For Everyone Born – a problematic hymn
Filed under: Music, Princeton Seminary, Religion, Seminary, Shoot Yourself in the Foot, Work
I’ve been meaning to write this post for a while. I went to the first new PC(USA) hymnal launch event in Pennsylvania last fall, and I’ve heard this hymn sung MANY times – at Field Ed, at General Assembly, at Princeton Seminary many times in chapel, at the Worship and Music conference. This hymn is quickly becoming a favorite of churches and seminaries.
It’s catchy. It’s easy to sing. It has a central message of unity, though it stumbles with some equality concepts. The refrain is really pretty and mentions all sorts of good things.
But it has a problem. Several problems really, but I’m going to concentrate on one. This problem has been pointed out to me by several friends.
Recently I’ve been noticing a pattern among my friends – primarily my female friends and close relatives. I’m becoming increasingly alarmed at how many have been abused – usually physically or sexually. It’s not that far from the truth to say that all adult women that I know well enough to have heard such stories have experienced some form of sexual or physical abuse. Or controlling behavior. ALL of them. Some more than once. I’m alarmed, and trying to figure out what to do with the anger.
For these friends (and certainly others), verse 4 of For Everyone Born is a problem. Here’s the verse:
For just and unjust, a place at the table,abuser, abused, with need to forgive,
in anger, in hurt, a mindset of mercy,
for just and unjust, a new way to live,
(Copyright 1998, Hope Publishing)
At a first glance it seems pretty benign – that abuser and abused should be able to participate in the church and Eucharist equally. We truly believe that. It’s not really a problem.
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And worst of all – the abused is expected to be at the same table as the abuser. THIS is psychologically damaging for everybody that has talked to me about this. The idea of sitting at a table, a Holy Table, with one’s abuser is painful. It causes panic attacks. It causes anger. One friend felt a call to walk out of a service in the middle of the hymn (though she didn’t). This verse of this hymn turns our sanctuaries from places of safety to places of danger. Danger in the triggering of abuse victims, and danger in the very real implication of sharing space with their abuser.
This becomes even more insidious when the abuser is a family member or significant other. People who have suffered abuse have it repeated again through family pressures. Family members urge or even demand that they reconcile with their abuser (often without knowledge of the abuse) “for the good of the family.” The abused person becomes the problem in that they split the family, rather than having the responsibility for the split properly lodged with the abuser. Some people continue years later to have nightmares about the abuser and the abuse, and this demand in this hymn can bring up all of that again.
The refrain calls on us to create justice, compassion and peace:
and God will delight when we are creatorsof justice and joy, compassion and peace:
yes, God will delight when we are creators
of justice, justice and joy!
I question whether any of these are possible when calling for abuser and abused to be in the same place. The abused will not feel justice. They will not feel compassion – they will feel the opposite. They clearly will not feel peace, or joy.
I doubt that the hymn’s author intended to make this statement. Still, the verse remains imbalanced. Some call for repentance and reparation might balance it. But perhaps it would be better just to leave it out. When this hymn was sung as the Class Hymn at my Princeton Seminary graduation last May I chose not to sing this verse. I almost sat down for the verse, but I was in a place where that would have been difficult and nobody would have understood what I was doing anyway.
So if you want to use this hymn, please consider skipping verse 4. Or consider skipping the hymn entirely – there are other hymns that say the same thing without triggering the many (many more than you realize) victims of abuse. Or at least know that you may have some work to do after it is sung.
Sermon on John 20
Filed under: Princeton Seminary, Religion, Seminary, Sermons, Uncategorized
Mark Smith and Chris Bailey, Interns
Watchung Avenue Presbyterian Church
April 27, 2014 10am
Psalm 16
John 20:19-31
Sermon Audio: Click Here
MARK: It’s been a crazy couple of weeks. Well, a crazy couple of years really, but the last few weeks have been crazier than most.
I’ve been with The Boss from the early days. I was one of the twelve that he started with. And I’ll be honest – I’ve always been pretty fired up for this new thing. This whole idea about the meek inheriting God’s Kingdom, about faith in God, about faith in Jesus. It’s all good.
Just a couple weeks ago, before Passover, we heard that Lazarus had died. Lazarus had been pretty good to us in the past. But still this was a scary thing – the people tried to stone Jesus the last time we were there. We barely made it out with our skins. And now Lazarus was dead. The Boss even told us that Lazarus was dead – he always knew things that we just didn’t know. He could be pretty confusing. But when The Boss said that we were going back to wake him up, I was all for it. I told The Boss that I was ready to go back to Jerusalem and die. And I was. But then, I had him with me. And he was the Messiah, he could protect me, right? So back we went, and he really did it! Four days dead and Lazarus came out all zombie-like with the wrappings still on him! Boy did I believe in The Boss that day!
CHRIS: When dealing with the loss of a loved one, we often try to look back and remember the things we loved most about them, and the time we spent together. After my own father passed away, I found a great deal of comfort in remembering the shared love of the outdoors that he first sparked within me during the time we spent together in Boy Scouts. In the same way, I remembered when I was even younger, and we would watch reruns of Batman featuring Adam West while I sat upon his shoulders. By taking the time to look back at the time my dad and I spent together, I was able to secure into memory the things that made my dad into a person I both loved and respected.
I imagine that Thomas and the other disciples did something similar after the death of Jesus. After all, a person they both loved and respected died dramatically in front of their very eyes. In order to relieve some of the shock they must have felt, it would have only been natural to try and remember the things about Jesus Christ that had caused the disciples to follow him in the first place…
MARK: This last time, before we lost him, he started saying weird things. He started talking about going where we can’t follow, and gave us new commandments. To love God – OK, that’s alright. We were already doing that. To love one another too – this was a little strange. Did he mean just us disciples? The twelve? Or did he mean everybody? That’s kind of hard, loving everybody.
And then he washed our feet. Him, the Messiah, did for us what a common servant would usually do. We should have been doing it for him! And then he told us about a place that he was getting ready for us, but didn’t tell us where. I asked him about it, but he got all mystical again: “I am the way and the truth and the life.” And knowing the Father and stuff like that.
He spoke for a while, telling us what he wanted us to know. And then we went to the garden. They came to arrest him. I thought for sure this was where the Big Battle was going to start – where our Messiah would release us from this bondage to the Romans, to the corrupt Jewish leaders. But he rebuked Peter for using his sword. And then he was led away. And it got worse after that. He was flogged, forced to carry his cross through the streets, and ultimately killed on the Cross. What kind of Messiah would lose? What kind of Messiah would die? We saw him die up there on the cross. And we were scared out of our wits. Were we next?
The Boss, the guy who had raised Lazarus from the dead was gone. Dead himself. He didn’t save himself. He didn’t stop his arrest, or even let us fight. I used to believe, but how can you believe that he’s the Son of God if he could lose like this? How can you have faith when something so bad happens?
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CHRIS: For the disciples, it was the compassion that Jesus showed to the poor and marginalized that drew them toward Jesus. As the messiah, Christ had healed the blind and disabled. They had seen Jesus raise Lazarus from the dead. In doing so, Jesus turned social structures upside down, and drew those who had been pushed to the margins toward the center of the community. The disciples were drawn the Christ as an individual who pushed boundaries of what it meant, and what it looked like to be faithful toward God. Yet, it was also this overt concern for the poor and the questioning of the status quo of faith that eventually lead to Jesus’ death. Through his life and work, Jesus had pushed this Romanized Hebrew community to examine itself. AnddDisliking what it saw in itself, the community pushed back upon Jesus, and took his life. Jesus offered a drastically new worldview, and it was rejected. The very thing that had initially drawn the disciples toward Jesus ultimately became the thing that took Jesus from them.
MARK: So about a week ago, the other disciples got so excited. They said they saw Jesus again. They told me that they were meeting in the upper room with the door locked, just like we’ve had to do since The Boss was killed. They said that there were holes in his hands and feet, and a big one in his side where the soldier had speared him. They said he breathed on them, and they felt the Holy Spirit.
I wasn’t there. I was off taking care of business for the rest of the group. And I gotta be honest. I’m not really sure what happened. Were they drunk? Were they so tired of being afraid, so tired of being cooped up that they saw what they wanted to see?
The old Jesus, the one who raised Lazarus, the one who healed and knew things and walked on water – THAT Jesus I could see coming back. That’s the Jesus that I knew before, the Jesus that I decided to follow, that I was willing to die for.
But the Jesus who was killed on the cross? The one who decided not to fight. The one who meekly went off to be killed. How could he come back? How could he let us down like that? How could he change the way the world works, make it better, if he couldn’t even save himself?
I’m not even sure what I would need to see in order to believe this. I might have to see the holes myself. To touch them, and to know that there isn’t a trick.
CHRIS: Honestly, I don’t know that we can really blame Thomas for disbelieving the other disciples. The experience of watching Jesus upon the cross must have been traumatic, and the images of which would have been painfully seared into Thomas’ memory. For Thomas, the Jesus that he saw hung upon the cross would have been drastically different than the image of Jesus that he had built from the experiences they had shared together. Placed in the same situation, I am sure that I would have doubted just the same as Thomas. Even having seen Jesus heal Lazarus, the death that Christ suffered was exceptionally brutal. In this story, Thomas is often portrayed as a bit of a fool, but if we were to be truly honest with ourselves, I think we would find ourselves to be more like Thomas than the blessed one who believes without having seen. To a certain extent, I believe doubt is an integral part of faith. Asking questions and doubting, at the very least, suggests that we are willing to engage and examine our own faith. Through his life, Jesus pushed those around him to examine their faith. By caring about the poor and marginalized, Christ pushed the religious community to ask how their current faith allowed them to overlook those who had been pushed to the margins. In this sense, it becomes important to remember that when we approach God with our questions and doubts we are still approaching God, and God remains present with us even in our doubting. We should not feel foolish in reaching out to God with our doubt. When our doubt becomes so strong that we feel unable to approach, we should take comfort in the fact that God is still present and willing to reach out to us.
MARK: Wow! A week has gone by, and everything is different!
He really did come back! He appeared in the middle of a locked house! And though I hadn’t even told the other disciples, he knew that I had trouble believing. He reached out to me, and told me to feel his hands and his side!
He knew that I had lost my faith, and he helped me get it back! He knows, of course he knows, that believing is the only way to the Father, and so he was willing to reach out to me specifically to help my unbelief.
I get it now. I really didn’t before. But now I see. It’s like he had to die and come back, or the whole thing wouldn’t have made any sense. It’s like he knew that from the beginning. And now I know, at least as well as I can. And now the hard part comes – explaining it to people who didn’t see it. Helping them to believe too.
Amen
A Lock
I grew up in Tenafly, NJ. We had one Middle School and one High School. I attended both from the early to mid-1980’s. Because it was a small town and most people went all the way through the school district, the middle and high school gym programs shared locker room locks. At the start of 6th grade, you paid a $4 deposit and received a lock. At the end of 12th grade, you could turn it in for your $4 back. It had a key slot on the back so that the gym teachers could open them. The picture on the left is similar, but the lock that I had was so old that the knob that you turned was silver metal.
I clearly wasn’t the first person to use this lock. Let’s assume an age of 20 years – probably two people had used it before me for 7 years each. Maybe three people. This lock traveled with me throughout middle and high school. Some summers it came with me to camp on my footlocker. For some reason, I didn’t turn it in after graduation. I know that I used it for storage over break in my dorm at Rutgers, and probably as a bike lock once or twice after graduating from college . It has been sitting in a cabinet here at my house since Carolyn and I moved in, with a piece of paper – now yellowed – with the combination in my handwriting. It probably hasn’t been used for 20 years. And yet, it still works.
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Yesterday, I bequeathed it to a friend. We met in seminary and she’s one of my favorite people. She’s moving far away for her first job after college and seminary. The lock is attached to a moving pod that is following her in a week or so. And so the lock, now in the hands of someone 20 years younger than me who wasn’t born the last time I opened it on my high school gym locker, continues to serve. And I’m glad that a little piece of me goes with her to her new home.
My Experience as a Second-Career Student at Princeton Seminary, part 2
This post is a continuation of post 1 from yesterday. I recommend that you read that post first.
2. I feel like I don’t know as much as others. If your first degree wasn’t in Religion or Theology or something along those lines, then you will enter seminary knowing less than some of your classmates. Some of them will take the option to test out of classes like Greek, Hebrew, Old Testament, New Testament, or Systematic Theology based on their undergraduate work. Others will in essence take those classes over again. In your first year, it will be common for you to hear terms in class that you have never heard, but that others around you understand completely.
DON’T panic. You can catch up. Google is your friend – most of the names and terms that you will hear are easily defined online. I remember the first time in Old Testament class that I was taking notes, and an unfamiliar name came up. I looked puzzled, and a young friend leaned over and wrote the correct spelling of the name on my notes. It was a great help. One staff member who was herself a second-career student at PTS told me the story of how she heard the term “hermeneutics” and wrote in a paper about the theologian “Herman Neutics”.
DO get help from others. The professors and teaching assistants understand and are usually willing to help you catch up. Contrary to popular belief, the Old Testament class is not intended as a “weed out” class – the professors truly want you to get through and do your best. The same goes for the language classes. Your fellow classmates will also be willing to help – both the young and the old.
DO know that the situation will reverse itself later. In your second and third years, the classes shift from those with a flood of information in huge lectures to classes that require more thinking and discussion in smaller settings. Your life experience and work experience will be of benefit to you. You may be taking preaching and have to write a funeral sermon, and some of your classmates may have never attended a single funeral. You may take a speech class where you learn to say the Words of Institution for Communion, and your years of hearing them said over and over will greatly help you memorize. In a pastoral care class you may be called upon to role play a situation that you’ve experienced, while your younger classmates have not. At this point, your willingness to share your life and experience will help them.
Also, you have undoubtedly worked in the world, and the same practical work skills (organization, time management, self-direction) will be of great benefit as you learn how to study again. The seminary degree is one where doing all of the assigned work is impossible – you have to figure out what readings must be read, and how to skim them, and how to write. It’s likely that you’ve done that in your career.
3. I feel like I’m missing out on things. This is particularly true if you live off campus. A lot of the community building that happens takes place in the evenings, in the dorms, and between the apartments. If you come on campus for classes, bring your lunch and eat alone, and then go home you will miss out on community. This can also happen if you live in the dorms or apartments.
There are a few ways to fix this.
DO eat lunch at the dining hall every day that you can, even if you bring your own lunch. A lot of the social structure of the campus gets built in the dining hall. DO join groups of people that you don’t know periodically. DO meet friends of friends – some of my strongest friendships can come from those connections.
DO come back to the main campus at night for events and organizations and special worship services. Some of the neatest things that happen at seminary happen outside of the classroom. I participate in the handbell choir that meets every Wednesday for rehearsal, and that time of the week feeds me. Others attend worship services with groups or participate in other organizations.
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Now, this may sound like you have to be a social butterfly, maximum participation extrovert. That’s not true at all. You know when you need to study, and you know when you need to take time for yourself. I’m a fairly strong introvert, and I manage this. One thing that I learned the hard way (by almost burning out) is that seminary forms all sides of you – the academic, the spiritual, the social, the practical. You won’t make it if you concentrate on homework and reading. Sometimes you have to make the decision that right now, this minute, it’s more important for me to connect with other people than to keep up in a specific class. And you have to listen for the working of the Holy Spirit in those moments. Sometimes the best thing you can do is to sit in the dining hall hoping that someone will sit and distract you from work. Because those conversations turn out more often than you’d think to be important moments in your formation.
4. A few last thoughts.
Attend chapel. It’s worth it. And the preacher is often a senior. Someday you will be that senior, and want others to attend your service.
The schedule isn’t set up for those who work. It’s just not – that’s not their priority. Even if you construct the perfect schedule that balances your classes and work and whatever outside life needs there are, it’s not going to work every week. Shoot, the schedule isn’t even set up for those who have Field Ed (except for Wednesday afternoon), and that’s a requirement. Here’s the thing – ministry isn’t on a perfect schedule either. You have to learn to be flexible, and to build resources into your life to compensate for those unexpected emergencies.
Ask for help when you need it – with schoolwork, with mental health, in spiritual crisis, when your car breaks down. There’s an aura at Princeton that seems to require us to act as though we have our stuff together all of the time. The truth is the total opposite – nobody has their stuff together all of the time, and it’s rare that any person has all of their stuff together at the same time. The school is starting to work on breaking down this need for apparent perfection. What that means for us is that we need to work on it from the other side. Let your dirty laundry show some, let people know that you need help, and offer help to others. I hear from others that this is an issue unique to Princeton. Let’s fix it.
Have fun. It’s not possible to study and work and pray and such all of the time. Be sure to take time out to enjoy yourself and recharge your batteries. A 20-minute power nap helps many people to work for several more hours. It’s the same with fun – a fun afternoon helps you to work all weekend to finish a paper. All work and no play makes you a terrible minister.
Last – if you are planning to attend Princeton or considering it, please feel free to contact me with questions. If you will be there for the 2013-14 year (my senior year), please find me and we’ll chat. I live in the area and expect to do so after graduation, so I’ll be around.
My Experience as a Second-Career Student at Princeton Seminary, part 1
I’m a senior at Princeton Theological Seminary. I’m also a second-career student – my first career was in the Information Technology field for 20 years. I live off campus at my home near the seminary. This makes me unusual at PTS. I’m an odd duck, but this duck has learned to swim. Hopefully other ducks can learn from my experiences.
This seminary is really set up to provide a residential experience. The dormitories are surrounding the quad and are near the classroom and other buildings. The apartment housing is separated from the main campus by several miles, but forms a community of its own. PTS has intentionally created a residential community where people will interact outside of class as well as inside. Living off campus I miss some of that. A duck in another pond, as it were, visiting occasionally.
The student population is overwhelmingly in their twenties. There is a small but significant percentage of people who are older – anywhere from thirties through sixties – but for the most part the students either came straight from college or had a couple of years between college and seminary. In my mid-40’s, that makes me unusual. An older duck.
Last, the seminary does not allow part-time study for the M.Div. degree. There is limited part-time study for the M.A. degrees. There are very few evening classes and I have yet to see one designed for Masters’ students. The expectation is that school is your first priority.
It’s important to know that the seminary knows that it has set things up a certain way, catering to the needs of mostly-younger students who live on campus. It’s not designed to make things harder for second-career students or to turn them away but we need to realize that we are a small population. There are beginning to be signs that they recognize the need for part-time studies, and that the percentage of students who are older is increasing. But so far, it’s a twentysomething full-time on-campus world.
I think that I have found my way through that. It’s easier for me because my wife works and has a well-paying job, so I am able to attend school full-time without needing a lot of outside work. It’s also nice to come home to a single-family house rather than a dorm room or apartment on campus. But I miss things that happen on campus and it’s a different experience.
Here are some thoughts on what you should know and what I recommend that you do if you’re a duck like me, in order to get the fullest experience on campus. The first thought today, another three in the next post.
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1. They’re so YOUNG. Yeah, they are. It’s a bit jarring the first time that you have a conversation with someone and realize that they were born after you graduated from high school. Some of your classmates are about the right age to be your children. For some older students, their children are older than their classmates. It takes some getting used to. You will make references to things from your youth that get blank stares. You will remember events that were just history book entries for your classmates.
You have something to learn from them. They speak the language of younger generations, and you will someday minister to those generations. Many of your younger peers come from college with a Religion degree, while your degree may be in something else entirely (in my case, Computer Science). They will know things that are really useful in class that you have to catch up on. They may have greater technological savvy than you do (though maybe not – at seminary we joke that there is no math requirement).
Even more important than that is the fact that we all grow and mature at different rates. You will be more mature than some of your younger peers. Some of them may be more mature than you. All of us are on a journey of growth and discernment of vocation and theology and becoming who God calls us to be. We are developing our pastoral identities. We have something to learn from the younger folks, and they have something to learn from us.
So a few things to do. DO make friends with younger folks. Try to experience life through their eyes as well as through your own. You will be helpful with life experience. They will be helpful with perhaps more energy than you have, and their differing life experiences. Spend time with them doing what they enjoy. Introduce them to what you enjoy. Share common enjoyment. You’ll find that you learn as much from them as they do from you, and that this a gift to both parties.
DO make friends with the other second-career people on campus. PTS runs a second-career group (up to 40) and a third-career group (40 and older) through the chapel office. Take advantage of those lunches. Find the people that you can talk to when you need to have a conversation without explaining Reagan’s presidency or the Saturday-morning cartoons that you watched when you were a kid. Find the people who learned to learn the same way that you did so many years ago. Find the people who share the life stage that you are in, and know what you are dealing with.
This list continues tomorrow with part 2.
Sermon – Where is the Church? Transfiguration Sunday, February 10, 2013
Filed under: Princeton Seminary, Religion, Seminary, Sermons
Sermon preached by Mark Smith at Watchung Avenue Presbyterian Church, North Plainfield, NJ
Audio: Mark Smith Sermon 2013-02-10 Luke 9 Transfiguration Sunday
Psalm 99
Luke 9:28-43
It was a really unusual experience for Peter, John and James. It started simply enough – Jesus took them off onto a mountain to pray. And that wasn’t all that unusual – Jesus was known for praying in isolated places and had gone to a mountain to pray before. He had prayed with his disciples before as well.
While he was praying, things started to happen. Jesus’s face changed. His clothes became a glowing white – in Greek it says that his clothes were so bright that they flashed like lightning. Maybe these disciples knew their Jewish scriptures well enough to remember that Moses’s face had shone when Moses spoke to God. Maybe they remembered how the sky flashed with lightning when Ezekiel saw his vision of God, or when Daniel saw the figure in his vision that was clothed in fine linen and who had a face like lightning.
And then they were joined by two figures, Moses and Elijah. I imagine that this looked a little bit like the end Star Wars, where the deceased Jedi appeared to Luke Skywalker. Moses and Elijah spoke to Jesus and told him of his departure – of his future death and resurrection at Jerusalem. Peter and the others saw all of this even though they were sleepy – they saw Jesus’s glory, and the return of the man who received the Law from God, and the Prophet of God. This was a holy moment.
And then Moses and Elijah left. Peter asked Jesus if they should build three tents – one for Jesus, one for Moses and one for Elijah. Peter recognized them as three holy figures, heavenly figures, and wanted to create a special home for them here on earth. The word in Greek in the scripture that I read, that read as “dwelling,” can also mean “Tabernacle.” And the famous Tabernacle was the tent that God instructed Moses to construct to hold the Ark of the Covenant – God’s home on earth among the Israelites from the time of their wandering in the wilderness. That Tabernacle was used until God commanded Solomon to build The Temple in Jerusalem to be God’s place. Peter wanted to create a single place to commemorate the holy moment for these three great holy men, as if holy things happened in one place. The text says that Peter did not know what he was saying – he reacted reflexively, mirroring what had been done before.
Then a cloud appeared and enveloped them, very much like the way that a cloud covered Mount Sinai when Moses spoke to God. God spoke from the cloud. “This is my Son, my Chosen. Listen to him!” And this is a lot like the words that we heard at Jesus’s baptism. God says that Jesus is God’s son. And this time we are told to listen to him.
In the time of the Old Testament, from Moses until Jesus, there was one place that they might have called the church back then, and that was the Tabernacle that was carried around from place to place in Moses’s time. In the psalm that I read it talks about God sitting enthroned on the cherubim – and that’s what the top of the Ark looked like. If you’ve seen Raiders of the Lost Ark it looks exactly like it’s described in the Bible, and there are the two winged cherubim with their wings pointing towards the center, and that’s where the priests made their sacrifices to God, to fulfill God’s covenant with the Israelites. Later the place of this church settled in the Temple in Jerusalem. The church was in a building, at least a temporary building. God’s main way of interacting with God’s people was in one place.
A day after all of these things happened on the mountain Jesus and the disciples came down, and a man came to them because his son needed healing, and Jesus healed his son. The man didn’t need to go to The Temple in Jerusalem. He didn’t need to go to the top of the mountain where Moses and Elijah had appeared. He met Jesus where the man was – at the bottom of the mountain. He met Jesus in the world, not inside of a church building.
Jesus did most of his work in the world, rather than in a building. He did appear in the Temple, and he appeared in the synagogue a few times, but most of his work was done outside, among the people. He worked with people as he traveled. He worked with people as he preached outdoors, on a hillside or a lake. He worked with people in their homes. He talked to and ate with and healed and helped people who couldn’t come into the Temple – those who could not walk, those who were ritually unclean, and those who worked in professions that made them less acceptable in the Temple. Jesus did more of his ministry among those who were on the edges of society, than those who were on the inside. He did his work in the world, rather than in a building.
Here at Watchung Avenue, we do a lot of good work inside our building. We meet every week to praise God, to hear the scripture read, and to hear a message. We are a community that is learning and growing and building each other up. We do a lot of good for others in this building as well. We serve meals to those who need them. We collect and distribute groceries. We offer space to Headstart and WIC and the Y. And we share our worship space with Christo mi Rey. We invite others in to learn and grow, as we did with the Love Free or Die movie, with diversity training, and as we will in March with the upcoming Trigger documentary on gun violence. We do a lot of good inside our building when someone is here. The church is where we are.
It becomes an interesting venture, and that is exactly the same ingredient of davidfraymusic.com buy viagra. These can range from abnormal liver function, hair loss, increased risk of infection and slow heart rate. levitra properien In a perfect world, a tablet of viagra pills in canada http://davidfraymusic.com/events/belgrade-serbia/ Generic 100mg should be taken in 24 hours. These are mainly accountable for cachexia or accelerated wholesale cialis price muscle wasting. We also do a lot of good outside of our building. Together we walked in October to raise money to fight hunger. We have been networking with others on hurricane relief and how we might best participate. Our youth and our adults have gone to Stony Point and other places to do mission work. Cameron has been working outside of our building on hunger and disaster relief. We also do a lot of good outside of our building. The church is where we are.
And our lives are God’s work as well. Each of us brings our Christian faith with us … to home, to work, to volunteer. The way that we live is a reflection of Christ within us. I worked in the corporate world for a while before starting seminary, and many times I found myself asking is this thing that I’m doing … this decision or this action … a good idea? Is this software that I’m writing to support an advertising campaign helping people to buy things that they want, or is it just finding new ways to take money from people? Is this report that I’m writing being used to support integrity in the business, or is it just being written to make somebody else in the company look bad? There was simply no way to act in the world without my faith coloring my thoughts and decisions. Sometimes I was able to push back when my faith told me that an action was not the right thing to do. Sometimes I wasn’t able to push back, and then it hurt. So I wonder if you’ve ever faced that – a situation at work where your values conflicted with what you’ve asked to do? How did you handle it? I brought my faith to my work every day. But it’s not just me. We create common everyday miracles of faith when we act with God in mind. When Bob helps someone plan their financial life, Bob is reflecting his Christian faith. His actions and decisions are colored by his faith and he brings the church with him to work. When Pat works with residents in senior housing, she brings her faith with her, and the image of God within her shines through in the help that she gives. She brings the church with her as well. When Virginia goes to the Senior club, she brings her faith along, and brings the church with her in all that she does. When Cori cares for her niece, when Andrew cares for his grandson, they bring their faith into their families and the church comes with them. When Ryan participates in the Boy Scouts, he brings his faith and the church. When Shelby and Chris create their art and music, they use their God-given talents to create beauty in God’s creation. They are inspired in part by their relationship with Christ, and the church comes with them. There are so many other examples in this congregation and everywhere, and if I tried to include all of them we’d be here for a while. What’s important is that the church is where we are, in this building or someplace else.
So what is common to all of this? Is it the building? No, it’s the people. We bring our talents, our time and our energy to the work that all of us do. We bring the image of God that is within each of us to our service to others and our faith and our values ride along with us in everything that we do. Is the church a building? The church is people. Jesus said “Where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there with them.” When we are in the world interacting with others, there are at least two gathered and wherever we are, Christ is. And we bring our community with us as well. We can draw on the resources of the church, on our fellow churchgoers, in everything that we do to help others. We can talk through issues with our church friends – whether that’s a question about what to do at work or where to go to get people the help that they need. And we can always show our faith to others, in the hope that our faith may help them, and perhaps may become their faith. The church exists where we are, doing our common everyday miracles.
I’m going to ask you all a question. This isn’t a rhetorical question – I’m actually looking for an answer.
Where is the church?
“Where we are! … Where we are…we are… where we are!”
OK, not bad. That was a little ragged. (laughter) Let’s try it one more time. Where is the church?
“Where we are!”
OK, and one more time …. Where is the church?
“Where we are!”
And that is a wonderful thing.
Amen.
The Temptation of the First Career for the Second-Career Student
As I’ve said before, I’m a second-career student at Princeton Seminary. My undergraduate degree is in Computer Science, and I spent 20 years (more or less) working in Information Technology in various capacities. A few years back after a few prior years of wondering whether I belonged in corporate America and in IT, I experienced a layoff. That caused me to spend some time thinking about my future, and I decided that some form of ministry was my future. I’m in my second year at Princeton Seminary. I’ve had one very successful summer serving as a Chaplain intern, and I’m interning in a church right now.
One of the things that we are reminded of, often, regularly, all the time, is that we who are in seminary (and the ordination process) are discerning our call and vocation. We are taught that serving the church in some form (pastor, chaplain, seminary staff, etc) are a few possible vocations, but that God calls many people to a “secular” vocation. In that secular vocation, people are called to do their secular job while living their Christian identity. Hardly a week goes by without someone asking us what our sense of call is. I felt a strong call to chaplaincy this summer, and I’m exploring my sense of call to congregational ministry in my current Field Ed placement.
For the first half of the serious discernment about going to seminary, I was also looking for a job in my first career. Many people had told me that discernment is better as a choice between two options, rather than a yes/no choice of one option. There were a few times before I made the decision that I needed to seriously look at seminary when I almost was chosen for a job. I feel that these were God’s way of nudging or shoving me to seminary. The last was a position as a project manager at a local community college, that I missed by “this much” according to someone at the college. That was really the final straw that pushed me to seminary. Interestingly, about a year later (after I’d been accepted, while I was waiting for the fall semester) I got a call back from that college asking if I might be interested in interviewing again for the position – it was open once more. I refused immediately – I had already decided on a different path.
Recently, school has been taking most of my time. For some reason, this middler year at Princeton, with Princeton’s new schedule and Field Ed is requiring a LOT of my time. At the same time, I’ve been offered the chance to work on several small IT projects – some web development, some email migration, some “fix my computer” work. I’ve had to turn down a few and make sure that the rest understand that I’m very busy with school and not as available as I have been in the past (particularly the year before school started).
At the same time, there’s a temptation. The IT work is easy for me, compared to my seminary work. There’s a reason for that … I have years of experience in IT and only a small amount of experience in seminary. I’m doing a lot of “first time I’ve done this” at seminary and in my internships. When a friend needed a quick blog installation last summer, I was able to get a framework installed in an hour – domain name and all. It has taken me more time than that to write a few prayers for Field Ed (it’s faster now). So there’s a temptation to say – “I can DO my first job, why don’t I stop school and go back?”
In the stressed student, this creates a few mental options for what is happening:
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- It’s a test. God is making sure that you are really committed to the path that you are on.
- You’re going down the wrong path. God never really meant for you to go to seminary – you misunderstood and it’s not too late to turn around.
- So somebody offered you a chance to make a little money doing what you used to do. Why not? You can do the job, and it’s easy for you.
- Your future will have pieces of your past and pieces of your future. Keep up the skills.
I’ve tended to see these recent requests in light of option 3, after spending a little time flipping back and forth between 1 and 2. In between flash cards and readings and writing papers, of course.
I believe that in my case, option 4 is the most likely. Why would God call someone this late in life and just throw away all of the skills and experience that were built over those years? At every church that I’ve interacted with, I’ve used my IT skills. Right now I’m scheduled to be the computer/projector guy on Sunday at Field Ed, and I’m working on converting the church’s email to Google. But those aren’t the skills that give me life. Helping people understand God and the message of Christ, helping them process grief or loss or celebration, helping them to worship God – those are the things that are giving me life. The IT job is fun at times – don’t get me wrong. But right now I just can’t see doing it full-time again. I can see ministry in some form being my future full-time – with a little project management and a little IT work in the mix.
And yet, it’s tempting to look back. So I must turn my head and look forward again.
Sermon – Upside Down
Filed under: Candidate Process, Princeton Seminary, Religion, Seminary, Sermons
This sermon was preached as a part of my seminary internship at Watchung Avenue Presbyterian Church, North Plainfield, NJ on Sunday, October 14, 2012. This particular Sunday was Blessing of the Pets Sunday, and a number of dogs and a few cats attended the worship service – this will explain the bark and leash rattling and clicking nails that you hear in the background. This was also my first sermon preached in a church other than my home church.
———————–
Audio: Mark Smith Sermon 2012-10-14
Text: Mark 10:17-31
Jesus was getting ready to head out on a trip when something unusual happened. A man ran up to him, and knelt at Jesus’ feet. This man was different than most of the people who sought Jesus’ attention. His clothes were nicer than most … he probably spoke in a way that marked him as a wealthy man.
Certainly this man had many things on his mind. He “had many possessions” – likely this means that he owned a lot of land. And he had the usual thoughts that go with wealth – how do I use what I have to make more for myself, to give myself security and comfort? How much do I pay my workers? What is the market price today? He didn’t have to worry about paying the rent or the mortgage, or putting food on the table.
But none of these things were on his mind this day. He asked a question – “Good Teacher – what must I do to inherit eternal life?” This man wasn’t worried about making and keeping his fortune, or paying his workers – any short-term worries. No, he was concerned about his own personal spiritual life and living for eternity. He was thinking for the LOOOONG term, and only about himself.
And Jesus gave him the “Christian 101” answer – obey the Commandments. Jesus listed several of them: do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not bear false witness, do not defraud, honor your father and mother – all of these are commandments that speak of how we are to interact with each other. All of them are ways to do right by each other, and therefore be pleasing to God.
The man had studied his Scripture. “Teacher, I have kept these commandments from my youth.” In this the man revealed that he was not the average petitioner – that he was educated in the Jewish Law and had kept that Law while growing up.
At this point, Jesus realizes that the man needs the “Advanced Christian” course – possibly even graduate level study. It’s time for the harder part of being one of his followers. He looked at the man, seeing him as only Jesus could. He loves the man – yes, it says that in the text – and gave him the hard words “You lack one thing. Go and sell everything that you own, and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then, come, follow me.”
These words were hard indeed. This man had worked his whole life to accumulate this wealth. And he believed that he was doing what God wanted him to do. Several places in the Hebrew Scriptures it says that those who obey God’s commandments will be rewarded with prosperity and material wealth. The Hebrew Scriptures also remind us many times and command us to take care of those in need and to transform unjust economic systems. Before speaking to Jesus, he thought he was doing the right thing – that he had found things in Scripture that supported his choice to gather wealth. Jesus saw him and knew differently – that he wasn’t following all of the scriptures, and so Jesus offered a challenge, one that was about more than the man’s own personal question.
It is important to see what he was being offered. The language used here – “follow me” – is the same language that Jesus used earlier in calling his disciples. The man was being offered a chance to become a disciple! But first he must do what the other disciples have done – turn his world upside down. He must give up his personal ideas about what is right and what is wrong, and take up the new way that Jesus offers. He’s quite far along that path – he has already mastered the basic requirements of the Commandments. But to be one of the first Christians, he needs to go further, and take the hard steps of personal sacrifice and re-learning the way that his faith asks him to live. (*bark from pews* – That’s one.)[1]
But he can’t. We don’t know exactly why, but the instruction and invitation cause this man to go away, with sorrow and a fallen face. The text says that he went away because “he had many possessions.” We can only assume that he was unable to accept the changes that are caused by following Christ – the turning of his world upside down that comes with the belief in Jesus.
Belief in Jesus brings a lot of upside-down to our lives, and to the lives of those who knew him. Jesus lived in a way that crossed the rules of Jewish society. He lived according to values that were not necessarily held by the culture that he was a part of. Jesus regularly associated with people who were not acceptable to most – tax collectors, lepers, even prostitutes. Jesus regularly broke the rules about what you can and cannot do on the Sabbath, and helped people to eat and to heal. Taking care of those in need and showing them respect were important parts of Jesus’ teaching.
Lately I’ve been reading the book “Tuesdays with Morrie” by Mitch Albom. This is the true story of a young man, established in his career, who goes back to Boston to visit his professor, a professor who is dying. They meet once a week for fourteen weeks, and just talk. One day they talked about the culture that we live in. Morrie, who is the professor, said “People are only mean when they are threatened. And that’s what our culture does. That’s what our economy does. Even people who have jobs in our economy are threatened, because they worry about losing them. And when you get threatened, you start looking out only for yourself. You start making money a god. It is all part of this culture.” This is just as true today as it was in 1995 when Morrie said it, and it was true in Jesus’ time as well. The rich man was a part of a culture like that – where most people valued wealth and power rather than doing right by each other.
Following Jesus calls us to believe and think and do things that cross the values of our own society. While parts of society tell us that building up wealth and personal security are the most important values, our faith calls us to help those in need – those who are not doing as well – financially, physically, or spiritually. Society tells us to imitate each other, particularly in consumption – getting the latest smart phone or television or car – while our faith calls us to love each other as we love ourselves. Society today pushes us to think first of ourselves, then of the community, while Jesus saw everything as a communal. What would it look like if those of us who have enough money … and maybe a little more … gave some of that to others? What would it look like if we increased our priorities in this congregation on mission giving and mission service in our community? What would it look like if those who have skills and free time found a way to help others with their needs? These actions show our upside down values – values that don’t match the world around us, but do match our faith, values that show that we are committed to the community. Consider what following those upside-down values might look like.
Millard Fuller was a self-made millionaire from Alabama, who at the age of 29 was facing physical, relational and spiritual challenges because of his success. He was experiencing a crisis about the kind of life that he was leading. And after doing some soul-searching, he – along with his wife – decided to recommit himself to his Christian background. He and his wife decided to sell everything that they own, gave the money to the poor, and looked for a way to live their faith. They went to live at Koinonia Farm in Americus, Georgia and searched for a way to apply themselves to the problems of the world in a Christian way. Ultimately, they focused on housing for the poor. They felt that what the poor needed was help getting started, rather than charity, in order to build a new life for themselves. They began working to build modest houses with no-profit, no-interest loans, and they asked the new homeowners to build “sweat equity” in their home and the homes of others in the program by working on the buildings. In doing so, they reduced the cost of each house to something that the homeowners could afford, and also allowed the homeowners to build pride in their work, as well as strong relationships. In 1976, this organization became Habitat for Humanity, which has now built over 500,000 homes. Fuller is quoted as saying, “I see life as both a gift and a responsibility. My responsibility is to use what God has given me to help people[2] in need.” Fuller heard Jesus’ call to turn his life upside down and follow him.
This example is very much like the choice that the rich man in our passage faced, and in Mr. Fuller we have a man who chose to take that other option. While the changes that he made in his life, after a decision to align that life with the call of Jesus, helped to heal his broken soul they did so much more than that. These changes allowed for something new to begin and grow, helping to bring about the mission of God in our world.
So this leaves us with a few questions to ponder –
What is Christ calling you to do that is at odds with the messages of the world, in a big way or in a small way? Are you being called to leave something behind that doesn’t match your Christian values? Are you being called to use free time or resources that you have today to do something to help others? Can you pray for the needs of others?
How are you asked to act in a way that is upside down, and yet right?
How are you asked to act in a way that is upside down, and yet right?
May we all find a way to follow the call of Jesus in our lives, so that the community can reap the rewards that God has in store for all of us. Amen.
[1] Before the service, during Announcements, the pastor quoted something I’d said before the service in her office: “My rule is that if you bark three times, you come up and preach the sermon.”
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[2] The original quote says “his people”.
Seminarian Mark Smith Preaching
Deacon Sunday Sermon – Nudges and Shoves – 5/22/2011
Filed under: Candidate Process, Religion, Seminary, Uncategorized, Young Adult, Youth
Below is the sermon that I preached yesterday for Deacon Sunday at my church. At my church, the Deacon President preaches for this service.
First Old Testament Reading: Psalm 139:1-18
Second Old Testament Reading: Jonah 1:1-4,7,11-12,15-2:1,2:10-3:3a
Audio: Here
Have you ever wondered what you should be when you grow up? Whenever you might grow up?
Have you ever wondered if you are doing today what you are supposed to be doing?
Yeah, me too.
Parker Palmer in his book Let Your Life Speak quotes a poem from May Sarton:
Now I become myself
It’s taken time, many years and places.
I have been dissolved and shaken,
Worn other people’s faces ….
The journey of discovering who we are is often a long one, a winding journey, and one that has almost as many steps back as forward. In the church, we call the destination “vocation”.
We often associate vocation with a job in the church, but vocation is so much more than that. God gives each of us gifts, and calls each of us to a job or a role in life – a vocation – that will use those gifts in the best way. In essence, we are called to discover who we are – who God has made us to be – and once we find it to be that person as best as we can. You may be called to a role in the church, or perhaps another career in medicine, law, advertising, sports, or science just to name a few.
The good news is that God already knows who we are meant to be. In the Psalm we heard this morning it says: “In your book were written all the days that were formed for me, when none of them as yet existed.” Some people call this God’s Plan for Us, but I believe it’s simpler than that – it’s God’s revelation of who we are.
And we’re not alone in finding out who we are. God is present in the journey, and nudges us along the way. Those nudges take a lot of different forms. Most are subtle – an internal tug within ourselves to something that interests us, a thought that seems to have come from outside of our self, or the words of encouragement of a trusted friend or mentor, or an insight after reading something. Some are more like shoves, not as subtle, taking the form of dreams or visions or hearing an actual voice – and many of the stories in the Bible take that form. However we hear the message, God is with us, and will not let us go until we understand. It just takes time.
Jonah heard God’s voice at the beginning of today’s scripture. It was a little more than a nudge, but less than a shove. The shoves came later.
Jonah was a prophet, and as such likely accustomed to transmitting the word of God to others. In this story, God tells Jonah to go to Nineveh, and cry out against it for God had seen the wickedness of that city. At the time, Nineveh was an enemy of Israel, and this was a dangerous message, to be delivered to the enemy.
Jonah heard the message of God very clearly, but decided not to follow it. And the nudge didn’t quite work in this case. Albert Schweitzer was also nudged by God into his first career, through much subtler means.
Albert Schweitzer heard his early call through a still, small voice. The son and grandson of preachers, Dr. Schweitzer himself chose theology and philosophy as his areas of study at the University of Strasbourg, ultimately earning a PhD at the age of 22. One of his professors advised him to consider a teaching position in philosophy, but he chose theology as his primary focus. In his autobiography he says, “to me preaching was an inner necessity. The opportunity to speak every Sunday to a congregation about the essential questions of life seemed to me wonderful.” From his earliest years his call to ministry was expressed through his internal spirit – through his gifts and interests given to him at his creation. And so he went on to succeed in his field, serving a church, leading a theological seminary, and publishing a famous work of theology.
Sometimes God speaks to us through ourselves, by giving us interest in a particular subject, or through us hearing someone else tell us what they see as our gifts. Schweitzer heard that quiet call to ministry in his early career.
My own story of becoming my true self starts with a bit of nudging as well.
I was a lot like some of the youth in this church when I was in high school. I was quite involved in the church, serving as a Deacon and going to Triennium, working at Camp Johnsonburg and serving in the higher levels of the Presbyterian church system. I was also a bit of a geek, taking every computer course my high school had, playing in the band and serving on the stage crew.
I started at Rutgers feeling that I was headed one of two ways – either to a future in the ministry, or to a future working in the computer field – and I started by taking courses in both. Then I had a bad experience on campus, and a few months later I saw a few odd things happen in my work in the greater church. And I came to the conclusion that the church was about a small group of people trying to control the actions and beliefs of a larger group of people. As a result I quit my church roles and walked away. I was done with the church, though not done with God.
More than 15 years later, I reconnected with the church through the camp. One summer Sunday while volunteering, I began to form an inner question – whether or not I should be attending a church again every Sunday. Talking with others I discovered that this was a common question, and I worked with the camp staff to develop a weekend retreat to help adults figure out whether or not to return, and if so how to find the right church for them.
Guided by what I learned at the retreat, my search process led me to Lawrenceville (with a few well-placed nudges from Alicia Pasko Morrison and Jill van den Heuvel). That was in 2006. Shortly after that, invitations from individuals and the congregation brought me to my work with the Deacons and with the youth.
All throughout this time I began to periodically wonder if I was in the right job. I’d been working in Information Technology for 20 years at this point, and I began to wonder if the world of machines and concentrating on the bottom-line and career advancement was where I belonged. My co-workers tell me that I would light up when I talked about my church work, particularly with the youth. I starting thinking about and researching seminary. I bought the Parker Palmer book that is referenced earlier and in the bulletin, and spent lunchtime at work reading it to try to figure out what I was feeling and hearing around vocation. Something was beginning to change.
There are three questions that I have for you to consider today about your own journey. The first question is this – when have you heard a nudge from God in your life? When have you made a choice without really knowing why you did? When has someone else said to you “You really should consider” this or that, often without knowing why they were asking the question? Has God nudged you? Is God nudging you today?
Sometimes God gives us a shove, because we need it.
Jonah decided to turn from God’s direction. He hot-footed it out of town and boarded a ship to Tarshish as a passenger, directly in the opposite direction of Nineveh.
While Jonah was on the ship to Tarshish, God turned to shoves. God caused a great storm to come up on the sea and put the ship in danger. This storm was bad enough that it scared even the seasoned sailors on board. The crew, realizing that Jonah was the cause of their trouble, asked him what they should do to him, so that God would end the storm. Jonah, apparently seeing that he was putting their lives in danger as well as his own, told them to throw him overboard so that the sea would become quiet for them. Jonah understood that he had taken a course against God, and begins to show signs of a change of heart – at least as far as putting others in danger.
Finally in desperation the crew pleaded directly to God. They asked for God’s forgiveness for what they were about to do, and then threw Jonah overboard, expecting him to drown and at that point the sea calmed.
Jonah expected to drown, in order to save the ship and the crew. But instead, something fantastic happened. He was swallowed up by large fish. And scripture tells us that he lived in the belly of the fish for three days and three nights.
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One summer day in Schweitzer’s 21st year he awoke, and lying in bed he pondered his good fortune. Before he finally arose he had reached a decision – he would pursue his passions and scholarship until he was 30, and after that he would devote himself directly to serving humanity. The exact nature of how he would do that wasn’t yet clear, but the direction was.
Another morning eight years later he found a copy of the magazine of the Paris Missionary Society on his writing table. He was about to put the magazine down and take up his studies when an article caught his eye – “Les besoins de la Mission du Congo” – The needs of the Congo Mission. The article spoke of the mission of the society in the French colony of Congo – the mission that was founded by Robert and Isabelle Nassau, who were members of this church. The author of the article expressed the hope that his appeal would bring some of those “on whom the Master’s eyes already rested” to a decision to offer themselves to this work, concluding “Men and women who can reply simply to the Master’s Call, ‘Lord, I am coming,’ those are the people that the Church needs.” Schweitzer’s autobiography states the working of God in his heart very simply: “I finished the article and quietly began my work. My search was over.”
Albert Schweitzer expressed the shove as a clear call – through the words of a magazine writer but nonetheless directed clearly at him.
For me, the shoves started in the summer of 2008 – a summer of extremes.
The high for the summer was the youth conference trip. Our church staff and advisors led a group of youth and young adults to the Montreat Youth Conference for what was my first time at the Montreat center. The trip connected me with my prior church life in ways as subtle as listening to Sheridan singing while Rich played guitar, to ways as extraordinary as an experience that I had during a worship service that I can only call a vision. It was made clear to me that week that while I had been considering my past church experiences and my present church experiences two separate parts of my life’s story, they were actually one journey. I left Montreat feeling the best I’d felt in a very long time, and at the same time wondering even more whether I still fit in the corporate world that I lived in every day.
And then 10 days later, I was laid off from my job – a job that I’d held for over 13 years. And … in one morning I was cut off from my income, from the large part of my sense of self-worth that was wrapped up in my job, and from the friends that I saw everyday. I was isolated, spending a much larger part of my day alone at home. I’m an introvert, but at some point being alone that much becomes too much.
To this day I’m still not sure of God’s part in my layoff. At the time it felt very much like I was being kicked out of the nest – that I needed to get out of my old job and consider the church as a career. Or maybe it was a little like being thrown into the sea.
For the next 18 months I searched for another Information Technology job, with no success.
In December of 2009, I interviewed for and was nearly chosen for an IT job in a non-profit organization, indirectly supporting youth. After a few weeks I was told that another candidate was selected – that it was “this close” – and I was devastated. I began to wonder why God had chosen to ignore my prayers, had left me standing alone. Through my work on the Deacons and in the church, I very clearly saw God at work in other people’s lives, but not in mine.
A few days after New Years God gave me another shove.
One particular morning, I was lying in bed and suddenly had the feeling that I was standing up next to my bed. Next to me, on my left, was this sort of orange-colored, milky, cloud – about the size of a person. It was completely clear to me that this was God. At the same time I got the sense of two things happening at once.
The first thing was that I was standing looking out into the world, and God was standing next to me looking into the world. Both of us were silent but fully present to each other. God was there for me.
The other thing that was happening at the time was a sense that I was standing looking into the world, and God was facing me … screaming and gesturing at the top of God’s lungs, gesturing wildly … and I wasn’t getting any of it. The idea was very clear – that God wasn’t ignoring me, but that I just wasn’t hearing the message.
Through all of this I had a sense of eerie calm that I’d only felt once before – during the vision at Montreat. It felt like all of my troubles were lifted and that all was right with the world.
And then it ended, and I was back lying in bed.
A couple of weeks later I was having a rough morning and a friend offered to have coffee. She is a pastor in the area, and a recent graduate from Princeton Seminary. During the conversation I talked about what was bothering me and I inexplicably found myself asking her for information and advice on attending seminary. That started a more earnest process of discernment about seminary and a call to ministry.
So, my second question to you is: When have you felt a shove from God? Has God ever reached out to you to tell you something in a way that made you just Stop and take notice? Is God shoving you today?
Throughout all of the disruptions in life, God is still with us. God walks beside us on the journey that God has made.
God was still with Jonah even after he was thrown overboard. After three days in the fish, Jonah was ready to talk to God. In a poetic prayer, Jonah speaks of his distress after being thrown into the water, and how he cried out to God. Jonah spoke of being distant from God, never again to be in God’s sight, but that God pulled him up out of the water. Jonah prayed that he would do what he had originally vowed to do.
And at that point, God caused the fish to spit Jonah out onto dry land, and Jonah again heard the voice of God telling him to go to Nineveh. And this time, he did, proclaiming God’s word there.
And the people there responded, and in turn were spared.
Albert Schweitzer had a happy ending as well, with God’s help.
Over the next eight years Dr. Schweitzer concluded his work at the seminary and began his medical studies to become a doctor. At the age of 38, he reached the mission at Lambarene and began his work. In his two trips to Africa before and after World War One he re-established a clinic from the ground up that had a capacity of 200 patients.
I concentrated for the rest of last year on discerning whether or not God is calling me to seminary and the ministry. I met with a number of people and audited a class at the seminary. The Session of this church and the presbytery have taken me under care in the official “becoming a Presbyterian minister” process. My wife and I have worked hard at discernment of what the changes to our life will be, and have planned for school and the future. I will be starting my Master of Divinity degree at Princeton Seminary this summer.
And God has been with me, though at times I didn’t quite see it. This church, particularly Jill Cifelli, Rich, some youth and some friends, supported me, as well as my friends from Facebook and Twitter. The church and the Deacons in particular gave me a place to use my time and talents for good and I found myself choosing to work for the church to fill my time. I also had the support of my loving wife who rode the rollercoaster with me, going through her own journey that my situation caused as I went through mine. God was there to support me through the long dark time.
So here’s the third question – when have you felt God with you on your journey? How have you felt God’s support during the hard times? Who has been the face of God to you?
God is with us. God has known each of us from the moment that we existed, and knows who we are meant to be. God helps us along the way in ways both quiet and still, and loud and unusual. With God’s help, each of us can find the way in God’s time to becoming the best person that we can be.
And that is good.
Amen.
Life-status update
It’s been a while since I posted. I’ll give you an update on what I’m up to.
The pre-seminary process is in full swing. I’ve filled out all of the forms and got all of the vaccinations (an over-40 returning student missed a few that are now required for school). After a long process of talking to current and former seminarians and professors and pastors, I chose and registered for summer Greek – a year’s worth of Greek language taught in 2 months. So for me school starts on July 11. I’ve also been up to the seminary a few times in the last few weeks – to attend Theologiggle, the play (The Merchant of Venice – excellent production!), and a BGLASS event. Princeton Seminary still feels comfortable to me. I continue to be amazed at how many people there I already know – most from non-seminary connections.
Next week I’ll be there again for most of the week for the Institute for Youth Ministry forums. During that week I’ll be meeting with my mentor for the Youth Ministry Certificate. I recently asked a number of folks at my church to complete a 360-degree review of me in my ministry and I’ll receive those results.
In the middle of May I’ll be attending a laid-back ministry conference.
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I’ve also had the opportunity to connect with my CPM liaisons and that process is started and continuing.
In conclusion – everything is pointed in the right direction and moving for my seminary time and the future. The obstacles so far have mostly been minor and surmountable.
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