End of Week roundup
Here’s what’s going on.
- I managed to decompress from the congregational meeting last weekend. There are still some hard feelings among the young adults who work with youth, but we’ll get over it. I did express my feelings to my pastor.
- Last night my committee co-chair and the pastor and I had a conference call. We’d had to cancel the committee meeting because so many members were unavailable for the meeting (including a disturbing number who chose to drop out and prioritize something else higher – after they’d agreed to be there). We have a strategy for moving forward (but I can’t discuss it here until we’ve announced it to the team). How do you staff church committees when the really involved people are also really busy?
- I passed my ham radio Emergency Communications course, with 100% on the test and 100% of my assignments accepted on the first try. Next month or in a few months I’ll take the Level II course.
- Tonight Carolyn and I are headed to the Trenton Devils game. We’re skipping Saturday because 3 games a weekend is too much.
- Sunday the church is doing a service project in lieu of (or technically during) the worship service. We’ll start in the sanctuary, but then break early to spread out around the building making School and Baby kits for Church World Service, and hygiene kits for the Crisis Ministry of Trenton and Princeton, and sandwiches and wrapped utensils for the Trenton Area Soup Kitchen. Then we’ll gather for lunch and close worship. It’s Levi Sunday (named for the Levites – get it? We’re supposed to wear jeans).
- Sunday afternoon the Sr. High (and some Jr. High) youth group will go to see the Trenton Devils hockey team (ECHL). My season ticket plan includes one free luxury suite a year, and I’m treating the youth. It should be fun!
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I have been tagged in the book meme, but I don’t know if I’ll get to it today. Maybe later.
Youth Elder … that was interesting
Today, the Presbyterian Church of Lawrenceville (NJ) held it’s Annual Corporation Meeting and the Special Congregational Meeting. This church holds the annual corporate and congregational meetings at different times and the special meeting in January is normally to approve the terms of call for the pastors and fill any open partial officer terms.
During the Congregational meeting, a change to the bylaws was proposed. The number of elders has previously been set at exactly 15, in 3 even classes. This change was to allow a minimum of 15 and a maximum of 16 elders in nearly equal classes.
The intention of the change was to allow for the first-time election of a youth (under 18 in this case) to the Session.
This was originally brought up back in the fall when the Session and Youth and Young Adult council members talked about it (not the entire group – there is some overlap). The original plan was to create the post of Youth Elder. I did some research on their behalf (since I know a lot about all of this through past personal history and interest) and pointed out that under the Book of Order, there cannot be a position restricted/intended for a certain group. Instead I recommended that they increase the number of seats available and allow for flexibility in the classes.
I knew we were in trouble when the sanctuary was packed for a congregational meeting week worship service. Most of the folks were older. After the service there was a Benediction but no Choral Response or Postlude. Folks were asked to remain. Usually about 1/3 of the folks who attended the service will stay for the congregational meeting. Today almost everybody stayed.
The bylaw amendment was the last item on the agenda of both meetings. At the beginning of the corporation meeting (which was first) the pastor recognized the confirmation class that was attending the meeting as part of their education. He asked them to stand up. Some stood up. Others did not, and a few were in the balcony and not visible. The pastor made a statement about some of them being present.
The bylaw amendment was presented by the nominating committee chair. It was presented as allowing us to have a youth elder, who would be a rising senior [elected in June – someone who would be a senior in the fall] who would serve one year of a 3-year term. If the student remained in the area for college he/she would be able to finish the full term. If not the student would resign just like anyone else who was unable to finish their term and we would likely elect another student to replace them. This youth elder would not be expected to chair a committee (as the other elders are) and would be paired with another elder to serve as a mentor.
The first speaker from the floor asked why we needed an additional seat, and stated that perhaps the nominating committee should have been choosing a youth for Session all along. The answer given was that since we would not expect a youth to be a committee chair, we couldn’t afford to give up an adult seat – we needed all 15 to chair committees.
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It was also pointed out that under the Book of Order there is no such thing as a youth elder. I was recognized at one point and read from G-14 where the BOO requires that the congregation elect officers from all ages, racial-ethnic background, disabilities, etc.
The controversy was expressed as a question of why an additional seat was required for most of the 15 minute discussion until one elderly member got up and gave her opinion. She stated that if the Session required the advice of a youth they could simply ask one to come to a meeting, and that elders should be people who have been involved with the church for a long time, have experience with the church, and are more mature. At least 7 or 8 people raised their hands to answer that discriminatory attitude.
A few speakers later, the chair called the question (with support from others). In a voice vote the motion to change the bylaws passed. My estimate is that it was about 66-34 or maybe 60-40. The chair ruled that the motion passed and noone called for division. The meeting was ended with prayer.
After the meeting the woman who was the first speaker was heard to say “we’re voting on a youth elder and they aren’t even HERE!” I think the pastor did the youth a disservice by actually saying that only a few were there. I think that the youth (older than confirmation age) did themselves a disservice by failing to attend worship and this meeting.
One woman who I spoke to after the meeting said that she thought that the argument over 15 vs. 16 seats was really code for whether or not to have a youth elder and particularly for whether or not to change anything.
Even worse, this meeting shows a split in the congregation that my work on Project Open Door has hinted at. There is a core of the congregation for whom you are a new member until you’ve been there 5 years or more. They are also opposed to change of any type. There is an old/young split, and a new/long-time split. I fear for what this means when the Project Open Door team is expected to fulfill our mandate by suggesting changes to the visitor and community ministries of the church.
I’m glad that the vote went in favor of the youth, but also disturbed at the anti-youth sentiment shown by the debate. It seems nothing has changed in some congregations in the last 20 years.
So what’s up?
So what’s going on, Mark?
I’m glad you asked.
This week has been eventful.
Earlier in the week, we got the news that the company is looking into some form of ownership change for all or part of the company. I’ve already written about that.
Today we actually got good news. IT has gotten permission to give an allowance to IT employees who are required to be on-call for support issues. The department will pay up to $75 of our home broadband Internet and cell phone charges. For me that means $40 for Internet access. My cell phone usage for work is minimal and always within my plan.
At church I got the Project Open Door meeting scheduled for next week – we’ll be going over inactive members and how to interview them gently. I had a good Sr. High youth evening last Sunday and a great Youth and Young Adult council meeting on Tuesday. The YAYA council actually reduced the amount of logistical stuff that we go over to focus on the substance and theology of our program. We’re going to be more intentional about linking our activities to our theology in the future.
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Hockey – there are 3 games this weekend. I’m going to tonight’s game with Carolyn, and tomorrow night’s game with Carolyn, my sister and a friend of hers. Sunday’s game will get skipped – 3 in a weekend is too much.
Ham Radio – I got voted in as a member of the Delaware Valley Radio Association last week. Last weekend I went to their radio “shack” and got an orientation on the building, antennas, and radios. I’m also nearly finished with the ARRL EC-001 Level 1 Amateur Radio Emergency Communication online class. That class will teach me how to be useful in an emergency (like a flood, hurricane, or other disaster). The class is going really well – my mentor told me that I’m the first student out of the 100 or so that he’s worked with who managed to format all 4 sample emergency messages correctly on the first try.
In the Presbyterian world, things have been busy. We’ve had a presbytery approve a lesbian candidate as ready to receive a call to ministry, we got a young adult candidate for General Assembly Moderator (for the non-presby’s, that means roughly “head Presbyterian”). These actions (particularly the first one) have prompted the expected reaction from the conservative wing of the church. Our General Assembly this June will also be considering a complete re-write of the Rules portion of our constitution.
At my own church we have a congregational meeting this Sunday that will consider a change to the bylaws to loosen up the rules on the number of Elders and their term length. This is intended to allow the church to ordain it’s first Elder under age 18 for a term shorter than 3 years (because the youth probably couldn’t serve a full 3 years).
Life is a roller coaster, but in retrospect it’s been more up than down this week.
Youth Group and Instant Replay
Last night I experienced the first use (for me) of video instant reply at youth group.
We were playing a game of Human Tic-Tac-Toe. For those of you who haven’t heard of it, I’ll describe it below. The rest of you can skip the next paragraph.
You have to have at least 11 people. The group divides into two teams and one person is the gamemaster. You set up 9 chairs in a square (3 x 3) on a gym floor. The two teams assign a number (1 to however many there are, but the teams must be evenly sized) to each person. The game starts with the chairs empty and the teams lined up behind lines an equal distance from the chairs (opposite sides of the room). The gamemaster yells out a number, and the person from each team with that number runs, walks, moseys, to their selected chair. This continues until the game ends in a deadlock (alternately the team with the most people in chairs wins in case of a deadlock) or one team getting Tic-Tac-Toe. You continue as long as you want with new games. It’s both mental and physical – our most successful player walked over slowly and sat down rather than racing for the obvious play.
The game was a lot of fun. One game resulted in an epic collision between me and one of the other adult advisors that ended with both of us on the floor, the youth director asking “Are you guys OK?” and the rest of my team yelling “Mark! Sit in the chair!” Nobody was injured.
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The gamemaster took out her digital camera and started taking videos of the game. We had one game where two teams simultaneously got Tic-Tac-Toe in two different rows of chairs, and we had to resort to her video to determine who sat down first.
That’s gotta be the first use in OUR group of instant replay in a youth group activity.
Has anybody else used it?
Happy New Year – a roundup
Here’s what I’ve been up to in the last week or two:
12/17 – day off from work, didn’t do much
12/18 – work
12/19 – work, office Christmas lunch
12/20 – work, delayed by brake failure on the way to work, left early
12/21 – work, got my car back, watched the Trenton Devils win
12/22 – Smith family Christmas celebration (see below)
12/23 – church in the morning, youth group Christmas party in the evening
12/24 – off from work, Presbyterian Christmas service in the evening
12/25 – Catholic Christmas service followed by Brennan family celebration
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12/27 – off from work, watch Trenton Devils win
12/28 – off from work, watch Trenton Devils lose in shootout
12/29 – home, work on CDs for friends
12/30 – church, then work on CDs for friends
12/31 – work until 3pm, watch Trenton Devils, home for midnight
1/1 – off from work. Sleep.
Does it seem like I didn’t do much? You’re right. I didn’t. This was sabbath/rest time.
Happy New Year! See you in 2008!
We were looking for God, and we found Dog
Last night’s youth group meeting went rather well. We had a discussion on mission trips and potential destinations. It took a very theological turn somewhere in the middle and we ended up in 3 minutes or less with questions about repentance, Heaven, Hell, and whether or not God cares what we believe. We’re looking at planning Theology on Tap Junior Edition (or Root Beer Edition) as a result of the students’ hunger to talk about weighty topics.
After the meeting everybody went out to the parking lot. We discovered a small dog with a leash attached to his/her collar but no owner. Also no tag (please, even if the dog is chipped put a tag on the collar!). The dog was immediately loved to near-death. After the youth left, I called the local police asking if a dog had been reported missing. After I gave the description, the dispatcher gave me a perfect description of the dog’s collar and leash. He said he’d send the owners to us. I left the Youth Director standing at the curb with the dog waiting for the owner. I hope he/she got picked up OK.
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Next week will be fun – we’re doing “Movie in the Graveyard” for Halloween.
Run Ragged
I’m at my ragged end. I’ve been doing too much.
First, there’s work Monday to Friday 8-5. That’s a given.
Last Thursday – spend the evening doing laundry to get ready for Carolyn’s trip to Germany
Last Friday – spend a quiet evening with Carolyn
Saturday – get up, go to church Officer’s Retreat and give report on Welcome and Outreach Task Force. Get home, discover that Internet router will not route. Go to Circuit City, buy replacement. Install. Have 1 hour with Carolyn before she goes to the airport.
Sunday – church in the morning. Then stay for Confirmation initial meeting lunch until 1pm. Go home, pay bills. Clean home office to get ready for FIOS installation. Get ready for evening. Go to church for youth group. Get home at 9:30. Get ready for bed.
Monday – after work, platelet donation – almost rejected for high BP due to exhaustion. That takes 2 hours. Go home, reboot DirecTV receiver. Prepare and eat dinner and get a chance to watch 20 minutes of TV. Get ready for bed and go to bed late.
Tuesday (today) – after work, go home. Make and eat dinner. Go to church for Youth and Young Adult Council. Get home about 9. Get ready for bed and try to go to bed a little early.
Is it possible that the party changed their email address? Simply because you’ve hit “reply” doesn’t mean that the sender’s own email address entered in the slovak-republic.org buy cheap cialis “reply to” field has been spelled correctly. The removal might be partial or total. viagra super Few things to take care when you are using Kamagra jelly: You should take this medicine http://www.slovak-republic.org/symbols/honours/ viagra uk sales only once in two months or so, then that can easily be called as the ‘next step’ in the ever-developing technological civilization, that we all are a part of. So modern science did carry out huge research and medical research, medical experts have succeeded in inventing effective oral medicines that work by improving the effects of nitric oxide, a super levitra chemical that actually relaxes smooth muscles in the penis during sexual stimulation and allows increased blood flow. Wednesday – take day off from work for FIOS installation (expected to take 5-6 hours). Cut lawn if not raining. Possible quiet evening. Do laundry so that there isn’t much to do when Carolyn gets home. In the evening, conference call with pastor and co-chair for Welcome and Outreach Task Force.
Thursday – After work, eat leisurely dinner in only 1/2 hour. Head to Princeton for Theology on Tap young adult evening. Get home late, go to bed late.
Friday – Carolyn gets home from Germany in the afternoon. Do her laundry. Start packing for Saturday.
Saturday – Carolyn and I go to NYC for our 13th wedding anniversary and the 20th anniversary of our first date (both on Monday). Don’t have any specific plans for Saturday yet.
Sunday – go to church in the morning (St. Patrick’s Cathedral?). Go to Spamalot in the afternoon. No evening plans yet.
Monday – maybe a morning NYC activity, then drive home. Collapse.
Tuesday – Friday – vacation from work. No specific plans. SLEEP.
The only activities scheduled by me were the FIOS installation, platelet donation, and the NYC trip (planned over 6 months ago). The rest were scheduled by others.
Why We Do It
If you ever wonder why youth leaders volunteer several hours per week (at least) to work with a bunch of teenagers, last night’s senior high youth group session provides the answer.
The youth director was very busy this week (Confirmation started yesterday) and didn’t really have time to plan out last night’s meeting. God stepped in.
We had music on at the beginning, and the youth who were there were grooving to it. The youth director tossed a few rhythm instruments around the room and we all jammed to the Beatles for a few minutes. Later he taught us a few songs of faith from foreign lands, and the youth loved it.
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For the rest of the meeting, we used M&M’s to talk about what happened in the last week. Red was how you experienced love, Yellow was a joy, Brown was something bad that happened, Blue was when you were sad, Orange was when you saw God, etc. This ultimately brought out some difficult issues that some of the youth were dealing with. What was most heartening to me was that when this happened, other youth jumped in to help the youth in tears before the adult advisors could. Because of our covenants the group provided the safe space required to work through the emotions.
The youth director said that this was by far the best evening he’d had since he started working here over a year ago. It was decidedly the best that I’ve had. THIS is what youth ministry is about.
Shame and the Stewardship Campaign
As I have discussed previously, I turned down the invitation to serve on the Stewardship committee this year. I did this even though they were using the Consecration Sunday curriculum – which I was assured was not about the need for the church to receive but about the need for the person to give. I was also told that it would be about more than money, but also about service.
So far this year we’ve had two “Minute for Mission” presentations at the beginning of the service. In one, a woman who has recently experienced several deaths of close family members spoke of the care that she has received from the church. She also explained how this year’s campaign is different than last year’s in that a budget is not being prepared before the campaign – we don’t know How Much We Need. I have no issues with this presentation.
The second one is the one that bothers me. Another committee member spent 5 minutes at the beginning of the service going over a sheet called “Grow One” from the Consecration Sunday curriculum. She went into detail about how to read the sheet and apply it to each of our situations.
One side of the sheet was the traditional income vs. percentage table. On the left side was your income (different this year in that it isn’t annual income but weekly income) and across the top are percentages – with groups of percentages labeled things like “Low”, “Middle” and “High”. In the center is the weekly pledge for that income and percentage. Now while I find it hard to believe that our well-educated congregation needs help dividing their income by 10 to find the 10% tithe, or can’t use a calculator, I suppose this could be helpful to someone.
It’s the other side of the sheet that bothers me. On that sheet, a stair-step graphic appeared. Under each step was a range of weekly contribution. The lowest range was 1c to $19.99 per week and the highest (of about 11) was $200 or more. (I have to wonder who is pledging 52c per year.) Above each step is the number of pledges in that group. Our congregation is concentrated in two places – a group at or slightly above midpoint and a larger group about 1/4 of the way up from the bottom. No information on incomes or situations – just how much per week.
Also included in the bulletin was a reservation form for the Consecration Sunday presentation and lunch. After the speech was completed, the ushers collected the forms before the worship service began. This again seems very coercive to me – using peer pressure.
Here’s what bothers me. This is clearly intended to shame people into making a larger pledge. This is NOT using the positive power of the Holy Spirit in order to encourage increased giving – it’s using the earthly power of peer pressure to shame people into making a larger pledge. We should NEVER be comparing ourselves to others – we should be comparing ourselves to the ideal that Jesus provides. We never ask whether or not we should avoid sin because the session thinks we should – we are to avoid sin because God wants us to.
Another troubling aspect of this method is it fails to take into account individual situations. I know that we have people of all ages who have suffered debilitating illnesses that have caused them to stop working. I know that we have families where the primary breadwinner is out of work (due to outsourcing in many cases). What do these people think and feel when they read a chart showing their pledge as being below average? Is it really a good idea to induce shame in those powerless to correct the situation?
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Something else that bothers me is confidentiality. We were told last year that only 3 people know what we pledge – the person who opens the pledge card envelopes, the Treasurer, and the person who issues our envelopes. So why then are we seeing counts of pledges at various levels? It seems that confidentiality is being broken, maybe not at the individual person level but overall.
Please note that I’m fine with hearing that the TOTAL giving is $X00,000 and that our budget last year was $Y00,000 and that we’ll have to cut some programs if we don’t make up the difference. I just don’t like making it personal. My gifts to the church are between me and God. For that matter, my gifts to the church are a whole lot bigger than the check that I put in the envelope weekly. Conservatively, I’ll estimate that outside of worship I volunteer 30 hours a month to the congregation (through youth group, committee work, and the like) and another hour or two per month on average to the church camp. And that doesn’t consider any contribution that I might make through blogging about church here and at other blogs (a highly subjective value, I suspect).
I said earlier that I was bothered by this campaign. That was a bit inaccurate. My real feelings are somewhere between bothered and infuriated. I nearly tore up my weekly check and envelope. I briefly considered the reaction if I got up and walked out.
I will not be at church on Consecration Sunday. The Monday after that Sunday is my 13th wedding anniversary and the 20th anniversary of Carolyn and my first date. We will be in NYC for the weekend celebrating. I’m lucky in that I won’t be there.
Maybe I should just find someplace else to worship during Stewardship season every fall. I’ll just go worship at another church that isn’t doing Stewardship from about the last week of September through the middle of October – whatever week the cards are turned in.
Supposedly, because I’m missing Consecration Sunday I won’t get a pledge card until AFTER that date. I’d be happy to fill it out now and make it all go away. Apparently I have to wait until I’m considered delinquent before they’ll even GIVE me a card. And it’ll come with a personal contact. More coercion.
(Lest you think I’m griping because I’m at the low end of the pool: My weekly contribution was above the midpoint on their stair chart. That is true even though I appear to the church to be a single-person household – Carolyn also gives a similar amount to her church.)
Good Weekend
I’m tired, but happy.
Friday evening I headed out to church to be the 2nd wave driver for the Sr. High retreat. There were a few youth who played football who needed to leave later than the 6pm departure time. I got there at 6:15, and the first wave in the big van didn’t leave until 6:30. Ultimately we all got to camp and settled in about 9pm.
We headed out to the waterfront and held a campfire, complete with singing and S’mores. I’m not usually a big fan of s’mores (I prefer to eat the components separately), but I had one anyway so that the vegetarian youth could roast a marshmallow (they contain gelatin, you know). After that we finally got to bed around midnight.
The next morning was quiet. After breakfast, we headed into the woods and did a trust/togetherness exercise that involved walking along a rope strung between trees with your eyes closed. It was done alone, then with a guide, then alone again. It’s sort of a “walking with Jesus” exercise. After that we had a talk about when God is and is not present in your life and the youth got into some pretty heavy topics. I was very impressed with the way that this group handled people’s difficult times without making fun – that’s pretty rare in this age group.
The rest of the morning was “free” time. A group played football in the meadow while others rested in the lodge. We ended the morning with a game of “Have you ever….” Jenga. This uses the book “Have you Ever …?” along with a Jenga game with the tiles numbered (by hand). Each participant pulls a tile out of the stack, places it on top, and the number on the tile is used to find a numbered question in the book. If tiles are recycled you just add 100, 200, etc. to the tile number. We got the stack up to 29 levels before it fell. (The record is 40 plus two tiles.)
We had lunch, and then headed home.
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Sunday was another church-packed day. The morning service included an introduction of our 3 seminary interns (with CAKE at the Fellowship Hour). After Fellowship time, Temple Micah invited us to join them in the sukkah that they’d built on the front lawn of the manse. There was also the 2nd half of an adult forum series on Presbyterian beliefs that I attended (tough choice, but I’d already done the homework for the forum). (Discussion for another post – what the heck are we doing listing people’s pledges by size for comparison when we’re doing Consecration Sunday that is supposedly NOT about the numbers?)
At the end of the adult forum I got recruited to usher at the afternoon Jazz Vespers service, which brought me back to church after a 2 hour rest. The music was provided by Presbybop, a jazz quartet founded by Presbyterian clergy. The service was attended by about 130 people, and was wonderful. Presbybop has taken some traditional hymns and jazzed them up while retaining the proper feeling and words. We sang two of those, and other music was included. Rev. Bill Carter did the homily. The service was based on the Book of Common Worship’s “Evening Prayer” order of worship – appropriate to the setting sun. The congregation was energized by the service.
After the service, dinner was provided by the choir. Excellent food was catered from Chuckles with dessert from church members and the leftovers from Fellowship Hour in the morning. Carolyn and I sat with the youth group for dinner, and met Rev. Karen Hernandez-Granzen of Westminster Presbyterian Church in Trenton.
After dinner we headed back to the sanctuary for a one-set concert by Presbybop. Folks, these guys know their jazz. You can find them on iTunes, and their CDs are for sale at CDBaby.com. The congregation was brought to their feet at the end for a standing ovation (and we did get an encore). It was hysterical to see the upright and sometimes elderly Presbyterians swaying and nodding their heads to the wonderful jazz. I saw one guy air drumming using the pens from the prayer card racks in the pews.
I’m still short on sleep, but it was a truly wonderful weekend.
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