Shame and the Stewardship Campaign

October 5, 2007 by
Filed under: Religion 

As I have discussed previously, I turned down the invitation to serve on the Stewardship committee this year.  I did this even though they were using the Consecration Sunday curriculum – which I was assured was not about the need for the church to receive but about the need for the person to give.  I was also told that it would be about more than money, but also about service.

So far this year we’ve had two “Minute for Mission” presentations at the beginning of the service.  In one, a woman who has recently experienced several deaths of close family members spoke of the care that she has received from the church. She also explained how this year’s campaign is different than last year’s in that a budget is not being prepared before the campaign – we don’t know How Much We Need.  I have no issues with this presentation.

The second one is the one that bothers me.  Another committee member spent 5 minutes at the beginning of the service going over a sheet called “Grow One” from the Consecration Sunday curriculum.  She went into detail about how to read the sheet and apply it to each of our situations.

One side of the sheet was the traditional income vs. percentage table.  On the left side was your income (different this year in that it isn’t annual income but weekly income) and across the top are percentages – with groups of percentages labeled things like “Low”, “Middle” and “High”.  In the center is the weekly pledge for that income and percentage.  Now while I find it hard to believe that our well-educated congregation needs help dividing their income by 10 to find the 10% tithe, or can’t use a calculator, I suppose this could be helpful to someone.

It’s the other side of the sheet that bothers me.  On that sheet, a stair-step graphic appeared.  Under each step was a range of weekly contribution.  The lowest range was 1c to $19.99 per week and the highest (of about 11) was $200 or more.  (I have to wonder who is pledging 52c per year.)  Above each step is the number of pledges in that group.  Our congregation is concentrated in two places – a group at or slightly above midpoint and a larger group about 1/4 of the way up from the bottom.  No information on incomes or situations – just how much per week.

Also included in the bulletin was a reservation form for the Consecration Sunday presentation and lunch.  After the speech was completed, the ushers collected the forms before the worship service began.  This again seems very coercive to me – using peer pressure.

Here’s what bothers me.  This is clearly intended to shame people into making a larger pledge.  This is NOT using the positive power of the Holy Spirit in order to encourage increased giving – it’s using the earthly power of peer pressure to shame people into making a larger pledge.  We should NEVER be comparing ourselves to others – we should be comparing ourselves to the ideal that Jesus provides.  We never ask whether or not we should avoid sin because the session thinks we should – we are to avoid sin because God wants us to.

Another troubling aspect of this method is it fails to take into account individual situations.  I know that we have people of all ages who have suffered debilitating illnesses that have caused them to stop working.  I know that we have families where the primary breadwinner is out of work (due to outsourcing in many cases).  What do these people think and feel when they read a chart showing their pledge as being below average?  Is it really a good idea to induce shame in those powerless to correct the situation?

With this on line viagra specific lifted circulation system stream to go in. That cialis without prescription icks.org being said, the drug is also noted to have some side effects that are not so hot. Kamagra is product of Ajanta pharma and this product is not all about advertising its usage and benefits but simply giving levitra sale ease to your torn and tattered self-confidence especially when the moment of truth ends up soft and worthless. The medicine involves active formulation of Sildenafil Citrate to take the pills two hours before sexual intercourse with your partner. cialis sale uk And what about the sin of pride?  Are we not encouraging pride in those at the top end of the scale?

Something else that bothers me is confidentiality.  We were told last year that only 3 people know what we pledge – the person who opens the pledge card envelopes, the Treasurer, and the person who issues our envelopes.  So why then are we seeing counts of pledges at various levels?  It seems that confidentiality is being broken, maybe not at the individual person level but overall.

Please note that I’m fine with hearing that the TOTAL giving is $X00,000 and that our budget last year was $Y00,000 and that we’ll have to cut some programs if we don’t make up the difference.  I just don’t like making it personal.  My gifts to the church are between me and God.  For that matter, my gifts to the church are a whole lot bigger than the check that I put in the envelope weekly.  Conservatively, I’ll estimate that outside of worship I volunteer 30 hours a month to the congregation (through youth group, committee work, and the like) and another hour or two per month on average to the church camp.  And that doesn’t consider any contribution that I might make through blogging about church here and at other blogs (a highly subjective value, I suspect).

I said earlier that I was bothered by this campaign.  That was a bit inaccurate.  My real feelings are somewhere between bothered and infuriated.  I nearly tore up my weekly check and envelope.  I briefly considered the reaction if I got up and walked out.

I will not be at church on Consecration Sunday.  The Monday after that Sunday is my 13th wedding anniversary and the 20th anniversary of Carolyn and my first date.  We will be in NYC for the weekend celebrating.  I’m lucky in that I won’t be there.

Maybe I should just find someplace else to worship during Stewardship season every fall.  I’ll just go worship at another church that isn’t doing Stewardship from about the last week of September through the middle of October – whatever week the cards are turned in.

Supposedly, because I’m missing Consecration Sunday I won’t get a pledge card until AFTER that date.  I’d be happy to fill it out now and make it all go away.  Apparently I have to wait until I’m considered delinquent before they’ll even GIVE me a card.  And it’ll come with a personal contact.  More coercion.

(Lest you think I’m griping because I’m at the low end of the pool:  My weekly contribution was above the midpoint on their stair chart.  That is true even though I appear to the church to be a single-person household – Carolyn also gives a similar amount to her church.)

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Comments

7 Comments on Shame and the Stewardship Campaign

  1. jodie on Fri, 5th Oct 2007 11:15 am

    2. Mark,

    You wrote some long articles last year about stewardship as well. Obviously, even though you don’t mind giving, you don’t like to be asked for money. Maybe this year you could spend some time thinking about why that is?

    It is a fine line between intentionally shaming someone in order to get something from them and people feeling shame when you broach a subject with them. I don’t think anyone in your church is trying to mentally abuse you. So why do you feel as though they were?

  2. Mark on Fri, 5th Oct 2007 11:51 am

    3. Wow. You do like to be combative in comments.

    Nobody’s going after me. I don’t feel any shame (on this issue). I’m completely comfortable with my level of giving in terms of money (the right amount) and time (if anything, more than enough).

    What bothers me is the comparison between people. My personal faith recognizes that each of us is an imperfect being trying to be as perfect as possible. Each of us is also at a different point along the journey.

    When you compare two people in the pews on the basis of their “faithfulness”, it’s like comparing a 6th grade cellist with a 12th grade cellist with Yo-Yo Ma. It’s not a proper comparison. The 6th grader may someday become the new Yo-Yo Ma, but he/she isn’t there yet.

    Ultimately, we need to compare ourselves to the ideal that Christ provides. For that matter, WE should be making the comparison, not other people. Only you know what is in your heart and in your mind.

    I will grant one exception – those being considered for officer positions (elder, deacon, minister) may need to be judged by their peers. But given the confidentiality promise made by this congregation, that comparison should not include giving of money.

  3. Jon on Fri, 5th Oct 2007 6:36 pm

    4. I think most of these resources are pretty common in churches. I think how we ask for money is largely cultural. (For instance, your statement that “My gifts to the church are between me and God” is very American.) In many of the immigrant churches I have gone to, individuals’ contributions are listed by name weekly in the bulletin. This is horrifying to many Americans, because for us money is “private” (maybe there is something shame related to this).

    Anyway, how to ask for money is very difficult. We have several options on how to pitch a stewardship campaign: (1) focus on the duty of giving, (2) emphasize the benefits of church life (3) highlight needs in the congregation, (4) encourage people to pay their “share”, etc.

    I know a lot of people avoid church during stewardship season. Right now my wife and I give substantially in terms of time, and very little in terms of money (she is a grad student and I am employed part time).

    I wouldn’t stress on this too much, especially if you had the chance to be on the committee and said no. I’d chalk it up to people doing the best job they know how on something very difficult.

  4. jodie on Sat, 6th Oct 2007 3:24 am

    5. Mark,

    Sorry, I didn’t mean to be combative.

    I’m with Jon though. You are making way more out of this than it is. The church needs money to simply pay the bills and function. There are salaries to pay, housing provisions and loans to pay maybe, heating and air-conditioning and janitorial services, facility maintenance, and that probably takes up 70% of the total budget, more or less. If a certain minimum income is not maintained people will get laid off, missions will falter, property may need to be sold. So they pass the hat around. Its just a chore like washing the dishes. Don’t make it more complicated than it is. Give what you can and move on.

    (I figure you put this topic on your site to get feedback – that’s my take, didn’t mean to offend)

    Jodie

  5. will spotts on Sun, 7th Oct 2007 1:00 pm

    6. Mark – I’m sure this will not come as much of a surprise, but I agree with you on this.

    I fully recognize there are legitimate expenses; I have no patience with stinginess; and I understand that the committee is trying to do what it believes right.

    That said, I have trouble reconciling this with not letting your right hand know what your left hand is doing, with Jesus’s praise for the widow, with the fact that humans judge by appearances while God looks on the heart, with God loving a cheerful giver.

    This approach, while common in many times and cultures, doesn’t square with my read of the Bible; and it seems to set itself up for pride, judging based on outward appearance, manipulation by shame, and a lack of appreciation of gifts given from the heart. It also strikes me that it causes a focus on the material – as if this were the only or even the chief way in which people give (or can give). I know (and I suspect many do) the countless hours people volunteer to often do thinks without being noticed – things that are necessary.

    While I would not, were I in your place, be overly critical of the committee, I would point out why I disagreed with the approach.

  6. Jon on Sun, 7th Oct 2007 2:08 pm

    7. Just to pursue this a little farther, I would say that there are some biblical models. One is the idea of “tithes and offerings,” where the one is prescribed and the other an act of gratitude. Another is the sin offerings, described in Leviticus, which are gradated by level of wealth or poverty. My understanding is that in many synagogues now, there is a system of “family dues.”

    Anyway, what Mark was given that was upsetting was essentially a list of what current families pay (generally) followed by a recommendation that they take it up a notch. This is an assessment in some sense, and it is a bit like getting a grade, a comparative ranking vis-a-vis other people. Personally, I can not see anything “shameful” about it. Mark knows that he fits somewhere in the middle, just on his own contribution. Who would be ashamed of this? I am “low-income” by any NJ measure and don’t give much to my church, and it would simply tell me where I am vis-a-vis the congregation. Presbyterian are VERY open about money. We know exactly what our pastors make down to the penny. Why shouldn’t congregations have a rough idea, anonymously, of where they are?

    As someone who works in congregations from time to time, this does remind me that money is very sensitive to people and that culturally we may want to change how we do stewardship. But I have to tell you the alternatives are also bad. People don’t want to be phoned by a member of the committee, they don’t want to be “guilt tripped” with sad stories, and they don’t want anyone to tell them what they should do. This doesn’t leave a lot of wiggleroom. Maybe we should do what the Patriotic Church in China does, which is just to leave a big slotted box to which people can contribute.

  7. Mark on Sun, 7th Oct 2007 2:48 pm

    8. I’ll reply in a moment, but first a statement.

    Based on some very familiar sounding sentences in today’s sermon, I’ll venture to guess that my pastor either reads this blog or was given this entry to look at. If you want to see this, go to the pclawrenceville.org website and look for the 10/7/07 sermon (it’ll be there by the end of the week most likely). Today’s sermon concentrated where I think the church should be concentrating – the benefits to the giver from making the gift. The pastor’s sermon was partially stolen by the Stewardship Committee member who spoke at the beginning of the service – the message was simple: if you give beyond what you think you can afford, God will respond.

    Jon:

    Regarding your options listed above – I think what this church is trying to do is combine 1 & 4. In the past it’s been about 3 & 4. I’d be OK as long as they leave out 4. I think I like the big slotted box even better. If it weren’t for tax deductions, we’d probably all give in cash and there would be no need for pledge forms or envelopes.

    Let me be clear:
    “The church needs X dollars. We’ve received pledges for X minus something dollars. We need more or we’ll have to cut programs.” – this is perfectly OK to me
    “The church needs X dollars. Given the local per capita income, the average person should be paying Y dollars per week.” – this is NOT acceptable for me
    “Here is a breakdown of what families in the church are giving. Find your current donation on the list. Where do you fall on the spectrum? Our church is considered unhealthy because we have more people below the midpoint than above. Consider increasing your gift one step.” – this is beyond unacceptable, it’s disgusting to me
    “Here are the biblical references showing the need and rewards of giving of your time, money and talents. Please pledge what you feel is right given your situation. Here’s a form for a dollar amount and a time amount. If you have talents that you feel the church could benefit from but aren’t being used, contact the {Stewardship,Nominating} commitee.” – this is ideal

    jodie:

    I guess you weren’t being combative so much as assuming what I’m thinking. That doesn’t generally work out well. You are correct – the degree of my “buggedness” for this issue is higher than for other issues. It’s also hard to move on given that we hear about this every week this time of year.

    Will:

    Thank you. As I said above it certainly seems that the committee or at least the pastor has heard my message. I also mentioned this to the member of the committee who asked me to join last spring.

Tell me what you're thinking...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!