the last minute.

There are other factors to consider, too.

I’d like to hear your opinions.  You’re read of my recent trials and tribulations regarding service at the church and personalities there (including one deacon who will be going off the board at this time).

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