“I Love You”
(Note – this post is NOT a fishing expedition. I’m not looking for compliments or statements that you weren’t planning on making anyway. This is just my observations.)
Valentine’s Day is coming up. Love is in the air (though we’re a bit more concerned about snow these days). Thoughts of love both romantic and filial abound. Even my pastor is doing a sermon series on love.
This got me thinking last night. How many people have ever told me “I love you”? It’s a short list, though longer than I’d expected:
Carolyn
My mother
My father
My 2 grandmothers
My uncle on Mom’s side
My aunt and uncle on Dad’s side (not so sure about my uncle, but he meant it)
My father-in-law and mother-in-law
My brother-in-law
Heather (not sure about this one – it was a LONG time ago)
Katie
My youth pastor years ago
The Youth Director at my church today (I think)
Lorelei from camp
Certainly a few others from camp, but I’m at a loss to identify who
Now, this includes both romantic love and the “I love you, as a friend” variety. Either implies a deep connection and interest in the well-being of the other party.
There are a few statements that do NOT qualify in my book:
“I love you for X” – for doing the dishes, for being a great friend, for painting a room at church. All of these are great, but the statement is missing the love of the whole person.
“I’ll love you 100 days if you Z” – if you give me a ride to the airport, if you clean up the kitchen. True love has no expiration date, though it may end.
“Love ya” – a closing salutation used a lot on e-mail. This is a cop-out – a way to avoid “I Love You” when it’s not really felt.
“Honey, I love you but I just can’t smile” – this is a youth group game, not a statement of devotion
“I love it when you Y” – again, too specific
The list of people that I’ve said “I love you” to does not match the list above. It’s longer, and there are some folks on that list who are not on my list above. I also tend to make deep connections a bit more quickly than others and I have a nasty tendency to try to connect deeper than the other party. So I’m prone to unbalanced relationships, where my devotion is greater than the other party. I’m working on that.
And I firmly believe that there are people who actually DO love me but who haven’t said so, because doing so is risky and may flout societal conventions (particularly because I’m married and a statement from another woman, even as a friend, could be misconstrued). And there are certainly MANY more people that I DO love that I can’t say it to. The youth in my youth group, some other church folks, a few former co-workers. I do love them but to say so to them would be disruptive and cause more trouble than it would fix. In a different world, it would be different.
I also have a longish list of people whose 3am phone calls I would take, for any reason. There are people for whom I’d jump out of bed and into the car if they called me in the middle of the night. That list overlaps my list of people that I love, but is not a 100% match.
Maybe it’s my church involvement, maybe I’m a throwback, and maybe I’m just weird. But I think the world would be a better place if we all knew what other people think of us more accurately. There’s risk involved there, and possibly hurt feelings, but the world would just run that little bit more smoothly if we knew. Maybe we can start with the positive emotions.
So my challenge to you is this: Sometime in the next week or so, say “I love you” to someone that you love but haven’t said it to yet (it doesn’t have to be me!). Use disclaimers if you must (“as a friend”). Do it in e-mail or on paper if you can’t say it out loud. But tell somebody that they are loved. It will mean the world to them.
Letter to PCUSA Special Committee on Same-Sex Marriage
The last PC(USA) General Assembly created a committee to study the issues of civil union and same-sex marriage and to make a report and recommendations to the next General Assembly, which meets in June 2010. They recently released a preliminary report without recommendations, and requested comments and recommendations from all parts of the denomination. Information on how to submit comments is found in this press release.
I have written a letter to the committee and e-mailed it. I present it below for you to read. You are welcome to comment on it here, but I would also suggest sending your own opinion to the committee.
September 29, 2009
General Assembly Special Committee to Study Issues of Civil Union and Christian Marriage
Presbyterian Church (USA)
100 Witherspoon Street
Louisville, KY 40202
Dear Members of the Committee,
I would like to begin by thanking you for your service on this committee, with its very difficult charter and topic. Your ability to work together amicably gives me hope for the resolution of troubles in our denomination.
I am a member and deacon at the Presbyterian Church of Lawrenceville NJ. I would like to make it clear that my words represent only myself, and not the opinions of my congregation.
I would also like to make my position on these issues clear before making the requested recommendations and comments on your document. I am strongly in favor of the position that homosexuality is not a sin, and therefore believe that gay people (I use that term to include all lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered people) should be ordained in Presbyterian churches and should be able to fully participate in Christian Marriage in the PC(USA) as defined in your document.
I would like to add some on-the-ground information to your knowledge. Here in New Jersey the law provides for civil unions for gay couples. An analysis of the implementing statute shows that those civil unions were intended to be identical to civil marriage in all but name – the statute clearly shows an intent to define these relationships as equal to marriages in all parts of State Law. Our experience has been that while these rights are often granted, there are cases where through ignorance or intentional acts those rights are denied. This includes denial of visitation in hospitals and denial of medical benefits for civil union partners because those benefits are provided under the ERISA law. The interim report of the New Jersey Civil Union Review Commission http://www.state.nj.us/lps/dcr/downloads/1st-InterimReport-CURC.pdf details these issues.
I, too, believe that our denomination is not yet of one mind on this issue. I do not believe that we will ever be unanimous on nearly any issue, but I do believe that we will someday – through a move to agree or through departures – form a concrete opinion on gay marriage that may be implemented throughout the denomination. We are in that “middle time” that always accompanies the discernment of proper interpretation of Scripture in the face of new information and new revelations by the Holy Spirit.
One question before us is this: Will we choose to inhibit those new ideas as being contrary to some people’s interpretation, or will we try them out as expressions of others’ interpretations before ultimately accepting or rejecting them? At various times in our history we have done both and someone is always unhappy.
Another problem that our current rules and policies create is the Catch-22 situation of both affirming the right of gay couples to civil unions (216th General Assembly in 2004) and prohibiting them from exercising those rights in the church. We have told them on the one hand that we WANT them to form life-long partnerships between two people and that they CAN’T do so inside the church. In this we act to drive a wedge between the church and those couples. Whether or not you support gay marriage in the church, I think that we can all agree that driving people farther away from the church and farther away from God is a bad idea. Those who oppose homosexuality lose the ability to influence these men and women, and those who are in favor of gay rights lose the ability to support stable families.
Last, we have long affirmed the right of our members and leaders to differ and still be faithful. We have also placed the decision-making power over individual marriages with Ministers of the Word and Sacrament (on whether or not to perform the ceremony for a given couple) and Sessions (on whether or not to allow the ceremony to take place within the building).
Therefore, I commend the following recommendation to the committee for action:
That the Committee recommend to the General Assembly an Authoritative Interpretation of the Book of Order as shown below:
- That the definition of marriage in W-4.9001 is advisory and does not constitute a restriction on the performance of marriages or civil unions between members of the same gender in those states of the United States of America that permit them by anyone authorized by the Book of Order and the state to perform marriages (W-4.9002, G-14.0562d).
- That the definition of marriage in W-4.9001 is advisory and does not constitute a restriction on the use of church property for marriages or civil unions between members of the same gender in those states of the United States of America that permit them as long as they are authorized by the Session using similar procedures as those used for heterosexual marriage (G-10.0102d,o).
- That no Minister of the Word and Sacrament or Commissioned Lay Pastor is required to perform a marriage or civil union that the Minister or CLP feels is contrary to their conscience. (W-4.9002)
- That no Session is required to allow the use of church property for a marriage or civil union that it feels is contrary to its conscience. (G-10.0102d,o)
- That no Presbytery or Synod may pass a rule restricting the Ministers or Commissioned Lay Pastors or Sessions within its jurisdiction from performing or allowing the use of property for a marriage or civil union, due to the freedom of conscience protected by the Book of Order and our polity (G-1.0305, G-6.0108, Bush et al v. Presbytery of Pittsburgh – Remedial Case 218-10).
- That any part of any prior Authoritative Interpretation or General Assembly Permanent Judicial Commission opinion contrary to this Interpretation no longer has force or effect.
It is the intent of this Authoritative Interpretation to provide a compromise position. This would expand the definition of Christian Marriage to include those between members of the same gender, but would not require any Minister or Session to be involved in such a ceremony. Since marriage is not explicitly required for to perform any function in the church, it is not necessary for someone who does not support same-gender marriage to recognize such a marriage performed by another Minister or in another church. There is a strong case that ordination requires a very specific type of marriage, but it is unlikely that a Session or Presbytery would find an officer-elect being examined to be acceptable due to their actual or presumed sexual practice if they were concerned about that party’s involvement in a same-gender marriage or civil union.
I thank you for your time and consideration and apologize for this letter exceeding the requested 1000 words. I wish you well in the remainder of your work.
Yours in Christ,
Mark Smith
Candlelit Labyrinth
This past Thursday, I went up to Camp Johnsonburg for one day of Family Camp. It was good to reconnect with friends from years gone by. I had some conversations that may help my faith growth and/or discernment processes.
This was the last full day of Family Camp for the week. As a result in the evening there was the special Communion vespers service (I ended up reading the scripture).
After the service, Lorelei led a candlelight labyrinth. At Camp Johnsonburg there is an outdoor labyrinth made of stones laid on the forest floor under some trees. At the center is a big tree with a cross leaning against it. The camp tradition is to carry a stone with you while walking the labyrinth, and to leave it at the foot of the cross when you are done. The labyrinth has been there 10 years – the stones are in a huge pile covering the bottom 1/2 of the 5′ cross.
I’ve walked this labyrinth during the day alone, during the day with campers of all ages, and twice in the winter as part of a retreat. Each walk is a different experience (even when you lead it 4 times a day with campers). But the candlelight labyrinth is VERY different.
I helped set up the candles. We took tea lights and placed them on flattened silver foil cupcake papers laid on flat rocks around the labyrinth. Just before we arrived, a few of the Leadership Training Program reunion youth lit them.
It was late twilight when we arrived, and fully dark (on a cloudy night) when we were done. At the beginning of my personal walk, I was able to see the path without the candles. By the time I finished walking all the way in and then retracing the path out I could only see the path WITH the help of the candles – and then just barely. For the first time that I’d walked this labyrinth I was uncertain of my path. (Indeed, one youth tried to finish and kept accidentally jumping paths. He gave up and walked out across the stones when he was still going 10 minutes after everybody else.)
As I write this I’ve been unemployed for over a year. While I continue to perform my church duties and even take on additional ones, I’m struggling with God: both with some kind of sense of call, and with frustration with my continued joblessness. I’ve reached a point where I feel like I believe in God, but I don’t think God believes in me. And yet I still feel drawn to God and to the religious world and life in some form. It’s very confusing and very painful.
As I walked this time, a metaphor became clear to me. I experienced it as a future sermon illustration. The candles were like God’s presence in the flame (Holy Spirit, if you will). I had walked this labyrinth many times, but THIS time I was uncertain of the path. I was only able to see the path with the help of the candles. So then go parts of our lives? Only able to see the path with God’s aid? God is with us assisting us to find our path?
For now it’s just a future sermon illustration and I don’t feel like it applies to me. I do feel rather abandoned by God. But perhaps there will be a day when God finally gets around to giving me a path or showing me what the path is, and this metaphor will be more concrete for me.
Next year I’ll be President of the Deacons and need to preach, so at the very least I have an idea to file away for 18 months or so.
May you find your path, and help others find theirs, with God’s help.
Montreat Youth Conference 2009, part 2
Last week I attended the Montreat Youth Conference 2009 Week 5. I served both as a Small Group Leader and as a Back-Home Leader for my church’s group. This is the second post about the trip, and will consist of “what did I feel” and “what did or did not happen to me” during the week. The first post consists of the “what did I do”.
First – let me get one thing out of the way. Unlike last year, God did not choose to speak directly to me (ironic, considering that we covered the Burning Bush story). If God talked to me this time, it was through smaller things and other people. (And that does seem likely.)
This was a very stretchy week.
The first stretch was a little one. This was the longest car trip that I’ve ever taken alone. Oddly enough, all other trips of more than half of this one have been by air, or with someone. It wasn’t a big stretch, but it’s an interesting anecdote.
The biggest stretch was leading the small group. My small group consisted of 33 people besides myself. In my 20 years of business and church and life, I’ve never actually led a group that big. It went very well, and I was repeatedly affirmed during the week by both the youth and adults in the group. I also benefited greatly from the confidence that my back-home group had in me. There IS a lot of work involved in being a small group leader – mainly due to the prep work required. It’s also a little hard for an introvert as you have to be “on stage” for several hours each day. You have a badge and wristbands that identify you as conference leadership all day long, so you’re not really “off stage” unless you’re alone or in a group of other leaders (or in my case, with the back-home group). At any rate, this went really well. Put a check in the stretch and succeed column.
Another big stretch was Monday night’s worship service. I agreed to serve as a prayer station during the Prayers of the People. There were about 12 of us stationed around Anderson Auditorium. We stood there while music played and people came up to us with personal prayer requests. The easiest one that I got had to do with generic prayers for the broken people in the world. The hardest were a recent personal cancer diagnosis, and a person struggling with addiction. The Holy Spirit was clearly in my corner on this one – I was able to serve as a conduit for hurt and healing and just had to concentrate on saying the right thing. This was a huge stretch for me. Those who have been following my call/career/transition saga know that at one point I said that I am not the right person to be working with people going through serious issues (and that I was immediately called to do just that right after saying so). This was another one of those moments. Put another in the stretch and succeed column (I hope – I haven’t heard from God yet).
A third stretch was performing in the Talent Show. Now I know that my talent (shaking a bell pepper-shaped shaker) was minor, but it was fun to be part of the show rather than the guy behind the scenes for a change. Our young ladies and men sang so sweetly and Mike played guitar so well that we were truly amazing. I can’t wait for Rich to edit the video.
I am grateful for the friend who took the time to listen to my troubles for a few minutes out of his very busy life on Tuesday evening, even while we were making arrangements for other stuff later in the week.
I met a lot of good friends during the week – new and old. I HAVE to find time to go see Brian and Carol and little C sometime in their native habitat. I knew Carol a little from the radio show (and she wasn’t there), but I got to meet Brian and find out how amazing he is. I can immediately think of 10-12 other people that I met at Montreat that I KNOW that I want to find a way to work with again. It was such fun working and laughing with them.
I was TIRED. I got by with about 6 hours of sleep each night (I’m usually good for 8 hours). As Rich told me, the Holy Spirit does get behind you and push. I’m not sure that I’d recommend being both a Small Group and Back-Home Leader in the same week, but it truly is possible. My only regret is that it took time away from my Back-Home group. I think that a better way is to do two weeks and have your back-home group arrive the SECOND week, when you already have the sessions figured out.
The Montreat conference family is a little tough to join for the first time, but it’s totally worth it. For the first few days I was a little lost in the “inside” language (“innie vs. outie” for people responsible for stuff inside vs. outside the auditorium, for example) and I felt a bit like a well-loved new foster child. By the end of the week I felt more like a family member.
The Small Group Leaders that ate together on Sunday morning all commented on the Bacon Alarm Clock that comes with sleeping above the kitchen. Bacon quickly became the theme for our week. We talked about recipes containing bacon. We talked about what people make out of bacon (the AK-47 being the most mentioned). The official photographer had every small group yell “BACON!” when taking their picture.
One youth decided that I looked like Wallace Shawn playing Fizzini in Princess Bride (“Inconceivable!”).
I do not yet know what if any impact that this conference will have on my future. I did get an inkling that some friends may be trying to find a way to pay me to do something for them – and if it is truly the right thing to do for them I hope that it works out. I have learned that I can do some things that I didn’t know I could do before. It was good to have so many positive affirmations from so many people during the week. Here are two of my favorites from my small group:
(From the Blessings page in the booklet) “Thanks for keeping it awesome and if all else fails you can always take up the Bell Pepper professionally. -X”
I ran into one of my small group kids walking the other way in front of Anderson:
Me: Hi, Faith!
Faith: Oh good! You’re excited to see me!
I don’t know what the next year will bring, but next summer Montreat (and probably being a small group leader) will be on the short list of possibilities.
Montreat Youth Conference 2009 Part 1
Last week I attended the Montreat Youth Conference 2009 Week 5. I served both as a Small Group Leader and as a Back-Home Leader for my church’s group. This is the first post about the trip, and will consist of the “what did I do”. The second post will consist of “what did I feel” and “what did or did not happen to me” during the week.
I started out a day ahead of my Back-Home group on Friday the 24th. I drove 8 hours to Salem, VA and spent the night at a motel. During the evening I did some work finishing up the choice of music for use in my small group.
The next morning I headed out and arrived at Montreat. Upon arrival I ventured into Assembly Inn. A staff meeting was going on so there was nobody to check me in. Tully found me and guided me to meet Russ, one of the Small Group Leader leaders. After some travail finding out that the Assembly dining room was closed, we headed over to the Huckleberry for lunch.
In the first hour, I met at least 5 people that I had only previously known from the Internet, including Kathryn, Anna, and Tara. This continued for several days, with people looking at me and saying “you’re Mark, right? From the blog?” A social networker I am, apparently.
Saturday afternoon and evening and Sunday morning consisted of Small Group Leader training. The Omega (weeks 5 and 6) leadership came and gave us the rundown on what they’d be talking about and doing during the week. We learned some of the games (a few by playing), and were properly trained in Sexual Misconduct policies. We signed up for our slots assisting with the various recreation, worship and other activities during the week. We also did a “run-through” of Monday’s small group stuff – something that was repeated for the rest of the week almost daily. Those run-throughs gave us some idea of what to expect and what had worked and not worked during the week.
I stayed on the 3rd floor of Assembly Inn. My Back-Home leader and I had agreed that he already had enough other leaders that I wasn’t necessary overnight, and that I’d get more sleep at Assembly. The room was very comfortable. At night the windows let in the cool mountain air and I had no trouble sleeping because of heat. Our room (I shared it with a college student SGL) was above the kitchen and for the first few days I was awoken by the “Bacon Alarm Clock” at 5:30am – when the odors of breakfast wafted into the room. (Later in the week I was so tired that I slept through this alarm.)
My back-home group arrived on Sunday afternoon and I greeted them and shared dinner with them. For the rest of the week I had lunches and dinners with my back-home group and breakfast with the Assembly Inn crew of SGL’s, other youth groups, and other leadership. Each night I joined devotions with my back-home group until 11:30 or midnight, then walked back to Assembly.
Then the days began. The night before (if I was lucky, the afternoon before) I prepared the small group activities for the next day – making notes and preparing paper game pieces, newsprint sheets, or whatever was required. I was usually able to finalize the morning Small Group session before the Keynote started at 9am, and then joined my back-home group for Keynote. Then morning Small Group, lunch, afternoon Small Group, and then different things each day. Monday afternoon was the special recreation event in Small Groups. Tuesday was a little free and I made it to the run-through for Wednesday/Thursday. Wednesday was the free afternoon and my back-home group went to Asheville for the afternoon (more later). Thursday afternoon I was involved in recording for the God Complex Radio show AND the sound check for the Talent Show and missed the Friday run-through. Friday afternoon was quiet, so I packed to get ready to leave Saturday.
In the evenings there was a different event each night. Sunday evening was orientation and a recreation event. During the Sunday rec event I prepped for Monday. Monday’s evening event was the Disco Inferno dance party with glow-in-the-dark everything, and I was prepping for Tuesday. On Tuesday evening I missed the “concert” by Glenis Redmond because I was chatting with a friend who was also at Montreat. Wednesday night’s rec event was a showing of Wall-E, which was rained out and held indoors – I helped out inside for a while and then was sent to “walk around” outside as many youth were out and about. Thursday night’s event was the “Montreat’s Got Talent” show and my back-home group participated (more later). Friday evening’s rec event was early and was the “Hot in Here” karaoke inside and games outside – I “supervised” the bocce ball set.
Each day had a different theme. Monday’s theme was all about how the World is on Fire – how things are broken. It also included a discussion of safe spaces – using the “tree outside the house that we go to in case of fire” as the metaphor. Tuesday’s theme was Baptism, and how we are called to help fix the world. Wednesday’s theme was Communion, and we talked and identified our communion of saints as our cloud of witnesses. Thursday was Offering, and we talked about offering ourselves as a way to fix the world. We’d also been taking a collection of loose change in a drink bottle during small group, and on Thursday I processed with that at the beginning of worship and placed it with the offering baskets. Friday’s theme was being sent out into the world to fight the fires, and ended with the traditional candlelight circle around Lake Susan.
On Saturday I moved out and joined my back-home group for the 12 hour drive home. I switched off driving with Mike, one of the college students in my back-home group, and we used my vehicle as a baggage car. Mike and I had lots of long talks and got to know each other much better, and I really enjoyed the trip. It went by much faster than I expected and I was awake enough to finish out the drive.
The God Complex Radio show made an appearance. A solid 2/3 of the team was all at Montreat this week – Bruce Reyes-Chow (serving as the conference Co-Director’s husband, not to mention Moderator), Brian Merritt (serving as the leader of the Work Crew), and Heather Scott (working on either Aud or A/V crew – I’m not sure which) were there along with me. Thursday afternoon Brian and I along with Jason Meyers (a college student from my back-home group) set up inside the lobby of Anderson Auditorium and recorded some youth for use in a future God Complex program. On Friday at lunch we set up again at Bruce’s “GA Moderator Town Hall” on the porch of the Galax House and recorded some adults. Those recordings will now be edited and turned into a segment for a future broadcast.
I absolutely LOVED my back-home group, and they loved me. I felt bad that my small group duties kept me away from them, but they showed a lot of care for me in making sure that I was feeling good about my experience. I was nervous about being a small group leader, and I totally felt the support of my PCOL peeps. The group proved to be a fairly easy group to lead and take on a trip – with the biggest problems being things like keeping the house clean.
I also LOVED my small group, and they loved me back. They, too, were very easy to lead. We had a great mix of personalities and ages (including the adults) and that made for a truly great group. Everyone participated and I could clearly see many stepping out of their comfort zones. We had two VERY deep theological discussions early in the week – moving in one discussion from a game that showed that all were part of the same team all the way to a discussion of pluralism vs. the idea that all should be Christian … in 10 minutes! We also discovered a lot of thespian talent in the room in the skits that we did.
On Thursday, the Lawrenceville back-home group performed Jack Johnson’s “Rainbow” with Rich on rhythm guitar, Mike on solo lead guitar, me on bell pepper-shaped shaker, and several of the youth singing. Performing before the 1200 or so Montreat folks was the largest crowd that I’ve EVER perfomed in front of, unless you count playing in the pep band or marching band at college games. Our group was INCREDIBLE. Even more incredible than our group was the overall talent level of the entire set of performers – EVERYBODY was good (and the acts were randomly drawn, so that’s amazing).
There were really only two downsides to the week. First – our group may or may not have brought a cold with us, but over the course of the week many of us had a cold (me towards the end). Second – relatives of one of the year-round residents of Montreat (NOT connected with the conference) were going around all week throwing water balloons and tennis balls at people. Our group was hit with balloons early, and with tennis balls DURING the candlelight service around the lake. The grandparents of the offenders (a mid-20’s man and his nephew) denied everything. I hope that the conference center works with the town to prevent this during other conference weeks.
All in all it was a good week and a tiring week. I almost wish that I’d stayed a second week, but I fear that I’d be all the way out of energy if I had.
Getting Ready for Montreat
As I’ve written previously, I’m going to the 2009 Montreat Youth Conference week 5 (or week V for other search strings). I’m doing this on the insanity ticket by being both a Small Group Leader and Back-Home Leader. Sleep? What’s that?
Last night the adult leaders of the trip from my church had dinner at my house and did some planning. We are so incredibly organized this year – mainly due to the increased organization of our Youth Director, but with an assist from leaders who after last year now have Montreat experience. The number of youth going this year has increased almost 50%, and the enthusiasm of last year’s attendees has even produced a last minute addition.
I’m getting ready for my Small Group Leader role in my usual fashion – I’m probably over-preparing. I’ve read the manual cover to cover several times and I’m going back and re-reading it now with an eye to logistics. I’ve started packing, and will finish tomorrow. I’ve gone to the church and borrowed a bunch of props for one activity, and I’m finishing my preparation (with a HUGE amount of help from my Youth Director) of music for journaling/meditative time and such.
Because I’m a Small Group Leader I have to be there a day early, which means that I start out alone Friday morning. My group leaves Saturday morning and is spending Saturday night in Greensboro, NC. We’ll all be together when they arrive at Montreat on Sunday and we’ll travel home together.
While I’m there the God Complex radio show will likely make a brief appearance as we record the thoughts of some youth on a question for use in a future program. Four out of the six God Complex team members will be at Montreat at the same time next week, and hopefully we’ll all meet up at some point.
I’m a little nervous about the time commitment required for doing both the SGL and BHL jobs. I’m hoping that I can work that out. I know that my church’s trip leaders are being very helpful in allowing me to determine the degree to which I can participate with them. I’m usually an 8-hour per night sleeper. Last year (with help from the Spirit) I managed to pull it off with only 6 hours of sleep most nights – less one night. The only problem was that I was wiped out for the drive home on Saturday, and was only able to take a 3 hour shift driving (on a 12 hour trip). This year it’s a bit tougher in that we’ll add my vehicle to the group. We’re working on a solution to that. I do feel very comfortable that I can do the rest of the SGL job – it’s the same as leading my home group or serving as a leader at Camp Johnsonburg, albeit with a larger group. The Small Group Manual lays things out in a manner that make it easy to see how leading the group will work. I think I’m ready.
I hope to have at least a few pictures to post after the trip.
A quick update
There’s been a lot going on lately since my last post.
The job search continues. Yesterday marked 11 months since the layoff. I do have one possibility pending that would be a 1/2 time consulting job.
At church we’re shifting a bit to handle the resignation of our Associate Pastor which is effectively effective immediately. This may result in some actual responsibilities for me in my role as Vice-President of the Deacons. We’ll see.
Last week I went up to Camp Johnsonburg to serve one day as Volunteer Chaplain. This mainly involved leading bible studies and labyrinth walks for various age groups, but I was also involved in evening vespers. There was a really neat session with a Senior High unit. The chaplain (Lorelei) and I were invited to a session called “Questions and Answers” and we had no idea what questions would come up. We did our best to answer them unprepared and several stories from my life (most written here) were able to serve as at least partial answers. The most concrete question we got I was able to answer once I was back at home (with a major assist from my Twitter followers) and get the answer back to camp before the unit went home. I’m going to be repeating this role again later this week.
The God Complex Internet radio program continues every Monday at noon EDT, 9am PDT. I’m serving as webmaster for the program and during the live show I coordinate the public chat room.
I’m still busily getting ready for the Montreat Youth Conference later this month (week 5 – July 26 – August 1). I have all of the items that I need to bring as a Small Group Leader and I’m working on going through the SGL manual now with a Bible in the other hand to prepare myself.
Carolyn was gone for about 10 days out of 14 a few weeks ago working on a problem machine at her company’s California facility. This included one 44-hour “day” on the last trip. I think she’s mostly caught up on sleep.
New Church Roles
Yesterday has to be something of a record for me being invited to take on a new church role. Luckily all of them are manageable and most are one-time or short-time needs.
The role that is most visible and important is that I was asked to be the Vice-President of the Deacons next year. This in turn makes me the President of the Deacons the following year. Now, the Vice-President has no real responsibility other than perhaps leading the deacon meeting if the President can’t be there. I have figured out two other responsibilities, though:
- If the President of the Deacons for another church dies, the Vice-President attends the funeral.
- In the event that the Presbyterian Church of Lawrenceville is attacked, the Vice-President will make coffee in an undisclosed location.
The President of the Deacons does have serious responsibilities. Those include:
- Working with the Associate Pastor to create the agenda for the monthly deacon meeting.
- Leading the monthly deacon meeting.
- Producing the schedule for coffee and greeting each Sunday, including tracking the changes. This will be easy for me – I’m already sending out the reminder e-mails each week.
- Preaching on Deacon Sunday. (I asked my wife if she thought I could do that, and she said “No problem.” Then I asked if she thought I could do a full 15 minutes and she said that cutting me off would be the problem!)
- Serving as the deacon member of the nominating committee.
So, barring any changes, I’ll be doing the President job in the 2010-2011 year. Of course, each position is in addition to my regular role as a deacon, the deacon ministry team that I belong to and my little job sending out the reminder e-mails.
Another job that I was asked to perform is to serve on a small team working on a particular curriculum for our Youth and Young Adult program. That group is only expected to meet 3 times or so, so that’s not a big addition.
I was also asked to attend a meeting to talk about planning a major regional church event. A presbytery committee is starting the process, but the group that was invited is ecumenical. This could be interesting. I have a little bit of awe at being invited as most of the other names on the list that I recognized are religious professionals of one form or another.
And the last one is to help with some computer issues in the Computer Lab at our church, and potentially to substitute for someone during Vacation Bible School. I’m likely to do that if the schedule works.
As I said – except for the deacon responsibility these are all small things today, and I will likely do all of them.
Montreat Youth Conference 2009 – week 5
Some very bright news (and only somewhat related to what I mentioned in the last post) is the fact that I’m going to get to go back to the Montreat Youth Conference this summer.
With the support of my youth director at church, I decided to apply to become a Small Group Leader this year. I got the letter yesterday telling me that I was accepted. This is a small step outside of my comfort zone. I was considering it last year after the conference, but decided not to apply at the time. Now I’m in. I loved my time at the conference last year, and my small group was one of the best parts. I want to give back.
Through some rather unusual situations, our church group going to the conference has found itself short of one male leader. So I’ll also be going as a Back-Home Leader. Because we have another male leader and 2 female leaders, I will most likely be staying at Assembly Inn with the rest of the small group leaders, and doing some meals and evening Back-Home time with my church group. If nothing else, it should get me more sleep.
I’m really impressed with how much impact the conference has had on our youth group. 100% of the youth from last year’s trip are scheduled to go again this year, and we’re adding more youth (mostly youth who are just now old enough to go) to increase the group by 50%. I could see the difference that last year’s trip had in each youth’s life in the way that they interacted with each other and the church in the year since. Some changes were bigger than others, but all were changed.
I’m really excited about the trip, and already annoying my wife with disjointed thoughts about it. I really feel like it may be a make or break experience for one of my options for the future.
Sorry it’s been quiet
Hey, folks.
It’s been quiet here because there are decisions being made about my life and work-life direction that unfortunately aren’t really bloggable. I’m looking at a fork in the road and trying to decide which way to go, or even if I can make some kind of hybrid path down the middle. Blogging about it could make folks from either fork concerned that I’m not 100% committed to that fork (though if I chose it I would be), and therefore I’m not writing here. Rest assured that I will be committed to my path once I choose it.
And if that sounds cryptic, it’s the best that I can do. Friends on Facebook can probably get a better read on what I’m talking about.
Thank you for your patience.
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