5 Comments on Is Shame a Sin?

Quotidian Grace on Tue, 2nd Oct 2007 4:37 pm


Here’s my totally uneducated response for what it’s worth.

I think shame is a symptom or evidence of sin–not sin itself. If we admit a sin, repent and ask forgiveness, shame about that repented sin should not be something we dwell on.

I think there are two sides to the question of whether shame is a sin of the person who causes it to be felt. If the person is calling attention to our sin in love so that we will admit it and repent, then that person is not sinning (assuming that person is going to forgive us if we ask for it). If however, that person is calling attention to the sin in order to be judgmental and “cast stones”, then that person is sinning by acting in an unloving, judgmental way.

Either way the sin is not shame–but either the sin that shame evidences or the attempt to judge or gain power over another by trying to shame them.

Make sense?

will spotts on Tue, 2nd Oct 2007 7:03 pm


Excellent question.

I do not believe it is sin. But it is not always appropriate. There are things we do that are shameful or worthy of shame – and shame is the correct response. To me this is like guilt – it can be false or it can actually be a legitimate response to a real problem.

There are other times when we feel shame (or guilt, for that matter) over things that aren’t wrong. I wouldn’t call this a sin because I don’t think it is really a moral issue so much as an inappropriate response.

I think QG is right that doing something that causes shame in another can in certain circumstances be correct, but in most cases isn’t. I would like to point out the coercive nature of shame – and the fact that much of the time people will do a great deal to not feel ashamed. It sets us up for manipulation on a grand scale.

Take body image, for instance – very few people are really happy with the way they look. But most of the time they’re reacting to things, and literally ashamed of things, that are arbitrary. This is one of the engines that drives our economy… diet foods, exercise products, weight loss pills, hair color, baldness treatments, toenail fungus treatments, anti-aging products … how miserable people make themselves because we are ashamed when we shouldn’t be; and how much money those who cynically manipulate us make.

[Sorry for the tangent, but if it works in this area, it also works in a host of others – behaviors are manipulated by appealing to shame – what people wish was not true about themselves. Isn’t there enough misery in the world that is unavoidable without adding to it in order to get a desired financial, political, or interpersonal goal?]

Mark on Wed, 3rd Oct 2007 8:43 am


OK, next question.

Is causing shame in others a proper way to try to change their behavior to what you feel is more Christian?

I’m not talking about education here where proper behavior is explained, I’m talking about the intentional use of shame – making others to feel badly because they do not conform to what you believe is proper behavior.

There’s another link to the chain of thought beyond this one that will probably become a post.

jodie on Wed, 3rd Oct 2007 9:29 pm


Mark,

Shame is not a sin, but it can lead to sin or be the result of sin.

The business of trying to shame someone in order to manipulate them, I think that’s a sin too. Its a form of mental abuse.

will spotts on Thu, 4th Oct 2007 2:13 am


Mark – in response to your follow up question: In my opinion, almost always no.

Sometimes it is inadvertant – sometimes expressing what you believe right and wrong will cause that reaction. Sometimes even actions you take you believe right will prompt it. I personally have no problem with that – though I’m aware things I have said have done this as a side effect. Some people can do this with the utmost graciousness. Most of us can’t.

I don’t believe it is OK to falsely let people think you believe their actions right when you don’t. This varies greatly with the circumstance – but suppose you witness someone being deliberately cruel to another person? Do you let this pass? I don’t think so. Or similarly, suppose you see someone take an action they are unaware will cause harm – again, I don’t think you’d be right to not say anything. This is not for the purpose of causing shame.

I realize these particular circumstances can be used to rationalize a rather large set of exceptions. I’m not sure how to work out the details.

In general, though (e.g. 95% or more of the time) using shame to try to change behavior can be effective, but is, IMO outright wrong. I say this both because it is coercive (and therefore unfair) and because the side effects to the one shamed are usually very negative.

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