Post-Montreat Blues

August 7, 2008 by
Filed under: Religion 

Today I’m somewhat deep in the Post-Montreat Blues.  This is apparently a common affliction, caused by the collision between the mountaintop high (emotionally, not physically) from a Montreat conference and the mundane realities of “real life” back home.  In other words – while you came home feeling wonderful, ready to change the world, and quite possibly changed for life … the rest of the world didn’t change all that much while you were gone.  I’ve experienced the same with Camp Johnsonburg experiences – though the Montreat experience was at a much higher intensity.

I’m trying to figure out what’s next.

This week we had movie night at the youth group, and most (but not all) of the crowd that showed up was from the Montreat trip.  We looked at the pictures from Montreat from a few people and then watched Saved! the movie.  We got a very insightful question from one youth who wasn’t on the trip about increasing the presence of faith in daily life.  I really think that between the Broad St. Philly mission trip and this Montreat trip we have a LOT of momentum going into the fall for the youth group.  Big things could happen!

I’ve found some confidence and new connections when it comes to working with the youth – particularly in my preferred style of one-to-one.  Again – momentum.

For today, I miss the relaxed me from the trip.  Sunday night I forgot to take my blood pressure medication, and I didn’t feel the effects. My co-workers all remarked on Monday how incredibly relaxed I seemed to be.  In many ways, that’s the Real Me, and I wish I could have it all of the time.

I also really, really miss the daily contact with my friends from my church and with the new friends that I made on the trip.  Seeing them on Facebook (or not at all) just isn’t the same.  I know that if we’d been together more than a week the usual interpersonal frictions would develop, but that was a really nice week.  Tuesday evening helped.

I’m also feeling a bit emotionally adrift.  The Montreat Youth Conference experience produced in me (and probably in many or most) a safe space where I could drop, tear down, explode, or simply eliminate the wall between my emotions and the outside world.  I was able to letthe Real Me outside of my head to a degree not normally possible.
Unfortunately that wall is somewhat necessary for daily life, particularly at work.  Rebuilding that wall takes some time, and is leaving me a smidge off balance.
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Now I’m trying to figure out the implications for my life.  One thing that I see (and have seen in the past) is that my job (the combination of place/culture and function) is out of line with my faith and values.  Please note – this is NOT the same as saying “I need a new job”.  There are several possibilities for how to fix this, including possibilities where I remain where I am and possiblities where I move on.

Some have heard the first whispers (or more) of a call to the ministry as a result of this week.  I don’t believe that I’m one of them.  This is something that I’ve considered from time to time in my religious life (before and now) but I just don’t hear the call.  My 10th grade computerized career assessment aside, I’ve never in my memory been told by someone that I’d make a good minister.  I think my call to the faith lies elsewhere.

For now, though, I’m considering the possibilities.  I’m remembering a few key rules:

  1. Don’t make any life-changing decisions within a week (or longer) after such a mountaintop experience.  Regain equilibrium first.
  2. The rest of the world didn’t change overnight.  Maybe you did, but there weren’t big changes elsewhere.
  3. Big, Meaningful Change requires Big, Meaningful Thought.  And time.

That’s where I am.

If I met you on the trip, I miss you.  A lot.

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