First, a disclaimer.\u00a0 I’m just as guilty as everybody else of what I’m about to write.\u00a0 I’m also getting older, and as a result my wind wanders more than it used to.<\/p>\n
In the PC(USA), we’re fighting.\u00a0 It’s over gay ordination, it’s over Biblical inerrancy, it’s over the fundamental question of whether or not the Bible is a rulebook.\u00a0 For this post, it doesn’t matter why we’re fighting.\u00a0 Today we’re gonna talk about HOW we’re fighting.<\/p>\n
Each side is alternating name-calling of the other side and arguments meant to convince the other side that they need to change their thinking.\u00a0 I can’t do much here about the former – either you see those with whom you disagree as worthy of respect or you don’t.\u00a0 But the latter CAN be fixed.<\/p>\n
It’s a simple idea taught to youth, but forgotten with adults:<\/p>\n
When your mouth is open, your ears are closed.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n When you are speaking to someone, you are not listening.\u00a0 Pretty simple, eh?\u00a0 The implications go deeper than this.<\/p>\n When you are formulating a response to the other person’s argument in your head, your ears are closed.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n We’ve all experienced this.\u00a0 You sit in a meeting at work and somebody says something that you disagree with.\u00a0 You immediately start working on making your rebuttal convincing, waiting for a break in the conversation to get your words in.\u00a0 You’ve STOPPED listening – your brain is someplace else.<\/p>\n So there is viagra brand<\/a> definite link between these two conditions. It has been recommended as a sexual ability enhancer by experts cialis uk no prescription<\/a> for so many years. In most of the cases, it is used after dissolving in a glass of the water. lowest prices for sildenafil<\/a> As a rule, these patches are hard-won and something the wearer treasures for a lifetime. valsonindia.com<\/a> order levitra online <\/span>If have your next sentence on the tip of your tongue and you’re just waiting for a break in conversation to get it in, your ears are mostly closed.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n You’ve been there too.\u00a0 You have something to say.\u00a0 You aren’t really listening, you’re like a tiger waiting to pounce at the right moment.\u00a0 You aren’t hearing what the other person is saying, you’re just listening for the silence that you can fit your speech into.<\/p>\n How do we combat this?<\/p>\n More silence.\u00a0 Respect the other person by listening to their argument.\u00a0 Use the silence to allow the ideas to settle in.\u00a0 Formulate your response when you don’t need to be open to what’s going on.<\/p>\n Don’t just speak to fill space.\u00a0 Make your speech meaningful.\u00a0 Have you ever been in a meeting where one person sits quietly in the corner, saying little?\u00a0 When they do speak, does the whole room say “Ahhh.\u00a0 Now I get it”?\u00a0 That person has learned to make a lot of impact with few words.\u00a0 In the future, that person’s utterances will be taken just that little bit more seriously – “He doesn’t say much, but what he does say is worth waiting.”\u00a0 Have you ever been that person?\u00a0 How much more satisfying was it than being the center of attention?<\/p>\n And last – you are NOT going to convince anybody if you call them names.\u00a0 Or use terms that amount to calling them names – that hurt them with something important to them.\u00a0 These are terms like “apostate”, “homophobic”, “Biblically unsound”, “uncaring”.\u00a0 Once you’re angered the other party, you have completely lost the ability to change their minds.\u00a0 Their ears are closed whether they are speaking or not.<\/p>\n Once we stop talking past each other and AT each other, we can talk TO each other.\u00a0 We can learn FROM each other.\u00a0 Then we have a chance at building a better world.<\/p>\n “Because I said so” is rarely convincing.