How I Saw It – my Testimony at the Worship in a New Key Service March 13, 2011
At my church, our alternative service is called Worship in a New Key. One occasional element of this service is personal testimony by someone from the congregation about their own experience that is relevant to the scripture or sermon. I was asked about a year ago to tell my wilderness journey story but the time didn’t feel right – my journey wasn’t far enough along. I was asked again to speak this week, and it felt right. Below is the text and audio of my story.
Audio: Mark_Smith_WINK_Testimony_2011-03-13
Scripture: Matthew 4:1-11
Today’s scripture talks about Jesus’ time in the wilderness.
Each of us at times ends up in the wilderness. Sometimes we’re there for a short time, sometimes we’re there for a while. We each have our own path into the wilderness, and we each have our own path out of the wilderness.
My wilderness time is recent. Some of you know my story but for those who don’t, here’s a brief summary. On August 12, 2008 – a few days after the mountaintop experience on the youth trip to Montreat – I was laid off from my job … suddenly and without any idea of what was coming. For 18 months I searched for another Information Technology job with little luck in this difficult economy. Throughout that time I periodically got a sense – louder every time – that I should be looking to attend seminary and go into ministry. Ultimately that message got so loud that it was impossible to ignore and I will be starting my Master of Divinity degree at Princeton Seminary this fall.
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But this story is about the wilderness. And this particular wilderness was very hard. Losing a job these days is like a quadruple edged sword. In one shot you lose your income and your security, part of your circle of friends that you’ve seen every day, your 40+ hours a week purpose in life, and likely a huge chunk of your self-esteem. If you’re like I was, a lot of your sense of self is tied up in what you do and how you do it – and all at once you are told that that no longer desired. Even when you’re told that it was an economic decision – for the good of the company, nothing personal – that sense of failure is there.
The first thing that I did was to start looking for a new job. I was offered outplacement services, and when you go to these outplacement services they teach you how to find a new job. And one of the first things they teach you is that finding a new job requires having and showing a good attitude. In other words, you have to hide the feelings that you’re feeling so intensely in order to make those feelings stop. For some that might be possible – for me it was painful. I think the hardest part for me was the isolation and purposelessness – the change from being in a small cubicle but surrounded by neighbors and noise and conversation about work and other things, to being alone at home in a room in front of my computer for hours at a time doing what I felt was accomplishing nothing. …
I’m an Introvert, and even introverts need people contact from time to time. The networking with strangers required by the job search was stressful for me, and on the flipside, the excessive time alone was also stressful. One-to-one time with trusted friends was incredibly valuable to me.
Leigh [Leigh Stuckey, who gave the sermon before I spoke] spoke about the character of the human Jesus – about faith and how God expects us to be. With a few notable exceptions, I have most often experienced God through other people. In my wilderness time I was not alone. There were times that I didn’t see it or didn’t believe it, but God was with me. God was with me, often in the form of the people who surrounded me. My wife, who was and continues to be incredibly patient and caring while I go through heavy emotional weather. The staff of this church who took time to listen to me and encourage me – particularly Jill and Rich Richards. My friends in the church. The youth and advisors of the Sr. High group, who told me quietly that they were praying for me and how I inspired them throughout this journey. Now I’m a heavy Twitter and Facebook and Internet user, and I found that my Twitter friends and Facebook friends far away and local were absolutely wonderful when they gave me advice, words of encouragement, face to face time, and occasionally something productive to do. All of these people were the face of God to me, sometimes intentionally, and sometimes just by being themselves. They let me be me, let me know that I was loved and valued, through a time when circumstance and rejection told me otherwise.
I’m almost out of the woods now. I can see the path that I will take, and I can see the edge of the wilderness from here. It’s been a difficult time and a growing time for me. I am ever so thankful that God let His presence show through the people around me, and I thank God for them.
Job Opening – Assoc. Pastor for Youth and Worship – Lawrenceville, NJ
My congregation has an opening for an Associate Pastor. The Presbyterian Church of Lawrenceville, NJ is a congregation of the Presbyterian Church (USA) (PC(USA)) and is part of the Presbytery of New Brunswick. Information on our congregation can be found at the church website and the PC(USA) statistics page for the congregation.
DISCLAIMER – my role. I am a Deacon among my roles at the church, and I served as the Chair of the Mission Study team which completed its work prior to the creation of the Associate Pastor Nominating Committee. I do not serve on the APNC, but have been asked by them to help advertise the position. I will be happy to answer what questions that I can via any communications method including in person. The APNC requests that specific questions about the position be directed to them – specifically to Thomas as listed below.
Position Description
Associate Pastor for Youth, Young Adult and Worship Ministries
The Presbyterian Church of Lawrenceville, NJ
CIF ID #04928.AEO
Contact: Thomas Emerick, APNC Chair: thomas744@mac.com
Fulltime Position, intended to begin September 2011
Reports to: Pastor, Head of Staff
Responsibilities include:
Youth and Young Adult:
- Overseeing the administration and execution of programs offered to 6th to 12th graders, College students, other “college” age youth and young adults at The Presbyterian Church of Lawrenceville, aimed at spiritual and faith development.
- Supervising the Seminary Intern for Youth Ministry (10-15 hours per week/School Year)
- Training, equipping, coordinating and encouraging lay leaders and parents is a primary means for providing ministry to and with youth
- Conducting regular (up to bi-monthly) leadership meetings
- Providing staff support for Youth Ministry Council
- Facilitating youth participation in the leadership of the program
- Providing programs that include parents in youth ministry
- Teaching and equipping lay teachers to provide educational experiences for youth.
- Working closely with a Session member liaison to youth ministry
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- Planning for, and coordinating the Confirmation experience for confirmation-age youth (currently 9th grade) and Mentors.
- In coordination with Assistant Youth Ministry Director and Seminary Intern, coordinate and provide leadership for weekend retreats, outings and events
- In coordination with Assistant Youth Ministry Director, plan and provide opportunities for mission experiences locally, regionally, nationally and internationally for all youth, which includes Summer Mission experiences.
- Participating in the Presbytery Youth Connection
- Providing consistent and clear communication and publicity about all activities.
- Developing and utilizing computer technology (e.g. website, email, etc.) in the publicity and promotion of the youth program.
Worship – Worship in a New Key:
- Work with Head of Staff and other staff on developing and planning for all aspects of WINK, including scheduling worship leaders, preachers, planning liturgy, etc.
- Provide primary preaching and sacramental leadership for WINK, by preaching/presiding once per month (minimum), and coordinating a rotation of other clergy to fulfill these roles.
- Work with WINK Music Coordinator, and WINK Planning Team, on weekly planning, as well as long-term, strategic planning for WINK service.
- Preach monthly at WINK service, and at least twice per year at traditional service.
Young Adult:
- Maintaining significant contact with young adult members of the church who are in college, the military, in the workplace or have just graduated from college.
- Providing programming, such as Bible Study and fellowship gatherings, for Young Adult members and non-members of the church.
General:
- Participation in weekly staff meetings
- At least monthly supervision with Head-of-Staff