End of Week roundup
Here’s what’s going on.
- I managed to decompress from the congregational meeting last weekend. There are still some hard feelings among the young adults who work with youth, but we’ll get over it. I did express my feelings to my pastor.
- Last night my committee co-chair and the pastor and I had a conference call. We’d had to cancel the committee meeting because so many members were unavailable for the meeting (including a disturbing number who chose to drop out and prioritize something else higher – after they’d agreed to be there). We have a strategy for moving forward (but I can’t discuss it here until we’ve announced it to the team). How do you staff church committees when the really involved people are also really busy?
- I passed my ham radio Emergency Communications course, with 100% on the test and 100% of my assignments accepted on the first try. Next month or in a few months I’ll take the Level II course.
- Tonight Carolyn and I are headed to the Trenton Devils game. We’re skipping Saturday because 3 games a weekend is too much.
- Sunday the church is doing a service project in lieu of (or technically during) the worship service. We’ll start in the sanctuary, but then break early to spread out around the building making School and Baby kits for Church World Service, and hygiene kits for the Crisis Ministry of Trenton and Princeton, and sandwiches and wrapped utensils for the Trenton Area Soup Kitchen. Then we’ll gather for lunch and close worship. It’s Levi Sunday (named for the Levites – get it? We’re supposed to wear jeans).
- Sunday afternoon the Sr. High (and some Jr. High) youth group will go to see the Trenton Devils hockey team (ECHL). My season ticket plan includes one free luxury suite a year, and I’m treating the youth. It should be fun!
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I have been tagged in the book meme, but I don’t know if I’ll get to it today. Maybe later.
Youth Elder … that was interesting
Today, the Presbyterian Church of Lawrenceville (NJ) held it’s Annual Corporation Meeting and the Special Congregational Meeting. This church holds the annual corporate and congregational meetings at different times and the special meeting in January is normally to approve the terms of call for the pastors and fill any open partial officer terms.
During the Congregational meeting, a change to the bylaws was proposed. The number of elders has previously been set at exactly 15, in 3 even classes. This change was to allow a minimum of 15 and a maximum of 16 elders in nearly equal classes.
The intention of the change was to allow for the first-time election of a youth (under 18 in this case) to the Session.
This was originally brought up back in the fall when the Session and Youth and Young Adult council members talked about it (not the entire group – there is some overlap). The original plan was to create the post of Youth Elder. I did some research on their behalf (since I know a lot about all of this through past personal history and interest) and pointed out that under the Book of Order, there cannot be a position restricted/intended for a certain group. Instead I recommended that they increase the number of seats available and allow for flexibility in the classes.
I knew we were in trouble when the sanctuary was packed for a congregational meeting week worship service. Most of the folks were older. After the service there was a Benediction but no Choral Response or Postlude. Folks were asked to remain. Usually about 1/3 of the folks who attended the service will stay for the congregational meeting. Today almost everybody stayed.
The bylaw amendment was the last item on the agenda of both meetings. At the beginning of the corporation meeting (which was first) the pastor recognized the confirmation class that was attending the meeting as part of their education. He asked them to stand up. Some stood up. Others did not, and a few were in the balcony and not visible. The pastor made a statement about some of them being present.
The bylaw amendment was presented by the nominating committee chair. It was presented as allowing us to have a youth elder, who would be a rising senior [elected in June – someone who would be a senior in the fall] who would serve one year of a 3-year term. If the student remained in the area for college he/she would be able to finish the full term. If not the student would resign just like anyone else who was unable to finish their term and we would likely elect another student to replace them. This youth elder would not be expected to chair a committee (as the other elders are) and would be paired with another elder to serve as a mentor.
The first speaker from the floor asked why we needed an additional seat, and stated that perhaps the nominating committee should have been choosing a youth for Session all along. The answer given was that since we would not expect a youth to be a committee chair, we couldn’t afford to give up an adult seat – we needed all 15 to chair committees.
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It was also pointed out that under the Book of Order there is no such thing as a youth elder. I was recognized at one point and read from G-14 where the BOO requires that the congregation elect officers from all ages, racial-ethnic background, disabilities, etc.
The controversy was expressed as a question of why an additional seat was required for most of the 15 minute discussion until one elderly member got up and gave her opinion. She stated that if the Session required the advice of a youth they could simply ask one to come to a meeting, and that elders should be people who have been involved with the church for a long time, have experience with the church, and are more mature. At least 7 or 8 people raised their hands to answer that discriminatory attitude.
A few speakers later, the chair called the question (with support from others). In a voice vote the motion to change the bylaws passed. My estimate is that it was about 66-34 or maybe 60-40. The chair ruled that the motion passed and noone called for division. The meeting was ended with prayer.
After the meeting the woman who was the first speaker was heard to say “we’re voting on a youth elder and they aren’t even HERE!” I think the pastor did the youth a disservice by actually saying that only a few were there. I think that the youth (older than confirmation age) did themselves a disservice by failing to attend worship and this meeting.
One woman who I spoke to after the meeting said that she thought that the argument over 15 vs. 16 seats was really code for whether or not to have a youth elder and particularly for whether or not to change anything.
Even worse, this meeting shows a split in the congregation that my work on Project Open Door has hinted at. There is a core of the congregation for whom you are a new member until you’ve been there 5 years or more. They are also opposed to change of any type. There is an old/young split, and a new/long-time split. I fear for what this means when the Project Open Door team is expected to fulfill our mandate by suggesting changes to the visitor and community ministries of the church.
I’m glad that the vote went in favor of the youth, but also disturbed at the anti-youth sentiment shown by the debate. It seems nothing has changed in some congregations in the last 20 years.
Youth and Homosexuality and the church – jodie’s questions
jodie in the comments on yesterday’s update has posted a lot of questions. They deserve their own post, so I’ll answer them here.
How do the youth in your church view the Evangelical hostility to gay ordination? Is there a generational gap there too, besides the theological one? In my church the youth are flabbergasted that anybody should care. It seems that among college kids and younger, homosexuality just is. There is no scandal in it at all. There is huge support for kids that are gay but don’t get parental support, and if the Church has a problem with gays then it’s because the Church has forgotten what Christ was all about. Not only that, but if someone says that Homosexuality is a sin because the bible says so, then for them that is just proof that the bible is wrong. In other words, the Evangelical war is actually undermining the authority of the Scriptures. Are you guys seeing the same thing?
The answer requires a little background.
First, my church is tending toward the liberal end of the denomination. The town surrounding the church tends to be a bit more liberal as well.
Second, the youth group hasn’t talked about sexuality per se since I started working with them. It was the subject of a retreat last year before I joined them. So I’m working from conjecture.
Third, our youth are not homogenous in their views on sexuality. I know that we have some outspoken proponents of gay rights. I also know that we have some youth that I suspect hold more conservative views on the subject.
We’ll take the questions in the order that my brain spews text. Hopefully I’ll answer all of the questions.
We have one or two youth who participated on their own initiative in the National Day of Silence last year (and will participate this year). I’ll put them at the pro-gay end of the spectrum. We have had a youth who is the daughter of a pair of gay men (who were one of the first civil union couples in the state) – she has graduated now. Several members of the rest of the group talk about generally liberal causes (poverty, environment, the distrubution of wealth throughout the world).
We don’t talk about evangelicals using that name. We do talk about judgmental Christians (the implication being Too judgmental). Our youth group has as part of our covenant that the group is a safe space to talk about things that are important to you without ridicule from other group members. We don’t expect everybody to agree, and we do debate issues sometimes, but in the end we respect and love the person and at worst listen to the idea. The group does speak negatively about those Christians who are unable to love each person – who condemn them and use loaded names and terms for people. Please be clear – when I use the term “we” I mean the youth, the adult advisors, and the paid staff. As a group we only talk about judgmental Christians (we don’t even use a term for them) in passing. It’s not like we spend a night talking about them.
I think you’re right. Gay people are just a fact of life for these youth. They have grown up in an era where prejudice against identifiable groups (even groups attacking our country) is not tolerated. This attitude naturally carries over to homosexuality. These youth recognize that anti-gay speech (up to and often including “homosexuality is against God’s will”) is just not expected. If anybody harbors anti-gay feelings I haven’t seen it openly. Now, this is New Jersey where civil unions are the law of the land and are practically the same legally as marriages. I can see how it would be different in other parts of the country.
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Another problem that we are fighting in our youth group is pressure from church members (most often parents of youth who do NOT participate) not to make the church youth group too “churchy”. Our youth director reports that he’s actually had parents tell him that mentioning the Bible too often will drive the youth away from the group. I think that this is true for some youth, but hey! This is church. That’s what we do. We’ve made a conscious decision to up the theological and scriptural content of the youth program one notch and see how it goes. The youth know right from wrong and have a vague sense that it’s the Christian thing to do, but I believe they’d be hard-pressed to link their right actions to our beliefs. We aim to fix that.
Not only that, but if someone says that Homosexuality is a sin because the bible says so, then for them that is just proof that the bible is wrong. In other words, the Evangelical war is actually undermining the authority of the Scriptures.
I repeat that quote because it’s huge. I can’t say if this war is turning youth away from the church or the Bible, but I can speak for myself. It DOES turn me away from the church sometimes. It doesn’t turn me away from God, Christ or the Bible because I understand the concept of interpretation and “Reformed, Always Reforming”. Of course, I have experience with the church above and beyond what our youth have plus a religion minor in college including 50% Christian courses backing my thoughts. They don’t.
Speaking purely of my unchurched and formerly churched friends in their 20’s to 40’s, this legalistic attitude in the church does turn them away. Many of them were previously heavily involved in church but aren’t now – and the judgmental nature of the media image of Christianity (and their own experience with it) keeps them away. They speak of themselves as “still a Christian, but I don’t want to be part of a church”.
It’s also important to realize that Generation X and to a lesser extent Generation Y have an attitude of “waiting for the world to change”. They know that someday the leaders (corporate, church, governmental) will retire and die off and at that point the Gen X and Y folks will be able to make the changes that they see need to be made. There’s a feeling that gay marriage will inevitably be accepted by society and subsequently the church so why worry about it. It’s just a matter of time. In the mean time they go on about their lives without regard to the “outdated” rules.
And the Millenials? They aren’t waiting. They’re just forging ahead with their own rules and their own structure and succeeding. They aren’t waiting for the rules to change – they are going around the obstacles in their path. These are the folks who need to understand why a work assignment needs to be done and how it fits into the larger picture before they’ll lift a finger. The Gen X and Y folks are going to find that they waited too long for control and the Millenials already grabbed it from the Baby Boomers.
And the Millenials don’t understand what the fighting is about. Gay people are gay people – what’s the big deal?
One last note – the youth at my church barely understand what ordination is. We’re working on that – in part by adding a seat to Session intended for one year terms for a youth in high school. But the gay ordination fight isn’t on their radar. It’s not an issue in our church (yes, we’ve ordained openly gay people) and they just aren’t plugged into the news or greater church enough to understand the gay ordination debate. They just see it as more discrimination against a minority group.
So what’s up?
So what’s going on, Mark?
I’m glad you asked.
This week has been eventful.
Earlier in the week, we got the news that the company is looking into some form of ownership change for all or part of the company. I’ve already written about that.
Today we actually got good news. IT has gotten permission to give an allowance to IT employees who are required to be on-call for support issues. The department will pay up to $75 of our home broadband Internet and cell phone charges. For me that means $40 for Internet access. My cell phone usage for work is minimal and always within my plan.
At church I got the Project Open Door meeting scheduled for next week – we’ll be going over inactive members and how to interview them gently. I had a good Sr. High youth evening last Sunday and a great Youth and Young Adult council meeting on Tuesday. The YAYA council actually reduced the amount of logistical stuff that we go over to focus on the substance and theology of our program. We’re going to be more intentional about linking our activities to our theology in the future.
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Hockey – there are 3 games this weekend. I’m going to tonight’s game with Carolyn, and tomorrow night’s game with Carolyn, my sister and a friend of hers. Sunday’s game will get skipped – 3 in a weekend is too much.
Ham Radio – I got voted in as a member of the Delaware Valley Radio Association last week. Last weekend I went to their radio “shack” and got an orientation on the building, antennas, and radios. I’m also nearly finished with the ARRL EC-001 Level 1 Amateur Radio Emergency Communication online class. That class will teach me how to be useful in an emergency (like a flood, hurricane, or other disaster). The class is going really well – my mentor told me that I’m the first student out of the 100 or so that he’s worked with who managed to format all 4 sample emergency messages correctly on the first try.
In the Presbyterian world, things have been busy. We’ve had a presbytery approve a lesbian candidate as ready to receive a call to ministry, we got a young adult candidate for General Assembly Moderator (for the non-presby’s, that means roughly “head Presbyterian”). These actions (particularly the first one) have prompted the expected reaction from the conservative wing of the church. Our General Assembly this June will also be considering a complete re-write of the Rules portion of our constitution.
At my own church we have a congregational meeting this Sunday that will consider a change to the bylaws to loosen up the rules on the number of Elders and their term length. This is intended to allow the church to ordain it’s first Elder under age 18 for a term shorter than 3 years (because the youth probably couldn’t serve a full 3 years).
Life is a roller coaster, but in retrospect it’s been more up than down this week.
Youth Group and Instant Replay
Last night I experienced the first use (for me) of video instant reply at youth group.
We were playing a game of Human Tic-Tac-Toe. For those of you who haven’t heard of it, I’ll describe it below. The rest of you can skip the next paragraph.
You have to have at least 11 people. The group divides into two teams and one person is the gamemaster. You set up 9 chairs in a square (3 x 3) on a gym floor. The two teams assign a number (1 to however many there are, but the teams must be evenly sized) to each person. The game starts with the chairs empty and the teams lined up behind lines an equal distance from the chairs (opposite sides of the room). The gamemaster yells out a number, and the person from each team with that number runs, walks, moseys, to their selected chair. This continues until the game ends in a deadlock (alternately the team with the most people in chairs wins in case of a deadlock) or one team getting Tic-Tac-Toe. You continue as long as you want with new games. It’s both mental and physical – our most successful player walked over slowly and sat down rather than racing for the obvious play.
The game was a lot of fun. One game resulted in an epic collision between me and one of the other adult advisors that ended with both of us on the floor, the youth director asking “Are you guys OK?” and the rest of my team yelling “Mark! Sit in the chair!” Nobody was injured.
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The gamemaster took out her digital camera and started taking videos of the game. We had one game where two teams simultaneously got Tic-Tac-Toe in two different rows of chairs, and we had to resort to her video to determine who sat down first.
That’s gotta be the first use in OUR group of instant replay in a youth group activity.
Has anybody else used it?
Happy New Year – a roundup
Here’s what I’ve been up to in the last week or two:
12/17 – day off from work, didn’t do much
12/18 – work
12/19 – work, office Christmas lunch
12/20 – work, delayed by brake failure on the way to work, left early
12/21 – work, got my car back, watched the Trenton Devils win
12/22 – Smith family Christmas celebration (see below)
12/23 – church in the morning, youth group Christmas party in the evening
12/24 – off from work, Presbyterian Christmas service in the evening
12/25 – Catholic Christmas service followed by Brennan family celebration
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12/27 – off from work, watch Trenton Devils win
12/28 – off from work, watch Trenton Devils lose in shootout
12/29 – home, work on CDs for friends
12/30 – church, then work on CDs for friends
12/31 – work until 3pm, watch Trenton Devils, home for midnight
1/1 – off from work. Sleep.
Does it seem like I didn’t do much? You’re right. I didn’t. This was sabbath/rest time.
Happy New Year! See you in 2008!
Hurt by the church, and always looking over your shoulder
Many inactives (a percentage nearing 50%, if anecdotal evidence is accurate) have left because they feel (rightly or wrongly) that they have been hurt by the church. I’m one of them. (Read my story HERE for more)
I know that this makes it hard to return. I’m slowly realizing that the perception of abuse creates a barrier to trust.
I find that I’m constantly on the lookout for behaviors that exemplify the reasons that I left. I’m watching for extremist and exclusionary beliefs. I’m watching for people using positions of power for their own purposes. I’m watching for the use of labels (racist, homophobe) to stifle alternative points of view.
For the most part, I’m finding these things nationally. Presbyterian blogs of late are very partisan and inflammatory. The impulse to shout down and control the other party is stronger than the impulse to embrace the other party – from both the right and left. This is no surprise and it is a disappointment.
Locally, I’m not seeing it as much. Sure, there’s the woman on one committee who states her opinion as if it were held by many others (a majority, even). Of course there are abrasive personalities. There is passive/aggressive behavior (and I find myself drawn into it sometimes). It’s there, but at a lower level than I experienced before I left the church.
Yet, I’m still looking over my shoulder. I find myself waiting for the straw that breaks the camel’s back. I think about whether or not the latest minor upset (or major upset in the case of national/Internet Presbyterian politics) is enough to make me break. So far, not yet.
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When does the mainly positive experience build up to the point where you start feeling safe? When can you let your guard down?
I’m beginning to think that once you’ve been hurt by the church, that point never comes. Your sense of safety can increase, but you never reach the threshold of “safe”. Your innocence is lost.
And still I plod along.
Two other thoughts: First – this does not hold me back from being honest and open. A key part of my sense of self is that I MUST be honest and open, and that hiding your thoughts/feelings/ideas for temporary gain is actually a form of dishonesty. Second – I LOVE working with the youth group in part because they are ALWAYS honest, blunt, and frank. The combination of being unafraid to say anything combined with the love that our youth show us and each other is precious. I wish I could get back there again myself.
(Lest anyone think that I consider my experiences on the same level as those who have experienced real abuse – physical, mental or otherwise – please understand that I’m not. There are parts of my past that get near that line but not to the level of many. I am both glad that it hasn’t been that bad for me and sad/upset/frustrated that is IS that bad for others.)
Mission Presbytery Overture on Membership Vows
This week, Mission Presbytery passed the following overturn to the 218th General Assembly by 30 votes (out of a few hundred). I post it here because it doesn’t appear online anywhere.
My comments will follow the overture.
Mission Presbytery overtures the 218th General Assembly (2008) to direct the Stated Clerk to send the following proposed amendment to the presbyteries for their affirmative or negative votes:
Shall G-5.000 be amended as follows: insert the following as G-5.0200 and renumber the remaining items in G-5.000. *
G-5.0200 Membership Vows
At the time member-candidates present themselves to the session for reception into membership, whether by profession of faith, transfer of letter, or reaffirmation of faith, the following questions shall be addressed to the member-candidates for their answer as indicated. Sessions may make the determination, on an individual basis, to exempt certain persons from answering these specific questions due to physical or mental disability. In such a case, appropriate alternative questions and their presentation should be devised, still meeting the requirements of G-5.0101a.
Trusting in the gracious mercy of God, do you turn from the ways of sin and renounce
evil and its power in the world?I do.
Who is your Lord and Savior?
Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior.
Will you be Christ’s faithful disciple, obeying his Word and showing his love?
I will, with God’s help.
Will you be an faithful member of this congregation, share in its worship and ministry through your
prayers and gifts, your study and service, and so fulfill your calling to be a disciple of Jesus Christ?I will, with God’s help.
*Should the assembly send a revised Form of Government to the presbyteries for their positive or negative vote, the vows contained here should be inserted and included in the
appropriate membership section.Rationale:
Chapter XIV, G 14.0000, of the Book of Order lists the constitutional questions prescribed for those being ordained or installed to service in the offices of the church. In contrast, the Book of Order does not presently contain a corresponding set of constitutional questions for those wishing to enter into active church membership.
It is desirable that the Book of Order be amended to include constitutional questions for those seeking active membership since
(1) having common, standardized, questions for use throughout the denomination will emphasize the fact that membership is not solely in the local church, but in the larger, connectional, whole as well;
(2) it will provide a resource of readily accessible, doctrinally sound, and well-constructed questions for use by the local churches;
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(3) it will provide guidance and clarification to member-candidates in the step they are taking as outlined in G-5.0101a (“One becomes an active member of the church through faith in Jesus Christ as Savior and acceptance of his Lordship in all of life.”); and(4) its placement in G-5.000 appropriately emphasizes the promises and responsibilities of membership along with the meaning and privileges of membership.
————————————————————————-
I am opposed to this overture.
Here are the reasons.
1. It is duplicative of baptismal vows.
When I rejoined the Presbyterian Church of Lawrenceville last fall, I re-recited the baptismal vows. That is a common formula for confirmation vows and for adult profession or reaffirmation of faith. It’s also convenient in the case of a membership class that may include people who need to be baptized. These vows are similar but different to the baptismal vows that we used (not different in any substantial way).
2. It is subscriptionist in two ways:
A. It uses specific words. The current Book of Order allows variation in the vows for baptism (W-3.3603).
B. It establishes new requirements for membership:
1. Turning away from sin and renouncing evil
2. Obeying the Word
Currently, only ordained officers are required to make these vows (and others). They are part of the baptism ceremony, but in the case of infant baptism they are only promises made by the parents and not the adult-to-be. You can’t become a member through adult baptism (and profession) today without making those vows, but you can if you were baptized as an infant. The requirement to submit to the Word is completely new – it’s not even part of the baptismal vows. Take a look at the current chapter G-5 and you will not see that vow for membership. (It isn’t in the Directory for Worship either.)
The provided Rationale mentions the requirements for membership, but fails to point out that the vows go beyond the current requirements.
3. The vows are unnecessary.
The session should make this determination before accepting the prospective member. The session is required to sense a profession of faith. Honestly, I believe that these vows would reduce rather than increase the quality of the profession of faith – in my experience confirmands and adult prospective members go much farther than these vows when explaining their faith to the session.
I believe that the bar for membership should be set VERY low. As low as the requirements for taking communion, which are:
The invitation to the Lord’s Supper is extended to all who have been baptized, remembering that access to the Table is not a right conferred upon the worthy, but a privilege given to the undeserving who come in faith, repentance, and love. In preparing to receive Christ in this Sacrament, the believer is to confess sin and brokenness, to seek reconciliation with God and neighbor, and to trust in Jesus Christ for cleansing and renewal. Even one who doubts or whose trust is wavering may come to the Table in order to be assured of God’s love and grace in Christ Jesus. W-2.4011a
Membership should be the beginning of a new phase of commitment to Christ, not a hurdle. Membership is not subscription to beliefs, it’s a public recognition of joining a community.
Would I allow a person who does not subscribe to the overture’s vows to run Sunday School or serve communion? No. But I would allow them to be a member.
Now, if the GA were to adopt these vows I would make the following changes:
1. Move them to the Directory for Worship, probably in the current W-4.2000 area.
2. Make it optional for the vows to be taken before the session or congregation. I feel that they are more appropriate before the congregation, and are a natural replacement for most congregations’ tradition of asking all new members to repeat their baptismal vows when joining a new congregation. Alternately, making them before both would be a compromise. (My brother was sworn in as a police officer the night before the formal ceremony in order to allow him to take his gun home and be dressed in full dress uniform for the ceremony.)
We were looking for God, and we found Dog
Last night’s youth group meeting went rather well. We had a discussion on mission trips and potential destinations. It took a very theological turn somewhere in the middle and we ended up in 3 minutes or less with questions about repentance, Heaven, Hell, and whether or not God cares what we believe. We’re looking at planning Theology on Tap Junior Edition (or Root Beer Edition) as a result of the students’ hunger to talk about weighty topics.
After the meeting everybody went out to the parking lot. We discovered a small dog with a leash attached to his/her collar but no owner. Also no tag (please, even if the dog is chipped put a tag on the collar!). The dog was immediately loved to near-death. After the youth left, I called the local police asking if a dog had been reported missing. After I gave the description, the dispatcher gave me a perfect description of the dog’s collar and leash. He said he’d send the owners to us. I left the Youth Director standing at the curb with the dog waiting for the owner. I hope he/she got picked up OK.
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Next week will be fun – we’re doing “Movie in the Graveyard” for Halloween.
Elder Statesman
My father just told me that he’s going to be nominated to be an Elder at his church this coming Sunday.
This is not a surprise. He and my mother were both ordained as deacons at the same time, with me laying hands on both of them (I had been ordained the year before). Now that he is retired he’s looking for something to do and asked his pastor to fill that need.
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Of course, when I told Carolyn that Dad was going to be an elder, she said, “But he already is!”
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