2010: My personal Year in Review
Filed under: Candidate Process, Job Search, Life, Religion, Seminary, Work
I haven’t done a Year in Review post for a few years because I didn’t have any good news then. The two New Years after the layoff were times that I survived rather than showing improvement. This year was different. Very up and down, but averaging to up.
I started the year still looking for a secular job and having little luck, depressed after just barely missing out on a job right before Christmas. (Irony: after I made my decision to change direction, the person that they picked left and they wanted to interview me again.) That all changed with two days close together in January. One day a good friend accompanied me to a job fair at Rutgers, which turned that day from a depressing trip to a job fair to a day with a friend and by-the-way time at a job fair. We also had lunch with the campus Protestant chaplain at Rutgers and I found myself asking her to have the local seminary contact me. Later I realized that I had no idea why I’d asked for that. A couple weeks later I had a rough Monday morning and the same friend met met for coffee. That conversation led me to make the decision that I had to do serious vocational discernment and seriously consider seminary. What followed that decision is a long story that gets told as the year follows.
February found me stretching in many ways. I started auditing a class at Princeton Seminary and meeting with folks from the seminary and my church about my sense of call. I started serving on my first presbytery committee. I started spiritual direction. And at this point in my journey I was on a dual track – religious vocational discernment and secular job search.
March found me working a part-time job for a local ecumenical group serving as the project manager for a June justice revival weekend. It also found me working full-time (to start) for the US Census counting noses at group living facilities and service-based locations (shelters, food banks). Regretfully the Census job didn’t pan out as advertised and the “full-time” work ended up being at best 15 hours a week and only lasted 3 weeks. But it did give me a technical break in unemployment that allowed me to form my own small business. That business continues to provide a small amount of income and will hopefully do so as I go forward in school. March also found me being approved by the Session of my church to apply to be an Inquirer in the PC(USA).
April found me making what was nearly the final turn to the new direction. The justice revival work got going in earnest. I started the Youth Ministry Certificate program at Princeton Seminary with a retreat before the annual Youth Forums. And I started some steps to take care of the space between my ears.
May was packed with growth for me. The work between my ears got going in earnest. My justice revival work was in high gear before the June weekend. I got to be in the audience of The Daily Show and spend a great evening with two friends. And I got to go to the Unconference (in Maryland in 2010) and make new friendships that I hope to have for years if not forever.
In June the justice revival happened and was an amazing and tiring weekend. And I began preparations for July. Also in June I began working on the family stresses that were created by my discernment process and change of career.
In July I got an opportunity that I’d been hoping for since I returned to the church and started working with youth – I got to go to the Presbyterian Youth Triennium. The youth director at my church wrote the Small Group Manual, and as a result I was able to attend as Small Group Staff, Small Group Leader Trainer, and as a Small Group Leader. My presbytery’s delegation was housed across the street from the dorm that I was in, so we got to spend a lot of time together. I had a blast, and attending Triennium cemented my sense of call. After that trip, the last obstacle between me and my new career path was resolved, and my new journey began. At the end of July, Carolyn and I got to take a short vacation that we desperately needed – giving us time to reconnect and re-explore each other.
August was a quiet month of preparation work. I spent the time getting ready for the new year at church (in my new role as President of the Deacons, and with new youth staff) and preparing to meet with CPM. The Committee on Preparation for Ministry of my presbytery approved me as an Inquirer at the end of the month, beginning the official process towards ordination as a PC(USA) minister. I also began my work on applications for Princeton Seminary.
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October was a time of celebration. Carolyn and I celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary. We also one week later spent 3 days visiting Princeton Seminary in the role of prospective student and wife. Both of us felt very comfortable with that visit and very much at home. And the big celebration happened a week later at the end of the month, when I received my acceptance for the MDiv program at Princeton!
November brought a chance to enjoy success and reorient myself to my new direction. I delivered my commitment letter to Princeton Seminary while attending the Emerging Adulthood seminar early in the month. The rest of the month was spent completing some work between my ears and preparing for the holiday season.
December has been a time of waiting and preparing. With the help of friends, I’m working on preparing for seminary. I’m building lists of books to read before I start. I’m trying to decide about whether to pursue Summer Language (an intensive 10 week program for Greek or Hebrew) or take one last summer trip with my church youth group. And I’m reorienting my thinking. One bright event of December was a chance to meet a Twitter friend from Atlanta, one of her friends and a local friend for lunch at Drew University. I also unfortunately spent the end of November and most of December fighting a sinus infection that took a lot of my energy.
Overarching the year were a few events that do not fit the chronology well. From late spring until today (and continuing) I’ve been doing a lot of work in my head to grow, and to process the changes that such a large career shift creates. That large shift has also produces some stresses – in family, in friendships, and in relation to my church. I’ve worked hard with those involved to try to navigate the emotions produced and the logistics involved. This in turn has created further growth and improvement in me, in my relationships, and hopefully in the others impacted. This work has been HARD, but well worth it. And the relationships that have been involved I believe to be stronger now. I won’t say that pain is necessary to growth, but I will say that getting through pain successfully often produces growth. Last, a note that a few serious illnesses of family members came in the fall and that was rough too. Those family members are on the mend.
Also not fitting the chronology well were the growth of a few new and old friendships through shared experiences. I can only hope that I have given to them as much as they have given to me.
All in all, this year was a very up and down year. I am thankful for my wife and friends who supported me through it, who listened to my ravings and pain, and who continue to stand by me. While it has been rough most of the roughness has taken place in the service of growth in the right direction. And there have been some glorious moments of celebration and happy-dances. I’d never have believed that I’d jump up and down in my kitchen past age 40 until the day I opened my seminary acceptance letter.
I end the year with a new direction when I had no direction. I end the year with strengthened relationships. And I end the year with new friends that I value greatly. And I end the year with a much, much stronger sense of the direction that God wants me to take, as well as many reminders that God is always with me.
I’ll take it.