2010: My personal Year in Review

December 31, 2010 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Candidate Process, Job Search, Life, Religion, Seminary, Work 

I haven’t done a Year in Review post for a few years because I didn’t have any good news then. The two New Years after the layoff were times that I survived rather than showing improvement. This year was different. Very up and down, but averaging to up.

I started the year still looking for a secular job and having little luck, depressed after just barely missing out on a job right before Christmas. (Irony: after I made my decision to change direction, the person that they picked left and they wanted to interview me again.) That all changed with two days close together in January. One day a good friend accompanied me to a job fair at Rutgers, which turned that day from a depressing trip to a job fair to a day with a friend and by-the-way time at a job fair. We also had lunch with the campus Protestant chaplain at Rutgers and I found myself asking her to have the local seminary contact me. Later I realized that I had no idea why I’d asked for that. A couple weeks later I had a rough Monday morning and the same friend met met for coffee. That conversation led me to make the decision that I had to do serious vocational discernment and seriously consider seminary. What followed that decision is a long story that gets told as the year follows.

February found me stretching in many ways. I started auditing a class at Princeton Seminary and meeting with folks from the seminary and my church about my sense of call. I started serving on my first presbytery committee. I started spiritual direction. And at this point in my journey I was on a dual track – religious vocational discernment and secular job search.

March found me working a part-time job for a local ecumenical group serving as the project manager for a June justice revival weekend. It also found me working full-time (to start) for the US Census counting noses at group living facilities and service-based locations (shelters, food banks). Regretfully the Census job didn’t pan out as advertised and the “full-time” work ended up being at best 15 hours a week and only lasted 3 weeks. But it did give me a technical break in unemployment that allowed me to form my own small business. That business continues to provide a small amount of income and will hopefully do so as I go forward in school. March also found me being approved by the Session of my church to apply to be an Inquirer in the PC(USA).

April found me making what was nearly the final turn to the new direction. The justice revival work got going in earnest. I started the Youth Ministry Certificate program at Princeton Seminary with a retreat before the annual Youth Forums. And I started some steps to take care of the space between my ears.

May was packed with growth for me. The work between my ears got going in earnest. My justice revival work was in high gear before the June weekend. I got to be in the audience of The Daily Show and spend a great evening with two friends. And I got to go to the Unconference (in Maryland in 2010) and make new friendships that I hope to have for years if not forever.

In June the justice revival happened and was an amazing and tiring weekend.  And I began preparations for July.  Also in June I began working on the family stresses that were created by my discernment process and change of career.

In July I got an opportunity that I’d been hoping for since I returned to the church and started working with youth – I got to go to the Presbyterian Youth Triennium.  The youth director at my church wrote the Small Group Manual, and as a result I was able to attend as Small Group Staff, Small Group Leader Trainer, and as a Small Group Leader.   My presbytery’s delegation was housed across the street from the dorm that I was in, so we got to spend a lot of time together.  I had a blast, and attending Triennium cemented my sense of call.  After that trip, the last obstacle between me and my new career path was resolved, and my new journey began.  At the end of July, Carolyn and I got to take a short vacation that we desperately needed – giving us time to reconnect and re-explore each other.

August was a quiet month of preparation work.  I spent the time getting ready for the new year at church (in my new role as President of the Deacons, and with new youth staff) and preparing to meet with CPM.  The Committee on Preparation for Ministry of my presbytery approved me as an Inquirer at the end of the month, beginning the official process towards ordination as a PC(USA) minister.  I also began my work on applications for Princeton Seminary.

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October was a time of celebration.  Carolyn and I celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary.  We also one week later spent 3 days visiting Princeton Seminary in the role of prospective student and wife.  Both of us felt very comfortable with that visit and very much at home.  And the big celebration happened a week later at the end of the month, when I received my acceptance for the MDiv program at Princeton!

November brought a chance to enjoy success and reorient myself to my new direction.  I delivered my commitment letter to Princeton Seminary while attending the Emerging Adulthood seminar early in the month.  The rest of the month was spent completing some work between my ears and preparing for the holiday season.

December has been a time of waiting and preparing.  With the help of friends, I’m working on preparing for seminary.  I’m building lists of books to read before I start.  I’m trying to decide about whether to pursue Summer Language (an intensive 10 week program for Greek or Hebrew) or take one last summer trip with my church youth group.  And I’m reorienting my thinking.  One bright event of December was a chance to meet a Twitter friend from Atlanta, one of her friends and a local friend for lunch at Drew University.  I also unfortunately spent the end of November and most of December fighting a sinus infection that took a lot of my energy.

Overarching the year were a few events that do not fit the chronology well.  From late spring until today (and continuing) I’ve been doing a lot of work in my head to grow, and to process the changes that such a large career shift creates.  That large shift has also produces some stresses – in family, in friendships, and in relation to my church.  I’ve worked hard with those involved to try to navigate the emotions produced and the logistics involved.  This in turn has created further growth and improvement in me, in my relationships, and hopefully in the others impacted.  This work has been HARD, but well worth it.  And the relationships that have been involved I believe to be stronger now.  I won’t say that pain is necessary to growth, but I will say that getting through pain successfully often produces growth.  Last, a note that a few serious illnesses of family members came in the fall and that was rough too.  Those family members are on the mend.

Also not fitting the chronology well were the growth of a few new and old friendships through shared experiences.  I can only hope that I have given to them as much as they have given to me.

All in all, this year was a very up and down year.  I am thankful for my wife and friends who supported me through it, who listened to my ravings and pain, and who continue to stand by me.  While it has been rough most of the roughness has taken place in the service of growth in the right direction.  And there have been some glorious moments of celebration and happy-dances.  I’d never have believed that I’d jump up and down in my kitchen past age 40 until the day I opened my seminary acceptance letter.

I end the year with a new direction when I had no direction.  I end the year with strengthened relationships.  And I end the year with new friends that I value greatly.  And I end the year with a much, much stronger sense of the direction that God wants me to take, as well as many reminders that God is always with me.

I’ll take it.

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Gifts for Seminarians

December 15, 2010 by · 1 Comment
Filed under: Princeton Seminary, Religion, Seminary 

It’s Christmastime.  I was looking for gift ideas for folks who wanted suggestions for gifts for me.  I asked my crowd on Twitter what gifts made sense for someone who would be starting seminary in the near future.

They came up with these suggestions.  I have linked the suggesters Twitter profiles.  (NOTE:  some of these folks are Protected on Twitter, and some of the protected folks are open to new follow requests. You may or may not be successful in following someone).

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(DISCLAIMER – if you click one of the links above and it takes you to Amazon.com, I might get a tiny commission on your purchase.)

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How to prepare for seminary?

November 15, 2010 by · 9 Comments
Filed under: Candidate Process, Princeton Seminary, Religion, Seminary 

I’m in an unusual situation.  Most people don’t apply to seminary until near the application deadlines.  (Princeton Seminary’s deadline is February 15, and most apply in January or February.)  I am ten months from starting the Fall Term next year (or eight months if I take advantage of the Summer Language program) and I’ve already been accepted and have confirmed my attendance and paid the deposit.  Most people are also already doing something before seminary, either school or work.  I’m not – I’m at the end of a period of unemployment and I have a very-part-time business.  So I’m in the rare situation of having a lot of time before seminary starts and a lot of free time (whether I like it or not).

So I come to you, particularly those of you who have graduated from a seminary or are attending one now.

What would you do to get ready if you had a lot of time to do so?  What would you read?  What activities would you undertake?
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There are a few required activities that I will be undertaking related to both seminary and the PC(USA) Inquirer process.  I will be scheduling the required Career Counseling (ie. psych eval) soon.  And I have to work on getting my NJ state-required vaccinations.  But that’s about all I’ve come up with.

Help me out, either with comments here or on Facebook or twitter.  Thanks!

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Trading Limbos

November 8, 2010 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Job Search, Life, Princeton Seminary, Religion, Seminary, Work 

Sometime last week, I realized that I’ve traded one kind of limbo for a new kind.  A better kind, from where I sit.

For the past 2 years while I’ve been out of work, I had a soul-crushing type of limbo.  Any day I could get a response to a contact or job application inviting me to an interview.  Any day could start the process of becoming employed again, in as soon as a few days to a few months.  A number of times that process happened over the 2 years, but that was a very small part of that time and never resulted in ultimate success – a new job.  The rest of the time I was left with the depressing, esteem-destroying time trying to make that happen.  For most people there’s only one path out of that limbo, and it’s always the last path that you take.  (That’s a lot like the truism that you always find your lost items in the last place you look.  If not, then you’re wasting your time after you do find them.)  Some folks get lucky and get the choice of two paths out of the unemployment limbo, but to me that looks more like two branches of the same last path.

I’ve taken an unusual path out of that limbo – the path of further education – made even more unusual by my future vocation.  This is a riskier path and I likely wouldn’t be taking it except for a few unusual circumstances.  First and foremost there is God’s call to ministry that I have discerned (and will continue to discern in the years ahead).  Second, there are some things about my place in the world that are fortuitous (whether you credit God, good planning, or dumb luck) for this path.  I live near one of the most prestigious Presbyterian seminaries (and I seem to be comfortable in the culture there).  My wife has a very solid income that is big enough to support this.  We were able to (and chose to) save severance and unemployment money.  And we have chosen a lifestyle that doesn’t include the expenses that others need to plan for – mainly children and their futures.

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But it’s still limbo.  I need to figure out what to do with the next 10 months.  I would prefer to make some money by doing small church-related projects like Revive!  (last spring’s justice revival, which employed me as a 15-hour-per-week project manager for a few months).  I can make some money from my itty-bitty tiny computer consulting company.  I could go to a temp agency and see what they’ve got.  I’ve also got some time to work on myself, to try to continue the personal growth that the last 6 months has included (and the last 2 years, for that matter).

So I’ve exchanged one limbo for another.  And I’m in a better place as a result.  But the future is still not completely clear.  But … part of my growth of late has been comfort with ambiguity.  I’m feeling good about all of this.

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Princeton Theological Seminary, here I come

November 3, 2010 by · 2 Comments
Filed under: Candidate Process, Princeton Seminary, Religion, Seminary 

So, Mark … anything new going on?

I’m so glad you asked.

I’M GOING TO SEMINARY!

Princeton Theological Seminary

Ok, let’s back up a bit.

A few months ago, I told you about my change in career and life direction.  I’ve continued pursuing that direction.  (If you follow that link, it backs up even farther)  In late August I was enrolled as an Inquirer in my presbytery, confirmed by my presbytery in September.

I’m geographically bound (my wife has a job here that pays well enough for me do follow this path), so my choices for a Reformed seminary came down to two:  Princeton Theological Seminary and New Brunswick Theological Seminary.  Both are fine seminaries with different focuses.  Princeton focuses exclusively on the full-time student who is able to complete their M.Div. degree in 3 years (4 for a dual degree).  Princeton is a PC(USA) seminary, and is very academic.  New Brunswick (a Reformed Church in America seminary) focuses on the part-time student (though some students attend full-time) and emphasizes the practical aspects of ministry, with a concentration on urban ministry.  Princeton Seminary has an ivy-league-like setting surrounded on three sides by Princeton University, and has about 600 students at any given time, with about 475 of them in a Masters program.  New Brunswick is in a mixed college/urban setting, surrounded on three sides by the Rutgers University College Avenue campus (where I earned my undergraduate degree in Computer Science).  New Brunswick has smaller graduating classes of 50 or so.  Princeton has some ethnic diversity, but New Brunswick is so diverse that it’s hard to call any ethnicity a majority.  Both share about the same gender diversity.  Theologically the student bodies are quite different.  Princeton’s students are 50% Presbyterian, with the rest scattered among many denominations and non-denominational backgrounds.  New Brunswick has few Presbyterian students (and not even a majority of Reformed students) with a very wide spread of denominations and non-denominational backgrounds.  Both reside in my presbytery, and have connections to my Committee on Preparation for Ministry (CPM) and students from my presbytery.  Princeton is a very residential school – nearly all students live on campus in either dorms or apartments.  New Brunswick has very limited housing and most students commute (and many work full-time and study at night).

I visited New Brunswick last May during one of their open house events.  I had time one evening to meet faculty, staff, current students and other prospective students.  I was able to attend chapel, receive a tour of the campus (primarily the library), and attend a class.  What I discovered was a very family-like atmosphere – it was clear to me that the faculty and staff truly care about their students as individuals.  The class that I attended was professionally taught and intimate – about 30 students for a course that would have over 100 at Princeton.  The main building is about the size of one of Princeton’s academic or administrative buildings, if not a little smaller.  I felt that I could study there, but I also felt out of place demographically and theologically.

I have had MANY connections and experiences with Princeton Seminary.  My church employs 4 seminary interns each year, and we have 3 Princeton students not “of the congregation” under care for their own journeys.  I have attended events like the Institute for Youth Ministry Forum.  On the advice of a friend, I audited a class at Princeton last spring.  I have a large number of Twitter friends who are current Princeton students or alumni.  A few church members and staff relatives are employed at the seminary.  My presbytery work and the Revive! event last June brought me into contact with many other folks who fit all of those categories.

Last spring during the Youth Forums, and on days that I audited the class or had a Revive meeting on campus, I sat on the steps of Miller Chapel and tried to imagine myself as a Princeton student.  It was a lot easier than I expected.  Being there just felt right.

So I worked diligently on my application from August through the end of September.   I wrote my long essay and the short answers that were requested by the application.  I found friends who would write my references.  In short – I treated the application project like any of my other projects and pursued it relentlessly and with a smidge of overkill.  I submitted my application at the end of September.  My last reference was received on October 22.  I’d already had my interview on October 6, so my application was complete at that point.
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From October 20-22, Carolyn and I (she wanted to go) attended the Princeton Seminar – a three-day admissions event at the seminary.  We had time to eat and meet with student hosts, faculty, staff and others.  (The President, Iain Torrance joined Carolyn and I and our campus host for the first dinner – to our surprise and delight.)  We were able to attend classes and hear presentations from different administrative departments.  We ate at the campus dining facility – both private catered meals and along side the students.  We were also given a walking tour of the campus.

Two different things stood out during the visit.

First, I was comfortable there.  REALLY comfortable.  So comfortable that I’ve only felt as free of anxiety in a few other places in my life – at my home with Carolyn or at Camp Johnsonburg.  The morning before we left for the visit Carolyn asked me if I was nervous.  I thought about it and answered (to my surprise), “No.  I suppose I should be but I’m not.”  I found the classes fascinating.  I found the conversations stimulating.  I found the presentations interesting.  And throughout it all I had none of the nervousness that I’d expected to have – given that I was being evaluated even while I was doing the evaluating.

Second, I kept bumping into people that I already knew.  Carolyn and I ran into my spiritual director in the first 10 minutes on campus.  I met one twitter friend for the first time, and bumped into two others (literally bumped into in one case).  I sat in a class taught by my CPM chair, with one student who is a member of my church.  I ran into students from the class that I audited last spring.  I ran into people who worked on Revive with me.  I ran into people that I had only previously met at Camp Johnsonburg.  In short – all of my church-related worlds collided during this one visit.  It’s as if many, many, many of my church experiences intersected at a single point – at Princeton Seminary.  Biggest of all for me was the sense that I got from my friends and prior contacts that they were happy to see me at Princeton.  For an introvert like me, that is hugely important.

During the visit, I thought I’d heard the Director of Admissions mention that the Admissions Committee meets monthly, with a meeting “this Wednesday” – which I took to mean the day that our visit started.  I assumed that I’d missed the deadline and would be waiting a least a month.  The Wednesday after the visit I received a thin envelope from Admissions at PTS.  After a moment’s panic I opened it only to read “Your application is now complete and we will begin processing it.”  Heart-attack averted.  On Friday, I e-mailed a Princeton staff member who is on the Admissions Committee about a church-related issue, and got back the reply “I hope we see you as a student at PTS next year!”  I took that as a good sign.

This past Saturday, I received a thickish envelope from Admissions.  I brought it inside to the kitchen where Carolyn was cooking.  I casually tried to sort through the mail to make the pile of things I should open, and about halfway through the process just dropped the rest of the mail and tore open the envelope.  “Congratulations!  It is my great pleasure to inform you of the decision of our Admissions Committee.  You have been accepted into candidacy …” and that’s as far as I got before I started jumping up and down like a six-year-old (scaring Carolyn and the cat).  I immediately send a DM to one of my favorite friends who has served as native guide through the process, called my Session Liaison, and then tweeted the news.

This morning I spent some time in silent prayer about this decision.  Both schools have pro and con attributes and arguments, but there is one clear direction.

Tomorrow, while I am at Princeton for the Institute of Youth Ministry Conference on Emerging Adulthood, I will stop by Admissions and drop off my Letter of Confirmation and deposit.

I will begin my Master of Divinity (M. Div.) program starting in the Fall Term of the 2011-2012 academic year, making me a member of the class of 2014 at Princeton Theological Seminary.  Next September I will be a seminary student.

And I’m happy, nervous, and have this feeling of rightness about it.  I believe God is in this decision, and all of the little interactions over a number of years that led up to it.

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Busy Week

May 12, 2009 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Job Search, Life, Religion, Young Adult, Youth 

This is gonna be a very busy week.  I’m going to be out and about in several communities with lots of activities.  Perhaps I’ll meet you at one of them.

Yesterday the ball started rolling with the God Complex radio show at noon EDT.  That went very well.  Later in the evening I had the Board of Deacons meeting at church which also went very well and very fast.

This morning I’m going to have to mow the lawn due to the impending days of rain (again).

This afternoon I’m going to the Presbytery of New Brunswick meeting, and assisting in the pre-presbytery event on “Working with Facebook”.  Before the meeting I have a networking meeting with someone in New Brunswick.

Tomorrow is relatively quiet.  A networking meeting in the morning, and the DVRA ham radio club meeting in the evening.  I may go get my driver’s license renewed during the day – it’s time again.
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Thursday afternoon begins the Princeton Seminary Institute for Youth Ministry Conference on Emerging Adulthood.  That runs Thursday afternoon and evening, all day Friday, and Saturday morning.  Friday evening, I’ll miss dinner and the recreation to attend a fundraising dinner “Southern Hospitality on the Lawn” related to my church.

Saturday morning I’ll miss rehearsal for Deacon Sunday.  Saturday evening my church youth group is holding a Cabaret and Silent Auction fundraiser for the summer trips.

Sunday morning is Deacon Sunday (I’m doing the Call to Worship), grocery delivery for Crisis Ministry in Trenton and the end of year party for our customers, and the Worship in a New Key service.

Monday I may get to see Carolyn again.  This is really a nutty week.

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A Once and Future Pastoral Star

March 5, 2008 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Religion 

At the Presbyterian Church of Lawrenceville this year we are blessed with three seminary interns.  All three of them have preached well at our church on different Sundays.  I have to write today about the intern who preached this past Sunday – she touched my soul in ways that are rare.  (Sorry Dave and Alissa – you did really well too but this one hit me deeply.)

Grier Booker Richards is a middler (2nd of 3 years) at Princeton Seminary.  She and I share one trait – both score as strong introverts on the Myers-Briggs scale.  That affects how people do ministry.  Most minsters are extroverts and the whole concept of ministry today is based around the ideal of the prophetic minister firing up his congregation with his charm.  Grier has charm – it’s just a different type of charm, more of a warm presence than a fiery presence.

Anyway, she preached on Sunday about the seminary experience and particularly about what brought her to hear her call.  In the sermon, she relates a story of tragedy and her response and her church’s response to an event that happened while serving as a lay youth ministry leader.  You’ll have to hear it for yourself – the audio version is HERE, and the text is HERE.  Listen to the audio version if you have the time – it’s much more powerful than the text.
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It’s very rare that a sermon has moved me to tears.  Grier has the ability to take an emotional story and relate it back to a spiritual concept.  She poured so much of herself into this sermon that it’s hard not to understand her point.

Coming soon to a pulpit near you – this once and future pastoral star.  Watch for her PIF in a few years.

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Theology on Tap

September 14, 2007 by · 1 Comment
Filed under: Church New Member Process, Religion, Young Adult 

Theology on Tap

The Princeton, NJ Nassau and Witherspoon Street Presbyterian churches, the Presbyterian Church of Lawrenceville, and the Princeton Seminary have jointly started a young adult program called “Theology on Tap”.  Every 2nd Thursday this fall (and if last night is any indication, it will continue beyond fall) at 8pm young adults gather at the Yankee Doodle Tap Room of the Nassau Inn in Princeton for community and some light theological discussion.

Last night was the first event.  I estimate that 20-25 people showed up by the time I left at 9:30 (gotta be at work today).  There was a mix of church members, church leaders (clergy and staff), and seminarians plus perhaps one or two “bring a friend” folks.  I heard some folks saying that they’d invite friends to the next one, and I know that the postcards (with the image above) were taken to be given out.  We may have more people next time.  Ages ranged from the low 20’s through me at near 40, to a few who I suspect were older than 40.

Each of us was given an 18oz glass (call it a pint) with the PCUSA logo on one side and “Theology on Tap” on the other.  We used them for drinking and were able to take them home.  (I’m not clear on whether or not to bring them back for the next meeting.)  Only one was broken – my fault – I stood up to let somebody by and the chair hit the table behind me and it tipped and CRASH!  Oops.

The meeting organizers bought food for the group, and the rest of us paid for our drinks.  I suspect that the glasses were the biggest expense and otherwise this program is pretty inexpensive to run.

After a short introduction of everybody to everybody, we broke into small group and were asked to discuss any burning theological questions.  The questions weren’t easy.  At my table (from memory, I think I’m missing a few):

  • What does Jesus’ death on the cross mean to me?
  • Is God still involved in the world today?  Does prayer work?
  • A brief discussion on the Trinity and the paradox of three-in-one
  • A statement on morality and society
  • Where do people of other faiths fit into God’s plan and/or salvation?

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As I said – that’s what I remember.  I think we covered 6 or 7 just throwing ideas around.  The crowd was highly educated on the relevant issues – the few who weren’t ministry professionals or seminary students were highly involved laypeople like me.  After the theology the group continued with basic socializing.

For those on Facebook, there is a group for Theology on Tap in Princeton at Theolodoodle.

Now for my personal impressions.

I’m a fairly strong introvert, though I can present a brave face to new people and the less sensitive might not pick me out as an introvert.  Because of that, parties (and hanging out at a bar counts) tend to sap my energy.  I generally don’t enjoy them.  I tend to arrive early and leave early.

Last night was nothing like that.  I felt comfortable with the folks that I met and felt that “instantly comfortable” feeling with the new folks that I met.  I left at 9:30 not because I wanted to, but because I had to get sleep before going to work today.  That’s rare for me – I usually leave because I want to but last night I left because I had to.

The other rare thing is that I liked everybody that I met.  That is nearly unique in my experience and it is unique to church-related events (Youth Advisory Delegate events, church camp, and this).  I enjoyed meeting Barbara, Kate’s friends Sarah and Sarah (apologies if the spelling is wrong) and Grier at our small table.  I enjoyed meeting the others in other groups and next time I’ll make sure to mingle more with people that I don’t know.  I was also pleasantly surprised at how well I fit in at almost-40 with the folks from age 23 to slightly-older-than-me.

The theological discussion was also deep and meaningful for its brevity.  These folks have actually thought about the questions and have something very real to say.  It was all said without judgment of those who hold an alternative view.

I’m 90% sure that I’ll be there for the 3 scheduled meetings to come.  I might miss next month because of my schedule.  I’m also going to see if Carolyn wants to come.

If you’re in the Princeton area and interested in meeting some great people and talking theology, stop by on the 2nd Thursday starting at 8pm!

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