What is keeping potential new members from getting involved
In today’s post, we look at this question:
What is holding you back from getting involved/more involved in a faith community?
The caveats about the makeup of the retreat group found here apply.
The retreat participants indicated at least some interest in getting involved in a new spiritual community by the fact that they registered for and attended the retreat. This answers the questions of “why haven’t you gotten involved” or “why haven’t you gotten more involved”.
- Inertia
- Fear (of acceptance and other things)
- Laziness
- Lame excuses
- Fear of commitment
- Indifference
- “My Will or God’s Will?” (lack of clarity – am I making this change for me or for God?)
- Family and tradition pressures (am I tied to a particular church or denomination because it would kill Mom/Dad/Grandma if I changed?)
- Church not meeting our expectations
- Fear of rejection
- Don’t need the community
- Mileage/proximity/distance
- Other commitments (time mainly)
- Being in a pigeonhole (being labeled due to traits like age, marital status, sexual orientation, race, etc)
- Scheduling (services, other activities, day vs. evening)
- Needing to feel invited
- Allowing space for other spiritual opportunities
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This list is a bit short, mainly due to the fact that it was the last one covered in a brainstorm session and time was a bit short.
This concludes the series on what potential new members are thinking.
What potential New Members want to avoid in a spiritual community
Yesterday, we spoke of what potential new members were looking for in a new spiritual community.
Today, we get a smaller list of things that those same potential new members are looking to avoid when choosing a new church.
All caveats about the makeup of the group found here apply.
It’s important to note that the group started out by saying “This list is the opposite of the Want list.” They felt that we could have taken everything on the Want list and try to avoid the opposite. That’s the main reason that this list is short.
Fear was mentioned more than once. From my memory, it was the use of fear as a motivating factor by the church and/or preacher against the parishioners. This covered beliefs, required service and/or monetary contributions, and internal politics. Another aspect that was mentioned was fear of change within the church. A few members of the group had gone through some serious internal church conflicts (the phrase “level 5” was used by at least one Presbyterian in the group who’d been through that conflict).
- Fear and zealots (fear is defined as “you must believe this or else” and using fear as a motivation for a particular belief)
- Exclusion (of anyone, but particularly of identifiable groups like race, gender, sexual orientation, age, etc)
- Old regime (a small group in charge, has always been in charge, and will not relinquish control)
- Pulpit politics (mainly non-church issues)
- Participation by guilt (church and committees)
- Irrelevance to my life
- $$$ focus (fundraising for the linked parochial school was mentioned here, but it covers more territory than that. Being valued by how much money you give.)
- Hopelessness – joy for what IS (being caught up in talking about how bad it is that we are not X {bigger, getting along better} rather than celebrating what we ARE)
- Not open to new ideas or change
- Sense that community can only exist within those four walls
- Unwelcoming – lack of warmth (including not talking to and welcoming visitors)
- “Stuck in the Mud”, “Way we’ve always done it” and “We’ve
Tried that before” - Avoid ritualistic traditions with no purpose
- Emphasis on money
- Focus on growth of buildings (build congregation first)
- Being pigeonholed (being identified as a particular type of person based on traits or history)
- Ties/formality of dress
- Lack of flexibility with expectations
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Again, this was simply a brainstorm to allow people to figure out what they are looking for and looking to avoid when choosing a new church or spiritual community. No analysis was done as to the feasibility of any of these ideas or their faithfulness.
What potential New Members want in a spiritual community
The first question asked of the group was:
What Are You Looking For in a Spiritual Community?
The following are responses to the brainstorm. Some may be repetitive and others are contradictory (different people want different things). I will amplify a few that were better communicated in person.
- Involvement (personal experiences)
- Welcoming fellowship – embracing
- Connection, belonging – “Cheers” – NORM! (the quote from the TV show – want to feel known and appreciated)
- Recharging/revitalizing
- Awe – mystery – presence
- Non-exclusion (this covered a lot of territory including race, age, gender, and sexuality)
- Family programs
- Variety in music
- Flexible service times (it’s hard for some to make 10am/11am Sunday)
- Positive agenda (build up people)
- Personal relevance
- Location (close to home, mainly)
- Facility comfort/aesthetics/accommodations
- Continuity in tradition
- History
- Safe space – intentional (meaning that the community work intentionally to generate a safe space for members to be open and honest without fear of politics and reprisal)
- Framework to do good works
- Opportunity to share one anothers’ journeys on a deeper level
- Alternative timing/schedules
- Green – eco-conscious
- Youth programs/young adult (this and Sunday School were important even to people who had no children and didn’t plan to have any)
- Over 30, No Children – fill that hole (this is the feeling that churches have programs for youth and young adults, programs for children and families, and programs for older adults but nothing for this group)
- Diversity/acceptance
- Inspiring Sunday message – NOT political (political meaning non-church issues)
- No discount (this is a core value of the camp where the retreat was held. It means no discounting others or yourself)
- Direct service in the community
- Intergenerational relationships (the person mentioned a church that paired up older adults as “foster grandparents” for new members)
- Welcoming community
- Accepting people as they are (we talked a bit about dress and “come as you are” as well as accepting people around other traits)
- Empowering people to serve rather than trying to fill
offices - Pastoral care
- Diversity in services
- Ceremony & ritual
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Remember that this is what this group of people WANT in a church. There was no discussion around whether or not these ideas were practical or fit within the belief structure of the church in question. The primary purpose of asking the question was to get the participants thinking about what they should evaluate when looking at potential church homes.
Inside the heads of potential members
In the next few days, I will present some information from the Reconnecting with Faith – Finding Your Home retreat. I do so in the hopes that it will be useful to churches and new member programs in particular.
The information results from brainstorming done by the participants of the most recent retreat. There are three sets of information:
- What are potential members looking for?
- What are potential members looking to avoid?
- What is stopping you [the retreaters] from getting involved or more involved in a faith community?
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Please keep in mind that this was a small group (about 10) in New Jersey. The needs in your area may be different. Also, this group was concentrated in the 20-40 age group, though we had representation of older folks. This group was predominantly white and middle class as well. A few of the participants were coming from a non-Presbyterian Christian denomination.
New Members in Mission
Quotidian Grace writes about her recent experience attending a new member’s class at another church. (I’m not entirely clear on whether she is changing churches or just sitting in – she’s the moderator-elect of her presbytery.)
The really interesting part of her experience is the Saturday “workday” that they did. The new members were taken to one of the church’s outreach agencies to work for a 1/2 day. They did the usual mission work – packing sack lunches, working in the Thrift Shop. At the end of the day they heard about other mission opportunities (and learned even more in the regular Sunday session the next day).
The group even made sure that they were thanked and given pictures (electronically) of them working.
Old men are encouraged cialis sales uk to take the medicine. It allows users to and the experts generic for cialis to regain the sexual endurance. Whatever may be the cause for amerikabulteni.com discount levitra ED, it is now easily obtainable through internet-based pharmacies. Not only Kamagra Oral jelly, these companies supply Indian viagra sample that are available to ensure the protected and safe way to manufacture the medicine for ED treatment. This is a great idea. At Camp Johnsonburg, the campers do a small project to help out the camp every week (it could be as simple as looking for trash on the meadow). The camp Leadership Training Program (formerly Counselor-in-Training) senior high’s do a big project for the camp – usually building or creating something (the camp’s labyrinth is a good example).
We got an overview of mission opportunities at the Lawrenceville church new member class. We even got to see most of the internal ones just before the classes started at the annual stewardship fair (and the new class just got to see the external ones yesterday at the annual mission fair). But we didn’t actually roll up our sleeves and do something. The new member class was a nice way to get slightly acquainted with some of the other new members, but I would have really liked the chance to get to know people in the way that only happens when you work on something together.
Kudos to the Memorial Drive Presbyterian Church in Houston!
Reconnecting with Faith – Finding Your Home retreat 2007 – How’d it go?
The Reconnecting with Faith – Finding Your Home retreat was a big success this past weekend at Camp Johnsonburg!
We had 10 paying participants, plus 4 staff (and a few other camp folks floating in and out during the weekend). The participants were a very diverse group in several dimensions. We had people from age 20-something to age “I don’t want to guess and be wrong”. We had people in churches, people not in churches, and people looking at alternatives to Christianity. We had some racial diversity. We had theological diversity in that we had folks all along the spectrum from conservative to progressive. Most of us came from a Presbyterian (PCUSA) background, and there were a few Catholics in the group. We had 3 couples, a few singles, and a few married folks whose spouses didn’t attend.
The weather was a bit cold (particularly Friday, though it wasn’t the 4-degree F cold that the camp folks had to put up with before we arrived Friday morning). There was just the right amount of snow on the ground; we got a little each night – just enough to cover the ground but not enough to slow us down. The lake was frozen over except for an oval about 1/3 of the size of the lake. The geese and swans were camped out on the frozen part.
We began the weekend by doing some get-to-know-you games Friday evening, followed by some fellowship and food time. We also outlined the Johnsonburg standard core values of “No Discount” (of yourself or others), “Challenge by Choice” and Permission-Giving. Because some of the participants knew each other outside of the retreat and the knowledge that someone might want to leave their church could be dangerous in the wrong hands, we added a new rule – “What happens at Johnsonburg stays at Johnsonburg”.
Saturday morning, we had a very emotional and uplifting session where each group member was able to tell the story of their faith journey. These stories brought the group even closer together and allowed each to unburden themselves of the reasons that they might be looking to join a church or switch churches or leave the church. A participant said it best: “Mark and I can’t really do justice to the beauty of the stories that were told at the retreat this weekend.”
Saturday afternoon we did some brainstorming: what people wanted in a faith community, what people were looking to avoid in a faith community, and what stumbling blocks were keeping them from making progress in discerning whether or not to join a faith community and if so, which. This session provided some good ideas for each person when they are considering a new faith community.
Saturday afternoon we had some free time. Some of us took a 4-mile hike along the Yellow and Red Trails, while others connected with each other, relaxed, or even napped. The camp canteen was open for a while so that folks could purchase a souvenir of their retreat experience.
Saturday evening, we completed the afternoon activity by brainstorming ideas on how to look for a new church. Use of the Internet, friends, neighbors, coworkers, church visits, church staff and other resources were highlighted. Those who had taken this route before were able to add their own experience to the bounty of ideas.
We then experienced a fascinating lecture – Spirituality 101. In 90 minutes, our retreat’s minister leader went through the breadth of spiritual options in the world, along with the options within Christianity and the historical reasons for the number of denominations that we have. It was amazing – I’ve had full semester religion classes that contained less information than this presentation.
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Later Saturday evening we had food and fellowship again, with S’mores and Banana Boats cooked on the fireplace in the dining hall.
Sunday morning after breakfast (including a wonderful body prayer for grace) we began with Quiet Time. A number of the group ventured out into the cold to walk the camp’s outdoor labyrinth in the quiet stillness of the sunny winter morning.
We followed that with a worship service planned by the retreat participants WITHOUT the aid of the religious professionals. The service was very camp-like and yet still had all of the reverence of a church service.
After worship we concluded with evaluations, lunch, and an invitation to enjoy the camp facilities for the rest of the day.
For this retreat, the people ARE the program. I’d like to thank the folks pictured above for their wonderful contributions. I’d also like to thank all of them for the mutual respect that we all felt – in this era of Christians tearing each other apart we were able to assemble a group from all parts of the spectrum who worked together to help each other while respecting the conscience of each of us.
I’d also like to thank the Johnsonburg staff who helped plan/staff/support the retreat – including Lorelei, Kurt, Alicia, Harry, Josh, Shelly, and everybody else. Additionally, I’d like to thank Dave Myers, who served as our minister-in-residence and all-around expert on things religious.
Based on feedback received, there’s a pretty good chance that we’ll try to do this retreat again. Watch this space or the camp website sometime this fall for more information. As I’ve stated before, any suggestions on how to advertise this retreat to the target audience (particularly those NOT in a church at the moment) would be appreciated.
If you have any questions about this retreat, please feel free to contact Lorelei at the camp or me.
Reconnecting with Faith retreat update
We’ve finally determined the cost for the Reconnecting with Faith – Finding Your Home retreat January 26-28, 2007.
The cost will be $45 per person. However, we are determined The signs and symptoms of anemia levitra cost include pale skin, low red blood cell counts, low oxygen saturation, low energy, and constant fatigue. This order sildenafil drug takes 30-45 minutes in producing results. User can feel the sensation within an hour of copulation as it stars working viagra prescription in an hour. Individuals use ginkgo generic levitra online look what i found biloba for several factors. that money will not keep anyone away from the retreat. If money is an issue contact the camp – we have financial assistance available for those who need it.
Reception of New Members
Today the Lawrenceville Presbyterian Church received me (and 15 others) as new members of the church.
All of us were asked to sit up front in the church along with our families. Carolyn joined me this weekend (taking a break from the Catholic thing) and sat with me in the first pew. I think I like it better towards the back. The building looked full – just enough room for everybody to be comfortable rather than crammed in.
The bulletin included a legal size page with our pictures and self-written bios on both sides.
Just after the Children’s Message, we were called up by name to be recognized as new members. One of us, Kate – a student at Princeton Seminary – needed to be baptized. We were all asked the traditional baptism questions as our formal profession of faith, and then Kate was baptized in what has to be the wettest baptism I’ve ever seen in a Presbyterian church (water was actually running down her back). Then the congregation read the Words of Welcome from the Book of Common Worship, and sang a hymn “Blest Be the Tie That Binds” and the congregation was then invited to pass the peace (moved from the beginning of the service). The Peace was as chaotic as usual with the crowd of us tripping over each other. Then we all sat down and the service continued.
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At the end of the service, the group of new members left at the beginning of the last hymn to form a receiving line in Fellowship Hall. I managed to get Carolyn to stand next to me – after all she is part of the family now, too. We then met a huge crowd of people, most of whom who told me their name and few that I remember, and then we had the cake that was specially made for us. We chatted with all sorts of folks and then headed home.
This is the end of the journey that began in August 2005 when another volunteer at Camp Johnsonburg asked me “What church do you belong to?” and I had no answer. It went on to include the Reconnecting with Faith – Finding Your Home retreat at camp and my church search.
While this is the end of the journey back home, it is certainly NOT the end of my spiritual journey. I hope to bring you news as time goes on. I look forward to this church finding a way to pull me into greater involvement – I’m eager to get started but I need help to find that first thing to volunteer for. And I also look forward to telling the story of this successful journey at the new Reconnecting with Faith retreat next January.
I am a Presbyterian, again
Last night, the session of the Presbyterian Church of Lawrenceville, NJ voted to receive me as a member by Reaffirmation of Faith. This ends my nearly 20 year departure from the church (and at least a few years off the rolls anywhere).
I wasn’t alone – there were 15 others joining at this time. Three by Profession of Faith, Six by Reaffirmation of Faith and 7 by Letter of Transfer. As I’ve said before, this was a very diverse group on everything but age. The new members live as far away from Lawrenceville as Lahaska, PA and Bensalem, PA. There are two first-year students at Princeton Seminary. The ages run from early 20’s to “I don’t want to even guess” retired. When you add the non-member spouses (like mine) and young children, the group ends up being more like 25 people.
In fact, we outnumbered the elder members of the session. Because the group was so large, the session had to start their meeting in the chapel and move to their usual spot after the new member portion was complete.
We got started about 7pm with new members and session members filtering into the room. The chairs were arranged in a big circle that just barely fit in the room, and the new members and session members were interspersed throughout the circle.
The idea behind this is that this way the blood stays sale on viagra on for long time in the penis, which results to the improvement in erection. Apart from tablets, a patient can use http://www.devensec.com/sustain/eidis-updates/IndustrialSymbiosisupdateAug_Nov2011.pdf cheapest viagra generic the simplest form of genuine drug if getting issues to swallow a pill. It is possible to generic tadalafil tablets produce positive results in their erections. This course we offer is one of the best cheap viagra in india herbal remedies to prevent and treat ED completely. The main portion of the meeting was taken up by the introductions. Each new member was asked to give some information on themselves, their families, their faith journey and why they chose Lawrenceville. Each session member did the same, substituting what membership means for them for their faith journey. Due to the size of the group, this took over 45 minutes.
After that, the session voted to receive us into membership and to authorize the baptism of one of us. We then said a common prayer and passed the peace. The session then left the room to continue their meeting (being 1/2 hour behind schedule due to our group’s size) and the rest of us headed home.
On Sunday, we will be recognized during the service and one of us will be baptized. We’ve been instructed to sit up front in the reserved pews (along with family) and that we will be called to stand in front of the congregation at some point. During the final hymn we will be escorted out to form a receiving line in Fellowship Hall.
The one funny point of the evening came when one of the new members talked about the music program and choir being part of his reason for choosing Lawrenceville. An elder who is in choir (and who was still jet-lagged from the mission trip to Israel) leaned over and told him when the choir meets. He then informed her that he’s been in the choir for six months! Apparently short women in the soprano section up front can’t see the big guys in the baritone section in back.
Why Lawrenceville?
Tonight, I go before the session of the Lawrenceville Presbyterian Church (NJ) to be received by Reaffirmation of Faith as a new member. There are about 15-20 of us (I think) being received by various methods. To that number you can add 6-10 kids.
A while back, I wrote about my return to the church after an absence of almost 20 years. What I didn’t really put into that post was why I chose this particular church. Apparently, I’m going to be asked that question tonight, so here’s my summary of why (in no particular order).
1. It feels like the church that I grew up in.
That could have been a bad thing (since I had some issues with my original church that were minor contributors to my departure), but I checked on the issues that I had with the church that I grew up in and reportedly they are not a problem here. The way in which Lawrenceville feels like the church that I grew up in are: size (number of members and attendees, size of sanctuary/buildings), service format and content (basically a traditional service with the old standard hymns and a format that I’m used to), music program (wow! can this congregation sing!) and an active youth group.
2. The church has a policy of tolerance for all viewpoints.
A church can either be somewhere along the “conservative” to “liberal” axis, choose to work for tolerance of all viewpoints (within reason), or choose to avoid controversial issues. Based on what I was told (and have seen since), this church shows an unusual tolerance for a wide range of opinion. One story that I was told was about a table at a men’s meeting where a discussion of a controversial issue erupted. Two people staked out the opposite positions, but everybody contributed with opinions all the way across the spectrum on that issue. None of it was heated. That’s what I want – nice respectful academic discussion. Having said that, the church averages out to someplace center to progressive in theology. This is truly a “big tent” within the Presbyterian mold.
3. This church is a thinking church.
There is a big emphasis on adult education and study. Not just “let’s all study the Bible together” but discussions on applying faith to issues.
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4. The church has lots of volunteer opportunities.
There are a lot of things going on. The church wants to have as many people involved as possible – but at the same time doesn’t want to push anybody beyond what they want to do.
5. Church leadership is open and involves lots of people
Unlike other churches that I know (or grew up in), this church rotates a lot of people through it’s leadership roles. At the ordination/installation service that I attended they asked anybody who had ever been an elder or minister to get up and lay hands on the new officers. 1/3 of the congregation got up – a HUGE ratio.
That list was written back in August when I chose this church. Since then, I have also come to realize that there is a warmth to this congregation that might not be apparent to a casual visitor (or a summer visitor, for that matter). Put simply – people care at this church. About each other, about people in the local community, about justice, about evangelism. There is a level of warm commitment – not just words or slogans but actual one-to-one action.
Feels good to me.
Tomorrow, you should be reading a post about tonight’s meeting.
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