Evangelism, Introverts, and The Truth

June 19, 2007 by
Filed under: Religion 

This post is in answer to a request from Adam of Introverted Church.

Adam says:  “I would really like to hear your thoughts about evangelism in the experience of an introvert. Have you found things that work well and feel natural?”

That’s a complex question.  There are two different premises that make evangelism tricky for me.

1.  Knowing The Truth

In my personal little version of Christianity, there is a tenet that says “nobody on earth is able to know all of God’s Will and God’s Truth.”  Closely tied to that is a requirement for humility and mutual respect for non-Christians.

In other words – I can’t know the entirety of God’s Will and God’s Truth.  Neither can you, or anybody else.

That is not the same thing as saying “you can’t believe anything”.  I do know what I believe.  Those beliefs have been arrived at through a continuing process of education, contact with others who speak of their beliefs, prayer and other inspiration from the Spirit.  So it is true to say that I know what I believe to be God’s Will for me, and God’s Truth as I understand it.  The important distinction is that there’s enough room for my error that I can’t really say that someone with differing beliefs is wrong.  For all I know, there really is a Flying Spaghetti Monster and I should be dressing like a pirate.  I think I’m right and I will act accordingly.  I don’t want to infringe on others’ right to do the same (within limits – like killing me for my beliefs).  I believe that they might be better off agreeing with me, but not with enough certainty to push.

I mentioned humility above.  I honestly feel that anyone who is completely certain that they understand God and God’s Will has replaced God with themselves.  It’s idolatry of the self.  Humility says that God is so big that I can’t get it all.

2.  Being an Introvert Christian

When I do the Myers-Briggs test, I tend to come out a strong introvert (70-80% of responses indicate Introvert).  (For those who are curious, I’m an INFP.)   That means a few things:

  • I’m at my best in small groups or preferably one-on-one.  There are exceptions – over time my wife Carolyn has become so much a part of my life that when it comes to Introvert comfort she counts as me rather than another person.  I’m also very comfortable in a group of INFP’s (which I’ve experienced occasionally through church work).
  • Large groups and conflict drain my energy much more quickly than the average person.  Parties just plain leach the energy out of me.  Sitting in a room with a few friends chatting or spending time alone energize me.  I’ve learned over the years to notice the signs of a social energy deficit approaching and take steps to prevent overload when I can.
  • When taken in combination with the rest of my personality, my introversion causes me to care deeply about individuals.  My parents last Christmas quite correctly told me that I can be depended on to support the underdog.  (I also enjoy Underdog).  A side effect of this (and something true of many introverts) is that I have very few very close friends and many acquaintances at a much shallower level.  I can count the people who know the depth of my thoughts and feelings on one hand.

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Other introverts experience the world differently.  For example – I have no problem with public speaking (aside from talent – I’m OK but not great and I’m much better when I’m speaking extemporaneously) but many introverts have a real problem with speaking in front of large crowds.

Christianity has been called an “extrovert” religion.  The stereotype of evangelism is someone (a stranger, a pesky neighbor) grabbing you by the arm and exclaiming “Let me tell ya bout Jeeeeeeee-a-zuuuuus!”  Let’s face it – with the way we practice Christianity it IS an extrovert religion.  We have people teaching and preaching from a platform way up above the passive (or at least reactive) congregation.  A pastor is expected to be everything from a religious zealot to a public speaker to a teacher to a psychologist.  We have altar calls, testimonies, and other forms of endless sharing of our innermost thoughts and emotions.

By now the Presbyterians are asking “What’s he talking about?”  OK – I’ll grant that we Presbyterians aren’t as demonstrative.  But we’re still very social – lots of committees, communal meals, Bible studies, youth groups, mission trips, etc.  Today’s Christianity is not for the solitary.  Even monks live in groups.

The Intersection

When these two ideas (introverts in Christianity, my personal theology around the truth) intersect you get … well, me.  What does that mean?

I don’t believe that I should force my beliefs on others.  That extends sufficiently far that I shouldn’t even talk to someone about my beliefs unless I am invited.  I am very open with my friends, family and co-workers about my church and other religious activities – but only as a narrative of my life.  If someone desires to delve deeper into what I believe and perhaps what they believe then I will – but only at their prompting.  If someone tells me that they believe X and I know that I believe Y, I will celebrate them for their sincerity of belief rather than trying to change their minds.  My religion is a voluntary religion (at least on the surface – we’ll leave Irresistible Grace for another conversation).

I believe that Christ was an example to the people that he met, and to those of us who know of him second-hand (or nth-hand).  Christ did say “Follow Me”, but I’ve always read that as “Follow Me and I’ll teach you” – a summons that we are free to accept or reject.  To me, that means that as Christians we are to be examples to others.  To me, the highest form of evangelism is “Hey, he’s a great guy.  I wonder why?  I think I’ll ask him.”  The Freemasons have a saying “To Be One, Ask One”.  For Christianity it’s more like “You can be like me if you want to” (and by extension, like Christ).

Christ told the disciples to be fishers of men.  Fishing is voluntary in two parts.  First, the fisherman must choose to dangle a hook (and bait) in the water in the vicinity of the fish.  Second, the fish must choose to eat the bait and thereby be hooked (or not hooked).  Christ never said “Go forth and force people to believe in me, by whatever means necessary”.  No, He chose a slower, more voluntary method.

OK, So Answer Adam’s Question

Way back at the top Adam asked a question.  “Have you found things that work well and feel natural?”

Let me begin by saying that I can’t point to a success.  I do not know of a single person who has decided to become a Christian because of my efforts.  I believe that I’ve helped some people BACK to the church (though not to Christianity – the church and the religion aren’t the same thing and their beliefs were already there).  I believe that I may have strengthened someone’s belief through my actions and words directly or indirectly.  I just can’t say that I’ve made a “new recruit”.

I’m happiest within the church to be DOING rather than TALKING.  I’d rather be the behind-the-scenes guy who is making sure the event is going well (topping off the coffee pot, planning, setting up, cleaning up, etc).  I really don’t want to be the on-stage person though I will if it’s the right thing for the situation.  I like working in small teams, though church committees frustrate me some.  I’m more comfortable in the pews than behind the pulpit but I’ll preach if you really want me to.

When it comes to talking about my faith, I prefer to do it one on one.  I have had some longish conversations at work with my boss about her faith (she’s unchurched mainly for historic family reasons rather than anything having to do with beliefs).  I’ve had similar conversations with others within the church or at camp over the years.  If I’m going to speak about my beliefs in a group, I want it to be a group of equals where everyone is speaking about their beliefs.  With the Reconnecting with Faith retreats that we’ve run at Johnsonburg, we have worked very hard (with great results) to create a safe space without judgment to talk about feelings and beliefs between equals.

I’m still trying to figure out my faith.  I suspect that this will be an eternal process.  When I design computer software (yes, an INFP software designer!) I usually have to let my subconscious chew on it for a while.  At some point I get a feeling that I have it together enough to go ahead and start putting pen to paper, and I’ll be able to answer any questions that come up.  I’m not there yet with my faith.

That’s what works for me today, fairly well.  Example, Action, One-to-one, and Humility/Acceptance of the other’s point of view.

I hope that answers the question.

I welcome comments and criticisms on this topic.

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Comments

9 Comments on Evangelism, Introverts, and The Truth

  1. pligg.com on Thu, 21st Jun 2007 11:46 am

    2. Mark Time: Evangelism, Introverts, and The Truth

    Adam of the blog Introverted Church (http://introvertedchurch.blogspot.com/) asked me to write my experiences with evangelism as an introvert.

    I invite comments or criticism either here or on the blog.

  2. Gannet Girl on Thu, 21st Jun 2007 1:47 pm

    3. Interesting post.

    Pretty much everyone I know assumes — and sometimes argues strenuously — that I am an extrovert, but whenever I do an online test I come out as a slightly-introverted INFP.

    I think it’s because I am comfortable in public situations, groups, speaking, etc — but I know that my energy comes from solitude, interior time, prayer, etc.

    Now that I think of it, maybe it’s because I “indulge” my Introvert self with a minimum of an hour and often much more time alone each day that my Extrovert self usually works fine.

  3. Quotidian Grace on Fri, 22nd Jun 2007 11:57 am

    4. You remind me of the old adage: “Preach the Gospel. Use words if necessary.”

    Nothing wrong with that!

  4. Adam on Fri, 22nd Jun 2007 1:00 pm

    5. Thanks for your very honest and helpful answer, Mark. I appreciate your level of self-awareness and your desire to act out of who God has created you to be, rather than trying to squeeze into a Christian “mold.” I, of course, agree with you that much of Christianity as we know it – especially more conservative Christianity – has an extroverted bias to it. As a pastor I find that the expectations – both internally and externally placed – can be quite overwhelming. I feel like I’m expected to be the lead socializer, the first and last one on the patio after church on Sundays, as well as the lead evangelist, modeling for people the significance of sharing Jesus with others. I am grateful, however, that I’m a Presbyterian because I don’t think the expectations are quite as high in these regards. Presbyterians appreciate studious and reflective pastors more than other churches, I think. I have always felt supported in the churches I have worked at in my tendency towards study and research and writing.

    Thanks for sharing your personal journey with us – I think that is one of the most effective styles of evangelism, especially when you’re doing it genuinely and not out of an attempt to convert people.

  5. Dawn on Fri, 22nd Jun 2007 3:45 pm

    6. Hi Mark,

    Great post! I enjoy what you wrote.

    I wrote a small post about evangelism here: http://easter-journal.blogspot.com/2007/04/evangelism.html

    Dawn
    (still a newbie)

  6. Dawn on Fri, 22nd Jun 2007 3:51 pm

    7. Oh, and I’m an INFP married to an ISTP, who happens to be agnostic. My husband and I have some pretty interesting and sometimes annoying discussions about faith, religion and spirituality.

  7. Kathy on Sun, 25th May 2008 8:35 pm

    8. Great post, Mark. Thank you for putting your thoughts into words.

  8. John on Sun, 11th Jan 2009 12:29 pm

    9. You sound like a man after my own heart. It’s good to know that we Christian introverts are not alone.

    I’m an INTP, by the way — even further into the shell.

  9. Five Things I Dig About Jesus : Mark Time on Tue, 27th Jan 2009 1:52 pm

    10. […] 2.  Jesus spent much of his time working amongst the “least of these”.  I’m a big fan of the underdog (as I said here). […]

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