Young Adult – not anymore
Next week, I have a birthday. This birthday ends in a zero, and puts me at the upper limit of what the PC(USA) denomination considers a “young adult”.
(Note – this is not a call for well wishes or gifts. However, my e-mail address is in the column on the left if you are so inclined. 🙂 )
Carolyn and I are in a strange spot. We are childless by choice, and at that age where most of our friends are having children (or in some cases have children as old as teenagers). We don’t quite fit in the world of folks “our age”, because we aren’t sharing the same experiences.
At the same time, we’re not finding that we have a ton in common with the folks who are behind us in years but also childless. These are the true young adults – the not-yet-married, the under-40-not-gonna-get-married, and the married-without-children. Don’t get me wrong – I love my friends in this group. It’s just that I feel a little different from them. Carolyn and I have been married for over 13 years at this point – most of the young adult friends that I have aren’t married at all and those that are haven’t been married quite so long.
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I think I’ve crossed the line. I don’t feel like a young adult anymore. If we’d had children I’d probably have crossed the line at least 5 years ago. I now find myself saying and doing things that my parents used to do – I catch myself saying “Shoot. I sound like my parents”.
Each person crosses this line in their own time. I know folks over 40 who are still young adults at heart. I know folks under 30 who are no longer young adults. I just get this feeling that some time in the last 5 years, I crossed the line without noticing. I’m noticing now because there will shortly be a zero in my age.
And it’s just as it should be.
Theology on Tap
The Princeton, NJ Nassau and Witherspoon Street Presbyterian churches, the Presbyterian Church of Lawrenceville, and the Princeton Seminary have jointly started a young adult program called “Theology on Tap”. Every 2nd Thursday this fall (and if last night is any indication, it will continue beyond fall) at 8pm young adults gather at the Yankee Doodle Tap Room of the Nassau Inn in Princeton for community and some light theological discussion.
Last night was the first event. I estimate that 20-25 people showed up by the time I left at 9:30 (gotta be at work today). There was a mix of church members, church leaders (clergy and staff), and seminarians plus perhaps one or two “bring a friend” folks. I heard some folks saying that they’d invite friends to the next one, and I know that the postcards (with the image above) were taken to be given out. We may have more people next time. Ages ranged from the low 20’s through me at near 40, to a few who I suspect were older than 40.
Each of us was given an 18oz glass (call it a pint) with the PCUSA logo on one side and “Theology on Tap” on the other. We used them for drinking and were able to take them home. (I’m not clear on whether or not to bring them back for the next meeting.) Only one was broken – my fault – I stood up to let somebody by and the chair hit the table behind me and it tipped and CRASH! Oops.
The meeting organizers bought food for the group, and the rest of us paid for our drinks. I suspect that the glasses were the biggest expense and otherwise this program is pretty inexpensive to run.
After a short introduction of everybody to everybody, we broke into small group and were asked to discuss any burning theological questions. The questions weren’t easy. At my table (from memory, I think I’m missing a few):
- What does Jesus’ death on the cross mean to me?
- Is God still involved in the world today? Does prayer work?
- A brief discussion on the Trinity and the paradox of three-in-one
- A statement on morality and society
- Where do people of other faiths fit into God’s plan and/or salvation?
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As I said – that’s what I remember. I think we covered 6 or 7 just throwing ideas around. The crowd was highly educated on the relevant issues – the few who weren’t ministry professionals or seminary students were highly involved laypeople like me. After the theology the group continued with basic socializing.
For those on Facebook, there is a group for Theology on Tap in Princeton at Theolodoodle.
Now for my personal impressions.
I’m a fairly strong introvert, though I can present a brave face to new people and the less sensitive might not pick me out as an introvert. Because of that, parties (and hanging out at a bar counts) tend to sap my energy. I generally don’t enjoy them. I tend to arrive early and leave early.
Last night was nothing like that. I felt comfortable with the folks that I met and felt that “instantly comfortable” feeling with the new folks that I met. I left at 9:30 not because I wanted to, but because I had to get sleep before going to work today. That’s rare for me – I usually leave because I want to but last night I left because I had to.
The other rare thing is that I liked everybody that I met. That is nearly unique in my experience and it is unique to church-related events (Youth Advisory Delegate events, church camp, and this). I enjoyed meeting Barbara, Kate’s friends Sarah and Sarah (apologies if the spelling is wrong) and Grier at our small table. I enjoyed meeting the others in other groups and next time I’ll make sure to mingle more with people that I don’t know. I was also pleasantly surprised at how well I fit in at almost-40 with the folks from age 23 to slightly-older-than-me.
The theological discussion was also deep and meaningful for its brevity. These folks have actually thought about the questions and have something very real to say. It was all said without judgment of those who hold an alternative view.
I’m 90% sure that I’ll be there for the 3 scheduled meetings to come. I might miss next month because of my schedule. I’m also going to see if Carolyn wants to come.
If you’re in the Princeton area and interested in meeting some great people and talking theology, stop by on the 2nd Thursday starting at 8pm!
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