What potential New Members want to avoid in a spiritual community
Yesterday, we spoke of what potential new members were looking for in a new spiritual community.
Today, we get a smaller list of things that those same potential new members are looking to avoid when choosing a new church.
All caveats about the makeup of the group found here apply.
It’s important to note that the group started out by saying “This list is the opposite of the Want list.” They felt that we could have taken everything on the Want list and try to avoid the opposite. That’s the main reason that this list is short.
Fear was mentioned more than once. From my memory, it was the use of fear as a motivating factor by the church and/or preacher against the parishioners. This covered beliefs, required service and/or monetary contributions, and internal politics. Another aspect that was mentioned was fear of change within the church. A few members of the group had gone through some serious internal church conflicts (the phrase “level 5” was used by at least one Presbyterian in the group who’d been through that conflict).
- Fear and zealots (fear is defined as “you must believe this or else” and using fear as a motivation for a particular belief)
- Exclusion (of anyone, but particularly of identifiable groups like race, gender, sexual orientation, age, etc)
- Old regime (a small group in charge, has always been in charge, and will not relinquish control)
- Pulpit politics (mainly non-church issues)
- Participation by guilt (church and committees)
- Irrelevance to my life
- $$$ focus (fundraising for the linked parochial school was mentioned here, but it covers more territory than that. Being valued by how much money you give.)
- Hopelessness – joy for what IS (being caught up in talking about how bad it is that we are not X {bigger, getting along better} rather than celebrating what we ARE)
- Not open to new ideas or change
- Sense that community can only exist within those four walls
- Unwelcoming – lack of warmth (including not talking to and welcoming visitors)
- “Stuck in the Mud”, “Way we’ve always done it” and “We’ve
Tried that before” - Avoid ritualistic traditions with no purpose
- Emphasis on money
- Focus on growth of buildings (build congregation first)
- Being pigeonholed (being identified as a particular type of person based on traits or history)
- Ties/formality of dress
- Lack of flexibility with expectations
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Again, this was simply a brainstorm to allow people to figure out what they are looking for and looking to avoid when choosing a new church or spiritual community. No analysis was done as to the feasibility of any of these ideas or their faithfulness.
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