What I needed to hear
Sometimes, you go to church on Sunday and hear the sermon that you needed to hear, on the day that you needed to hear it.
That happened to me two weeks ago. Our new Associate Pastor, Mary Alice Lyman, preached a sermon called Where the Heart Is.
One quote:
Religion should incorporate principles, not constrictive rules and regulations. Many people, in the time of Jesus, were committed to God, but they failed in how to maintain the commitment. Many people, now, are committed to God, but we fail in how this commitment is maintained. I think commitment to God is determined by many factors but one that I feel is key is the renewal of the human heart. And the
renewal of the human heart is something that comes from inside us. Social reforms or education cannot renew the heart. Armed conflict cannot enact it. Initially, it is the human mind that makes the
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Our religion should not kill our compassion. When people are in need and love is called upon we should act with a human heart. God prefers love to law, and hearts over habits. Our first priority should be our
devotion to God not the fear getting in trouble for breaking Sabbath law. We should be living from the heart and not under the constraintsof habit. If our religion is standing in the way of doing a good deed
then it might be time to examine our beliefs. They might be killing our compassion.
In her verbal delivery (but not in the written sermon), she actually said that she’s worried that this is exactly the problem that the Presbyterian Church faces. Sound familiar?
Side note: The Presbyterian Church of Lawrenceville has a new website at pclawrenceville.org It’s pretty nice.
Uncomfortable
Now I’ve gone from itchy to uncomfortable.
Enthusiasm for God: high
Enthusiasm for His followers: low
The Presbyterian bloggers have been at each others’ throats this past week or two. As always, there are still two camps: progressives and conservatives. The progressives are willing to (for the most part) allow conservatives to co-exist with them, but they are not willing to allow exclusion based on conservative criteria. The conservatives see themselves as the last bastion of the True Faith and are unwilling to bend in their defense of only people who follow their rules being ordained.
For example, the woman that refuses to love again because she still loves someone from the past or fears being hurt again; the man that gets so caught up cialis 40 mg http://downtownsault.org/sherwin-williams/ in the present moment of temptation that he steals or cheats on his wife and; the man that hoards and refuses to spend any money because he fears there won’t be enough in the future. Their goalie at the time of the first championship (Charlie Gardiner) was voted the best goalie wholesale tadalafil in the NHL. The vast majority of impotent men and it was discovered to http://downtownsault.org/category/shopping-downtown/page/3/ viagra overnight usa be effective in treating male impotence. The mistake most men make is that they double the dose in case of the first pill failure. http://downtownsault.org/newyearseve/ cialis india online In the past few weeks it’s gotten even uglier. Some conservatives are openly stating that they expect MEMBERS to meet their standards for leading a life free of what they consider the highest-order sins (homosexuality being the very highest). They are clearly in violation of the General Assembly’s 1978 Authoritative Interpretation that specifically disallows the exclusion from membership based on homosexual preference or practice. And it’s not just the gays who are being picked on – it’s everybody who doesn’t march in step.
It’s only going to get uglier. It’s clearer than ever that the evangelicals are going to accept nothing less than a denomination where their beliefs are dominant and where heresy trials are the rule rather than the extreme exception. The progressives are looking for a big tent. These are fundamentally incompatible positions.
This affects me personally. My enthusiasm for my own local church work is waning. I’m at the point where I’m seriously leaning towards taking Sunday off this week just to see what having a lazy Sunday was like. Last year I was trying to figure out whether or not I could stand a life that included organized religion. Now I’m wondering if I should go back.
Oh, I’ll probably go to church on Sunday. And I’ll lead my little committee. And I’ll work with the youth group. Just please understand why my enthusiasm is absent for a while.
Feeling a little itchy
I’m feeling a bit emotionally/spiritually itchy. You know – not quite comfortable. I suppose it’s a bit like the ailment of the month – Restless Legs Syndrome. Something is not quite right but not such a problem that it’s acute pain.
More on that in a minute. First an update.
Camp went well on Sunday. This was a really rough week for check in. There were 21 units, and something like 225 kids to check in. The Leadership Training Program (for the oldtimers – that’s Counselor-in-Training) participants were all going into units for the week, so they weren’t available to help out. With that many units, all available staff were going in unit. Volunteers were all pressed into service. I trained my wife Carolyn to be my assistant, and gave her all of the Elementary (grades 1-5 this fall) and Junior (grades 6-7 this fall) units. I took the Jr. High and Sr. Highs. First rule of check-in – the little kids show up first. Carolyn quickly got behind and I found myself with free time. My campers all came later. I finally ended up taking the Juniors from her in order to get us finished. She kept asking if she was being too slow but the truth is that it was just a really rough week. We had to hand out paperwork to the counselors and age-group directors at dinner after cross-checking the medical information against the nurses and medications received. We finished 5 minutes before dinner and walked in just after grace. Whew!
Last night I helped out at church. For August we’re doing Movie Night on Tuesdays for the Jr. High and Sr. High youth groups combined. It’s really simple – there is a different PG movie each night with a message and a few questions to discuss at the end. Last night we got 2 kids. This was not entirely unexpected – I had checked in 6-8 of the regulars at camp two days earlier. The movie was Pride – the story of the 1974 Philadelphia Department of Recreation swim team that was built out of an abandoned rec. center and went on to win the regionals. Nice evening.
Also this week I’ve been making the rounds of blogs. This week the Presbyterian blogging community (or at least some corners of it) are fighting again. The question this week is whether or not the denomination can abide people who push the boundaries of Presbyterian belief (if you’re a progressive) or are heretics (if you’re a conservative). The question is to what degree is each of us responsible for disciplining these people. The conservatives are making noise about how they can’t stand to be part of a denomination that includes these folks. The progressives question back – “Why aren’t you filing charges? Oh yeah, you only file charges against gays.” It’s all very ugly.
This led me to go back to foundations. One blogger made the statement that we are all collectively responsible for the pastoral care and discipline of people who stray from the essential tenets. I went back to the Book of Order (having determined that going back to Scripture is pointless in these disputes – any given verse has different meanings depending on who you talk to) and sure enough, there it is:
That our blessed Savior, for the edification of the visible Church, which is his body, hath appointed officers, not only to preach the gospel and administer the Sacraments, but also to exercise discipline, for the preservation of both truth and duty; and that it is incumbent upon these officers, and upon the whole Church, in whose name they act, to censure or cast out the erroneous and scandalous, observing, in all cases, the rules contained in the Word of God. (G-1.0303)
Yikes. I’m one of those officers, as a deacon (though I suspect the author of these words was thinking of elders and Ministers of the Word and Sacrament). I’m supposed to censure or cast out the erroneous! I AM the erroneous to some extent.
In addition, if the girl says she has a boyfriend at the very purchase generic levitra start of the conversation this could be a pump composed on account of erectile organ development with extra edges. Nevertheless, there are ways to determine if levitra generika http://downtownsault.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/06-14-17-DDA-MINUTES.pdf the results are satisfying enough. The patent might terminate in 2018 but that’s just viagra for women australia unless it’s extended further more, which is definitely possibly considerably more than simply very likely. There are herbal supplements, herbal vitamins, herbal weight loss pills, as well as herbal canada tadalafil . My beliefs are that faith is intensely personal. Each person is responsible for his or her own faith. Ministers are only responsible for our faith up to the point where they educate us on what they believe Scripture is saying and what they believe to be true. From there it’s up to us. We as members are responsible for listening, thinking, praying, and building our own faith. The Presbyterian denomination has always been a thinking denomination – we don’t assume that we are ministering to people who need to be led by the nose.
If you read the BOO passage above and the comments of my fellow bloggers, we are each responsible for applying the disciplinary system of our denomination to anyone who strays from the essentials of our faith (which we can’t agree on either, and I prefer it open-ended that way). According to these same bloggers, failure to take such action amounts to an endorsement of the other person’s ideas. That seems to be the justification used by those who are filing heresy complaints against people across the country that they’ve never met.
This is what’s making me itchy. I’m pretty uncomfortable being in a position where I’m responsible for the beliefs of ANY Presbyterian. I’m also uncomfortable that if I say the wrong thing my Session may get complaints about me.
I’m also profoundly bothered by the natural conclusion. This says that our officers are responsible for controlling our behaviors and beliefs. If you remember things I’ve written earlier, I left the church 20 years after I concluded that church was all about a small group of people controlling the beliefs and actions of a larger group of people. This seems to confirm that – the church really IS all about control of one group by another. Please note that I’m completely comfortable with God’s control – it’s the control of my peers that bothers me (particularly when a number of them want me to believe and do the exact opposite of what I feel God is calling me to do).
I’m also a little itchy in that I’m not sure that I’m “good enough” for the church work that I’ve been asked to do. I watched our seminary student intern last night working with the youth and he seemed so comfortable. I’m still feeling my way around (not literally – that would get me in trouble!) with youth work and I’m not completely comfortable leading. I’m pretty good with being the second or third or fourth banana, but not the main guy. Thankfully I’m not expected to be one at the moment. This in turn leads me into a spiral where I wonder if I’m even competent to lead the committee that I’m leading. These worries aren’t paralyzing me, just making me spiritually and emotionally “itchy”.
The Lighter Side
I just got an e-mail from a co-worker that read “Sorry for the incontinence.” It appears that if you misspell “inconvenience” in a certain way, Microsoft Outlook gives you “incontinence” as the first choice in spell check.
Annual Congregational Meeting
The Presbyterian Church of Lawrenceville held the Annual Congregational Meeting yesterday.
I won’t bother to comment on the many reports that were given. In general, the church is healthy.
The only slight negative in any report was that the Stewardship Campaign for last year didn’t reach it’s goals. Those goals were tough – a 10% increase in pledges and a 10% increase in total pledge amount. The committee achieved a 5% increase in total pledge amount with a decrease in pledges.
The Youth and Young Adult Ministry was by far the longest and most comprehensive report – covering 2.5 pages with 9 pt. type. I was mentioned as a youth leader several times – including being credited with being a “devoted” leader of the Jr. High group even though I attended only once.
The “Green Team” wasn’t mentioned except in passing as the sponsor of one adult education event.
The Stated Clerk’s Report rolled up the membership numbers for the year. We started the year with 867. There were 29 new members (13 by Profession/Reaffirmation of Faith, 14 by letter of transfer, and 2 restored to the roll). We lost 65 members – 6 by Letter of Transfer, 11 by Death, and 48 by Session Removals (making them inactive). If you take out the Inactives, we had a net gain of 12. We ended the year with 831. There were also 10 infant baptisms and one adult baptism.
The Sunday School and Youth programs total 256 youngsters.
Aside from one remark made by the pastor regarding inactive members (and which I’ve contacted him about via e-mail) there was nothing to be concerned about. All seems to be well.
But I’m concerned.
I believe that I am guilty of the sin of envy.
The Nominating Committee nominated 5 people to serve as elders, 8 people to serve as deacons, and one person to serve the remaining two years of a term as deacon. I was pleasantly surprised to see a youth nominated to fill that unexpired deacon term – Claire will do a great job and if I have her year in school correct she’ll be able to finish her term before going to college (which I unfortunately was unable to do so many years ago).
Three of the officers were members of the same New Members class as me. I was very surprised to see them nominated – I figured that nobody that new would even be considered (indeed – one of the pastoral associates said something to that effect to me). The man nominated to be an elder is actually a returning member (he moved away and then back). All three of them are devoted members and completely appropriate for the office.
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But a voice inside me asks “Why them and not me? Haven’t I worked hard enough?”
Another voice answers “Why does it matter? What do you want from the church?”
Yet another voice says “If you’re upset about this, you clearly aren’t worthy anyway.”
I do make a solid contribution to the youth ministry and feel appreciated there. I know that I made a good contribution to the Green Team and I have felt appreciation from some about that. I try to pitch in wherever I can.
I know that I make valued contributions at camp, and they are recognized. Camp feels like home – what I do there to help (while sometimes tiring) never feels like work.
Clearly the pastor sees a future contribution from me – it shows in his choice to ask me to lead the new task force. This is partially offset by the fact that it’s been over 2 months since I talked to him about the task force and it still isn’t populated yet. When last we spoke we had three members (out of a target of 8) and we had named another 8 members to ask. Our plan for meeting before the summer went out the window – we’ll now be lucky if we can start our task in September.
So what am I looking for anyway?
Clearly, any consideration of the church as a future full-time vocation has to go on the back burner.
I feel like I’m back at square one with my discernment process. Did I really join the church for the reasons that I thought I did? Am I being fed?
As I said last week, there is turbulence. Now it’s revealed to be inside my head.
In the mean time, I persevere. I’ll keep working on things as planned. I’ll still be at camp in about 2 weeks to help with check-in. I’ll still work on the task force when/if it gets going. I’ll still be working with the youth.
2007 All-Church Retreat
This past weekend, Carolyn and I attended the Presbyterian Church of Lawrenceville Annual All-Church Retreat at Camp Johnsonburg.
We arrived early on Friday in order to avoid rush hour traffic on the way there. This enabled us to choose our room in the lodge (a good move) and to sit in outdoor lounge chairs when everybody else arrived. Most of the group arrived in time for dinner Friday night, followed by tie-dying preparation. Friday night itself was hot and muggy and sleeping was not easy.
Saturday was lovely but still a bit humid. We started the day with breakfast. Carolyn and I were both signed up for Low Ropes (group building and personal challenge activities near ground level). We both participated in the first two activities (marshmallows on the dangerous Chocolate River – get the group across, and untying human knots while balancing on a teeter platform). At that point anybody participating in the Leap of Faith had to leave in order to get there. Carolyn continued with Low Ropes and did some challenge exercises like walking a steel cable balancing with a rope and crossing a series of tire swings.

Here we are crossing the dangerous chocolate river on floating marshmallows. I’m the one in the green shirt and Carolyn is right behind me. I’ve mentioned Jill Cifelli here a number of times – she’s the woman in gray standing in line.
The Leap of Faith is a zip line suspended above a low spot in the trail – forming a bit of a valley. Somehow the Ropes course staff managed to run 30 of the 35 people signed up through in the morning. I helped out (as a former staffer always will) by being the person who unhooked the last participant and running the zip line back to the top of the hill. For this activity I was rewarded with praise and sweat (lots of sweat).
After lunch on Saturday we finished tie-dying and I got my chance on the Leap.

This is me in flight.

This is me waiting to be unhooked. (A thought bubble would say “Hurry up – this harness is giving me a serious wedgie!”)
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Between all of the Ropes activities we only had 3 refusals – one very small girl who didn’t do the Leap, and a boy and a girl who didn’t complete (or start in one case) the High Ropes. I add myself to the list – having done it 20 years ago as a counselor I had no interest at all in doing the High Ropes.
Saturday after dinner, we made banners depicting our concepts of faith and God that will hang in the Fellowship Center at church. After that, the traditional campfire complete with S’mores.
Saturday night sleeping was easier due to lower temperatures.
Sunday morning after breakfast we had worship outdoors by the waterfront. One of the parents in the group played a carved flute and pan pipes for the Prelude and Postlude. The rest of the service was run by a family that directed music, our Director of Children’s Ministries, and one of the Interim Associate for Pastoral Ministry folks (she’s also my new co-chair of the task force). Worship was nice, and ended just before the rain started.
It rained the rest of Sunday morning, and after lunch we headed on home.
It was a nice weekend. I was more relaxed than usual as a result, and I’m having a tough time with “re-entry” into the work world today.
One thing that was a bit odd was that Carolyn and I were the only family without kids. I believe that this retreat used to be the “Family Retreat” and in recent years has been the “All-Church” retreat. It was a little easier for us than it could have been – we both like kids and since we’ve been doing work with the youth group we were familiar to many of the parents. I did get to meet about 15 families that I didn’t know (or know well) before. Hopefully the retreat will attract more younger singles or couples without kids in the future.
I tried to serve as a goodwill ambassador (a title vested on me by one of the parents) for the camp to the church. There were two of the youth that I tried to recruit for the camp’s Leadership Training Program and it looks like one might consider it (the other isn’t old enough yet). I hope they do – they’d both make great Johnsonburgers. I only hope that I wasn’t too pushy – Carolyn’s opinion is that I went right up to the line and didn’t cross it.
Today I’m pooped and a bit sore (there are a few muscles that don’t get used that often) but still more relaxed than usual.
Another Clump of Church
I find that my church-related events tend to clump. In April, I had Youth Sunday on the same day as the Earth Day presentation by the Environmental Stewardship committee.
I’m in the middle of a clump now.
This past weekend was devoted to the Silent Auction fundraiser for the Youth Mission trip to Louisiana. We received 80-something donations of goods and services (babysitting, music for a dinner party, etc), and on Sunday night during a rainstorm (remnants of Tropical Storm Barry) we raised $3,400.
Next weekend is devoted to the All-Church retreat at Camp Johnsonburg. We’ll be there from Friday afternoon through Sunday afternoon. Carolyn and I (mostly I) will be serving as “native guides” for the trip due to our current and prior involvement with camp and the number of first-time visitors in the group.
Infertility is referred to the biological inability to conceive, after one downtownsault.org levitra generika year of regular sexual intercourse without using contraception. viagra in australia Bile/pancreatic reflux can move this aggressive acid mixture up to the stomach causing gastritis, persistent heartburn, esophageal damage, etc. For a person to order viagra have proper erections he needs to be conversant to the latest techniques and strategies of this field. Male sexual dysfunction is between the major order cheap levitra concerns of middle-aged young men. I got a gift from God this week in the form of the co-chair for the Welcome and Outreach Task Force. Jill Cifelli has been serving the church as Interim Associate for Pastoral Ministry along with Nolan Huizenga this past year while the church searched for the new Associate Pastor. Jill’s responsibilities included the new member process. She is leaving that position at the end of the month when the new Associate starts, and will be going back onto the session. She will also be my co-chair and the liaison to the session from the task force. Jill is one of the first few people that I talked to at the Presbyterian Church of Lawrenceville about joining, and I if I’m remembering correctly every conversation that I’ve had with her has included laughter. I’m really looking forward to this.
To that end, we are meeting with the pastor on Thursday to tie up some loose ends for the task force. We still have to nail down the rest of the membership (we have one solid member, but the rest of the team is just a list of possible names at this point), and work out the beginning activities.
Things should quiet down after next weekend.
Work is also a bit busy this week, so don’t be surprised if I don’t get a chance to write much.
Need Help – Invitational culture and evangelism
I need your help.
The Task Force on Welcome and Outreach that I mentioned previously will be meeting soon (later this month, probably). We’d like to come up with 5-8 books on our topic for the team members to read this summer and report back to the group. This is part 1 of the education phase.
Our charter calls for surveying visitors on their visit experience, surveying the community for their impressions of the church and spiritual needs, and then making recommendations to the session. The recommendations are supposed to cover creating a culture of hospitality and invitational evangelism.
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Do you have any book suggestions? I have a handle on what it feels like to BE a visitor, but I’m really stuck on how to survey the community. Books on invitational evangelism and books on a culture of hospitality would be very useful.
Thanks for your help! Please leave suggestions in the comments. If you can’t get the comments to work, e-mail me at the address behind the link in the left-hand menu.
Being A New Member – A 6-month checkin
About 8 months ago, I wrote Church – A New Chapter, in which I announced that I was beginning the new member process for joining the Presbyterian Church of Lawrenceville (NJ). I actually joined 2 months later. That makes this about the 6-month anniversary.
Time for a report card. I’ll stick with my hopes and fears from 6-8 months ago.
The overall grade is B+. The church has come to feel like home, and I often refer to it with the same feeling that I would use to refer to my family. There are some things that could be better, and I haven’t completely settled in yet. The details are really long, so they continue below (those reading on the site itself will need to click the link below).
Whoosh! and a question on calls
Whoosh!
That’s the noise that I probably made getting through all that I had to do this weekend.
Saturday, the Youth Sunday rehearsal ran long. I was at church from 10:30am to 2:30pm. I was completely impressed with the youth. The 3 seniors who delivered the sermon hit the message perfectly and needed very little tweaking. The rest of the crew adapted to their jobs quite easily. I’ll write more on this later.
Sunday was Youth Sunday. I was the usher-herder. I also had to get prepared for the Adult Forum afterwards and eat breakfast. Everything was a rush. The service went great, and as I said above I’ll write more later.
After the service I had to run away from the youth and go finish setting up for the adult forum. I was the 1st speaker of 3 – covering the biblical basis for environmental stewardship. I think it went well (nobody came up and said that I did a good job, but they seemed to be paying attention).
After that, I ran home and had exactly 30 minutes to eat lunch, shower and change to go to the opera with Carolyn. We saw Rigoletto in Trenton. I’ll write a whole blog post on that for you. The opera was good – the lead soprano was amazing.
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Last week sometime, in my way over-churched haze, I remember having a dream one night. I don’t remember what the dream was about, but I do remember one snippet.
I was involved in something at church. My current pastor passed me a note (it wasn’t during a service or meeting or anything – he just handed me a note as we met standing up somewhere). The note said something like “Be sure to listen for a Call.”
Now I realize that I’ve recently become re-involved in the church, and that I’m a likely candidate for over-enthusiasm. If you remember my story, once upon a time I was deciding between Computer Science and Religion as my college major. Due to some unhappy church-related events Computer Science became my major, and Religion my minor. I honestly believed going into college that I might be headed for seminary.
The only word I’ve ever heard encouraging this came more recently. I told my current Youth Director (under whom I work as a Youth Advisor) my personal faith story. He asked if I’d consider seminary now. I told him that I’ve only been back a year or even a few months (depending on how you count) and that besides – I’m a bit too used to my current income level.
I don’t know what this dream means, but it is intriguing. Is this a message? Is it just the product of doing too much church in too short a time period?
So here’s my question to the professionals out there. Would you be willing to tell me (here in the comments, in e-mail, or even on your blog) what your Call was like? When did you know that you were being called to the ministry?
Busy Week
Here’s my crazy schedule for the rest of the week.
Wednesday – 6:30 – 8:30pm – Youth Sunday rehearsal
Thursday – 6pm – 10pm – Trenton Titans playoff game
Friday – 6:30pm – 10:30pm – Trenton Titans playoff game (if they win Thursday)
Saturday – 10:30am – 1pm – Youth Sunday rehearsal
Then Sunday:
8:45am – leave for church
9am – 9:30am – set up for Earth Day adult forum
9:30am – be adult shepherd for ushers for Youth Sunday
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11am-ish – as soon as the service is over, run directly to the lounge
11:15am – be the speaker for the 1st 15 minutes of the Earth Day adult forum
Noon – Adult Forum ends, go home
1:30pm – leave for opera (Boheme Opera – Rigoletto)
1:45pm – pre-curtain talk (always worth the time)
3pm – 6pm – opera
6:30pm – come home, collapse
Unfortunately, I have to miss the post-Youth Sunday service lunch with all participants in order to do the Earth Day presentation.




