Reconnecting with Faith – Finding Your Home retreat 2007 – How’d it go?
The Reconnecting with Faith – Finding Your Home retreat was a big success this past weekend at Camp Johnsonburg!
We had 10 paying participants, plus 4 staff (and a few other camp folks floating in and out during the weekend). The participants were a very diverse group in several dimensions. We had people from age 20-something to age “I don’t want to guess and be wrong”. We had people in churches, people not in churches, and people looking at alternatives to Christianity. We had some racial diversity. We had theological diversity in that we had folks all along the spectrum from conservative to progressive. Most of us came from a Presbyterian (PCUSA) background, and there were a few Catholics in the group. We had 3 couples, a few singles, and a few married folks whose spouses didn’t attend.
The weather was a bit cold (particularly Friday, though it wasn’t the 4-degree F cold that the camp folks had to put up with before we arrived Friday morning). There was just the right amount of snow on the ground; we got a little each night – just enough to cover the ground but not enough to slow us down. The lake was frozen over except for an oval about 1/3 of the size of the lake. The geese and swans were camped out on the frozen part.
We began the weekend by doing some get-to-know-you games Friday evening, followed by some fellowship and food time. We also outlined the Johnsonburg standard core values of “No Discount” (of yourself or others), “Challenge by Choice” and Permission-Giving. Because some of the participants knew each other outside of the retreat and the knowledge that someone might want to leave their church could be dangerous in the wrong hands, we added a new rule – “What happens at Johnsonburg stays at Johnsonburg”.
Saturday morning, we had a very emotional and uplifting session where each group member was able to tell the story of their faith journey. These stories brought the group even closer together and allowed each to unburden themselves of the reasons that they might be looking to join a church or switch churches or leave the church. A participant said it best: “Mark and I can’t really do justice to the beauty of the stories that were told at the retreat this weekend.”
Saturday afternoon we did some brainstorming: what people wanted in a faith community, what people were looking to avoid in a faith community, and what stumbling blocks were keeping them from making progress in discerning whether or not to join a faith community and if so, which. This session provided some good ideas for each person when they are considering a new faith community.
Saturday afternoon we had some free time. Some of us took a 4-mile hike along the Yellow and Red Trails, while others connected with each other, relaxed, or even napped. The camp canteen was open for a while so that folks could purchase a souvenir of their retreat experience.
Saturday evening, we completed the afternoon activity by brainstorming ideas on how to look for a new church. Use of the Internet, friends, neighbors, coworkers, church visits, church staff and other resources were highlighted. Those who had taken this route before were able to add their own experience to the bounty of ideas.
We then experienced a fascinating lecture – Spirituality 101. In 90 minutes, our retreat’s minister leader went through the breadth of spiritual options in the world, along with the options within Christianity and the historical reasons for the number of denominations that we have. It was amazing – I’ve had full semester religion classes that contained less information than this presentation.
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Later Saturday evening we had food and fellowship again, with S’mores and Banana Boats cooked on the fireplace in the dining hall.
Sunday morning after breakfast (including a wonderful body prayer for grace) we began with Quiet Time. A number of the group ventured out into the cold to walk the camp’s outdoor labyrinth in the quiet stillness of the sunny winter morning.
We followed that with a worship service planned by the retreat participants WITHOUT the aid of the religious professionals. The service was very camp-like and yet still had all of the reverence of a church service.
After worship we concluded with evaluations, lunch, and an invitation to enjoy the camp facilities for the rest of the day.
For this retreat, the people ARE the program. I’d like to thank the folks pictured above for their wonderful contributions. I’d also like to thank all of them for the mutual respect that we all felt – in this era of Christians tearing each other apart we were able to assemble a group from all parts of the spectrum who worked together to help each other while respecting the conscience of each of us.
I’d also like to thank the Johnsonburg staff who helped plan/staff/support the retreat – including Lorelei, Kurt, Alicia, Harry, Josh, Shelly, and everybody else. Additionally, I’d like to thank Dave Myers, who served as our minister-in-residence and all-around expert on things religious.
Based on feedback received, there’s a pretty good chance that we’ll try to do this retreat again. Watch this space or the camp website sometime this fall for more information. As I’ve stated before, any suggestions on how to advertise this retreat to the target audience (particularly those NOT in a church at the moment) would be appreciated.
If you have any questions about this retreat, please feel free to contact Lorelei at the camp or me.
And the schism begins ….
The New Wineskins Association has published a proposed Strategy Report (warning – large PDF – over 150 pages) calling for a schism from the PC(USA) denomination.
Well, OK. It doesn’t actually SAY that this is a schism. In fact the report goes out of the way to avoid calling it a schism. But let’s face it – what they want is the wholesale departure of a large number of PC(USA) congregations to another denomination. That’s a schism.
What this group is pushing is for all New Wineskins congregations to leave the PC(USA) and go to the Evangelical Presbyterian Church. The New Wineskins group will ask the EPC General Assembly next June to allow for non-geographical presbyteries. They will then ask to create a New Wineskins EPC presbytery to contain all New Wineskins PC(USA) congregations that want to leave. That presbytery will be self-governing, and all officers and congregations will be required to the Essential Tenets of the New Wineskins Association AND their Ethical Imperatives. It should be noted that “destructive speech, unforgiveness” are listed in their Ethical Imperatives, though they use PLENTY of such speech in their Strategy Paper. At some point this presbytery can either be folded into the EPC or possibly create a new denomination – the EPC and this presbytery will hold discussions over time on which way to go.
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Those interested in the roots of this schism should read a document from Perspectives (published by the PC(USA) Office of the General Assembly) titled Presbyterians and Separatist Evangelicals: A Continuing Dilemma. This is admittedly written by from a leftward leaning point of view, but it is a very scholarly document that shows the roots of our ongoing controversies and splits.
And for God’s sake – let’s get this over with and move on.
The Lawrenceville Presbyterian “Green Team”
Last night I attended the first meeting of the Lawrenceville Presbyterian Church “Green Team”. The Green Team is charged with:
- Reducing the church’s
environmental footprint - Increasing our visibility
- Educating our community
- Inspiring our community
- Connecting with other organizations
- Advocating for public policy change
- Connecting our efforts with our faith
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The primary focus to start is to come up with and estimate ideas for the church’s upcoming capital campaign. To that end we are talking about solar panels on the church, insulation, central A/C and/or geothermal energy for the manse (which is currently using window air conditioners), motion detector light switches, bike racks for parishioners, etc.
I went into the meeting thinking that I’d be really useful to the team given my experience with solar panels for home, a hybrid vehicle, and a few other green ideas from home. It turns out that this church has some seriously committed environmentalists. One man has a nearly-zero-energy home, others have been advocating in the community. I felt like a midget among giants. I hope that I can contribute.
Are We Even in the Same Ballpark?
Today, Toby Brown of Texas posted a blog entry that I find very disturbing.
He handles two different situations.
First, the Rev. Janet Edwards of Pittsburgh Presbytery held a marriage ceremony between two lesbians in September of 2005. She was subsequently charged with performing a same-sex union by members of her presbytery. The presbytery investigated and filed charges to be tried. She was prepared for a trial, but the presbytery judicial commission dismissed the charges on the basis of being filed 5 days too late. The conservative side cried foul and claimed that there was a setup to make sure the charges were late, but others state that the delay was accidental.
Now, Rev. Brown from Texas has decided to join a group of ministers (presumably from all over the country) to file new charges against her. What those charges will be is unclear, but it seems that they will involve charges that she violated her ordination vows.
Sound like double-jeopardy to you? Yeah, me too. I’m sure that Rev. Edwards is ready for the trial, though.
This all flies in the face of the Definitive Guidance passed last summer in response to the Peace, Unity and Purity report from the last General Assembly meeting, in which presbyteries and session were exhorted to “outdo each other in trust”. Our system is in danger of ceasing to be a church and turning into a bad TV lawyer show if ministers from all over the country are filing charges against other ministers who aren’t in the same presbytery, or even the same synod. Such charges should be local, filed by people who are familiar with the details of the event and the people involved.
Rev. Brown’s second assertion is that any wedding that includes Christian elements and non-Christian elements should not take place. His specific reference is again to Rev. Edwards’ gay wedding, where one of the women was Buddhist. Rev. Edwards did what many ministers of all denominations (including Catholic) do all the time – they marry people of their faith to people of another faith. Often the ceremonies include elements from both traditions to make each family comfortable – the alternative being two ceremonies (which also happens).
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I am a product of a mixed marriage though not one that Rev. Brown would complain about – my wife is Catholic. I was married in a Catholic mass (not just a ceremony – a full mass with Eucharist, though I did not partake). The priest who married us told us about a wedding that he had performed between a Catholic and a Buddhist. He stated that he was very clear to the participants about the issues that a mixed marriage can create, particularly if children are involved.
What bothers me most is the idea that Presbyterians are so strict that they cannot abide reaching out to people of other faiths. This is an issue of hospitality. If I had a Muslim visitor to my home, I would have no trouble if that person felt the need to get up at a certain hour and pray (as long as they were kind enough to try not to wake the rest of us). Shoot, I can see Muslims in a Presbyterian church facing Mecca. My own church houses a Jewish congregation on Saturdays, and has done so for decades.
Apparently, this is too much for Rev. Brown. He expects that in his house, his rules will be followed (note the lowercase h). And his definition of which houses are his seems to include all PC(USA) churches.
This leads me to wonder if I have unequally yoked myself with Presbyterians such as Rev. Brown. (Personally, I interpret that passage to be more about morals than about religious practices, but Rev. Brown specifically mentions it in his blog post comments.) I believe that it is a sin NOT to respect and honor the religious practices of others. We might not choose them for ourselves or recommend them to others, but we should respect the choice of the person involved. And when we put two people together in marriage, I would much rather recognize two religious traditions in one ceremony than drive one or the other person away from their faith.
So that leaves the question – did I make a mistake joining a denomination that has a significant number of leaders who hold such a different belief about people of other religions? Did I make a mistake joining a denomination that has a signficant number of leaders who view respecting other religions as sin?
Let me know what you think. I really am wondering whether my new Presbyterian membership is a mistake.
Statement of Faith
At one point a few months ago, a reader complained (in comments in another blog) that I didn’t include my theology in my blog. At the time I decided not to because it was likely to generate more heat than light.
When searching for and joining my church, I wrote the document below. It was both a tool for me to personally discern my beliefs and a document that I wrote to answer a potential question by the church about my beliefs.
I present it to you now because it’s relatively quiet. I hope that any discussion will be civil. (And yes, the title is a play on the title of a Presbyterian document.)
(You need to click the link below to see the whole thing if you’re reading directly on the blog.)
Holiday Roundup
Here’s a roundup of how the holiday went.
- Flew with my flight instructor for the last time before my instrument rating checkride. Checkride is scheduled for January 6, weather permitting. If I didn’t mention it previously, I got a 95% on my written test.
- Went to 4 hockey Trenton Titans hockey games. Went with friends, family and co-workers the first two (they lost). Went with just Carolyn for the last two (they won).
- Went to 2 services at church on Christmas Eve. First the morning 4th Sunday of Advent service. Then the 11pm Candlelight service, which was lovely and included wonderful music. Then on New Year’s Eve I went in the morning to the regular service (2 baptisms!) and then to the special intimate New Year’s Eve Communion service in the evening (which was also lovely).
- Went to see Mom, Dad, sister, brother and sister-in-law at Mom and Dad’s on Christmas Day. We did the gift exchange thing (which is always hilarious for some reason) and had dinner. Good time. Everybody seemed to like my gifts and vice versa.
- Discovered a flat tire the afternoon of 12/26. 30 minutes to replace with the spare – 1 hour to get it fixed and reinstalled at the local Goodyear.
- On 12/26, Carolyn’s parents came for the Christmas thing and stayed overnight.
- Watched the Rutgers football slaughter of Kansas State in the Texas Bowl. Go RU!
- Got the 15,000 mile service done on the Highlander Hybrid (three days after the tire repair).
- Rested early and often. I’ve been overscheduling myself lately between church, flying, hockey and the rest of my life.
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I had planned to blog on “Buyer’s Remorse” in terms of joining my church, but a few experiences yesterday told me that the issues I planned to blog about are turning around. So I’ll hold those thoughts for now.
Happy New Year!
Is It Time for the PCUSA to Split?
As regular readers know, the PC(USA) denomination is in turmoil. There is a growing divide between conservatives (who call themselves “evangelical” or “Biblically faithful”) and liberals (who call themselves “progressive”). It looks like the fight is over homosexuality, but it’s really over a combination of social ideology (today’s hot-button issues like homosexuality, abortion, and oddly enough property rights) and Biblical inerrancy.
When it comes right down to it, the divide is based on one question: “Do I believe that I have the only True Christian Faith?”
If you answer yes, then the world is divided into two groups: people who believe and behave like you and who are to be applauded, and people who do not yet match your beliefs or behavior and who are to be at best converted/assisted to return to the Truth and at worst vilified.
If you answer no, the the world is divided into many groups. One of the groups believes and behaves the way you do and feels like family. Other groups don’t believe or behave the way you do, but they meet some lesser standard of “do no harm to others” and are to be applauded as finding a “different path to God”. Still other groups are seen as taking a path where their beliefs or lack thereof lead them to do harm to others; these groups are vilified.
The definitions of harm are different between conservatives and liberals as well – conservatives tend to define harm as physical or “leading people away from the True Faith” while liberals tend to define harm as physical, mental, economic, or discrimination based on a number of attributes.
From where I sit, it seems like the pew-sitters in the PC(USA) fall into 3 groups: 20% activist conservative, 70% non-activist, and 10% activist liberal. The officers (elders and deacons) and clergy skew more to the liberal.
The PC(USA) is posed on the brink of a split. One of three things can happen. The denomination could pursue a graceful split, dividing property and churches using principles similar to those used by “still friendly” divorcing couples. The denomination could go through a painful split, with ecclesiastical and civil court cases, lots of name-calling, and heavy losses of membership as people get disgusted and leave. Or, the non-activist middle could rise up and tell the activist conservatives and activist liberals to sit down, shut up, and stop hurting the community.
I favor the “middle rising up” scenario. However, it seems like we are pursuing the “painful split” scenario now.
When I was in high school, I was involved in the Tech Crew. This is usually called “Stage Crew” elsewhere, though we also did lighting and sound for school events that didn’t happen in the auditorium. By the time I was a junior, I had risen to be Lighting Director. We also had a position called Technical Director held by a friend of mine. The two positions were considered co-presidents of the group.
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In senior year, disaster struck. Both of us developed romantic notions for another member of the group. To this day I’m not even sure whether or not she shared romantic feelings for either of us. Throughout the fall of senior year there were a number of ugly incidents (none physical – more passive-aggressive) and the Tech Crew started to show signs of a similar split. There were the 3 of us, a few friends of those 3, and the rest formed the “knock it off” middle. We managed to get things done, but it was clear that the situation was hurting the group.
So, I chose to leave the group for the good of the group. This also ended the friendships with the Technical Director and our lady friend all the way around. Some felt that I took the coward’s way and avoided conflict. Some felt that I should have just let it go and stepped aside of any relationship that they may have had. Others were sad to see me go but understood my decision (the adults involved fell into that group). I do know that I no longer had to experience the immediate pain of the disagreements, though I did feel the pain of the loss of part of my life. The group ended up having further problems and while it didn’t split it never regained the level of fun that we’d experienced before the love triangle formed. The knowledge transfer that usually happens as the group ages and a new guard comes in was interrupted, resulting in some permanent loss of knowledge. At least one person had to take over a role that they weren’t prepared to handle.
Does that sound familiar? Replace me with the role of “conservative church leaving the denomination”.
The key question is “Does staying together do more harm than splitting?” More harm to each of us, more harm to the whole. It’s clear that as we spend time fighting amongst ourselves, we are not advancing the Kingdom of God. If anything, we are fragmenting it. And we are losing people to disinterest and disgust.
It’s time for some project management skills. We need to pick a few options and evaluate the upsides and downsides of each. This is the same decision-making process that I use every day in my IT job. It’s the same decision-making process used by doctors when they have a sick patient.
Let’s look at the upsides and downsides of a split. Let’s look at the upsides and downsides of staying together. Let’s look at the upsides and downsides of letting people go peacefully. Let’s pray over all of it, and pick the option that will help us all move forward in the best way for the greatest number – separate or apart.
Most of all, let’s leave the emotions at home. Let’s think and pray, but stop fighting.
An interesting side note: I found the Technical Director mentioned above on the web. From what little is on his website, he has a similar DVD collection, similar interests (indicated by links) and his cats look like mine. Freaky. I’m glad for him that he’s apparently happy.
Reception of New Members
Today the Lawrenceville Presbyterian Church received me (and 15 others) as new members of the church.
All of us were asked to sit up front in the church along with our families. Carolyn joined me this weekend (taking a break from the Catholic thing) and sat with me in the first pew. I think I like it better towards the back. The building looked full – just enough room for everybody to be comfortable rather than crammed in.
The bulletin included a legal size page with our pictures and self-written bios on both sides.
Just after the Children’s Message, we were called up by name to be recognized as new members. One of us, Kate – a student at Princeton Seminary – needed to be baptized. We were all asked the traditional baptism questions as our formal profession of faith, and then Kate was baptized in what has to be the wettest baptism I’ve ever seen in a Presbyterian church (water was actually running down her back). Then the congregation read the Words of Welcome from the Book of Common Worship, and sang a hymn “Blest Be the Tie That Binds” and the congregation was then invited to pass the peace (moved from the beginning of the service). The Peace was as chaotic as usual with the crowd of us tripping over each other. Then we all sat down and the service continued.
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At the end of the service, the group of new members left at the beginning of the last hymn to form a receiving line in Fellowship Hall. I managed to get Carolyn to stand next to me – after all she is part of the family now, too. We then met a huge crowd of people, most of whom who told me their name and few that I remember, and then we had the cake that was specially made for us. We chatted with all sorts of folks and then headed home.
This is the end of the journey that began in August 2005 when another volunteer at Camp Johnsonburg asked me “What church do you belong to?” and I had no answer. It went on to include the Reconnecting with Faith – Finding Your Home retreat at camp and my church search.
While this is the end of the journey back home, it is certainly NOT the end of my spiritual journey. I hope to bring you news as time goes on. I look forward to this church finding a way to pull me into greater involvement – I’m eager to get started but I need help to find that first thing to volunteer for. And I also look forward to telling the story of this successful journey at the new Reconnecting with Faith retreat next January.
I am a Presbyterian, again
Last night, the session of the Presbyterian Church of Lawrenceville, NJ voted to receive me as a member by Reaffirmation of Faith. This ends my nearly 20 year departure from the church (and at least a few years off the rolls anywhere).
I wasn’t alone – there were 15 others joining at this time. Three by Profession of Faith, Six by Reaffirmation of Faith and 7 by Letter of Transfer. As I’ve said before, this was a very diverse group on everything but age. The new members live as far away from Lawrenceville as Lahaska, PA and Bensalem, PA. There are two first-year students at Princeton Seminary. The ages run from early 20’s to “I don’t want to even guess” retired. When you add the non-member spouses (like mine) and young children, the group ends up being more like 25 people.
In fact, we outnumbered the elder members of the session. Because the group was so large, the session had to start their meeting in the chapel and move to their usual spot after the new member portion was complete.
We got started about 7pm with new members and session members filtering into the room. The chairs were arranged in a big circle that just barely fit in the room, and the new members and session members were interspersed throughout the circle.
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After that, the session voted to receive us into membership and to authorize the baptism of one of us. We then said a common prayer and passed the peace. The session then left the room to continue their meeting (being 1/2 hour behind schedule due to our group’s size) and the rest of us headed home.
On Sunday, we will be recognized during the service and one of us will be baptized. We’ve been instructed to sit up front in the reserved pews (along with family) and that we will be called to stand in front of the congregation at some point. During the final hymn we will be escorted out to form a receiving line in Fellowship Hall.
The one funny point of the evening came when one of the new members talked about the music program and choir being part of his reason for choosing Lawrenceville. An elder who is in choir (and who was still jet-lagged from the mission trip to Israel) leaned over and told him when the choir meets. He then informed her that he’s been in the choir for six months! Apparently short women in the soprano section up front can’t see the big guys in the baritone section in back.
Why Lawrenceville?
Tonight, I go before the session of the Lawrenceville Presbyterian Church (NJ) to be received by Reaffirmation of Faith as a new member. There are about 15-20 of us (I think) being received by various methods. To that number you can add 6-10 kids.
A while back, I wrote about my return to the church after an absence of almost 20 years. What I didn’t really put into that post was why I chose this particular church. Apparently, I’m going to be asked that question tonight, so here’s my summary of why (in no particular order).
1. It feels like the church that I grew up in.
That could have been a bad thing (since I had some issues with my original church that were minor contributors to my departure), but I checked on the issues that I had with the church that I grew up in and reportedly they are not a problem here. The way in which Lawrenceville feels like the church that I grew up in are: size (number of members and attendees, size of sanctuary/buildings), service format and content (basically a traditional service with the old standard hymns and a format that I’m used to), music program (wow! can this congregation sing!) and an active youth group.
2. The church has a policy of tolerance for all viewpoints.
A church can either be somewhere along the “conservative” to “liberal” axis, choose to work for tolerance of all viewpoints (within reason), or choose to avoid controversial issues. Based on what I was told (and have seen since), this church shows an unusual tolerance for a wide range of opinion. One story that I was told was about a table at a men’s meeting where a discussion of a controversial issue erupted. Two people staked out the opposite positions, but everybody contributed with opinions all the way across the spectrum on that issue. None of it was heated. That’s what I want – nice respectful academic discussion. Having said that, the church averages out to someplace center to progressive in theology. This is truly a “big tent” within the Presbyterian mold.
3. This church is a thinking church.
There is a big emphasis on adult education and study. Not just “let’s all study the Bible together” but discussions on applying faith to issues.
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4. The church has lots of volunteer opportunities.
There are a lot of things going on. The church wants to have as many people involved as possible – but at the same time doesn’t want to push anybody beyond what they want to do.
5. Church leadership is open and involves lots of people
Unlike other churches that I know (or grew up in), this church rotates a lot of people through it’s leadership roles. At the ordination/installation service that I attended they asked anybody who had ever been an elder or minister to get up and lay hands on the new officers. 1/3 of the congregation got up – a HUGE ratio.
That list was written back in August when I chose this church. Since then, I have also come to realize that there is a warmth to this congregation that might not be apparent to a casual visitor (or a summer visitor, for that matter). Put simply – people care at this church. About each other, about people in the local community, about justice, about evangelism. There is a level of warm commitment – not just words or slogans but actual one-to-one action.
Feels good to me.
Tomorrow, you should be reading a post about tonight’s meeting.
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