Why did God rest?

April 21, 2008 by · 4 Comments
Filed under: Religion, Youth 

Genesis 2:2  And on the seventh day God finished the work that he had done, and he
rested on the seventh day from all the work that he had done.

Last night during youth group, one youth asked a very deep question:  Why did God rest on the 7th day?

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What do you think?

Funniest answer from a youth:  “He just freakin’ created the Earth!  He was tired!”

Lock-in – How did it go?

February 12, 2008 by · 2 Comments
Filed under: Religion, Youth 

It went well.

The night was planned as 9pm to 8am for the youth with the adults arriving about 8pm.  I got there at 7:45 to help get started.

We ended up with about 14 youth and 5 adults.  Only 2 people who had signed up failed to arrive.

The evening started out (after some setup) with a group “introductions in a circle”.  Then we moved on to “Hula Hoop Dodgeball” for about 45 minutes.  At the end of the dodgeball anybody who participated ended up on the concrete floor trying to soak up the cool from the concrete – it was VERY energetic.

We followed that up with pasta and ice cream (no, not at the same time).

We had a very good serious discussion about life and faith.

We then had a lot of unstructured time.  There was one room with multiple video games.  The chapel contained a jam session complete with electric guitars, piano, drums and later acoustic guitar.  I played drums for possibly the first time in 18 years or so and I’m glad to see that while I was rusty I still remembered a lot. (Muscle memory runs deep if you do something long enough)  A few youth were impressed with my rendition of Wipe Out.  In a third room we were showing movies for the rest of the night.
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About 3:45am I went to the designated quiet sleep room and tried to sleep.  I was joined by another adult and a youth later.  We all got up for good about 7am.

At 7am we cleaned up (very well) and held a very short worship service (during which 1/2 of the group was asleep at any given moment).  Then the parents started arriving and we headed out.

This was mostly a fellowship event, but the serious discussion was very deep and very serious.  There’s a layer of profound depth hidden below the external picture that our youth project.

I slept most of Sunday, and took Monday off from work to reset my internal clock.  I think I’m 80% back to normal now.

I had fun.  I got to be me – the authentic real me as opposed to the me that I have to show the adult/working/controlled image world – with a group of very authentic people.  It was a pleasure.

Besides – how often do you get to play drums in a church at 3am?

First Lock-In

February 8, 2008 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Religion, Youth 

I’m a little nervous.

I’ve been working with the youth at the Presbyterian Church of Lawrenceville for about a year now.  In that time I’ve been there for them at regular Sunday night meetings, gone on one overnight retreat at Camp Johnsonburg, and worked and taught the Confirmation Class.  All of those were easy – it was like falling off a log for me.  Even the teaching didn’t cause anxiety – I knew the material and knew the confirmands and I knew it would go well (and I think it did).

Here’s the thing.  We’re having a Senior High Lock-in Saturday night to Sunday morning.  The PCOL lock-in tradition seems to be a “no sleep” tradition.  I believe that space is provided for sleeping but it sounds like the majority of the youth will be staying up all night.  I’m OK with that.

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I’ll be fine.  The retreat starts at 9pm, so I suspect the adults need to be there about 8pm (I haven’t actually been told yet).  It ends at 8am.  I’m planning to take a serious nap on Saturday afternoon, have nothing planned for Sunday, and I’m taking Monday off from work to reset my sleep cycle.  I’ve volunteered to chaperone the sleeping room (assuming that can be done while asleep).  I just might be tired and a bit cranky at the end.

It should be fun!

Youth Elder … that was interesting

January 20, 2008 by · 2 Comments
Filed under: Religion, Youth 

Today, the Presbyterian Church of Lawrenceville (NJ) held it’s Annual Corporation Meeting and the Special Congregational Meeting.  This church holds the annual corporate and congregational meetings at different times and the special meeting in January is normally to approve the terms of call for the pastors and fill any open partial officer terms.

During the Congregational meeting, a change to the bylaws was proposed.  The number of elders has previously been set at exactly 15, in 3 even classes.  This change was to allow a minimum of 15 and a maximum of 16 elders in nearly equal classes.

The intention of the change was to allow for the first-time election of a youth (under 18 in this case) to the Session.

This was originally brought up back in the fall when the Session and Youth and Young Adult council members talked about it (not the entire group – there is some overlap).  The original plan was to create the post of Youth Elder.  I did some research on their behalf (since I know a lot about all of this through past personal history and interest) and pointed out that under the Book of Order, there cannot be a position restricted/intended for a certain group.  Instead I recommended that they increase the number of seats available and allow for flexibility in the classes.

I knew we were in trouble when the sanctuary was packed for a congregational meeting week worship service.  Most of the folks were older.  After the service there was a Benediction but no Choral Response or Postlude.  Folks were asked to remain.  Usually about 1/3 of the folks who attended the service will stay for the congregational meeting.  Today almost everybody stayed.

The bylaw amendment was the last item on the agenda of both meetings.  At the beginning of the corporation meeting (which was first) the pastor recognized the confirmation class that was attending the meeting as part of their education.  He asked them to stand up.  Some stood up.  Others did not, and a few were in the balcony and not visible.  The pastor made a statement about some of them being present.

The bylaw amendment was presented by the nominating committee chair.  It was presented as allowing us to have a youth elder, who would be a rising senior [elected in June – someone who would be a senior in the fall] who would serve one year of a 3-year term.  If the student remained in the area for college he/she would be able to finish the full term.  If not the student would resign just like anyone else who was unable to finish their term and we would likely elect another student to replace them.  This youth elder would not be expected to chair a committee (as the other elders are) and would be paired with another elder to serve as a mentor.

The first speaker from the floor asked why we needed an additional seat, and stated that perhaps the nominating committee should have been choosing a youth for Session all along.  The answer given was that since we would not expect a youth to be a committee chair, we couldn’t afford to give up an adult seat – we needed all 15 to chair committees.
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It was also pointed out that under the Book of Order there is no such thing as a youth elder.  I was recognized at one point and read from G-14 where the BOO requires that the congregation elect officers from all ages, racial-ethnic background, disabilities, etc.

The controversy was expressed as a question of why an additional seat was required for most of the 15 minute discussion until one elderly member got up and gave her opinion.  She stated that if the Session required the advice of a youth they could simply ask one to come to a meeting, and that elders should be people who have been involved with the church for a long time, have experience with the church, and are more mature.  At least 7 or 8 people raised their hands to answer that discriminatory attitude.

A few speakers later, the chair called the question (with support from others).  In a voice vote the motion to change the bylaws passed.  My estimate is that it was about 66-34 or maybe 60-40.  The chair ruled that the motion passed and noone called for division.  The meeting was ended with prayer.

After the meeting the woman who was the first speaker was heard to say “we’re voting on a youth elder and they aren’t even HERE!”  I think the pastor did the youth a disservice by actually saying that only a few were there.  I think that the youth (older than confirmation age) did themselves a disservice by failing to attend worship and this meeting.

One woman who I spoke to after the meeting said that she thought that the argument over 15 vs. 16 seats was really code for whether or not to have a youth elder and particularly for whether or not to change anything.

Even worse, this meeting shows a split in the congregation that my work on Project Open Door has hinted at.  There is a core of the congregation for whom you are a new member until you’ve been there 5 years or more.  They are also opposed to change of any type.  There is an old/young split, and a new/long-time split.  I fear for what this means when the Project Open Door team is expected to fulfill our mandate by suggesting changes to the visitor and community ministries of the church.

I’m glad that the vote went in favor of the youth, but also disturbed at the anti-youth sentiment shown by the debate.  It seems nothing has changed in some congregations in the last 20 years.

Youth and Homosexuality and the church – jodie’s questions

January 19, 2008 by · 3 Comments
Filed under: Religion, Youth 

jodie in the comments on yesterday’s update has posted a lot of questions.  They deserve their own post, so I’ll answer them here.

How do the youth in your church view the Evangelical hostility to gay ordination? Is there a generational gap there too, besides the theological one? In my church the youth are flabbergasted that anybody should care. It seems that among college kids and younger, homosexuality just is. There is no scandal in it at all. There is huge support for kids that are gay but don’t get parental support, and if the Church has a problem with gays then it’s because the Church has forgotten what Christ was all about. Not only that, but if someone says that Homosexuality is a sin because the bible says so, then for them that is just proof that the bible is wrong. In other words, the Evangelical war is actually undermining the authority of the Scriptures. Are you guys seeing the same thing?

The answer requires a little background.

First, my church is tending toward the liberal end of the denomination.  The town surrounding the church tends to be a bit more liberal as well.

Second, the youth group hasn’t talked about sexuality per se since I started working with them.  It was the subject of a retreat last year before I joined them.  So I’m working from conjecture.

Third, our youth are not homogenous in their views on sexuality.  I know that we have some outspoken proponents of gay rights.  I also know that we have some youth that I suspect hold more conservative views on the subject.

We’ll take the questions in the order that my brain spews text.  Hopefully I’ll answer all of the questions.

We have one or two youth who participated on their own initiative in the National Day of Silence last year (and will participate this year).  I’ll put them at the pro-gay end of the spectrum.  We have had a youth who is the daughter of a pair of gay men (who were one of the first civil union couples in the state) – she has graduated now.  Several members of the rest of the group talk about generally liberal causes (poverty, environment, the distrubution of wealth throughout the world).

We don’t talk about evangelicals using that name.  We do talk about judgmental Christians (the implication being Too judgmental).  Our youth group has as part of our covenant that the group is a safe space to talk about things that are important to you without ridicule from other group members.  We don’t expect everybody to agree, and we do debate issues sometimes, but in the end we respect and love the person and at worst listen to the idea.  The group does speak negatively about those Christians who are unable to love each person – who condemn them and use loaded names and terms for people.  Please be clear – when I use the term “we” I mean the youth, the adult advisors, and the paid staff.  As a group we only talk about judgmental Christians (we don’t even use a term for them) in passing.  It’s not like we spend a night talking about them.

I think you’re right.  Gay people are just a fact of life for these youth.  They have grown up in an era where prejudice against identifiable groups (even groups attacking our country) is not tolerated.  This attitude naturally carries over to homosexuality.  These youth recognize that anti-gay speech (up to and often including “homosexuality is against God’s will”) is just not expected.  If anybody harbors anti-gay feelings I haven’t seen it openly.  Now, this is New Jersey where civil unions are the law of the land and are practically the same legally as marriages.  I can see how it would be different in other parts of the country.

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Another problem that we are fighting in our youth group is pressure from church members (most often parents of youth who do NOT participate) not to make the church youth group too “churchy”.  Our youth director reports that he’s actually had parents tell him that mentioning the Bible too often will drive the youth away from the group.  I think that this is true for some youth, but hey!  This is church.  That’s what we do.  We’ve made a conscious decision to up the theological and scriptural content of the youth program one notch and see how it goes.  The youth know right from wrong and have a vague sense that it’s the Christian thing to do, but I believe they’d be hard-pressed to link their right actions to our beliefs.  We aim to fix that.

Not only that, but if someone says that Homosexuality is a sin because the bible says so, then for them that is just proof that the bible is wrong. In other words, the Evangelical war is actually undermining the authority of the Scriptures.

I repeat that quote because it’s huge.  I can’t say if this war is turning youth away from the church or the Bible, but I can speak for myself.  It DOES turn me away from the church sometimes.  It doesn’t turn me away from God, Christ or the Bible because I understand the concept of interpretation and “Reformed, Always Reforming”.  Of course, I have experience with the church above and beyond what our youth have plus a religion minor in college including 50% Christian courses backing my thoughts.  They don’t.

Speaking purely of my unchurched and formerly churched friends in their 20’s to 40’s, this legalistic attitude in the church does turn them away.  Many of them were previously heavily involved in church but aren’t now – and the judgmental nature of the media image of Christianity (and their own experience with it) keeps them away.  They speak of themselves as “still a Christian, but I don’t want to be part of a church”.

It’s also important to realize that Generation X and to a lesser extent Generation Y have an attitude of “waiting for the world to change”.  They know that someday the leaders (corporate, church, governmental) will retire and die off and at that point the Gen X and Y folks will be able to make the changes that they see need to be made.  There’s a feeling that gay marriage will inevitably be accepted by society and subsequently the church so why worry about it.  It’s just a matter of time.  In the mean time they go on about their lives without regard to the “outdated” rules.

And the Millenials? They aren’t waiting.  They’re just forging ahead with their own rules and their own structure and succeeding.  They aren’t waiting for the rules to change – they are going around the obstacles in their path.  These are the folks who need to understand why a work assignment needs to be done and how it fits into the larger picture before they’ll lift a finger.  The Gen X and Y folks are going to find that they waited too long for control and the Millenials already grabbed it from the Baby Boomers.

And the Millenials don’t understand what the fighting is about.  Gay people are gay people – what’s the big deal?

One last note – the youth at my church barely understand what ordination is.  We’re working on that – in part by adding a seat to Session intended for one year terms for a youth in high school.  But the gay ordination fight isn’t on their radar.  It’s not an issue in our church (yes, we’ve ordained openly gay people) and they just aren’t plugged into the news or greater church enough to understand the gay ordination debate.  They just see it as more discrimination against a minority group.

So what’s up?

January 18, 2008 by · 1 Comment
Filed under: Ham Radio, Religion, Sports, Work, Youth 

So what’s going on, Mark?

I’m glad you asked.

This week has been eventful.

Earlier in the week, we got the news that the company is looking into some form of ownership change for all or part of the company.  I’ve already written about that.

Today we actually got good news.  IT has gotten permission to give an allowance to IT employees who are required to be on-call for support issues.  The department will pay up to $75 of our home broadband Internet and cell phone charges.  For me that means $40 for Internet access.  My cell phone usage for work is minimal and always within my plan.

At church I got the Project Open Door meeting scheduled for next week – we’ll be going over inactive members and how to interview them gently.  I had a good Sr. High youth evening last Sunday and a great Youth and Young Adult council meeting on Tuesday.  The YAYA council actually reduced the amount of logistical stuff that we go over to focus on the substance and theology of our program.  We’re going to be more intentional about linking our activities to our theology in the future.
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Hockey – there are 3 games this weekend.  I’m going to tonight’s game with Carolyn, and tomorrow night’s game with Carolyn, my sister and a friend of hers.  Sunday’s game will get skipped – 3 in a weekend is too much.

Ham Radio – I got voted in as a member of the Delaware Valley Radio Association last week. Last weekend I went to their radio “shack” and got an orientation on the building, antennas, and radios.  I’m also nearly finished with the ARRL EC-001 Level 1 Amateur Radio Emergency Communication online class.  That class will teach me how to be useful in an emergency (like a flood, hurricane, or other disaster).  The class is going really well – my mentor told me that I’m the first student out of the 100 or so that he’s worked with who managed to format all 4 sample emergency messages correctly on the first try.

In the Presbyterian world, things have been busy.  We’ve had a presbytery approve a lesbian candidate as ready to receive a call to ministry, we got a young adult candidate for General Assembly Moderator (for the non-presby’s, that means roughly “head Presbyterian”).  These actions (particularly the first one) have prompted the expected reaction from the conservative wing of the church.  Our General Assembly this June will also be considering a complete re-write of the Rules portion of our constitution.

At my own church we have a congregational meeting this Sunday that will consider a change to the bylaws to loosen up the rules on the number of Elders and their term length.  This is intended to allow the church to ordain it’s first Elder under age 18 for a term shorter than 3 years (because the youth probably couldn’t serve a full 3 years).

Life is a roller coaster, but in retrospect it’s been more up than down this week.

Youth Group and Instant Replay

January 14, 2008 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Religion, Youth 

Last night I experienced the first use (for me) of video instant reply at youth group.

We were playing a game of Human Tic-Tac-Toe.  For those of you who haven’t heard of it, I’ll describe it below.  The rest of you can skip the next paragraph.

You have to have at least 11 people.  The group divides into two teams and one person is the gamemaster.  You set up 9 chairs in a square (3 x 3) on a gym floor.  The two teams assign a number (1 to however many there are, but the teams must be evenly sized) to each person.  The game starts with the chairs empty and the teams lined up behind lines an equal distance from the chairs (opposite sides of the room).  The gamemaster yells out a number, and the person from each team with that number runs, walks, moseys, to their selected chair.  This continues until the game ends in a deadlock (alternately the team with the most people in chairs wins in case of a deadlock) or one team getting Tic-Tac-Toe.  You continue as long as you want with new games.  It’s both mental and physical – our most successful player walked over slowly and sat down rather than racing for the obvious play.

The game was a lot of fun.  One game resulted in an epic collision between me and one of the other adult advisors that ended with both of us on the floor, the youth director asking “Are you guys OK?” and the rest of my team yelling “Mark!  Sit in the chair!”  Nobody was injured.
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The gamemaster took out her digital camera and started taking videos of the game.  We had one game where two teams simultaneously got Tic-Tac-Toe in two different rows of chairs, and we had to resort to her video to determine who sat down first.

That’s gotta be the first use in OUR group of instant replay in a youth group activity.

Has anybody else used it?

We were looking for God, and we found Dog

October 22, 2007 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Religion, Youth 

Last night’s youth group meeting went rather well.  We had a discussion on mission trips and potential destinations.  It took a very theological turn somewhere in the middle and we ended up in 3 minutes or less with questions about repentance, Heaven, Hell, and whether or not God cares what we believe.  We’re looking at planning Theology on Tap Junior Edition (or Root Beer Edition) as a result of the students’ hunger to talk about weighty topics.

After the meeting everybody went out to the parking lot.  We discovered a small dog with a leash attached to his/her collar but no owner.  Also no tag (please, even if the dog is chipped put a tag on the collar!).  The dog was immediately loved to near-death.  After the youth left, I called the local police asking if a dog had been reported missing.  After I gave the description, the dispatcher gave me a perfect description of the dog’s collar and leash.  He said he’d send the owners to us.  I left the Youth Director standing at the curb with the dog waiting for the owner.  I hope he/she got picked up OK.

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Next week will be fun – we’re doing “Movie in the Graveyard” for Halloween.

Run Ragged

October 9, 2007 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Life, Religion, Work, Youth 

I’m at my ragged end.  I’ve been doing too much.

First, there’s work Monday to Friday 8-5.  That’s a given.

Last Thursday – spend the evening doing laundry to get ready for Carolyn’s trip to Germany
Last Friday – spend a quiet evening with Carolyn
Saturday – get up, go to church Officer’s Retreat and give report on Welcome and Outreach Task Force.  Get home, discover that Internet router will not route.  Go to Circuit City, buy replacement.  Install.  Have 1 hour with Carolyn before she goes to the airport.
Sunday – church in the morning.  Then stay for Confirmation initial meeting lunch until 1pm.  Go home, pay bills.  Clean home office to get ready for FIOS installation.  Get ready for evening.  Go to church for youth group.  Get home at 9:30.  Get ready for bed.
Monday – after work, platelet donation – almost rejected for high BP due to exhaustion.  That takes 2 hours.  Go home, reboot DirecTV receiver.  Prepare and eat dinner and get a chance to watch 20 minutes of TV.  Get ready for bed and go to bed late.
Tuesday (today) – after work, go home.  Make and eat dinner.  Go to church for Youth and Young Adult Council.  Get home about 9.  Get ready for bed and try to go to bed a little early.
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Thursday – After work, eat leisurely dinner in only 1/2 hour.  Head to Princeton for Theology on Tap young adult evening.  Get home late, go to bed late.
Friday – Carolyn gets home from Germany in the afternoon.  Do her laundry.  Start packing for Saturday.
Saturday – Carolyn and I go to NYC for our 13th wedding anniversary and the 20th anniversary of our first date (both on Monday).  Don’t have any specific plans for Saturday yet.
Sunday – go to church in the morning (St. Patrick’s Cathedral?).  Go to Spamalot in the afternoon.  No evening plans yet.
Monday – maybe a morning NYC activity, then drive home.  Collapse.
Tuesday – Friday – vacation from work.  No specific plans.  SLEEP.

The only activities scheduled by me were the FIOS installation, platelet donation, and the NYC trip (planned over 6 months ago).  The rest were scheduled by others.

Why We Do It

October 8, 2007 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Religion, Youth 

If you ever wonder why youth leaders volunteer several hours per week (at least) to work with a bunch of teenagers, last night’s senior high youth group session provides the answer.

The youth director was very busy this week (Confirmation started yesterday) and didn’t really have time to plan out last night’s meeting.  God stepped in.

We had music on at the beginning, and the youth who were there were grooving to it.  The youth director tossed a few rhythm instruments around the room and we all jammed to the Beatles for a few minutes.  Later he taught us a few songs of faith from foreign lands, and the youth loved it.
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For the rest of the meeting, we used M&M’s to talk about what happened in the last week.  Red was how you experienced love, Yellow was a joy, Brown was something bad that happened, Blue was when you were sad, Orange was when you saw God, etc.  This ultimately brought out some difficult issues that some of the youth were dealing with.  What was most heartening to me was that when this happened, other youth jumped in to help the youth in tears before the adult advisors could.  Because of our covenants the group provided the safe space required to work through the emotions.

The youth director said that this was by far the best evening he’d had since he started working here over a year ago.  It was decidedly the best that I’ve had.  THIS is what youth ministry is about.

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