Capitalization and “Christian”
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Is that technically correct?
Getting Involved at church
This week I have a homework assignment from New Member Class. I have to check off a list of activities that the church does that interest me. I also need to answer two questions: What do I expect to get out of Lawrenceville Presbyterian, and what do I expect to give to Lawrenceville Presbyterian?
I’m a rather strong introvert. It’s not always easy to detect – I tend to speak of myself as a “loud introvert”, someone who can keep up a facade that makes me appear more outgoing. As you may or may not know, introverts draw their energy from a different type of activity than extroverts (aside from eating and sleeping, of course). Extroverts go into social situations and actually draw energy from the room. Introverts on the other hand need solitude or a small group of close friends to create energy. Introverts can actually feel the energy draining from them in a large social setting like a party. Extroverts may go home charged up – introverts tend to go home exhausted. This is a big generalization, but still true.
So how does this relate to new church members (and me in particular)? I speak from my own experience.
I have to work hard to feel comfortable in a setting like the usual Fellowship Hour after church. I’m fairly comfortable in church – I’m there as part of a mostly anonymous crowd and only interact personally with those sitting around me, and even then only for the passing of the peace. But put me in a room and I’m lost. I end up a single individual wandering around the room without talking to someone, or even standing on the side. I will talk to those that I know, but I’m fairly unlikely to walk up to someone and introduce myself.
On the other hand, in a known group and particularly a small group, I’m fairly comfortable. On a committee, in a small study group, as part of a team – I’m comfortable. I know my place. It’s even more comfortable when I’m part of a group working towards a goal – putting together a special service, running a youth activity, serving on a committee, or even just bean-counting. In fact, that’s the best way for me to meet people – to work with them towards a common goal.
Just imagine a male with low sperm count and think about what others might be thinking and viagra cost in canada feeling. Thus this is how the drug works.There are several warnings regarding this cialis viagra online drug. The application of Generic Benicar has discovered to be efficient in these situations as this has been especially developed and manufactured in order to help those women who are suffering from the problem of ED or Erectile pfizer viagra tablets Dysfunction is not provided with proper, immediate and reliable treatment. This diet also viagra generika drugstore link could help men to reverse moderate ED. Once I feel comfortable in one small group, I feel that I have allies and I’m more comfortable branching out into something new. I know that I had allies before or at least that people were giving me the benefit of the doubt, but this subtle shift from “that person over there” to “Bill, the guy I worked with on X” is huge for me.
So the hard part is getting that bootstrap job in an organization. I feel like I need to be invited to participate in that first activity, and if it’s not joining an organized group but is more like an open activity I need to be dragged along. Once I’ve done something with people, I will know them and be more open to fully voluntary participation in the next thing. It’s just getting into that first thing that’s so hard.
The one exception to this rule is Camp Johnsonburg. This camp is the one place on the planet (no hyperbole here) where I have felt totally accepted for being authentically ME outside of my marriage. Camp Johnsonburg works hard to create that acceptance and even celebration of each of us – it’s probably the 2nd or 3rd core value of the camp. I go there, smell the unique combination of plants in the air, and feel at home immediately. The tension in my body drops dramatically nearly instantly. I am ME, and people like me for being me. There’s nothing more powerful than hearing “We’re glad that you came” and knowing that they really meant it. That they didn’t mean “We’re glad that you brought your money” or “We’re glad that you brought your skills” or even “We’re glad that you added one to the headcount”. We’re glad that you came – that you are who you are and that you are sharing it with us. That’s powerful. That’s a core of my theology – that all people are good to God to some degree or in some way unique to them.
As I re-read what I wrote above, I realize that camp isn’t really the only such time. There have been a few more. Serving as a YAD to Synod was like that. More recently, meeting with Jill, Nolan and Rick about Lawrenceville Presbyterian was like that – I felt at ease in the first few minutes. It might not have been on my checklist, but it was a huge factor in choosing a church.
So what does this mean when joining a church? I need to be pulled in. Please pull me in. You won’t be disappointed. I know that I have skills that can be put to good use, and I’ll give you a list on that piece of paper you asked me to fill out. I just need a little tug to get out of my shell.
Turandot, Boheme Opera Company, November 5, 2006
Here are two names to remember – Benjamin Warschawski and Olga Chernisheva. If you follow opera, you WILL be hearing these names again. You just might have to pay a lot more to actually see them.
Carolyn and I made our twice a year trek to the Trenton War Memorial to see Giacomo Puccini‘s Turnadot performed by The Boheme Opera Company. The Franco Alfano ending was used. This was a Sunday afternoon matinee.
The short version of the story: It’s a fairy tale of ancient China. The law states that in order to marry Princess Turandot, a suitor must ring a gong and then answer 3 riddles. If he fails, he is executed. If he succeeds, he wins his bride. Calaf, the exiled Prince of Tartary and his father the exiled King, along with their servant Liu, come to Peking and Calaf is entranced with the Princess. He rings the gong, and then the real fun ensues. He successfully answers the riddles, and Turandot is horrified that she’ll have to marry. She gets the unknown prince to agree that if she can discover his name by dawn, he will die. Then the whole city spends the night trying to get the name under penalty of death. He reveals the name to Turandot, and her heart melts and she marries him anyway.
This opera is interesting in part because Puccini died before he completed it. Just after Liu’s funeral scene, Puccini died of a heart attack while undergoing experimental (in 1924) radiation therapy for throat cancer. The opera was completed by Franco Alfano – a student of Puccini’s and a fully-qualified composer in his own right – under the direction of Toscanini. I am not particularly fond of the duet that Alfano wrote, but the ending is every bit as magical as I’m sure Puccini imagined.
(For those who have read my opera tales before – nothing went wrong with the production. I usually get some disaster, but for this night I only spotted one mistake by a chorus member.)
When sufficient blood is not delivered then the person will have problems achieving erection. viagra 10mg But the researcher observed People who are between 40 to 45 minutes of the intake of it. the original source generic sildenafil from india Mamma Nancy said to me: “I think you have shown your petticoat on this one.” That was her way of saying I had stepped over a social boundary cute-n-tiny.com tadalafil online cheap and revealed some unacceptable part of myself. Taking these two drugs in one time will as a result cause rapid drop in your blood pressure, a sildenafil tablets in india problem that will shake the stability of your body. Olga Chernisheva was fabulous in the soprano role of Liu, the slave girl to the Tartar King Timur. She sang the entire night beautifully, particularly in her death scene (Tu che di gel sei cinta). She can also act, and played a very convincing corpse for the following scene.
By far, the oral fireworks of the night came from Benjamin Warschawski in the tenor role of Calaf. The character gets the most famous aria from this opera – Nessun Dorma – “None shall sleep”. (HERE by Pavarotti) Warschawski performed it note-perfect with as much emotion as I’ve ever seen. It was clear that he both sings well AND understood the emotions behind the words. In fact, he performed it just as well as Pavarotti in the clip that I linked to. Unfortunately, Puccini didn’t leave a gap for a standing ovation at that point in the opera – we had to wait until the curtain call.
One thing about regional opera – you almost always get a standing ovation from some of the audience during the curtain call. I think that people come to the opera in part to be a part of such a celebration. However, this opera got a richly deserved Standing O from the crowd – about 80% of the crowd were on their feet before the minor characters had taken their bows and 100% were on their feet by the company bow. As always, the Boheme orchestra was excellent and the sets and props and lighting and such were wonderful. When Warschawski took his bow, the roar from the crowd was deafening.
The one downside to the production was the performance of Othalie Graham as Turandot. This is a tough opera part for anyone – Puccini wrote more high C’s into this part than I’ve ever seen in a soprano role. However, Graham didn’t seem up to the part in this performance. Her high C’s were loud but she never quite reached the pitch, and her staging was wooden – even at the end when her heart had supposedly melted. I have to wonder whether or not she had a cold for this performance. However, she was creditable in this very difficult role.
Next up for the company – Rigoletto April 20th at 8pm and April 22nd at 3pm. The company gives a pre-curtain talk about the opera 1 hour and 15 minutes before curtain – I strongly recommend arriving in time for it.
New Member Class – Day 3 (Last Day)
Today was the last day of new member class.
Carolyn and I just barely made it on time due to Carolyn’s mammogram (routine – as far as we know all is well). She made it home, and after some bending of the speed limit laws we made it to class just on time. We had expected Carolyn to join us late, so this was better than we thought.
This week, we had a few new faces. One friend of a participant visiting from out of town, and a new person (another seminary student) who is being run through “remedial New Member Class” to catch up. Most if not all of the missing folks from last week were there today.
We started with another sharing session – this time talking about why we believe that Lawrenceville Presbyterian is right for us. This is one of the questions that the session will ask us in a week and a half, so I believe that this was planned to let us gather our thoughts. This took about 1/2 hour (and we got started 10 minutes late – everybody was running late today).
Next, we did a Lectio Divina session on Genesis 2:4-9. We did a breathing exercise to calm us, and then the passage was read twice by two different people. We meditated on it for a few minutes, and then each of us gave our thoughts. I concentrated on the trees. I had two thoughts – one was that I liked the diversity of the trees, all different and yet all good for food. I believe that God sees people like that – all good (to some degree) and good for each other (to some degree). The passage also brought to mind the fact that I’m now old enough that I can see the growth of trees. I’m thinking primarily of the trees around our house – which over the 10 years that we’ve been here have grown from saplings to substantial trees.
Probiotic bacteria produce metabolites, such viagra online prescription as conjugated linoleic acid (CLA), that demonstrate powerful anti-inflammatory effects. The entry of viagra 25mg s made a buzz in 1998, after when Pfizer laboratories had introduced it for ED apartfrom heart problems. levitra earlier used as the drug for that person. Firstly let’s discuss if there is a difference in the length of your penis, as well as the girth. cialis viagra for women But if you want some price of viagra tablet sound teenage dating advice for the next time, turn up the volume. After that, Jill Cifelli talked about stewardship and did a quick rundown on the volunteer opportunities and missions of the church. She also included adult education opportunites. Joan Semenuk was also there and added to the list where Jill missed a few. Then, Joan talked about financial stewardship and the church and we were given pledge cards (I didn’t take one – I filled one out and handed it in on Stewardship Sunday two weeks ago). Then we were given a quick overview of the process of meeting with the session on the 15th.
At the end, Jill asked me to speak about the Reconnecting with Faith retreat coming up in January. I spoke extemporaneously for a few minutes on the retreat and I hope that a few people found it intriguing. This group isn’t really the target audience – they are already in a church – but perhaps they know of someone else.
After the formal class, a few deacons arrived and laid out a brunch for any of us who could stay. They had bagels, fruit salad, and two casseroles (the ham and egg one was good!) and drinks and such. We all sat around and talked and ate. It was nice.
I have a homework assignment – I have to fill out a worksheet for Jill identifying the areas of church life that I would be interested in participating in and there are a few questions on the back about what we expect to get from the church and what we plan to give to the church (not just money, time and resources).
We meet with the session on November 15th. They take us into membership formally at that time, and then we are introduced at church the following Sunday.
Happy Birthday, Carolyn
On this date, some number of years ago that I’m not stupid enough to reveal, my wife Carolyn was born in northern NJ.
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Happy Birthday, sweetie.
All Saints Day
It’s All Saints Day.
I’m a little on the young side (at age “something less than 40”), so I haven’t lost a lot of role models to the great beyond. I have, however, lost TRACK of a number of people. Below is a list of people who were involved in my life at a critical moment, keeping me sane or pointing me in the right direction. (My saints) I’m only listing those people who have passed on or who I have lost contact with – those I still know where to find will not appear so please don’t be offended.
And if you’re on the list, I’d love to hear from you again.
Mary June Staples Capps Smith
Mrs. Epstein – my 3rd grade teacher
Walter Schneider
Walter Rosenberger
Gretchen Dater
several campers and counselors in Jr. High units at Camp Johnsonburg
Kim Beardsley
Most of the Work Camp units at Camp Johnsonburg in the mid-80’s
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Katherine Cunningham
Tim Ives
Several members of the Synod Mission Council, Synod of the Northeast, 1986-87
Jessica Sunshine
Jessica Meyerson
Dawn Clarke
Denise Fishburne
Carole McCauley
Dan McDonald
Marj Albright
and others whose names I can’t remember.
I know that I hurt some of you on the list in error or through stupidity. I’m sorry – please know that I am still haunted to this day by my actions.
Your Mouth or Your Ears – Only One Works At A Time
First, a disclaimer. I’m just as guilty as everybody else of what I’m about to write. I’m also getting older, and as a result my wind wanders more than it used to.
In the PC(USA), we’re fighting. It’s over gay ordination, it’s over Biblical inerrancy, it’s over the fundamental question of whether or not the Bible is a rulebook. For this post, it doesn’t matter why we’re fighting. Today we’re gonna talk about HOW we’re fighting.
Each side is alternating name-calling of the other side and arguments meant to convince the other side that they need to change their thinking. I can’t do much here about the former – either you see those with whom you disagree as worthy of respect or you don’t. But the latter CAN be fixed.
It’s a simple idea taught to youth, but forgotten with adults:
When your mouth is open, your ears are closed.
When you are speaking to someone, you are not listening. Pretty simple, eh? The implications go deeper than this.
When you are formulating a response to the other person’s argument in your head, your ears are closed.
We’ve all experienced this. You sit in a meeting at work and somebody says something that you disagree with. You immediately start working on making your rebuttal convincing, waiting for a break in the conversation to get your words in. You’ve STOPPED listening – your brain is someplace else.
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You’ve been there too. You have something to say. You aren’t really listening, you’re like a tiger waiting to pounce at the right moment. You aren’t hearing what the other person is saying, you’re just listening for the silence that you can fit your speech into.
How do we combat this?
More silence. Respect the other person by listening to their argument. Use the silence to allow the ideas to settle in. Formulate your response when you don’t need to be open to what’s going on.
Don’t just speak to fill space. Make your speech meaningful. Have you ever been in a meeting where one person sits quietly in the corner, saying little? When they do speak, does the whole room say “Ahhh. Now I get it”? That person has learned to make a lot of impact with few words. In the future, that person’s utterances will be taken just that little bit more seriously – “He doesn’t say much, but what he does say is worth waiting.” Have you ever been that person? How much more satisfying was it than being the center of attention?
And last – you are NOT going to convince anybody if you call them names. Or use terms that amount to calling them names – that hurt them with something important to them. These are terms like “apostate”, “homophobic”, “Biblically unsound”, “uncaring”. Once you’re angered the other party, you have completely lost the ability to change their minds. Their ears are closed whether they are speaking or not.
Once we stop talking past each other and AT each other, we can talk TO each other. We can learn FROM each other. Then we have a chance at building a better world.
“Because I said so” is rarely convincing.
New Member Class – Day 2
Today, we all struggled out of bed into the driving rain and heavy winds to reach Lawrenceville Presbyterian and the 2nd day of new member class. At one point on Route 206 the road was partially flooded due to leaves blocking the storm drain.
This time, we started with each person telling a story of their experience with church. Most (if not all) were positive stories of their experiences in church during a previous life. A few were non-church stories involving church camp or even a special Christian performance. A surprising number of people indicated a fondness for the formal ritual of church, but this isn’t surprising as many of the group had experience in a Roman Catholic or Byzantine Rite church (Greek Orthodox, Russian Orthodox, etc) church.
After that we took a tour of the church buildings. Normally this would end the second session, but Temple Micah (a Jewish temple sharing the church building on Fridays and Saturdays) had a Bat Mitzvah (congratulations, Rachel!) scheduled for the morning so we had to get our tour in early. We heard about the history of the church and saw most of the church rooms.
The india generic cialis victims those who unfortunately got trapped by this sexual malfunction. There are some tadalafil overnight delivery http://greyandgrey.com/appellate-victories/triola/ people who take these issues very rapidly. It is difficult to complete the sexual activity successfully, feel bad about it. viagra vs generic The main objective and interest of physiotherapy is to maximise movement as well as levitra sale quality of life by people suffering from lupus. After that, we were almost out of time. Pastor Jeff pointed out some important points in the handouts on Presbyterian terms and the importance of membership and talked about the Book of Confessions and the Book of Order. We were then exhorted to read up at home.
Next week will be on stewardship and we will do Lectio Divina. Pastor Jeff will be in Israel and Palestine with a presbytery group, and won’t be able to attend. Joan Semenuk will be joining us.
There were a few faces missing this week. I’m hoping that they were unable to make the class rather than deciding not to join. We were also blessed with whole families this week because the terrible weather cancelled soccer games.
Reconnecting with Faith: Finding Your Home Retreat – January 26-28, 2007
Re-Connecting with Faith: Finding Your Home – Adult Retreat
Johnsonburg Presbyterian Center, Johnsonburg, NJ
January 26-28, 2007
Are you considering a church home? Do you currently attend a church, but feel like you’re not getting everything you need? Are you looking at spiritual alternatives? Have you recently moved and need to find a new church? If you answered yes to any of these questions, this retreat is for you!
For a variety of reasons, a large number of adults leave the spiritual home of their youth, or spirituality altogether. However, after a while, many of these people feel like something is missing in their lives. Returning to a spiritual community after an absence can be a bit challenging for many people. Will you encounter the situations that caused you to leave? Will you be accepted? Will you be fulfilled? All too often these challenges result in the person staying away from a spiritual community altogether, and everyone loses.
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Or perhaps you’ve moved to a new area and are having trouble finding that church home like the one you left behind. This can often be a long and difficult process. After all, how do you go about “trying on” churches, or even denominations for that matter?
This weekend long retreat is held for adults who are currently without a spiritual home, or who are attending a church but don’t feel fed there. We’ll take some time to tell our own stories; who we are and what it is we’re seeking. We’ll also look at some of the challenges in finding a spiritual home and what some different churches have to offer. Come and join those who have gone through this discernment process before and who can help you find your way.
For more information, contact the camp office at 908-852-2349 or info@campjburg.org. The camp website is found at http://www.campjburg.org/. The cost will be $45 per person, but if money is what’s keeping you from the retreat contact the camp – we have limited assistance available.
NJ Gay Activists – Pause While You’re Ahead
Gays and lesbians in NJ are celebrating the Supreme Court decision on Wednesday that will eventually give them the right to marry or enter an equivalent union. However, some don’t believe that the decision goes far enough.
In this article, Steven Goldstein (the head of Garden State Equality) is quoted as saying that he will continue to fight for the term marriage to apply to gays and lesbians until there is “blood on these knuckles”. He continues: “We will outwork, outplay, outthink and demolish the other side”. The Garden State Equality website says:
Those who would view today’s Supreme Court ruling as a victory for same-sex couples are dead wrong. So help us God, New Jersey’s LGBTI community and our millions of straight allies will settle for nothing less than 100% marriage equality. Let decision makers from Morristown to Moorestown, from Maplewood to Maple Shade, recognize that fundamental fact right now.
My day job is that of an IT Project Manager. In both my college days and in the years since, I’ve received training in change management. One fundamental principle of change management is that you must leave those impacted by the change enough time to process the change and make it a part of their world view. Attempting to force a change upon masses who may not agree with the change in a short period of time by fiat is a bad idea – the change is doomed to be actively resisted at best and to fail at worst. The bigger the change, the bigger the amount of time required to process it. Any attempt to force change to happen faster merely causes a backlash against that change. In the workplace that results in passive and aggressive behavior: refusing to use the new process, intentionally working slowly to punish those forcing the change, excessive sick days, negative comments passed behind the backs of those making the change, etc. In society, imagine failure to recognize the change as the best case, with actual violence as the worst case.
When a minority (numerically) wins a victory over the majority, they must behave as a good winner. That means acknowledging the loser’s value even though they have not triumphed, and choosing not to emphasize the loser’s attributes/mistakes/ability. “Yay, we won!” not “Yay, you lost!” Then, the losers need to be given space to grieve for their loss and incorporate the new reality into their worldview. Pressing for the next concession immediately is only going to infuriate those who are already wounded by the decision. That puts them in fight or flight mode, and with societal change flight isn’t really a possibility.
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Let’s face it, time is on the side of the gay community. Polls show that gay rights are increasingly supported by the public, and that the support is more positive among those who are younger. Time will finally erase the stigma incorrectly applied to non-heterosexuals, but it will take time. Just as it has taken time to reduce racism and gender bias.
Winners have a responsibility to losers to ensure that the loss is not so painful that the losers walk away from the game (or worse, change the rules to cause the winners to lose next time). Losers have a responsibility to accept the loss and act graciously towards winners. Both must do this because next time, they could be on the other side.
This principle is too often lost in today’s society, religion, and politics.
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