{"id":1306,"date":"2011-03-14T09:11:47","date_gmt":"2011-03-14T13:11:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/marktime.org\/?p=1306"},"modified":"2011-03-14T09:11:47","modified_gmt":"2011-03-14T13:11:47","slug":"how-i-saw-it-my-testimony-at-the-worship-in-a-new-key-service-march-13-2011","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marktime.org\/?p=1306","title":{"rendered":"How I Saw It – my Testimony at the Worship in a New Key Service March 13, 2011"},"content":{"rendered":"

At my church, our alternative service is called Worship in a New Key.\u00a0\u00a0 One occasional element of this service is personal testimony by someone from the congregation about their own experience that is relevant to the scripture or sermon.\u00a0 I was asked about a year ago to tell my wilderness journey story but the time didn’t feel right – my journey wasn’t far enough along.\u00a0 I was asked again to speak this week, and it felt right. Below is the text and audio of my story.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"Barren<\/a>Audio:<\/strong> Mark_Smith_WINK_Testimony_2011-03-13<\/a><\/p>\n

Scripture:<\/strong> Matthew 4:1-11<\/p>\n

Today\u2019s scripture talks about Jesus\u2019 time in the wilderness.<\/p>\n

Each of us at times ends up in the wilderness.\u00a0 Sometimes we\u2019re there for a short time, sometimes we\u2019re there for a while.\u00a0 We each have our own path into the wilderness, and we each have our own path out of the wilderness.<\/p>\n

My wilderness time is recent.\u00a0 Some of you know my story but for those who don\u2019t, here\u2019s a brief summary.\u00a0 On August 12, 2008 \u2013 a few days after the mountaintop<\/a> experience<\/a> on the youth trip to Montreat – I was laid off from my job \u2026 suddenly and without any idea of what was coming.\u00a0 For 18 months I searched for another Information Technology job with little luck in this difficult economy.\u00a0 Throughout that time I periodically got a sense \u2013 louder every time \u2013 that I should be looking to attend seminary and go into ministry.\u00a0 Ultimately that message got so loud that it was impossible to ignore and I will be starting my Master of Divinity degree at Princeton Seminary this fall.
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\nBut this story is about the wilderness.\u00a0 And this particular wilderness was very hard.\u00a0 Losing a job these days is like a quadruple edged sword.\u00a0 In one shot you lose your income and your security, part of your circle of friends that you\u2019ve seen every day, your 40+ hours a week purpose in life, and likely a huge chunk of your self-esteem. If you\u2019re like I was, a lot of your sense of self is tied up in what you do and how you do it \u2013 and all at once you are told that that no longer desired.\u00a0 Even when you\u2019re told that it was an economic decision \u2013 for the good of the company, nothing personal \u2013 that sense of failure is there.<\/p>\n

The first thing that I did was to start looking for a new job. I was offered outplacement services, and when you go to these outplacement services they teach you how to find a new job. And one of the first things they teach you is that finding a new job requires having and showing a good attitude. In other words, you have to hide the feelings that you\u2019re feeling so intensely in order to make those feelings stop.\u00a0 For some that might be possible \u2013 for me it was painful. I think the hardest part for me was the isolation and purposelessness \u2013 the change from being in a small cubicle but surrounded by neighbors and noise and conversation about work and other things, to being alone at home in a room in front of my computer for hours at a time doing what I felt was accomplishing nothing. \u2026<\/p>\n

I\u2019m an Introvert, and even introverts need people contact from time to time.\u00a0 The networking with strangers required by the job search was stressful for me, and on the flipside, the excessive time alone was also stressful.\u00a0 One-to-one time with trusted friends was incredibly valuable to me.<\/p>\n

Leigh [Leigh Stuckey, who gave the sermon before I spoke]<\/em> spoke \u00a0about the character of the human Jesus \u2013 about faith and how God expects us to be.\u00a0 With a few notable exceptions, I have most often experienced God through other people. In my wilderness time I was not alone.\u00a0 There were times that I didn\u2019t see it or didn\u2019t believe it, but God was with me.\u00a0 God was with me, often in the form of the people who surrounded me.\u00a0 My wife, who was and continues to be incredibly patient and caring while I go through heavy emotional weather.\u00a0 The staff of this church who took time to listen to me and encourage me \u2013 particularly Jill and Rich Richards.\u00a0 My friends in the church.\u00a0 The youth and advisors of the Sr. High group, who told me quietly that they were praying for me and how I inspired them throughout this journey.\u00a0 Now I\u2019m a heavy Twitter and Facebook and Internet user, and I found that my Twitter friends and Facebook friends far away and local were absolutely wonderful when they gave me advice, words of encouragement, face to face time, and occasionally something productive to do.\u00a0 All of these people were the face of God to me, sometimes intentionally, and sometimes just by being themselves.\u00a0 They let me be me, let me know that I was loved and valued, through a time when circumstance and rejection told me otherwise.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m almost out of the woods now.\u00a0 I can see the path that I will take, and I can see the edge of the wilderness from here.\u00a0 It\u2019s been a difficult time and a growing time for me. I am ever so thankful that God let His presence show through the people around me, and I thank God for them.