Reframing Hope by Carol Howard Merritt – A Review
Rev. Carol Howard Merritt, currently of Western Presbyterian Church in Washington DC, has published a new book: Reframing Hope. I’ve recently finished reading it and here I present a review.
Disclaimer: I’m a friend of Carol. She sent me a free copy of the book to read and review. And I’m even mentioned in the book. So I’m a bit biased. And let me just say this – it’s really strange reading someone’s book and knowing the backstories behind the stories, having participated in some of the conversations that she mentions and discusses. That’s particularly true of Chapter 3 – Reexamining the Medium – where she discusses Twitter and other social media. OK, that’s out of the way. On with the review.
Merritt’s primary thesis is this – the modern world is ending, postmodernism is taking hold, and the Church needs to adapt in order to survive. While spelling that reality out, she documents different ways in which the adapting part of Christianity (though not necessarily the Church as institution) is succeeding in reimagining the faith for not just a new generation, but a whole new way of “doing church”. She uses the psychological term of “reframing” as a model for that reimagining. Merritt states that we are using outdated frames to measure church success: numbers, attendance, income. We need to reframe our idea of church success and particularly church methods and ideas in order to work within a world that is changing from modernism to postmodernism. And interestingly enough, that reframing often includes a return to ancient ideas and practices.
Merritt centers all of this study of the past and present and imagining of the future within the idea of Hope. She feels (and I agree) that younger generations – Generation X through the Millenials, particularly the latter – show a great deal of promise in their zeal to make the world a better place. She feels that spirituality and community-building are on the rise, and contrasts them to the modern ideas of power and structure and hierarchy. Merritt feels that there is a movement of the Holy Spirit happening and a vitality of the newer generations, and that it’s important for us to recognize that and welcome it.
Merritt begins the study in the area of Authority. The locus of authority in the church today is changing from books (as recently as 100 years ago only available in libraries at a distance, and before that only available to a learned few) and pastors in the pulpit to a new locus in the Internet, random conversations, and outside the church. Where once only the very well educated were seen as authorities on spirituality and theology, today individuals are able to “publish” their ideas on the Internet and share them without a need for a title like Reverend or a bunch of letters after their name. Even more notably, the Internet and social media have allowed people who are interested in these subjects to converse with experts in the field, and even to form friendships with them. Shoot – today a wannabe pastor like me gets to converse with published authors and Moderators. And it’s not just ideas that are discussed – we aren’t spending a lot of time on “how many angels can dance on the head of a pin” questions. Practical notions about how to express our spirituality in community, how churches are governed, and sermon ideas are exchanged between people who have never met. And in the midst of that, ancient spiritual practices are lifted up again and seen in practice today. Merritt ends the chapter with a study in contrasts. In today’s world, there are two competing ideas – the idea that centralization is king and “bigger is better” and the empowerment of people at the edges. These movements are contradictory and happening simultaneously and in my opinion reflect the practical struggle between modernism and postmodernism. And we are expected (particularly pastors) to live with feet in both movements simultaneously – ministering to those rooted in the modern world and those rooted in the postmodern world.
Merritt follows this study of authority with stories of Re-forming Community. The big question in the Mainline Protestant church today is “how can we keep the young people from leaving?” “How do we reach out to a younger demographic?” Today’s church is aging, and the average age of members is getting so high that even the Sunday Schools are starting to empty – because the parents of those missing children are missing themselves. Our churches are worried about closing (and some have closed). At the same time communities are springing up to deal with the questions of spirituality and faith. These communities are sometimes appearing within the traditional church structure, but more often than not are growing organically across denominational lines and even inter-faith. Even the idea of community has changed – from “whose are you?” (what group do you belong to OR what are your beliefs) to “who are your friends?” The traditional idea of belonging to a group that has chosen to accept us and which has sharply defined boundaries has shifted. Today’s new communities are marked more by their permeable boundaries and sharing of concepts across faith and practice lines. Traditions are not rejected and replaced as they were in the evangelical movement (with its move from hymns and organs to rock bands and light shows) but instead are combined and formed into a new creation. To me, it looks a bit like spiritual Legos or Play-Doh – the basics are the same but the shape and size and color of the new community are created by taking pieces from many communities, old and new.
Merritt also speaks about the importance of denominational structures in the new world. She highlights the good in denominations: continuity, shared support, and the weight of numbers that makes big things possible. She calls herself a “loyal radical” – one who embraces some of the ideas and innovation of the Emerging movement but is still a loyal member of her denomination – Presbyterian Church (USA). (And she points out the groups that Phyllis Tickle calls “hyphen-mergents” – the presbymergents, anglimergents, etc.) She lists three factors that distinguish the Loyal Radicals from the Emergent church:
- Loyal radicals have strong ties to their denominational histories, where Emergents sometimes reject that history
- Origins – the postevangelical emergent movement grew out of a meeting held by Doug Pagitt to raise up the next generation of evangelical leaders – and can be very antidenominational. The Loyal Radicals reached similar ideas and practices due to their loyal reactions to their denominations, which many of them still love.
- Social justice – Loyal radicals are much more open to women, ethnic minorities, and LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered) leaders; indeed their presence is demanded or the movement is seen as exclusionary. Postevangelical emergents have had their leadership develop organically and the net result has been that that leadership is dominated by primarily white, straight men while in some places women and LGBT folks are excluded from leadership.
From there Merritt moves on to discuss the effects that the Internet and social media in particular are having on faith. This is a balanced look by someone who lives in that world every day. (Indeed – she and I have tweeted at each other WHILE I’m writing this review about another matter.) She discusses the positives of the Internet and social media: communication and friendship between distance-separated people who would be fast friends in person if they lived near each other, the ability to carry on discussions simultaneously and asynchronously, the instantaneous access to information and opinions. (I have to echo those virtues. I’ve made very close friends through social media. It’s fun to meet someone in person for the first time who you’ve been friends with on the Internet – most of the “new friend” awkwardness is gone and you have that “known each other for years” feeling. And the base of knowledge in a community of hundreds who will answer questions randomly is hard to beat.) She also considers the downsides: the questionable community by those who are never together in person, the loss of communication in a text-based medium, the dehumanization that anonymity produces, the ability to claim more support for your ideas than may exist and to take potshots at others from behind your screen. In the end she concludes that the new medium is good and that communication has changed forever. She challenges us to both accept the new and the good and also to be aware of the risks.
From here, Merritt moves into a discussion of the effects of these changes on different areas of interest to the church:
- The Message – Merritt discusses the power of story. The narratives of our Scripture, the narratives of other faiths, the stories of our lives – they all have the power to change people and lives. There is power in the linking of the stories of God and the stories of the person sitting in the next pew. All of this reminded me very much of Donald Capps’s work on narrative, particularly his book Reframing – A New Method in Pastoral Care.
- Activism – She speaks of the power of these new ideas in bringing about the reign of God. She speaks of the power of the new mediums of communication on activism for social justice. At the same time, she speaks of problems that this shift causes. There is a subtle ageism in movements fighting sexism, racism and homophobia. There is a divide between the activists of the 60’s who gave their all of their causes and the younger leaders who have not been mentored, and who see an “us versus them” mentality in the battles of their elders. Merritt gives examples of how today’s communication methods are being used in activism with good results.
- Environmentalism – Merritt speaks of the current state of the environment and the ways that we have become insulated from the natural world. She speaks of practices that have the potential to make things worse if we aren’t careful – such as the effect of the use of bottled water on the quality of tap water. She includes ideas of how to prevent and counteract the separation from the land that we are experiencing.
- Spirituality – Here the author discusses the split between mind, spirit and body that was fostered by Modern ideas – the split between secular and sacred that has left us feeling that the two cannot coexist. She speaks of the importance of presence and the fears and realities of digital technology on physical presence (her conclusion – it can hurt but often helps build community). She lists different areas of spiritual practice that need our attention to reintegrate body and spirit, daily life and our faith. In the end she concludes that the evangelical concentration on individual faith and the liberal concentration on social justice are two streams that are starting to flow together – integrating our faith and correcting the errors of our past.
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In her conclusion, the author sees Hope in the future as people find new ways to organize and BE community in this world. She illustrates this with stories positive and uplifting and poignant and painful all at the same time. But she sees hope, and shows us a glimpse of how to foster it and reframe it for the rapidly changing world in which we live.
OK, Mark. That was 1800 words on WHAT the book says. How about the review?
I live in this intersection of modernism and postmodernism. I grew up with a father who was a school principal and later superintendent – a paragon of the Modern world and the old picture of authority. I’ve always been heavily involved in technology and the Internet – particularly during and after college. That has put me in contact with people (including Carol) who were and are at the bleeding edge of the “new way” of communication. That in turn has led me to be in contact with folks who are currently thinking and talking and praying and working around the new way of doing and being the Church. A number of people have told me that this “new way of doing church” is a part of my personal call. I’m in more or less the same place as the author, though we’ve taken very different routes.
The book rings true to me. As I said in the disclaimer, I have been a part of a number of the conversations and events that she relates. There is a big shift in the church coming – one that has also been alluded to by Phyllis Tickle in her book The Great Emergence. The church that exists today just does not speak to younger people and they are voting with their feet. It’s not so much anger with the church that is leading young people away – it’s apathy towards the church. We just don’t matter anymore. At the same time I know that for those youth who ARE in the church we matter very much and their lives are transformed. Our message just isn’t getting through and I believe it’s because the world changed around the church and the church failed to change its communication methods. Many people accuse the church (particularly accusing liberals and postmoderns) of changing the message itself in an effort to reach new people. In some areas it’s true that the message has changed – homosexuality being one of them. But those changes have always happened – with slavery and the place of women most recently. It’s really the methods of communicating the message that are failing today.
One thing that I struggle with is how to create a church that can speak simultaneously to ALL generations. I don’t feel that we’ve reached the point of abandoning that goal – I still think it can be done. But it WILL take a decision to recognize the failures today and to accept new ways of being the Gospel to the world.
This book does a lot to show the way to that future. Merritt shows us what new ideas and concepts and practices are being used today to bridge the gap between the Modern church and the postmodern world. But more importantly, she shows us how those new ideas and concepts and practices fit within our faith – that the new is not necessarily a compromise of faith.
Additionally, this book is written in a very accessible manner. Some other books that discuss the same ideas and subjects are written in a very academic manner. This book is one that can be read by anyone. No extensive knowledge of church history, theology, or philosophy is needed. This book is written for both those in the academy and those in the pews.
No review would be complete without some negative feedback (sorry, Carol!). My only issue is that the author in a few places speaks of her personal history – as someone who has roots in the evangelical church, as a woman entering the ministry – as if those experiences were generally applicable to a large part of a generation. Those stories sounded completely true to me as Carol’s experience, but I question how applicable they are to American Christianity. No doubt my background contributes to this reaction – at the same time that Carol was growing up in the South I was growing up in the Northeast in a New York City suburb, in a town where we had multiple faiths (1/3 of the town was Jewish) and evangelicalism was very limited. I grew up with a woman who was my neighbor AND the Associate Pastor and our church Session was at least 1/2 female. I saw a different force operating on young people – apathy towards the church and faith in general in an atmosphere of social and career climbing where the victims didn’t matter. The net effects are the same – the kids aren’t in the church – but the causes are very different.
If you are interested in understanding the forces at work in the reshaping of the church, and in particular are looking for some methods of communication and practices that can bridge the gap between how we have done church and how we will do church, buy this book. And read it. But more importantly talk to others about it. Kick the ideas around. That’s what it’s gonna take to get from here to there – from where we are today to the Kingdom of God.
Letter to PCUSA Special Committee on Same-Sex Marriage
The last PC(USA) General Assembly created a committee to study the issues of civil union and same-sex marriage and to make a report and recommendations to the next General Assembly, which meets in June 2010. They recently released a preliminary report without recommendations, and requested comments and recommendations from all parts of the denomination. Information on how to submit comments is found in this press release.
I have written a letter to the committee and e-mailed it. I present it below for you to read. You are welcome to comment on it here, but I would also suggest sending your own opinion to the committee.
September 29, 2009
General Assembly Special Committee to Study Issues of Civil Union and Christian Marriage
Presbyterian Church (USA)
100 Witherspoon Street
Louisville, KY 40202
Dear Members of the Committee,
I would like to begin by thanking you for your service on this committee, with its very difficult charter and topic. Your ability to work together amicably gives me hope for the resolution of troubles in our denomination.
I am a member and deacon at the Presbyterian Church of Lawrenceville NJ. I would like to make it clear that my words represent only myself, and not the opinions of my congregation.
I would also like to make my position on these issues clear before making the requested recommendations and comments on your document. I am strongly in favor of the position that homosexuality is not a sin, and therefore believe that gay people (I use that term to include all lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered people) should be ordained in Presbyterian churches and should be able to fully participate in Christian Marriage in the PC(USA) as defined in your document.
I would like to add some on-the-ground information to your knowledge. Here in New Jersey the law provides for civil unions for gay couples. An analysis of the implementing statute shows that those civil unions were intended to be identical to civil marriage in all but name – the statute clearly shows an intent to define these relationships as equal to marriages in all parts of State Law. Our experience has been that while these rights are often granted, there are cases where through ignorance or intentional acts those rights are denied. This includes denial of visitation in hospitals and denial of medical benefits for civil union partners because those benefits are provided under the ERISA law. The interim report of the New Jersey Civil Union Review Commission http://www.state.nj.us/lps/dcr/downloads/1st-InterimReport-CURC.pdf details these issues.
I, too, believe that our denomination is not yet of one mind on this issue. I do not believe that we will ever be unanimous on nearly any issue, but I do believe that we will someday – through a move to agree or through departures – form a concrete opinion on gay marriage that may be implemented throughout the denomination. We are in that “middle time” that always accompanies the discernment of proper interpretation of Scripture in the face of new information and new revelations by the Holy Spirit.
One question before us is this: Will we choose to inhibit those new ideas as being contrary to some people’s interpretation, or will we try them out as expressions of others’ interpretations before ultimately accepting or rejecting them? At various times in our history we have done both and someone is always unhappy.
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Another problem that our current rules and policies create is the Catch-22 situation of both affirming the right of gay couples to civil unions (216th General Assembly in 2004) and prohibiting them from exercising those rights in the church. We have told them on the one hand that we WANT them to form life-long partnerships between two people and that they CAN’T do so inside the church. In this we act to drive a wedge between the church and those couples. Whether or not you support gay marriage in the church, I think that we can all agree that driving people farther away from the church and farther away from God is a bad idea. Those who oppose homosexuality lose the ability to influence these men and women, and those who are in favor of gay rights lose the ability to support stable families.
Last, we have long affirmed the right of our members and leaders to differ and still be faithful. We have also placed the decision-making power over individual marriages with Ministers of the Word and Sacrament (on whether or not to perform the ceremony for a given couple) and Sessions (on whether or not to allow the ceremony to take place within the building).
Therefore, I commend the following recommendation to the committee for action:
That the Committee recommend to the General Assembly an Authoritative Interpretation of the Book of Order as shown below:
- That the definition of marriage in W-4.9001 is advisory and does not constitute a restriction on the performance of marriages or civil unions between members of the same gender in those states of the United States of America that permit them by anyone authorized by the Book of Order and the state to perform marriages (W-4.9002, G-14.0562d).
- That the definition of marriage in W-4.9001 is advisory and does not constitute a restriction on the use of church property for marriages or civil unions between members of the same gender in those states of the United States of America that permit them as long as they are authorized by the Session using similar procedures as those used for heterosexual marriage (G-10.0102d,o).
- That no Minister of the Word and Sacrament or Commissioned Lay Pastor is required to perform a marriage or civil union that the Minister or CLP feels is contrary to their conscience. (W-4.9002)
- That no Session is required to allow the use of church property for a marriage or civil union that it feels is contrary to its conscience. (G-10.0102d,o)
- That no Presbytery or Synod may pass a rule restricting the Ministers or Commissioned Lay Pastors or Sessions within its jurisdiction from performing or allowing the use of property for a marriage or civil union, due to the freedom of conscience protected by the Book of Order and our polity (G-1.0305, G-6.0108, Bush et al v. Presbytery of Pittsburgh – Remedial Case 218-10).
- That any part of any prior Authoritative Interpretation or General Assembly Permanent Judicial Commission opinion contrary to this Interpretation no longer has force or effect.
It is the intent of this Authoritative Interpretation to provide a compromise position. This would expand the definition of Christian Marriage to include those between members of the same gender, but would not require any Minister or Session to be involved in such a ceremony. Since marriage is not explicitly required for to perform any function in the church, it is not necessary for someone who does not support same-gender marriage to recognize such a marriage performed by another Minister or in another church. There is a strong case that ordination requires a very specific type of marriage, but it is unlikely that a Session or Presbytery would find an officer-elect being examined to be acceptable due to their actual or presumed sexual practice if they were concerned about that party’s involvement in a same-gender marriage or civil union.
I thank you for your time and consideration and apologize for this letter exceeding the requested 1000 words. I wish you well in the remainder of your work.
Yours in Christ,
Mark Smith
Candlelit Labyrinth
This past Thursday, I went up to Camp Johnsonburg for one day of Family Camp. It was good to reconnect with friends from years gone by. I had some conversations that may help my faith growth and/or discernment processes.
This was the last full day of Family Camp for the week. As a result in the evening there was the special Communion vespers service (I ended up reading the scripture).
After the service, Lorelei led a candlelight labyrinth. At Camp Johnsonburg there is an outdoor labyrinth made of stones laid on the forest floor under some trees. At the center is a big tree with a cross leaning against it. The camp tradition is to carry a stone with you while walking the labyrinth, and to leave it at the foot of the cross when you are done. The labyrinth has been there 10 years – the stones are in a huge pile covering the bottom 1/2 of the 5′ cross.
I’ve walked this labyrinth during the day alone, during the day with campers of all ages, and twice in the winter as part of a retreat. Each walk is a different experience (even when you lead it 4 times a day with campers). But the candlelight labyrinth is VERY different.
I helped set up the candles. We took tea lights and placed them on flattened silver foil cupcake papers laid on flat rocks around the labyrinth. Just before we arrived, a few of the Leadership Training Program reunion youth lit them.
It was late twilight when we arrived, and fully dark (on a cloudy night) when we were done. At the beginning of my personal walk, I was able to see the path without the candles. By the time I finished walking all the way in and then retracing the path out I could only see the path WITH the help of the candles – and then just barely. For the first time that I’d walked this labyrinth I was uncertain of my path. (Indeed, one youth tried to finish and kept accidentally jumping paths. He gave up and walked out across the stones when he was still going 10 minutes after everybody else.)
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As I write this I’ve been unemployed for over a year. While I continue to perform my church duties and even take on additional ones, I’m struggling with God: both with some kind of sense of call, and with frustration with my continued joblessness. I’ve reached a point where I feel like I believe in God, but I don’t think God believes in me. And yet I still feel drawn to God and to the religious world and life in some form. It’s very confusing and very painful.
As I walked this time, a metaphor became clear to me. I experienced it as a future sermon illustration. The candles were like God’s presence in the flame (Holy Spirit, if you will). I had walked this labyrinth many times, but THIS time I was uncertain of the path. I was only able to see the path with the help of the candles. So then go parts of our lives? Only able to see the path with God’s aid? God is with us assisting us to find our path?
For now it’s just a future sermon illustration and I don’t feel like it applies to me. I do feel rather abandoned by God. But perhaps there will be a day when God finally gets around to giving me a path or showing me what the path is, and this metaphor will be more concrete for me.
Next year I’ll be President of the Deacons and need to preach, so at the very least I have an idea to file away for 18 months or so.
May you find your path, and help others find theirs, with God’s help.
Montreat Youth Conference 2009, part 2
Last week I attended the Montreat Youth Conference 2009 Week 5. I served both as a Small Group Leader and as a Back-Home Leader for my church’s group. This is the second post about the trip, and will consist of “what did I feel” and “what did or did not happen to me” during the week. The first post consists of the “what did I do”.
First – let me get one thing out of the way. Unlike last year, God did not choose to speak directly to me (ironic, considering that we covered the Burning Bush story). If God talked to me this time, it was through smaller things and other people. (And that does seem likely.)
This was a very stretchy week.
The first stretch was a little one. This was the longest car trip that I’ve ever taken alone. Oddly enough, all other trips of more than half of this one have been by air, or with someone. It wasn’t a big stretch, but it’s an interesting anecdote.
The biggest stretch was leading the small group. My small group consisted of 33 people besides myself. In my 20 years of business and church and life, I’ve never actually led a group that big. It went very well, and I was repeatedly affirmed during the week by both the youth and adults in the group. I also benefited greatly from the confidence that my back-home group had in me. There IS a lot of work involved in being a small group leader – mainly due to the prep work required. It’s also a little hard for an introvert as you have to be “on stage” for several hours each day. You have a badge and wristbands that identify you as conference leadership all day long, so you’re not really “off stage” unless you’re alone or in a group of other leaders (or in my case, with the back-home group). At any rate, this went really well. Put a check in the stretch and succeed column.
Another big stretch was Monday night’s worship service. I agreed to serve as a prayer station during the Prayers of the People. There were about 12 of us stationed around Anderson Auditorium. We stood there while music played and people came up to us with personal prayer requests. The easiest one that I got had to do with generic prayers for the broken people in the world. The hardest were a recent personal cancer diagnosis, and a person struggling with addiction. The Holy Spirit was clearly in my corner on this one – I was able to serve as a conduit for hurt and healing and just had to concentrate on saying the right thing. This was a huge stretch for me. Those who have been following my call/career/transition saga know that at one point I said that I am not the right person to be working with people going through serious issues (and that I was immediately called to do just that right after saying so). This was another one of those moments. Put another in the stretch and succeed column (I hope – I haven’t heard from God yet).
A third stretch was performing in the Talent Show. Now I know that my talent (shaking a bell pepper-shaped shaker) was minor, but it was fun to be part of the show rather than the guy behind the scenes for a change. Our young ladies and men sang so sweetly and Mike played guitar so well that we were truly amazing. I can’t wait for Rich to edit the video.
I am grateful for the friend who took the time to listen to my troubles for a few minutes out of his very busy life on Tuesday evening, even while we were making arrangements for other stuff later in the week.
I met a lot of good friends during the week – new and old. I HAVE to find time to go see Brian and Carol and little C sometime in their native habitat. I knew Carol a little from the radio show (and she wasn’t there), but I got to meet Brian and find out how amazing he is. I can immediately think of 10-12 other people that I met at Montreat that I KNOW that I want to find a way to work with again. It was such fun working and laughing with them.
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The Montreat conference family is a little tough to join for the first time, but it’s totally worth it. For the first few days I was a little lost in the “inside” language (“innie vs. outie” for people responsible for stuff inside vs. outside the auditorium, for example) and I felt a bit like a well-loved new foster child. By the end of the week I felt more like a family member.
The Small Group Leaders that ate together on Sunday morning all commented on the Bacon Alarm Clock that comes with sleeping above the kitchen. Bacon quickly became the theme for our week. We talked about recipes containing bacon. We talked about what people make out of bacon (the AK-47 being the most mentioned). The official photographer had every small group yell “BACON!” when taking their picture.
One youth decided that I looked like Wallace Shawn playing Fizzini in Princess Bride (“Inconceivable!”).
I do not yet know what if any impact that this conference will have on my future. I did get an inkling that some friends may be trying to find a way to pay me to do something for them – and if it is truly the right thing to do for them I hope that it works out. I have learned that I can do some things that I didn’t know I could do before. It was good to have so many positive affirmations from so many people during the week. Here are two of my favorites from my small group:
(From the Blessings page in the booklet) “Thanks for keeping it awesome and if all else fails you can always take up the Bell Pepper professionally. -X”
I ran into one of my small group kids walking the other way in front of Anderson:
Me: Hi, Faith!
Faith: Oh good! You’re excited to see me!
I don’t know what the next year will bring, but next summer Montreat (and probably being a small group leader) will be on the short list of possibilities.
Montreat Youth Conference 2009 Part 1
Last week I attended the Montreat Youth Conference 2009 Week 5. I served both as a Small Group Leader and as a Back-Home Leader for my church’s group. This is the first post about the trip, and will consist of the “what did I do”. The second post will consist of “what did I feel” and “what did or did not happen to me” during the week.
I started out a day ahead of my Back-Home group on Friday the 24th. I drove 8 hours to Salem, VA and spent the night at a motel. During the evening I did some work finishing up the choice of music for use in my small group.
The next morning I headed out and arrived at Montreat. Upon arrival I ventured into Assembly Inn. A staff meeting was going on so there was nobody to check me in. Tully found me and guided me to meet Russ, one of the Small Group Leader leaders. After some travail finding out that the Assembly dining room was closed, we headed over to the Huckleberry for lunch.
In the first hour, I met at least 5 people that I had only previously known from the Internet, including Kathryn, Anna, and Tara. This continued for several days, with people looking at me and saying “you’re Mark, right? From the blog?” A social networker I am, apparently.
Saturday afternoon and evening and Sunday morning consisted of Small Group Leader training. The Omega (weeks 5 and 6) leadership came and gave us the rundown on what they’d be talking about and doing during the week. We learned some of the games (a few by playing), and were properly trained in Sexual Misconduct policies. We signed up for our slots assisting with the various recreation, worship and other activities during the week. We also did a “run-through” of Monday’s small group stuff – something that was repeated for the rest of the week almost daily. Those run-throughs gave us some idea of what to expect and what had worked and not worked during the week.
I stayed on the 3rd floor of Assembly Inn. My Back-Home leader and I had agreed that he already had enough other leaders that I wasn’t necessary overnight, and that I’d get more sleep at Assembly. The room was very comfortable. At night the windows let in the cool mountain air and I had no trouble sleeping because of heat. Our room (I shared it with a college student SGL) was above the kitchen and for the first few days I was awoken by the “Bacon Alarm Clock” at 5:30am – when the odors of breakfast wafted into the room. (Later in the week I was so tired that I slept through this alarm.)
My back-home group arrived on Sunday afternoon and I greeted them and shared dinner with them. For the rest of the week I had lunches and dinners with my back-home group and breakfast with the Assembly Inn crew of SGL’s, other youth groups, and other leadership. Each night I joined devotions with my back-home group until 11:30 or midnight, then walked back to Assembly.
Then the days began. The night before (if I was lucky, the afternoon before) I prepared the small group activities for the next day – making notes and preparing paper game pieces, newsprint sheets, or whatever was required. I was usually able to finalize the morning Small Group session before the Keynote started at 9am, and then joined my back-home group for Keynote. Then morning Small Group, lunch, afternoon Small Group, and then different things each day. Monday afternoon was the special recreation event in Small Groups. Tuesday was a little free and I made it to the run-through for Wednesday/Thursday. Wednesday was the free afternoon and my back-home group went to Asheville for the afternoon (more later). Thursday afternoon I was involved in recording for the God Complex Radio show AND the sound check for the Talent Show and missed the Friday run-through. Friday afternoon was quiet, so I packed to get ready to leave Saturday.
In the evenings there was a different event each night. Sunday evening was orientation and a recreation event. During the Sunday rec event I prepped for Monday. Monday’s evening event was the Disco Inferno dance party with glow-in-the-dark everything, and I was prepping for Tuesday. On Tuesday evening I missed the “concert” by Glenis Redmond because I was chatting with a friend who was also at Montreat. Wednesday night’s rec event was a showing of Wall-E, which was rained out and held indoors – I helped out inside for a while and then was sent to “walk around” outside as many youth were out and about. Thursday night’s event was the “Montreat’s Got Talent” show and my back-home group participated (more later). Friday evening’s rec event was early and was the “Hot in Here” karaoke inside and games outside – I “supervised” the bocce ball set.
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Each day had a different theme. Monday’s theme was all about how the World is on Fire – how things are broken. It also included a discussion of safe spaces – using the “tree outside the house that we go to in case of fire” as the metaphor. Tuesday’s theme was Baptism, and how we are called to help fix the world. Wednesday’s theme was Communion, and we talked and identified our communion of saints as our cloud of witnesses. Thursday was Offering, and we talked about offering ourselves as a way to fix the world. We’d also been taking a collection of loose change in a drink bottle during small group, and on Thursday I processed with that at the beginning of worship and placed it with the offering baskets. Friday’s theme was being sent out into the world to fight the fires, and ended with the traditional candlelight circle around Lake Susan.
On Saturday I moved out and joined my back-home group for the 12 hour drive home. I switched off driving with Mike, one of the college students in my back-home group, and we used my vehicle as a baggage car. Mike and I had lots of long talks and got to know each other much better, and I really enjoyed the trip. It went by much faster than I expected and I was awake enough to finish out the drive.
The God Complex Radio show made an appearance. A solid 2/3 of the team was all at Montreat this week – Bruce Reyes-Chow (serving as the conference Co-Director’s husband, not to mention Moderator), Brian Merritt (serving as the leader of the Work Crew), and Heather Scott (working on either Aud or A/V crew – I’m not sure which) were there along with me. Thursday afternoon Brian and I along with Jason Meyers (a college student from my back-home group) set up inside the lobby of Anderson Auditorium and recorded some youth for use in a future God Complex program. On Friday at lunch we set up again at Bruce’s “GA Moderator Town Hall” on the porch of the Galax House and recorded some adults. Those recordings will now be edited and turned into a segment for a future broadcast.
I absolutely LOVED my back-home group, and they loved me. I felt bad that my small group duties kept me away from them, but they showed a lot of care for me in making sure that I was feeling good about my experience. I was nervous about being a small group leader, and I totally felt the support of my PCOL peeps. The group proved to be a fairly easy group to lead and take on a trip – with the biggest problems being things like keeping the house clean.
I also LOVED my small group, and they loved me back. They, too, were very easy to lead. We had a great mix of personalities and ages (including the adults) and that made for a truly great group. Everyone participated and I could clearly see many stepping out of their comfort zones. We had two VERY deep theological discussions early in the week – moving in one discussion from a game that showed that all were part of the same team all the way to a discussion of pluralism vs. the idea that all should be Christian … in 10 minutes! We also discovered a lot of thespian talent in the room in the skits that we did.
On Thursday, the Lawrenceville back-home group performed Jack Johnson’s “Rainbow” with Rich on rhythm guitar, Mike on solo lead guitar, me on bell pepper-shaped shaker, and several of the youth singing. Performing before the 1200 or so Montreat folks was the largest crowd that I’ve EVER perfomed in front of, unless you count playing in the pep band or marching band at college games. Our group was INCREDIBLE. Even more incredible than our group was the overall talent level of the entire set of performers – EVERYBODY was good (and the acts were randomly drawn, so that’s amazing).
There were really only two downsides to the week. First – our group may or may not have brought a cold with us, but over the course of the week many of us had a cold (me towards the end). Second – relatives of one of the year-round residents of Montreat (NOT connected with the conference) were going around all week throwing water balloons and tennis balls at people. Our group was hit with balloons early, and with tennis balls DURING the candlelight service around the lake. The grandparents of the offenders (a mid-20’s man and his nephew) denied everything. I hope that the conference center works with the town to prevent this during other conference weeks.
All in all it was a good week and a tiring week. I almost wish that I’d stayed a second week, but I fear that I’d be all the way out of energy if I had.
Getting Ready for Montreat
As I’ve written previously, I’m going to the 2009 Montreat Youth Conference week 5 (or week V for other search strings). I’m doing this on the insanity ticket by being both a Small Group Leader and Back-Home Leader. Sleep? What’s that?
Last night the adult leaders of the trip from my church had dinner at my house and did some planning. We are so incredibly organized this year – mainly due to the increased organization of our Youth Director, but with an assist from leaders who after last year now have Montreat experience. The number of youth going this year has increased almost 50%, and the enthusiasm of last year’s attendees has even produced a last minute addition.
I’m getting ready for my Small Group Leader role in my usual fashion – I’m probably over-preparing. I’ve read the manual cover to cover several times and I’m going back and re-reading it now with an eye to logistics. I’ve started packing, and will finish tomorrow. I’ve gone to the church and borrowed a bunch of props for one activity, and I’m finishing my preparation (with a HUGE amount of help from my Youth Director) of music for journaling/meditative time and such.
Because I’m a Small Group Leader I have to be there a day early, which means that I start out alone Friday morning. My group leaves Saturday morning and is spending Saturday night in Greensboro, NC. We’ll all be together when they arrive at Montreat on Sunday and we’ll travel home together.
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While I’m there the God Complex radio show will likely make a brief appearance as we record the thoughts of some youth on a question for use in a future program. Four out of the six God Complex team members will be at Montreat at the same time next week, and hopefully we’ll all meet up at some point.
I’m a little nervous about the time commitment required for doing both the SGL and BHL jobs. I’m hoping that I can work that out. I know that my church’s trip leaders are being very helpful in allowing me to determine the degree to which I can participate with them. I’m usually an 8-hour per night sleeper. Last year (with help from the Spirit) I managed to pull it off with only 6 hours of sleep most nights – less one night. The only problem was that I was wiped out for the drive home on Saturday, and was only able to take a 3 hour shift driving (on a 12 hour trip). This year it’s a bit tougher in that we’ll add my vehicle to the group. We’re working on a solution to that. I do feel very comfortable that I can do the rest of the SGL job – it’s the same as leading my home group or serving as a leader at Camp Johnsonburg, albeit with a larger group. The Small Group Manual lays things out in a manner that make it easy to see how leading the group will work. I think I’m ready.
I hope to have at least a few pictures to post after the trip.
A quick update
There’s been a lot going on lately since my last post.
The job search continues. Yesterday marked 11 months since the layoff. I do have one possibility pending that would be a 1/2 time consulting job.
At church we’re shifting a bit to handle the resignation of our Associate Pastor which is effectively effective immediately. This may result in some actual responsibilities for me in my role as Vice-President of the Deacons. We’ll see.
Last week I went up to Camp Johnsonburg to serve one day as Volunteer Chaplain. This mainly involved leading bible studies and labyrinth walks for various age groups, but I was also involved in evening vespers. There was a really neat session with a Senior High unit. The chaplain (Lorelei) and I were invited to a session called “Questions and Answers” and we had no idea what questions would come up. We did our best to answer them unprepared and several stories from my life (most written here) were able to serve as at least partial answers. The most concrete question we got I was able to answer once I was back at home (with a major assist from my Twitter followers) and get the answer back to camp before the unit went home. I’m going to be repeating this role again later this week.
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The God Complex Internet radio program continues every Monday at noon EDT, 9am PDT. I’m serving as webmaster for the program and during the live show I coordinate the public chat room.
I’m still busily getting ready for the Montreat Youth Conference later this month (week 5 – July 26 – August 1). I have all of the items that I need to bring as a Small Group Leader and I’m working on going through the SGL manual now with a Bible in the other hand to prepare myself.
Carolyn was gone for about 10 days out of 14 a few weeks ago working on a problem machine at her company’s California facility. This included one 44-hour “day” on the last trip. I think she’s mostly caught up on sleep.
New Church Roles
Yesterday has to be something of a record for me being invited to take on a new church role. Luckily all of them are manageable and most are one-time or short-time needs.
The role that is most visible and important is that I was asked to be the Vice-President of the Deacons next year. This in turn makes me the President of the Deacons the following year. Now, the Vice-President has no real responsibility other than perhaps leading the deacon meeting if the President can’t be there. I have figured out two other responsibilities, though:
- If the President of the Deacons for another church dies, the Vice-President attends the funeral.
- In the event that the Presbyterian Church of Lawrenceville is attacked, the Vice-President will make coffee in an undisclosed location.
The President of the Deacons does have serious responsibilities. Those include:
- Working with the Associate Pastor to create the agenda for the monthly deacon meeting.
- Leading the monthly deacon meeting.
- Producing the schedule for coffee and greeting each Sunday, including tracking the changes. This will be easy for me – I’m already sending out the reminder e-mails each week.
- Preaching on Deacon Sunday. (I asked my wife if she thought I could do that, and she said “No problem.” Then I asked if she thought I could do a full 15 minutes and she said that cutting me off would be the problem!)
- Serving as the deacon member of the nominating committee.
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So, barring any changes, I’ll be doing the President job in the 2010-2011 year. Of course, each position is in addition to my regular role as a deacon, the deacon ministry team that I belong to and my little job sending out the reminder e-mails.
Another job that I was asked to perform is to serve on a small team working on a particular curriculum for our Youth and Young Adult program. That group is only expected to meet 3 times or so, so that’s not a big addition.
I was also asked to attend a meeting to talk about planning a major regional church event. A presbytery committee is starting the process, but the group that was invited is ecumenical. This could be interesting. I have a little bit of awe at being invited as most of the other names on the list that I recognized are religious professionals of one form or another.
And the last one is to help with some computer issues in the Computer Lab at our church, and potentially to substitute for someone during Vacation Bible School. I’m likely to do that if the schedule works.
As I said – except for the deacon responsibility these are all small things today, and I will likely do all of them.
Montreat Youth Conference 2009 – week 5
Some very bright news (and only somewhat related to what I mentioned in the last post) is the fact that I’m going to get to go back to the Montreat Youth Conference this summer.
With the support of my youth director at church, I decided to apply to become a Small Group Leader this year. I got the letter yesterday telling me that I was accepted. This is a small step outside of my comfort zone. I was considering it last year after the conference, but decided not to apply at the time. Now I’m in. I loved my time at the conference last year, and my small group was one of the best parts. I want to give back.
Through some rather unusual situations, our church group going to the conference has found itself short of one male leader. So I’ll also be going as a Back-Home Leader. Because we have another male leader and 2 female leaders, I will most likely be staying at Assembly Inn with the rest of the small group leaders, and doing some meals and evening Back-Home time with my church group. If nothing else, it should get me more sleep.
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I’m really impressed with how much impact the conference has had on our youth group. 100% of the youth from last year’s trip are scheduled to go again this year, and we’re adding more youth (mostly youth who are just now old enough to go) to increase the group by 50%. I could see the difference that last year’s trip had in each youth’s life in the way that they interacted with each other and the church in the year since. Some changes were bigger than others, but all were changed.
I’m really excited about the trip, and already annoying my wife with disjointed thoughts about it. I really feel like it may be a make or break experience for one of my options for the future.
Introverts and Youth Ministry
Grier Booker-Richards – a friend, seminarian about to graduate (hire her now, ask me how!), and experienced youth ministry veteran – has given me another blog challenge. “Write something about introverts and youth ministry”.
Now, I’m no expert on youth ministry. At best I’m a somewhat gifted amateur. So I will write about what I can clearly write about – my experiences and what that leads me to think.
Background: I’m just over the border to the 40’s, I test clearly as an INFP (strong I, strong N), and I’ve been a camp counselor and more recently a volunteer youth advisor to a Sr. High youth group at my church. My return to church after a long absence also marked my first journey into youth ministry as an adult. That was about 2 years ago. (Wow. Only 2 years?)
I’ll divide the rest into 2 areas: Introverts entering youth ministry, and Introvert style in youth ministry
Introverts Entering Youth Ministry
I’ll admit it – I was very nervous when I started doing youth ministry again. The last time I had done it was when I was a youth. I remembered it fondly, and most importantly I was invited in. Alicia, who I knew from camp, invited me to try out the youth group for a week or two. She told me when to arrive and how to prepare. She was there the first evening.
I was feeling a bit worried because my youth relational skills were VERY rusty. Carolyn and I don’t have children, and I had very little interaction with anybody under age 25 for almost 20 years. I didn’t know if I would have anything in common with the youth. I was feeling all of the same fears that any new member of a youth group would feel.
I overcame that, and discovered (mostly in the 2nd week, when we broke out into groups) that the youth were fantastic people. No, I mean REALLY impressive – better than I remember being at their age.
The key for me was that I had someone who invited me in. Without Alicia I’m not sure that I would have taken the step. It’s really funny to think that after my experiences. Today, as I go through my career transition, I’m told repeatedly that if possible my new career should include working with youth. There are people saying that they believe that I have a gift for this. And I never would have found that out without Alicia pulling me in.
If you are an introvert (or just “shy”) and are considering youth ministry, try it. Do it on your terms – make sure that you aren’t making a permanent or long-term commitment and just try it out for a week or two. You’ll find out very quickly that you love it or hate it or can do it but it doesn’t excite you. See where God is calling you. Peek out of your shell.
It’s also important to remember a few things to be more comfortable. First, you are an adult. You are the authority in the room (maybe not the top dog, but certainly above the youth). You have a life outside of the group. You can walk away if you feel that you need to. Second – you aren’t alone. Something like 20% of the youth AND adults in the room will be introverts, too. Other youth workers are trained (to some degree) in working with people of different types and they’ll be able to “read” you too and help you find your place. Third – everybody (God included) wants the best possible experience for you and the youth. They’ve got your back. Fourth – be yourself. If you are considering doing this it’s likely that being yourself is good enough (or better). Youth need different kinds of adults in their lives. By being yourself you provide them the strong example of authenticity when interacting with others.
In short – entering any new situation is hard. This one can be easier than most.
Introvert Style in Youth Ministry
One of the great “truths” about ministry is that its easier for those who are outgoing or extroverted. There’s some truth to that – ministry requires you to meet many new people and understand their needs and to give your message to the world. It’s real, but not absolute.
Youth ministry is one place where being an introvert is a double-edged sword. On the one hand the youth minister is expected to lead a group of people in need of direction and guidance. You can’t live completely in your shell to do that. But on the other hand, youth ministers are expected to be able to take a deep dive into the lives of their youth – particularly those who need more guidance or help or a shoulder to cry on than the average. This is where introverts excel.
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Youth today need breadth and depth. Breadth is something that the extrovert large group leader is good at – energizing, motivating, teaching and entertaining a crowd. The extrovert leader is able to communicate with the mass of youth and mold them roughly into better disciples, while gaining energy.
Where the introvert excels is depth. Introverts are very comfortable delving into the deep corners of the soul, and often make very good listeners. Introverts who trust others can build relationships that are long-term, deep, and very meaningful to both parties. The introvert in youth ministry is less a sunny day or a thunderstorm than a rock or a tree – a solid (but not unchanging) structure that a youth can choose to linger near or cling to.
Please note first that these are gross generalizations and not true in all cases. Sara Ferguson, one of my fellow youth advisors, is an extrovert with a capital E, and a capital X, and a capital T … you get the idea. Yet she has formed the deepest relationships with our youth and is a strong and deep presence in their lives. I’m getting better at working the group instead of working with individuals myself. It’s an experience thing.
Also please note that breadth and depth are not the same things as quantity and quality. Breadth and depth in youth ministry work are different kinds of quality. Quantity does influence style – the extrovert is somewhat better with large groups and the introvert may be better with an individual. But quality is in my opinion more important than quantity. Breadth and depth are both different and non-contradictory measures of quality.
I also firmly believe that anybody can love anybody else (that’s what we’re doing – loving the youth). Some relationships are natural and a few are almost automatic. There’s no truth to the idea that introverted leaders work best with introverted youth, or the opposite. It’s just a matter of style.
I do have a few tips for introverts in youth ministry, particularly those new to it:
Sitting on the Couch – Grier (remember Grier – she asked for this) taught me in an e-mail message that I received on the way to my first Montreat Youth Conference a ministry style that works well for me. It’s called “Ministry by sitting on the couch”. The idea is to simply be there, be available, and the youth will come to you. At Montreat that took the form of sitting on the couch at First House (often recovering strength) and being open to speaking with the youth. At my church youth group it means being loose and approachable – being there for someone to talk to. If a youth wants to speak with you, they will find you. This really works! I had a few youth approach me at Montreat and we had some really deep conversations. The same happens back at home – particularly with the youth who arrive early for events. A few other thoughts on this – boundaries are important. Don’t get hounded into giving up all of your free time. When you are there for them, you have to give them your FULL attention. Introverts are generally good at this unless socially exhausted. Also, a little bit of followup privately (as opposed to in the middle of the room in a crowd) is important.
You Won’t Connect With All of Them – One thing that I find periodically frustrating is an inability to connect with all of my youth. I truly love each of them in a way unique to the individual. Realize this – you couldn’t possibly connect with each youth even if you wanted to, unless your group is VERY small. And there’s no reason to expect to either. This is why having multiple volunteers is important – different people click with different youth. Don’t be upset if you fail to make a strong connection with any given youth – it’s more important that the youth connect with SOME adult. Just be there for the youth that you do connect with.
One related issue common to INFP’s is the typical inability to accept yourself. INFP’s are never satisfied with themselves – there is always a way to improve. For me this means that the way that other people see me is a blind spot – I have trouble seeing myself as others see me. Seek a safe person to check your assumptions with – they may see your interactions with others differently (and more accurately) than you do.
Help the introverted youth – You know what it’s like to be new in a group, and what it’s like to be an introvert in a crowd. Be on the lookout for youth going through the same things. Sit next to the new kid and just be there. You don’t have to make endless small talk. Just be there. And if a youth reaches the “people overload” point and has to leave the room for a while, be the person who follows them for safety reasons. Find a reason to go in the same direction (cleaning up dishes often works) and just bump into them in the hall. Give them the space that they need without needing to round them up to rejoin the group. You’ll need to bring them back at some point, but you’ll have some idea of when their batteries are recharged enough. This requires some trust of both the leaders and the youth, but you’ll reach the “it’s OK – Mark is handling it” point pretty quickly.
You are not just an introvert – Everybody is different. Everybody has different talents. You will form relationships with all types of youth – both the introverted and the extroverted. That’s a good thing. You may have to extend yourself a little more than you’re used to, but it’s totally worth it. You have something to give to the group that is unique, and you need to share it with all. For me, it’s a love of sci-fi and anime, drumming, and flying. For you it is probably something else. Share yourself with all.
To sum up – introverts are a bit of a special case in youth ministry, but it is not a negative. Introverts bring unique skills and viewpoint to any group, and can balance things. Introverts can minister to other introverts, but are most effective when providing a quiet but strong presence to all.
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