Yes …
Yes … I do realize just how poorly worded my question was in the conversation I wrote about yesterday.
I’m not sure why they chose me for a role that requires gifts in interpersonal communication in tense situations. I’ve never had that. Ever. My gifts in that area (if it is a gift) are honesty and directness – often brutal in combination. Interpersonal skills have always been my weakest point (well, that and athletic ability but that rarely comes up these days).
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Why did they think I’d be good at this? Is it too much of a handicap to be a leader in a congregation?
Talking AT somebody vs. talking TO somebody
Today we have a tale of two bloggers.
On the one hand we have Will Spotts. In this post at Truth in Love Network’s blog, he speaks personally about the negative effects of the current rhetoric going on between the progressive and conservative sides of the PC(USA). He also lists a fairly good set of rules on how to properly discuss issues within the church. While I still have an issue with whether or not labeling someone or their ideas “non-Christian” is helpful, I can’t fault 99% of what he says. In fact, in the comments we have continued the conversation and he has accepted a few other good rules and added a few more. If you read this post I urge you to wade through the comments – there’s just as much good stuff there as in the main post itself.
Will and I are also talking “across the divide” offline. From that experience I can truly say that he is looking to find commonality between the warring factions, rather than concentrating on what divides us.
We clearly disagree on some points, but not as many as you might think. It’s a very useful discussion.
Will is clearly talking TO somebody.
UPDATE: Will’s post linked above seems to have disappeared from his blog. I have sent him an e-mail to find out whether or not this was intentional.
FURTHER UPDATE: Will’s post is back. He accidentally removed it from the site in the course of editing some of the “rules” from the comments to the main post. I’ve done that myself on occasion.
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On the other hand we have Bill Crawford, of Bayou Christian. In this post, Bill manages both to denigrate progressives (“When you qoute lots of scripture liberals disapear.”) and to stop cold any discussion from progressives. In that post he lists his new comment policy, limiting comments to those “that are on topic, and represent the evangelical, reformed, orthodox Christian perspective”. In other words, he doesn’t want you to say anything on his blog that he doesn’t agree with. His true purpose shows in the last big paragraph:
I am in no mood to be forced into chasing heretics, assuaging hurt liberal feelings, and looking like the “bad guy” because I spoke the truth.
This has the effect of stopping the dialogue. Don’t agree with Bill? Then you don’t agree with “The Truth” and he doesn’t want to hear it. Follow him, or shut up.
Bill is clearly talking AT somebody. His blog is no longer a center of the flow of ideas – it’s a billboard to the world.
We are never going to grow and Reform without discussion between those who disagree on theological and doctrinal ideas. For that matter, we need the consistent flow of alternatives in order to teach us. Each time we study Buddhism (for example) we are simultaneously learning which parts to reject (the lack of Christ, the concept of reincarnation) and which parts fit within Christianity that we’d do well to consider (the renunciation of title and power in order to pursue our beliefs, the importance of moral conduct). We need to be exposed to other concepts in order to hone our ability to separate the wheat from the chaff.
Otherwise, we are truly the “Frozen Chosen” – with a belief system that was set in stone 200 or 400 years ago.
Talk TO someone or talk AT someone – it’s your choice. I choose TO.
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